by Maddie James
James exploded. “Hell, yes, it’s mine!” He punched the fender of the truck, and headed for the passenger side door and got in, slamming it. “Let’s go, Sam!” he shouted.
Sam joined him in the cab, started the truck and headed down the hill toward the house. Finally, he said, “You offer to marry her?”
“Yeah, I did. Of course. Well, I didn’t offer. I told her we would.”
“And what did she say?”
Sam kept staring straight ahead. James turned to look out his window. “She said no. She won’t marry me.”
Sam chewed on that a moment. “She’s got her pride.”
“Pride!” James twisted in the seat. “What the hell does pride have to do with it? She’s pregnant no matter what, with or without a husband. Where does pride come in when she’s raising a baby on her own? My baby? I don’t know what she is thinking.”
He looked back out the window to his right. Sam kept driving. Soon, they reached the barn and pulled up out back. They both exited and headed inside.
“James, one second.”
James knew his friend had his best interest in mind, but he wasn’t sure he could talk about this any longer. He had turned it over internally for days, calling himself every kind of fool for getting himself—and Liz—into this predicament. And with Claire not even in the grave a year yet. How would his kids handle this? That worried him most. The conversation he’d had with Callie not long ago haunted him.
“Look, Sam. I’ve twisted this thing every which way but loose for days, over and over. I just don’t know what to do. I’ve told her I’d marry her. I’ve tried to call her and even stopped by to see her in person, but she refuses. And if she did marry me, it’s probably a solution to one problem and maybe the start of others. I just don’t know.”
Sam studied him. “I’m sure you are right. This is not an easy decision, one way or the other. There are consequences either way, I suppose.”
“She’s not raising my child without me. I won’t have it.”
“You told her that?”
“I did. So she might as well just give in and marry me.”
Sam stepped back, eyeing him. “So when you told her, you didn’t go all rough stock cowboy on her, did you? Some women just don’t respond well to that kind of—”
“I simply told her we’d marry, Sam. What else was I to do?”
“Propose?”
“What?”
“You told her you’d marry her. You’ve said that twice now. Told her. Did you ever think about simply proposing? Asking for her hand in marriage in a romantic way? Women like that kind of shit, you know. Ever think of that?”
James stared at Sam, dumbfounded. No, he hadn’t thought of that, at all.
****
James knew what he had to do, but before he could do it, there was something else that needed his attention. He wasn’t sure which task would be easier—proposing to Liz, or telling Callie and Parker what he was about to do.
Not that proposing to Liz was a task. Not in the least. The thought of an actual proposal had warmed his heart and made him excited at the prospect of their future together. He could only hope that Liz’s heart would take a turn and agree.
But first—
“Callie? Parker!” Standing at the foot of the stairs, James called up. “Need to talk to you two for a moment.”
Parker bounded down the stairs first, followed by a slow-moving Callie. James watched her take one step at a time and then roll her eyes as she came eye-level with him and grinned. “What did I do now, Daddy?”
He smiled. “Nothing, punkin’. I just need to talk to you guys. Ask you something, actually.”
“Hm.” Callie skipped down the last few steps and headed through the kitchen.
“Head on into the great room.” He followed her in and sat in his chair. Both his children sat on the sofa facing him.
“What’s up, Dad?”
James cleared his throat. “I have something important to ask the two of you.”
“Oh?” Callie tipped her head to the side.
“Yes.” He exhaled, an act he hoped would settle his nerves. Leaning forward, he made a tent with his hands and fingers, his elbows on his knees. Nervously, he tapped his fingers together.
“Kids, please hear me out before you interrupt me. Okay?”
They both fixed their gazes on him and nodded. He sure as hell hoped they would let him say his piece before getting upset. Especially, he worried about Callie.
“You both know I loved your mama more than my own life. I know that she’s only been going about half a year by now but—”
“But you and Liz are getting married, aren’t you, Dad.” James turned his direction toward his son. Parker, who for all of these months had not given him one iota of trouble, and who hadn’t weighed in at all about him dating Liz, had spoken up.
He nodded, then looked from Parker to Callie. “I’m asking for your permission to ask Liz to marry me. I’ve not proposed to her and I would like to, but I need your blessing. I won’t do it if either of you tells me you don’t want me to.”
Silence. He watched his daughter stare ahead, and then turn to her left to look at her older brother. Parker gave her a quick glance, then back to his father and said, “Do you love her, Dad?”
James dipped his head. “I do. It wasn’t something I expected to happen this soon, or rather, at all. I really didn’t go looking to date someone or to fall in love. Liz is a friend of Sam’s and it just happened. You know that—”
Callie interrupted. “Do you love her like you loved Mommy?”
James looked straight into Callie’s eyes. “No, honey. I will never love anyone like I loved your mama. She will always be special in my heart and in yours and Parker’s. That love is only reserved for the four of us and no one will ever take that away.”
“But you still love Liz.”
“I do. I love her a different way.”
“In a Liz way.”
“I guess you could say that.”
Callie thought on that. James waited. But it was Parker who spoke up again next. “I have questions, Dad.”
