“Uh.” He nodded. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you’ll be great. Watching you with Amy today, you’ve done just fine. Besides, you’re strong and smart and compassionate. All the things that make an excellent mom.”
Unconvinced and uncomfortable, she picked up the cards again and dealt them a new hand. Her chips were running low so she needed to make this one count. Luckily, she had the same hand Simon had had before—two aces. She anted up and waited for him to bet. Once he did, she pulled a Simon and pushed everything she had into the centre. “I’m all in too this time.”
“Wow. Okay.” He frowned at his cards again, then did the same. “Let’s make it a true all or nothing.”
“Deal.” She laid the three cards for the flop in the centre of the table, then squealed. One ace and two jacks. A full house.
“I’ve got three of a kind,” he said, turning his hand over to reveal two more jacks.
“Aw, darn,” she said, playing it up. “That’s really good. Except it doesn’t beat my full house!”
Simon cursed under his breath, even though his wide smile belied any real upset. “Whelp, it looks like you win again. Ask me another question.”
She took her time now, putting away the cards and the chips before meeting his gaze. Her heart was racing and her throat was dry from nerves even though she pretty much already knew his answer. Once the words were out there, they couldn’t take them back. “Do you want this baby?”
He didn’t answer at first, just sat there, watching her. Finally, he nodded. “I do. It’s weird, I know, because it’s certainly not anything I’d planned. But I want our child more than I want anything else in this world.”
Yep. That’s what she’d expected. What she hadn’t expected was the sudden ache in her heart at his profession or the swell of desire inside her that Simon’s words caused. Maybe it was the hormones again. Maybe it was the weird sense of intimacy that had developed tonight during the game. Maybe it was the full moon outside. Whatever it was, she wanted him, fiercely. And tonight, she’d have him, if he wanted her too. “Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Go for it.”
Alisha bit her lip, then came out with it. “Will you kiss me?”
Simon stared at her so long, she thought maybe he hadn’t heard her. But then he got up and came around the table to take her hand and pull her up to her feet in front of him. Her heart was hammering so hard she thought it might beat right out of her chest. Blood sang in her ears and her breath caught in her throat as he leaned in slowly, closer and closer, until only a few millimetres separated them. Then his lips brushed hers, once, twice, gentle as butterfly wings before his mouth captured hers in a deep kiss that left them both breathless by the time they pulled apart.
Forehead to forehead, they stared into each other’s eyes before Alisha finally took Simon’s hand and led him toward the stairs. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.”
Fourteen
After checking in on Amy in the nursery to make sure she was still okay and sleeping, Simon waited until they were out in the hall and the door was safely closed before he swept Alisha up into his arms and carried her into the master bedroom. She held on tight, kissing him and nuzzling his neck, unable to get enough of him.
Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it was something else. Something she didn’t want to overthink. But whatever it was, things tonight definitely felt different than they had that first night they’d been together, all those weeks ago.
Not that she planned to say anything to Simon about it. Hell, she was still figuring all this out herself. No need to complicate matters by letting her emotions take over, right?
But as he closed the door behind them with his butt and gently let her body slide down his until her feet touched the floor, an odd ache started near the centre of her chest. It wasn’t love, because that would be silly, right? She didn’t love Simon Stone. In truth, she barely knew Simon Stone. But the tug on her heart was definitely…something. Attraction? Absolutely. Affection? Probably.
“Hey,” Simon said, tracing his fingers up her sides and drawing the hem of her shirt along with them. “Is this okay with you?”
Alisha blinked at him a moment, biting back the words on the tip of her tongue that hell yes, this was way more than okay with her. Instead, she just nodded.
He tugged her shirt over her head and locked his arms behind her lower back, gaze narrowed. “Say it.”
“Say what?” She wrinkled her nose at him to cover the eagerness fizzing inside her like over-shaken champagne.
“Say that you want this. That you want me.”
She dug her teeth into her lower lip. “Of course I want you. If I didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.” She slid her fingers into the dark hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his head down to kiss him. “I want you, Simon. Now.”
“So romantic,” he murmured before taking her lips with his.
It took all the willpower she had not to melt into him because yeah. That was exactly the problem. This all felt scarily romantic to her and if she wasn’t careful, she’d start believing in this whole happy home game, and that wasn’t acceptable because this was all make-believe.
Isn’t it?
Their kiss deepened and Alisha turned so Simon’s back was to the bed, then gave him a little push, so he landed on the mattress. She needed to take charge here, to regain some sense of power and control.
Pulse pounding and senses attuned to his every move, his every breath, Alisha slowly stripped down to her bra and panties while Simon watched. There was something about seeing his dilated pupils, hearing the catch of air in his lungs, tasting the salt on his skin, that made this all feel much more intimate and wicked and wonderful. He licked his lips as she climbed over him to straddle him on the bed, then groaned as she slowly slid her hands beneath his T-shirt to remove it, her nails gently scoring the ridges of his taut abs in a way that had them both groaning low.
“You want me too,” she whispered, grinding the heat between her legs against the ridged length of his erection. “Say it.”
“I want you, Alisha.”
