I ran a hand down the side of my face as I watched him and tried to figure out what the fuck I did again to cause the sudden silence between us. “What are you thinking, Gabriel?”
His eyes flashed to mine, confusion furrowed his brow. “I’m just not used to this…”
“Not used to what?” Please just tell me, so I can make it right.
“Just… this,” he waved his hand back and forth between us. “Most men I see only want me behind closed doors. I’m too flashy and odd for them and they let other people’s opinions decide their actions. And yet, here you are, showing me off in front of God and everyone without a care in the world about what people think.” Gabriel looked at me incredulously and continued. “And when you said that you wanted to watch Sex and the City, even though you hate girlie shows, but you wanted to just because I told you it was my favorite show…” He hesitated and looked down at his plate. “That meant something to me. As ridiculous and simple as it sounds, it did.”
Reaching across the table, I grabbed his hand. “Look at me, Princess.” When he locked eyes with me, I continued, “First of all, those men are fucking idiots if they couldn’t see what they had in front of them and let you go. That’s a mistake that I refuse to make. Second, I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of me. I am who I am. Of course I want to show you off to everybody.” Gabriel playfully scoffed, but his eyes never left mine. “As for Sex and the City and any other show you like, it doesn’t matter what the hell it is, I’ll sit down proudly to watch it just as long as you are there with me.”
Uncertainty wavered in his beautiful eyes. I could tell that he wasn’t sure whether to believe me or not. That was fine, I’d just have to prove to him that I wasn’t like everyone else.
We talked a lot through the rest of dinner. I discovered that Gabriel had an older brother named Zach, who was also the attractive man I had seen at his performance, which made me inwardly grin. Looks like I didn’t have to kick that man’s ass after all. Gabriel went on to tell me about his friend Melissa, who battled his sassy attitude with her clever sarcasm, so they were a perfect fit. When it came to relationships, Gabriel said that he had only had one; but it didn’t last long because the man he had been with was too much of a fucking coward to stand up against the homophobes in the town.
He also told me that his mother was the inspiration behind him taking cello lessons, and how she had passed away when he was younger.
“I miss her every day. There are times when something funny happens and I want to tell her about it, just to remember that I can’t.” His eyes grew sad as he moved his food around on his plate. I hated seeing him like that. From what he told me about her, his mother sounded like a very lovely woman. She had accepted him and loved him unconditionally, unlike my own sorry excuse for a mother. “This Wednesday will mark six years since she’s been gone. It’s become tradition for my dad, brother, and I to all go out to her grave to see her on that day and remember her… not like any of us could ever forget her.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss. I’m sure it’s not easy, even after all these years.” I grabbed his hand and stroked his knuckles with my thumb, trying to comfort him. Everything was confusing to me, all of these feelings I was having for Gabriel. I had never comforted anyone in my life, but it just seemed so natural for me to do it with him.
“Thank you, Michael.” I loved hearing my name leave his lips. “What about you? Are you close with your mother?”
I clenched my jaw. “Not particularly. She died when I was younger as well. We were never close, though.” I wasn’t going to give him the details about my fucked up relationship with my mother. At least not yet, anyway.
I listened intently as Gabriel continued to talk, loving the way his voice flowed, so melodic and spellbinding. I could listen to him talk for hours, and probably even longer. A spark of excitement ignited in his exquisite blue eyes when he spoke of his family and his job as a beautician, and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole; I just kept falling deeper and deeper. The more time I spent with him, the more I sensed myself being put under his spell.
If this was a dream, I never wanted to awaken.
Chapter Twelve
Gabriel
When I got nervous or excited, I blabbed. A lot. And seeing as I was both a little nervous, and extremely excited, I’m sure Michael was ready to put a muzzle on me. He and I talked a lot. I asked him a lot of questions, which he answered in a rather reserved way. But he still answered them, and that was a great start.
Just like the last time I saw him, Michael did crazy things to my head. He treated me like I’ve never been treated. For one thing, the restaurant he took me to was way too fancy. I mean, fancy was my life, and I considered myself at home with all things extravagant and glamorous. But a man had never gone out of his way to do anything special for me. Not like Michael.
When I finally reached the point where I couldn’t eat another bite, I put down my fork and dabbed at my face with my napkin before setting it down on the almost-empty plate.
“I think I’m going to die. I’m so stuffed,” I groaned.
“So, no room for dessert then?” Michael smirked at me and caused my dick to jerk. Oh, I can definitely think of a dessert that would be perfect. I kept that to myself, though.
“Can I get you two anything else? Some more wine, perhaps?” Jackson, our waiter, asked as he stood by our table. For about the millionth time that night, I wanted to ask him if he had grown up in Mulberry, Arkansas. There was only one other time I had ever heard the name Jackson before and it was when the rumors about the gay boy at school were circulating all over town. He was the boy who had been kicked out of his parents’ house and no one ever knew what had become of him. If this waiter was him, it would mean that Jackson was okay. I wasn’t sure why I cared so much, but I did. I loved happily ever afters.