James leaned forward. “Then ask them. Now is the time for us to talk about this.”
Parker nodded. “All right. Will Liz move here? What about her son, Brody? I suppose if she comes, he will too. Does that make us all family? Do I have to share a room with him?”
James exhaled. “That’s a lot of questions but let me see how I do answering them.” He watched Parker but also noticed Callie’s interest and that she was hanging on every word.
“I haven’t discussed any of this with Liz yet, but I am assuming she would move to the ranch. So yes, she would live here with us, in this house, of course. Brody, too. As to sharing a room, no. We’ll figure something out. You’re pushing seventeen and deserve space of your own, Parker. You’ll not have to share.”
“That Brody ain’t staying with me!” Callie piped up.
James laughed. “No, Callie. Brody won’t be sharing your room either. Don’t you worry about that.”
Another wave of silence hung over the three of them. Finally, James said, “So, what do you think? I know there will be some getting used to. We’ll have to figure some things out and it will all be new to Liz and Brody, too. There will be adjustments. But we can work through it, right? And heck, it might be fun, even.”
“I’m still deciding in my head if it’s okay,” Callie said.
Parker stared at her then looked to James. “Will it make you happy, Dad, to marry her?”
Something clutched in his chest as he took in Parker’s question. Suddenly the boy seemed more like a young man. Hell, he was. “Yes, son. It would make me very happy. I’ve been lonely without your mama. You’ll find out one day that a man needs a woman beside him. No one will ever replace your mama, of course, but it would be nice to be happy again.”
Parker studied him. “Then I say it’s all right with me.”
Bless you, son. He nodde
d. “Thank you, Parker.”
“I’m still thinking…” Callie said. She glanced to her left again when Parker gave her shoulder a nudge. “What?”
“It’s okay, Callie. We can handle this. It will make Dad happy.”
Callie turned to her father, a slow grin spreading over her face. “I want you to be happy again, Daddy. ‘Cause when you are happy, I am happy. It’s okay with me, too.”
James closed his eyes and felt his shoulders fall. In the next instant, both Callie and Parker were on either side of him, and he reached around to pull them close. He might have even shed a tear while they weren’t looking.
****
The next day, James stood in front of Montana West Fly-Fishing Outfitters looking up at the sign in front on the building. This could all go very, very wrong—or it could go very, very right. Either way, he had to get on with it.
Pushing in the double glass doors, he stepped across the lobby of the fly-fishing establishment. A few people mingled about—more people than he had anticipated at this time of day—likely waiting for their guide to take them out, or for some direction to the best places to fish. He wasn’t interested in fishing—unless one could call reeling in Liz, fishing.
He spied her behind the counter talking with a customer. They were busy. Hell, this is a bad time. He shifted the bouquet of roses in his hands and nervously sidestepped a customer turning to leave. Focused on Liz, he watched as she pulled out a map and drew on it with a yellow highlighter. He could hear her voice but didn’t comprehend a single word she said.
She looked so pretty standing there. Her hair shimmered with the sunlight streaming in from the window. He stepped closer to the counter and watched her full lips move as she spoke, and her blue eyes dart back and forth from the map to her customer. She was intent on her task, and James could tell she was good at what she was doing.
Sam had said she was good at her job, and Liz had indicated to him on more than one occasion that she took much pleasure in helping people discover the area that she loved so much.
There is the mother of my child.
He loved her. His heart swelled in his chest as he watched her. So mesmerized, he didn’t notice anyone else coming through the door, and he was quickly shuffled aside as they approached the counter.
He had to wonder how pitiful he looked, standing there staring at her, heartsick, with a bunch of roses in his hand. Pining away for the woman he loved. A woman who was not giving him one bit of attention and had no clue he was even in the room.
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to jump ahead of you.”
He looked to the younger man, who was now stepping back. “No,” James said. “I mean, thank you. I’m not here to fish. I’m here….”
What the hell am I doing here? This is a mistake. I should have done this another way.
He turned to leave.
“James?”
Liz.
He swiveled back and leveled his gaze on her. She had stepped to the end of the counter, closer to him now. All he could do was look at her.
“James?” she repeated, a curious look on her face.
He breathed. Finally. “Liz. You’re busy. I should come back. When would be a good time?”
She ignored his question. “James, are those roses for me?” Her eyes were full of question and probable expectation.
His heart was full of hope.
He glanced about the lobby. Suddenly everyone’s gazes—the customers in front of the counter and Liz’s co-workers behind it—were on the two of them. He turned back to Liz. Reaching for her hand, he pulled her around the counter to stand fully in front of him.
“Yes, Liz,” he said softly. “These roses are for you. I remembered you liked the last bunch I gave you.” He handed them to her.
She gathered them in her hands and brought them to her nose. “They smell wonderful.”
Her lashes fluttered as she looked up at him. His heart leapt. Then he got down on one knee. A collective gasp rippled throughout the room.
Liz set the roses on the counter. James took both her hands in his.
“Liz Caldera,” he began, “I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but in that short time I have come to love you with all of my heart. I don’t want to spend another day away from you. I want to spend all of our days and nights together, for the rest of our lives.” He cleared his throat and stared into Liz’s eyes—eyes that were tearing up.