A zing went through her at the catch in his voice. Here was this big, strong, gorgeous man completely at her mercy. She tossed his shirt aside, then circled his sensitive nipples with her thumbs and grinned. “What do you want me to do to you?”
He stared up at her, crimson dotting his high cheekbones, his eyes bright with need. “I want you to ride me. I want to feel you come apart around me. I want you to cry out my name as you reach your climax.”
“Hmm.” She teased his chest a little more before reaching down to unbuckle his belt and unzip his fly. “I want that too. But first…”
Alisha took him in hand, loving the velvet and steel of his hardness in her palm, slowly stroking him while watching his reactions. Simon’s head was back now, his eyes closed, as he lost himself in her touch, in the moment. And damn if that ache in her chest didn’t grow stronger, tighter, more tender at the sight. She loved the fact that he trusted her, loved that he gave himself up to what she was doing to him, loved that he allowed himself this with her.
Without thinking, she bent to swipe her tongue over the head of his manhood, tasting the drop of liquid there before taking him into her mouth. Normally she didn’t enjoy this kind of foreplay, but with Simon it all felt new and different and wonderful. She wanted to give him this, found her own pleasure increasing through heightening his.
“Alisha…” he moaned, and a fresh wave of moisture gathered between her legs. His fingers slipped into her hair, not to force her to do anything, but to guide her and show her what he liked best. She pulled away to remove her panties while he kicked off his pants, then she was on him again, positioning herself above him before slowly lowering down onto him, riding him like he’d wanted. Like she wanted, bringing them both maximum pleasure. Until she didn’t know where he ended and she started.
As the tension inside her built and her concerns about her feelings toward
Simon were buried under an avalanche of sensations, Alisha gave herself over to the pleasure as well—to the sounds he was making, the feel of him inside her, filling her so completely. The tenderness swelling inside her became a rising flood. Maybe she did care for Simon more than she was comfortable admitting. Was that so bad? Was that so wrong when he made her feel like this?
Orgasm approached and she threw her caution to the winds. Yes, this could all very well be pregnancy hormones, but what if it wasn’t? What if there was a real bond there between her and Simon? What if he was the one? What if…
Her world exploded into brilliant shards of ecstasy and Alisha cried out, her head thrown back as Simon gently rolled her beneath him, driving hard into her once, twice, before coming hard inside her.
Afterward, they just lay there on the bed, Alisha’s head over Simon’s heart, the steady thump of his pulse lulling her to sleep. At least until he spoke.
* * *
“That was…” Simon said, his voice gravelly and sated. “…wow.”
Alisha rose up to kiss him, then smiled. “Yeah. Wow is right.”
She cuddled up beside him and he closed his eyes for a moment, not to sleep, just to enjoy the peaceful interlude. He liked Alisha. Liked her way more than he cared to admit, if he was honest. And it wasn’t just about the sex either, though that was amazing. Nor was it about the baby, though he was still hopeful that they might be able to raise the child together.
No. It was the weird warmth in his chest, the sudden, surprising need to tell her everything about himself, to open up to her emotionally in a way that he never did with anyone else. First as an orphan and then as a SEAL, he’d learned to bury his feelings deep inside, to deal with them by basically ignoring them. Life was a hell of a lot easier that way.
Tonight, though, for reasons he didn’t want to think about too hard, everything felt different. They’d had sex before, sure, but there’d been a feral edge, a realness to it just now, that had rocked his world. Maybe that was why he held her close, stroking her back with one hand and placing the other on her non-existent baby bump, imagining his bean-sized kid growing in there. Without thinking, he said, “Hope we didn’t keep you awake, kid.”
Alisha snorted. “I doubt they can hear you. From what I’ve read, that doesn’t start until sixteen weeks.”
His ears perked up at that. “You’ve been researching about the baby?”
That had to be a positive sign, right?
She shrugged and burrowed into his side even more. “I’m a journalist. Research is what I do.”
“Hmm.” Simon smiled, the warmth inside him growing stronger. “You know, I never thought I’d have a family either.”
“Yeah?” she said, leaning up to shut off the bedroom light on the nightstand, then snuggling against him again. “Why’s that?”
“I don’t know. I’ve always been a loner, I guess.” He took a deep breath exhaled slowly, his body sinking farther into the mattress as the sense of intimacy between them deepened. “My parents both died when I was sixteen. House fire. The only reason I wasn’t killed too was because I was sleeping over at a friend’s house.” His hand on her back stilled as he lost himself in the past. “I was so angry that I pushed everyone away. And then after a while, I realized that pushing everyone away meant I’d never get too attached—never risk getting hurt that badly again. I filled my life with other things instead, like determination when I tried to help the cops investigate my parents’ deaths.”
“I’m so sorry, Simon,” she said, squeezing his waist a little tighter. “I had no idea that happened.”