“No, we are fine. Just the check, please,” Michael answered him without taking his gaze off of me. Jackson turned and left to get our check, and I glanced around the restaurant. Michael and I were the last ones there, aside from the staff. We had been there for hours talking and enjoying each other’s company and time had flown by in a flash.
I didn’t want the night to end yet.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to get my half of the bill?” I mentally calculated the amount of money I had in my purse. Maybe it would be enough.
“No.” His answer was automatic. “I invited you to dinner, so I pay.”
“How did you even know I would come? You already had the reservation made before I agreed.”
“I had faith that you would.” His dark green eyes were intense as they watched me. “I know that since Saturday, I have done nothing but think about you and I hoped that I had that same effect on you, too.”
“You have,” I admitted.
“Here you go. I’ll be back in a minute to collect it. I hope you two have a great night.” Jackson placed the check on the table and walked off.
I tilted my head to try and see how much the cost was, but Michael snatched it up before I could see. Smooth move there, Mr. Big.
After he paid and left a tip on the table, we got up and walked out to his car. For some reason, I was feeling nervous again. There were so many thoughts running through my head that I didn’t know how to sort them all out. Should I invite Michael inside once we got to my house? Would he stay the night this time? Did I want him to?
The night air chilled my skin so I pulled my jacket tighter against me and took a deep breath. I really needed to clear my head. Michael opened my door for me, like he always did, and shut it once I was inside. He slid into the driver’s seat and started the engine, and I couldn’t control myself anymore. With all of those emotions bubbling inside of me, I needed to express the one that was the most intense. Lunging at him before he took the car out of park, I grabbed his head and began kissing him. He inhaled a sharp breath and froze. I noticed that his lips were unmoving against mine. Opening my eyes, I saw th
at he looked shocked and I instantly felt stupid.
Rejection.
My heart was racing and I felt heat begin to creep into my cheeks. When I started to pull away, Michael clutched onto my jacket and gently brought my mouth back to his. He swirled his tongue slowly along my bottom lip, causing a shudder to go throughout my body. Careful not to get my shoe caught in the steering wheel, I straddled his waist without breaking our lip-lock and started rolling my hips in tiny circles against the rapidly forming bulge in his pants. Groaning, his hands moved from my jacket and down to my ass as our mouths moved against each other in an unhurried rhythm.
“Fuck, Gabriel. What are you doing to me?” He asked in a breathless voice as he broke away from our kiss and buried his face in my neck.
Anyone could have seen us, since we were still in the parking lot of the restaurant, but I didn’t care. I leaned my head back as he nipped and kissed at my throat, my hips still continuing to move in circles on him. He tightened his grip on my ass and guided me up and down, rubbing us harder against each other. I gasped as he pulled me down hard against him and thrust his hips upward. “Ah!”
“I need you, Angel,” Michael spoke against my throat as I grinded on him.
“Then take me,” I whispered as I leaned my head forward and brushed my mouth softly against his parted lips.
He growled. I loved when he did that. It was so damn sexy and caused my arousal to stir even more. My dick stiffened and the tightness of my skinny jeans made it difficult to adjust myself. Damn jeans.
Placing my hands on his chest, I began running my fingers along the muscles hidden beneath his shirt. Michael stopped kissing me unexpectedly and clutched his hands around my wrists. Tightly. He pushed me away from him suddenly, causing me to fall sideways and land between the seat and dashboard.
“What the hell, Michael!” I yelled a little too loudly in the small space of the car, and tried to sit back up. The heel of my shoe had gotten caught on the steering wheel when I fell. I’m sure this would have been an almost funny situation if I wasn’t so pissed off and confused.
Michael reached to help me, but I kicked him away with my untangled leg, almost kneeing him in the face. “No, don’t touch me!”
He blinked a few times as he took deep breaths. “I… I’m so sorry, Gabriel…”
“You should be! What the fuck was that for?” I finally straightened myself up and removed my trapped foot from the steering wheel. I scooted as far away from him as the seat would allow and was almost tempted to open the door and walk my fabulous ass home. The look in Michael’s eyes stopped me.
He looked like a man on fire, burning from the inside out.
“Michael, talk to me. Why the hell do you push me away when I try to touch you?”
He didn’t answer me and continued looking straight ahead, as if he was somewhere else.
“Dammit, answer me! Why-”
“Because I’m fucked up, Gabriel,” he roared as he turned to look at me, his eyes were blazing. Fear seized me. When I cowered away from him, his expression softened and he looked like the burning man once again. “I’m so fucked up,” he murmured and placed his face in his hands.
My heart broke for him. Even through the vast confusion and hurt I felt at his actions, there was vulnerability in his green eyes that made me realize something unspeakable must have happened to him during some point in his life. There had also been a flash of fear and panic I had seen in his eyes, if only briefly, when he pushed me away.
Michael removed his hands from his face and regarded me with a tortured gaze in his green eyes. “I’ll take you home.”
Without another word, he put the car in drive and pulled out of the parking lot. The silence was deafening between us as he drove me home. I had never been put in a situation like this, so the appropriate words completely failed me. Honestly, I should still be fuming with the way he treated me; pushing me away like he did. Every instinct I had was telling me to stay away from him. My inner bitch was screaming at me to run away from Michael as fast as my high-heeled feet could take me.