“Liz, will you marry me?”
Oh please, God, do not let her say no.
He watched a tear race down her cheek and settle near the corner of her mouth. “You love me? Truly?” she asked.
“With all of my heart.”
“James…”
“Liz. Please. I’m asking, not telling. Marry me?”
She gripped his hands, and then James remembered the ring. He reached into his pocket, pulled out the small black velvet box and flipped open the lid. He’d been to Billings and back yesterday and bought the biggest damn diamond he could find.
Liz gasped. “Oh my.”
“Yeah, it’s big and flashy,” he said, “but it still can’t measure up to how big my love is for you, darlin’.”
Liz blinked. “Yes.”
James stood. “What?”
“I said, ‘yes.’ Yes, James, I will marry you. I’ve missed you so much.”
James felt his chest might crack open with the joy, considering the happiness that was spilling over inside him. With a cowboy whoop! he grabbed Liz around the waist and swept her up in his arms, swinging her around. Suddenly, a cheer and clapping went up around them.
He set her down, looked deep into Liz’s eyes, and whispered. “I love you, Liz Mercer Caldera. Nothing will change that. Ever. I will take care of you and ours. And there is nothing else in the world I want more.”
Liz’s tears spilled over. “James. I’ve loved you right from the beginning.”
James didn’t waste another minute and slipped that big flashy ring on Liz’s finger.
Chapter Eight
Liz McKenna
The Ranch House
Soon after the hayride, reality had hit full force, as hard as a charging bull, and Liz had been as scared as a cowboy climbing aboard a fifteen hundred pound bull. She was pregnant. She would raise two children alone. As much as she wanted to “cowboy up,” she wrestled with her growing panic.
But pride made her hold it in. What little self-respect she had left caused her to avoid James McKenna—until the day he marched into the shop carrying a bunch of red roses and got down on his knees. That day she didn’t think. She only reacted. She said “yes.”
Things happened quickly after that. James had already told his kids, gotten their permission even. Later in the day, they told Brody. He’d been silent a good long while. That had scared her about as much as the long weeks of separation from James.
Until Brody asked, “Do you think you have a spare horse on the ranch I can ride, Mr. McKenna?”
“Yes, son. I have several that might fit you just fine,” James had told him.
“Okay, then. It’s okay with me.”
Liz had showered her son with her happiness, hugging him and kissing him until he’d pushed her away.
“Aw, Mom. Don’t be doing that in front of those other kids.”
With Brody on board, Liz knew everything would be fine. She and James would somehow make everything all right. She prayed she’d be able to cope with the ups and downs of a blended family.
It had already been difficult. With her hand in James’ hand, they had wed in a small civil ceremony. They had honeymooned a few days down in Jackson Hole. Then she’d packed up her belongings and moved them to the farm.
Her furniture didn’t fit in a house that already was crowded with Parker antiques and McKenna family furniture. She’d been reluctant to change anything, fearing the ghost of Claire McKenna and the sometimes-haunted stare of little Callie.
“We can work through it,” James often said wh
en a problem arose.
Parker had been the first to compromise by moving into the empty room above one of the barns. It gave him the space he needed. Callie had kept her room, and when they’d tried to give Brody the guest room, he’d balked.
“I’ll take that room in the attic. You need the guest room for the baby,” her son had said.
All the kids knew about the baby. It was pretty damn obvious because she was a tall, thin woman and the baby bump showed pretty fast during her second pregnancy. The kids didn’t seem to mind. Even Callie hoped for a girl so she wouldn’t be the only female in the family. She had even promised to babysit. Liz wasn’t sure just how long that would last.
Today, for the first time, she was alone in the house. The kids were in school and James was working with Sam on the ranch. Weak December sunlight filtered through the guest room window. Liz stood in the middle of the floor considering the double bed with the knotty pine headboard. A patchwork quilt that looked handmade covered it. Probably an heirloom of some sort. Not suitable for a growing child.
She would get James and the boys to take down the bed and store it. She’d fold up the quilt and put it away. Then she’d have space to transform this guest room into a nursery. They needed to buy a crib. Maybe one of those new ones that could be converted into a toddler bed. Would James buy her a changing table? She’d seen them in catalogs. When the child no longer needed it, the changing topper lifted off to create a dresser. That would be practical. Surely James would agree.
But there was one item in the guest room Liz knew she would be able to use. It was a Windsor-style rocker. She wanted to paint it white, because she envisioned the whole room in white—white furniture, frilly white and pink curtains and crib accessories. She wanted a girl. With her whole heart, she longed for a girl.
Suddenly she knew what the room also needed.
Liz scurried into the master bedroom, her one place of solace with James that was off limits to the kids. She’d thrown her mother’s handmade afghan over one of the easy chairs. Now she snatched it up and carried it back to the guest room.
Although the afghan was knitted with blue and black wool, she wanted it in her baby’s nursery. It was only fitting that a piece of her mother should be here with her, comforting her through her own trials as a second-time mother.
