by Jill Sanders
Sighing, he turned and walked out of the small room to walk in on Missy hugging a large, very tan, very muscular man. He felt every muscle in his body tense with jealousy.
When he cleared his throat, Missy pulled away from the man, her smile still in place as her eyes met his.
He’d never once thought there was a possibility that she had a lover. He’d learned from his sources that she was unmarried, but they hadn’t been able to find out anything more. The fact that it had taken a private detective almost two years to find her had baffled him. Especially considering she was less than a hundred miles away, still going by Marissa, and he’d given the man a few dozen pictures of her. She had changed her last name from Grayton to Wright, which hadn’t been even her real mother’s name.
As he watched, she reached up on her toes and kissed the man on his cheek. “I’ll see you later tonight.” She squeezed his shoulder. The man glanced at him with a stern look in his eyes, then back at Missy.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
Missy didn’t even glance his way before answering. “It’s fine. I was just showing our newest employee the supplies.” She walked behind the counter, dismissing them both.
“New around here, eh?” the man said, taking a few steps towards him. “I’m Clay. I’m one of the ferry captains.”
He felt some of the jealousy shift. “Roman.” He shook the man’s hand when he offered it. “So far I’ve been on parasailing.”
Clay nodded. “Jenny mentioned that the two of you knew each other.” He nodded to where Missy was busy behind the counter near the back of the store.
He nodded slowly. “Grew up together.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“You’d better get going. I know Julie will be waiting for you,” she called from behind the counter.
He watched Clay turn pale and then nod his head and rush out.
Roman walked over to where Missy was putting all of the cash back into the register.
“What was that about?” he asked, trying to keep his voice level.
She glanced up at him, her eyebrows squished together in question.
“Clay was just coming in to tell me that he needed next month off.”
“Oh?” he asked, leaning against the counter, trying to look casual. What he really wanted to do was ask her why she was hugging her employee.
She nodded her head, not even looking up at him this time.
“So, sounds like you’ll be needing someone to help out with the ferry.” He waited as she sighed and closed her eyes. When she rolled her shoulders, he watched the movement and appreciated the view. She was wearing a black tank top and tan shorts that fit her just right. He wished he could get his hands on her again.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead yet.” She turned and glanced at a sheet of paper hanging behind the counter. “Marv is supposed to be on for the next few days.”
“Maybe I can ride with him. From the looks of it, John and Bob have things under control with the parasailing.”
She looked over at him and thought about it for a while. “Why?”
He smiled. “Why, what?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Are you going to…” Just then the bell chimed again and she groaned with frustration. “Later,” she warned. “Do whatever you want. If I remember correctly, you will anyway.”
He chuckled as he turned and walked out. They knew each other too well to pretend. Even though they’d been apart almost eight years, he still knew her better than anyone else did.
He stood on the dock, waiting for the ferry to come back from its first run of the day. He’d told Bob and John that he was training with Marv today. The two men had smiled and slapped him on his back.
“Couldn’t cut it, huh?”
He’d chuckled. “Well, I just figured that you two had everything under control. Besides, Cole’s supposed to be out for a month.”
“Oh?” They both looked at each other. “Julie must have had the baby.”
He’d been relieved to find out that Cole was married and a new father, which had explained the hug. Still, he spent a few minutes probing the older guys into telling him that Missy was not seeing anyone.
“Actually, come to think of it, she hasn’t mentioned dating, ever,” Bob had said.
“You know,” John said and scratched his chin, “I don’t think that girl’s been out on a date for years.” They both shook their heads and then turned as a group of people lined up to get on the boat.
It was almost half an hour later when Missy walked to the end of the dock, dragging behind her a cart.
“What’s all that?” He motioned to the cart full of boxes.
“Deliveries,” she’d said and sat next to him.
“For?” He waited patiently.
“Customers.” She waved his next question aside. “It’s groceries for customers on Dog Island,” she finally said. “Now, are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?”
Their knees were almost touching. He leaned closer and enjoyed watching her eyes heat when skin touched skin.
“I told you. I’m here for you.”
She turned to him, scooting her knee away.
“I’m not going to go back. I couldn’t…” She turned and watched the ferry making its way towards them.
“What?” he asked, putting his arm around her.
She sighed and glanced at him. “I couldn’t face them. Not after everything.” She turned her face into the wind and sun.
“Missy,” he said, playing with her hair like he used to. It was still soft and smelled like strawberries like it always had. “No matter what you did in the past”—he used his finger to pull her chin until she looked at him—“we forgive you. We’re your family. We love you.”
***
Roman’s words played over in her head as she sat back and watched Marv teach him everything he would need to know about running the ferry.
She wanted to believe him and wished more than anything that her family could understand why she’d had to leave. Why she couldn’t go back.
When her eyes grew damp thinking about it, she stood up and walked outside and leaned against the railing, watching the crystal teal water below her. There was just too much at stake now. She wasn’t willing to give up her life. Her career. Even more important, Reagan.