But, my heart was telling me something else.
I knew it was too soon to say I felt anything remotely close to love for Michael Kingston. The connection I felt with him was undeniable, though. Whether it was love or just lust, it was strong and couldn’t be ignored.
When we arrived at my apartment building, I opened the door, but didn’t get out. Turning back toward him, he was staring at the steering wheel and I could tell that his hands were gripping it tightly.
“Michael, I…” I really didn’t know what to say.
“Gabriel,” He shifted his dark eyes to me. “Tonight was a mistake. I’m sorry. I’m not right for you. You won’t be hearing from me again.”
That did it. I was pissed to high heaven. I slammed my door shut and spun in my seat to glare at him.
“Don’t give me that crap! I can make up my own damn mind of whether I want to see you again or not. I’m a grown ass man, not some child who needs to be coddled,” I snapped. He stared at me disbelievingly. “Look, I don’t know what the hell is going on with you. The only thing I do know is that I really like you. I had an amazing time tonight. Well, except for the part where I was thrown around like a rag doll.”
Michael looked away, ashamed. “You have no idea how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
“Then you can make it up to me,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
“How?” His eyes were pleading as he focused his gaze on me.
“Come inside.”
Chapter Thirteen
Michael
I was at a crossroads. With the way I behaved toward Gabriel, he should have already been stomping his sexy ass up the stairs and slamming his front door without another word to me. Instead, he was still sitting in the passenger seat and had just asked me to go up to his apartment with him.
When I pushed him away from me earlier, my heart stopped and I experienced a self-loathing like never before. I really was a beast. He deserved better than me. When he touched my chest, all of the memories I tried to forget came rushing back to me.
“I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” I finally responded. His face fell at my words and I had to bite my tongue from giving in to him.
“Not a good idea for me, or for you?” His tone was biting and he narrowed his eyes.
“For both of us.” I tried to make my voice as neutral as possible, even though the idea of leaving him sent a pain through my chest.
“You’re a bad liar.”
My eyes flashed to his. He had his eyebrows raised and was giving me a sassy look.
“I’m not good for you, Princess.” I shook my head. “The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can go our separate ways.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” All of the sass was gone from him, and in its place was a strong sense of determination. I was astonished. He really wanted to give me a chance, even after what I did.
“Gabriel…” I hesitated as I tried to find the right words. “I wasn’t lying when I said I was fucked up. I have never been in a relationship because there are things about me that most people wouldn’t understand. Or accept.” I moved my gaze from him and stared at my clutched hands on the steering wheel. “Once you get to know the real me, you may not like what you find.”
Soft hands reached out and turned my head to look into the most haunting pair of eyes I ever beheld. Gabriel caressed my cheek then moved his hand down and stopped at my mouth, rubbing his thumb over the pad of my bottom lip. His beautiful eyes were focused on me with such intensity that I felt like they were staring directly into my soul.
“Show me the real you, Michael.”
“I can’t. Not right now, at least. It will take some time.” I kissed his thumb and grabbed his hand with mine. My decision was made. All sense of willpower disappeared when I was around him and I couldn’t stay away. But I would have left and never returned, if he would
have asked it of me. “Do you still want me to come in?”
“Yes.” He answered automatically.
I parked my car and we walked up to his apartment in silence. He flicked on the light when we entered his home and I stood by the door, not really knowing what to do. Being a lawyer, every move I usually made was carefully calculated and I was always sure of myself. But all of that went out the window as I stood in Gabriel’s apartment with my hands in my pockets, looking like a lost puppy.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Gabriel opened up his refrigerator and bent down as he stuck his head inside to look. “I have a few beers, tea, or water.” His ass looked amazing in those tight, skinny jeans as he bent over, making me want to pounce on him. He stood up and looked back at me with a questioning look.
“Water is good. Thanks.” I moved from the door and walked the small distance to his living room. There were cheetah print pillows decorating the light brown couch, with one purple pillow in the center. What was it with him and purple? It was everywhere.
“Here you go.” Gabriel walked in and set a glass of water down on a purple coaster on the coffee table in front of me. He took a seat on the couch and crossed his legs as he sipped on his own glass of water.
“Thanks.” I gave a small smile and took a seat beside him. “So, have you always lived here in Fort Smith?” I made an attempt for small-talk. I really wanted to know more about him, and that was one question I didn’t ask at dinner.
“No, I’m from a smaller town that’s about an hour away from here called Mulberry. After I graduated high school there, I moved here for college and got my Cosmetology license.” Gabriel took a sip of his water, and then set it down on the table. “I never want to go back there. That entire town is just filled with intolerant assholes. Not much different than this one. But it was worse, if you can believe it. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.”
I had a sudden urge to go to that town and track down anyone who had ever hurt him. By the look in his eyes when he spoke of the town, I could tell that he had been treated badly and it pissed me off. Did those people not see how special he was?
Michael's Awakening Page 8