“It’s okay. And thanks.” He kissed the top of her head before continuing. “I don’t tell many people about it. Mike knows, and a few other guys on my old SEAL team, but that’s about it.” He sighed. “Anyway, like I said, I threw myself into the investigation back then, even narrowed it down to one guy I really thought had something to do with starting the fire.” An image of his father’s old business partner, Fred Lowell, flashed into his head. His gut tightened with old suspicions and pain. “Of course, by the time I convinced the cops to take my sixteen-year-old self seriously, the business partner was long gone. The company had closed, and he’d left town. Haven’t seen or heard from the guy since. It still makes me angry when I think about it—but in some ways, I think having that investigation to focus on saved me. I was sixteen, alone, and angry. But I didn’t turn to violence, picking fights or getting into trouble. I didn’t turn to drugs or sex. The investigation gave me something to work on. It helped me buckle down, concentrate, keep my act together. It’s what shaped me into the man I am today.”
“Wow.” Alisha looked up at him and smiled, her teeth white in the shadows. “So, you started your superhero career early then?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He chuckled. “You must’ve missed that big S on the centre of my chest.”
“Nope.” She kissed the spot right over his heart. “It’s still there.”
Heat and unexpected tenderness prickled his cheeks and he swallowed hard, focusing on his story again rather than the uncomfortable emotions fizzing through his blood—gratitude, comfort, caring…maybe even something deeper. “Like I was saying, that’s where my sense of justice came from. Once I graduated from high school, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I did know that whatever it was, I wanted to help people. Then a friend took me with him to a recruiting fair and I talked to a couple guys in the Navy and the rest is history. I joined up and worked my way from the bottom up to being a SEAL. Once I was on my team, that was the first time since my parents were alive that I felt like part of a family. Mike and my other best bud, Rick—we’re like brothers. I’d trust them with my life and vice versa.”
She traced her fingertips over his skin, making him shiver in the cooling evening air. “I like learning about what made you the man you are today.” Alisha propped her chin atop her hand resting on his chest and blinked at him in the darkness. “What I don’t understand is how you ended up with your ex.”
“I ask myself the same thing every day.” Simon laughed as she swatted him on the pec.
“I’m serious.”
“Me too.” He leaned up to kiss her forehead, then flopped back down. “Seriously though, it was just one of those things. I left the SEALs so I could expose the truth about the weapons ring. But once the book was written, I realized I was kind of at loose ends. I’d done what I’d set out to do, and I wasn’t sure what came next, you know? It turned out massive success came next—and I wasn’t prepared for it. For a guy who likes his privacy, having that disappear left me feeling even more isolated. I met Laura at an industry event. We hit it off right away. She’d been in the book business longer and had some good advice—and she was really understanding about all the traveling I had to do for my book tour back then. Whenever I was around, we’d get together and have a good time. It was easy, fun. But then when the bulk of the press was over and I was around more, I realized we weren’t very compatible. And then, when I found out she was leveraging my name to try to boost her status in the publishing world, I called it quits. Laura wasn’t ready to let go yet, and she was pissed that I walked out on her. So she hit back in the place she knew would hurt me the worst—my reputation as an author.”
“Bitch,” Alisha murmured.
He grunted. “She did a good job. Went on national TV calling me a plagiarist, saying I hadn’t written my own work. As a nonfiction writer, with books about secrets powerful people want very badly to keep hidden, if I don’t have my credibility, I don’t have anything. Of course there was no evidence to back up any of her claims, but in the court of public opinion, that doesn’t always matter. Once the rumour is out there, it’s hard to kill. In the end, though, I think the hardest part for me to swallow was the realization that the only reason she’d ever been with me was because of my fame and connections. That was all I meant to her.”
“That’s terrible.” Alisha rested her cheek on his chest, her breath raising goose
bumps on his skin. “I’m sorry that happened to you. People suck sometimes.”
“True enough.” He toyed with the ends of her hair. “Present company excluded, obviously.”
He felt her smile rather than saw it. “Obviously.”
They lay in silence for a while, listening to the breeze rustling the leaves of the trees outside the window, until Alisha said, “It’s not that I don’t want a baby. Not really.”
For a second, Simon wondered if he’d heard her correctly, her voice so quiet he’d almost missed it. “What?”
Alisha sighed. “The reason I’ve been so squirrelly about the pregnancy. I mean, I wasn’t in any hurry to have a kid, don’t get me wrong. But my biggest fear is that I won’t be any good at it. I don’t think I’ll be a good mother.”
His heart broke at the catch in her voice, the edge of fear underlying it. With her pressed tight to his side, he felt her pulse racing and he stroked her hair to soothe her. “Why would you think that? You’ve been great with little Amy so far.”
She scoffed. “Right. All I did was Google some stuff. You did the bath and all.”
“You helped.”
She shrugged. “I didn’t have a very good role model growing up. My mom was gone mostly.”
Simon remembered Mike telling him about his childhood. He knew the siblings been raised by a single mother who’d worked long hours in a demanding profession. Mike hadn’t complained about it, but then everyone’s experience was different. He waited for her to continue, not wanting to press her.
“I wished she was around more, you know?” Alisha said at last, as if she was working through things while talking. “I wanted more. I wanted her to be there when I got home from school, to cook dinners, to sit around and have talks with me about life and love and the future and stuff, like I’d see in the shows on TV. But I never got that. I never felt supported.”
Guarding His Fake Family Page 9