At just the thought of her family finding out her secret, she shivered in the warm air, so she wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the railing.
No, she wouldn’t be going back. She needed to work on a plan to get Roman to leave.
When the ferry docked, Roman helped her unload her cart. Even though there were only two deliveries for the day, she still had four large boxes to lug around. She knew she’d be done in time to catch the next ferry ride home but thought about taking some time to enjoy a walk along the beach first.
Roman showing up had changed so much in her life, she still hadn’t had time to think through all the possibilities.
Reagan had been too full of energy last night for her to have a moment to herself. Dinnertime ran into bath time, which of course ran into her reading him a story before bed. Then she’d been too tired to even relax in a hot bath, which she had fantasized about all day.
Her first delivery was to the newest members of Dog Island. The Chen’s were newlyweds, direct from San Diego. They were one of the cutest couples Missy had ever had the privilege to meet.
Huan Chen was a local dentist and in his mid-thirties. His wife, Sue, had just graduated and worked out of the home with online legal advice sites.
Sue was one of the nicest clients Missy had ever had. The woman went out of her way to help her unload their groceries and always chatted with her.
By the time she made her other delivery, she was in a better mood, thanks to Sue. She took her time driving to one of her favorite spots on the island where there weren’t many homes. She liked the seclusion and the quiet.
Pulling off her shoes, she walked for a f
ew minutes and then found a soft spot in the white sugar sand to sit down. Tucking her knees up to her chest, she sat and watched the crystal-clear teal water lap on the shore and thought about Roman.
So much had changed since she’d seen him last. Even though he looked pretty much the same, so much had changed about him. His hair for one. She held in a giggle, then glanced around and, realizing she was truly alone, let it out anyway.
She’d never seen it as long as it was now. He looked like a beach bum, more like Cole than the Roman she’d known. Roman had always been neat and tidy. Perfect.
She sighed and rested her head against her knees. Perfect. She thought about that word. So many years ago, she’d thought that’s exactly what he was. Perfect.
Hadn’t that been the reason she’d fallen for him right away? And also the reason she’d left in such haste.
She’d been a mess when she’d arrived at the Grayton’s, not knowing who to trust or even if she could trust herself.
Even with all of her current indecision, she was far better off now than she’d been as a child.
Brainwashing was a hard thing to get over. Especially if it was done by people you loved and trusted and it started before you could walk.
Shaking her head clear of the horror that was her life growing up in a polygamous sect, she moved back to thoughts of Roman. How he’d been the one to help her grow out of her fear of the opposite sex.
He’d earned her trust, her friendship, then her love, all within the first year of knowing him.
Then she’d betrayed him and left him and her family in the dark as she ran. Looking back at her life, she realized that all the reasons she’d piled up didn’t really account for the hurt she’d caused them.
She cared too much about them. When she’d heard that Cole had been in an accident, she’d rushed to the hospital to check up on him, afraid that she’d be seen, but more afraid that her brother had been seriously injured.
Then there had been Cassey’s wedding. Sighing, she glanced up and looked out over the water. She’d cried herself to sleep that night. It had been so hard, standing along the boardwalk, almost two hundred yards away, watching her sister get married. Several times, she’d talked herself into running across the sand and rushing up to take her sister in a hug.
But, in the end, she’d spotted Roman standing next to her other brothers and had backed away slowly. She just couldn’t imagine telling him everything. Not then and not now.
She knew it was inevitable. Everything in life moved in a big circle. She’d tried to prepare herself for the day she would have to tell Roman about Reagan.
Falling back onto the sand, she looked up at the cloud-free sky and moaned. “Why did it have to happen so fast?”
Chapter Five
Being a captain of a ferry was a lot more fun than he’d ever imagined. First of all, you got to greet everyone who boarded and exited your vessel. Second, you got to steer a bad-ass large boat with a lot of power. Third, you got to say anything you wanted over the loudspeakers and you had a captive audience.
Of course, by the third trip, he’d run out of jokes and material, but that didn’t matter to the passengers; they laughed and clapped along anyway.
Marv had shown him all that he could by the end of the first run. He’d promised to show him about the engines and mechanics after their last run of the day, which ended around seven thirty in the evenings.
“We don’t run after dark. There are a few ferries farther down that run after sunset, but not us.” The older man smiled at him as he waved to a few people leaving the docks. “We won’t run during a storm either. Only before and after we’ve gotten the all clear.”
“Why’s that?” he asked, leaning against the railing of the dock.
“Too many chances. Missy’s old man had a crew that took chances.” He shook his head. “Lost three good men in one day.”
He stood up, dropping his arms to his sides. “Missy’s old…” He shook his head. “Her father?”
Marv glanced at him. “I thought you said you grew up with her?”
“I did…” He fought the urge to tell the man everything. “I know for a fact that Missy was adopted at the age of eight.”
Marv smiled and nodded. “Then she found Doug shortly after her eighteenth birthday. Right before she had Reagan.”
“Reagan?” His head was starting to spin.
“Whoa, are you okay? You’re not seasick or something, are you?”
“Marv, you and I need to have a talk. Now.” He gripped the man’s arm and pulled him back towards the ferry.
Thirty minutes later, the ferry was pulling back up to the island docks. When he saw Missy standing at the docks next to a few customers, he turned to Marv.
“I’m taking a break. You can pick us up on the next run.”
Marv nodded and then slapped him on the back. “Be patient with her.”
He answered. “You’ve no idea how patient I’ve already been.”
As he exited the boat, her eyes settled on him. She looked relaxed. Like she’d gotten a little more sun that day. Her blonde hair was flying around her face and she started to smile when she saw him. When her eyes met his, however, the smile fell away.
“What?” she asked when he walked up to her without saying a word and took her arm. “What’s wrong?” She glanced back at the ferry, then at him. “Did Marv…”
“Not here,” he growled, pulling her with him until he stood in front of the cart. “This is yours?” he asked. When she nodded, he moved aside to allow her to climb aboard. “I’ll drive.” He waited until she scooted over on the seat.
“Roman, you don’t…”
“Not yet.” He looked at her, trying to swallow his hurt, pain, and anger until he was better under control. When the cart kicked up dust behind them, he smiled. The last thing he’d wanted was to be putting along in a golf cart when there was so much bubbling up inside him. Right now, he needed the speed.
They rode along in silence. She propped her feet up on the dash like she was along for a slow Sunday drive, so he gunned it again until the pavement ended. Then he sped through the sand until they were finally out of land. Here, there were only a few houses scattered few and far between. He drove until he found a patch of beach that was far away from anything else. When the cart stopped, she turned to him on the seat and raised her eyebrows.
“Are you going to tell me what this is all about?”
He rolled his shoulders before turning to her and taking her hand in his. Then he tugged until she followed him to the edge of the water.
“Tell me it’s not true.” He didn’t recognize his own voice.
“Wh… what?” He watched her swallow.
Instead of answering, he just looked at her.
“Roman?” She shook her head. “Marv had no right…”
He let out a low growl, causing her to stop.
“Is it true?” he asked again.
She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, a move he knew all too well. There was nothing more he would get from her, not if he continued to go at it from this angle.
Years of loneliness, hurt, and anger boiled inside of him along with newer emotions of betrayal, of being lied to, raped of something he’d desired beyond anything else. Everything mixed together caused him to move towards her in a quick motion.
Before he knew it, she was in his arms, her lips crushed under his as he took what he’d wanted for what seemed like forever.
Her nails dug into his skin just below his ribs. She didn’t even try to push him away. Instead she met him beat for beat, moan for moan as he fueled his desires with the taste, the feel of her next to him.
When her knees went lax, he followed her to the soft sand, covering her body with his, pushing her farther into the beach.
Not until he felt her heart kick against his chest, her breathing labored so much that she was gulping for oxygen, did he finally push away from her.
He sat next to her and shoved his fi
ngers through his hair, almost yanking it all out. “Why?” It came out as a whisper.
She took her time sitting up, tucking her knees close to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
“I was afraid.”
He turned quickly to her. “Of me?”
She shook her head without looking at him.
“Then what?” he croaked.
“My family.” She bit her bottom lip.
The burst of laughter escaped him. “We would have…”
“No, not the Graytons.” She turned to him finally. “The Smiths.”
He tilted his head in question. “You don’t have a family outside of…”
She sighed and rolled her head back, looking directly above her. “Roman,” she finally said, turning to him again. “Do you remember what I said the day we met?”
He smiled. “You hated boys.”
She nodded. “And?” When he didn’t answer, she continued. “I said it was my wedding day.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, still haven’t gotten…” His voice died in the breeze when realization hit him. His shoulders slumped and he felt his insides shake with something else—fear and anger mixed together.
His fingers took her shoulders and pulled her closer. “You were serious?”
She nodded and he watched a tear roll down her cheek.
“What has that got to do with why you left me?”
She closed her eyes and he could tell she was trying to get her emotions under control.
“Everything.” She shook her head, which sent her hair flying around her damp face.
He thought about it for a moment and realized he had yet to hear one thing from her.
“Is the boy mine?” he asked quietly.
***
How could she tell him so much without exposing everything. Before answering, she turned to look off at the surf. The waves were stronger here, at the end of the island. Angrier, like Roman was, sitting next to her.
“Yes.” She turned to him, watching his emotions. She expected anger, but not his tears. When he closed his eyes, several rolled down his face, breaking her heart in two.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant with I left.” She reached for him, only to have him yank away and stand up. When he walked several feet into the surf, she followed. “You have to believe me.”
