Self-consciously, I gave them a smile and a curt nod of my head. What the fuck should I say? “The food smells great. Would you like me to help with anything?” I asked.
“Oh, nonsense,” David answered with a wave of his hand. “You’re a guest in this house. You boys go ahead and have a seat at the table and Zach and I will bring the food.”
“Dad, I don’t mind helping,” Gabriel told him. “At least let me set the table. Zach never does it right”
“Fine, fine.” David chuckled as Zach sneered.
Gabriel turned to me with a wink. “Want to help?”
“Of course.” I smiled and let him lead the way.
After the table was set and the food was steaming in front of us, we all sat down together to eat. David was at the head of the table and Zach was at the other end, with me and Gabriel in the middle sitting across from each other. Since Gabriel was a vegetarian, he didn’t eat any turkey or ham, but there were dishes his father had specially made for him, such as sweet potato casserole with almonds and roasted garlic brussel sprouts.
“So, Michael,” David spoke after we began eating. “Gabe here tells me that you practice law?”
“Yes, sir.” I nodded. “I’m a prosecuting attorney.”
“Very impressive. I bet that job is very rewarding.”
“It is,” I agreed. “However, sometimes there isn’t enough physical evidence for a conviction, even though it’s obvious the person is guilty. So, they get away. Or there was an error committed somewhere within the arresting process and they get released on a technicality. Although rewarding, it can also be infuriating at times.” I took a sip of water and looked across the table at Gabriel.
He and Zach were narrowing their eyes at each other and I saw a pea fly across my line of vision, followed by a sliced carrot.
“Zachary Thomas Greyson,” David said, exasperated. “This is the dinner table, not a circus. Stop throwing food.”
Gabriel almost spewed the drink he had just taken all over the table when Zach got in trouble.
“That goes for you too, Gabriel Andrew,” his father said, causing my lips to twitch.
Andrew was his middle name? I loved it.
“Are they always like this?” I asked David with an amused shake of my head.
“You haven’t seen anything yet, trust me. Just wait until Christmas,” David answered, all irritation washed from his face and in its place was nothing but delight. I saw the love he held for his sons and it tugged at my heart. What would my life had been like if my own father had stayed around and loved me like that?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dad, I’m a freaking angel,” Gabriel said with a dramatic roll of his eyes, causing his father to chuckle.
“Yeah, Lucifer was an angel once, and look what happened to him,” Zach countered with a dimpled grin. “I think that halo you have, little bro, may be held up with some horns.”
“You’re just jealous of my fabulousness.”
I sat back and listened to them talk through the remainder of dinner and answered questions when I was asked. Whenever I was silent for too long, David or Zach would ask me something, as if trying to make me feel more included. It felt odd. I had never been in a family setting such as that, so everything was new for me.
It was nice.
Gabriel’s family had welcomed me into their home with such care and friendliness that it puzzled me. It was obvious that I had worried myself sick over the meeting for nothing.
After dinner, I helped Gabriel clear the table and walked over to place the dishes in the sink. A smile lit my face, as well as his, as we stood side-by-side to wash dishes.
“What are you boys doing?” David’s voice startled both of us, causing Gabriel to drop the dish he was washing back into the soapy water with a clunk. “Y’all don’t need to wash up. I can do that later. Come have a seat with us in the living room.”
Gabriel and I looked at each other and smiled before wiping off our hands and following David into the other room. Zach had just placed another log on the fire and then took a seat in one of the Victorian-styled chairs. The fire crackled and popped as the warmth from it spread and filled the small room.
“Hey, Gabe,” Zach spoke tensely and stood back up once he saw us enter the room. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Gabriel creased his brow in confusion, but nodded his head. “Yeah, sure.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and walked off with his brother. I watched him walk away and my heart sank as the warmth he created vanished.
My hands were in my pockets as I looked around, not knowing what to do.
“Michael, please have a seat,” David said and motioned toward one of the chairs.
I obliged and sat down. “Thank you.”
“Fancy chairs, huh?” The lines around David’s eyes creased as he smiled. “They were Elizabeth’s, my wife. She loved the Victorian era and lived for antiques. She was always dragging me to antique shops and garage sales, trying to add to her collection.” He patted the arm of the chair he was sitting in as a sad smile appeared on his face. “After she died, I didn’t have the heart to get rid of ‘em.”
“Gabriel has spoken very highly of her. She sounds like an extraordinary woman and you have my condolences.” After I spoke, we sat and watched the fire for a few minutes, both of us in deep contemplation.
David broke the silence. “Gabriel is a lot like Elizabeth, in both their attitudes as well as actions. She passed her love for the cello down to him when he was just a boy. I needed a pair of earplugs when she first started teaching him how to play.” He chuckled at the memory. “But she was so patient with him, and told him that he could be whatever he wanted to be and do whatever he wanted to do. The sky was the limit.”
“Well, you definitely don’t need earplugs now,” I said with a small grin.
David beamed. “No, I don’t. I couldn’t be any prouder of that boy.” His smile faltered a little. “When my wife had passed away, I had moments where I thought being a single father to two growing boys was just too hard. Especially with one of them being different. I didn’t know how to handle Gabriel at first. When Elizabeth was alive, she supported Gabe completely and told him to follow his heart and not change for anybody. She even took him clothes shopping and let him buy clothes from both the girls and boys departments, as well as buying him makeup and other girlie products. When she left, I wanted him to be normal. Growing up in a small, country town where everyone is set in a certain way of living can be challenging on a boy like him.” He looked at the fire and took a deep breath. “I was terrified, to be honest. I wanted him to change, not because I didn’t love him… but because I do. People didn’t understand him and I knew that he would be bullied and that just tore me up inside. I didn’t want my boy to have to endure that kind of hatred. And when his hormones kicked in full-swing, I was at a loss on how to act. Thankfully, those thoughts didn’t sit long with me. Being a parent, you accept and love your child no matter what. So I did. It wasn’t easy, but I honestly wouldn’t want him any other way than how he is now.”
From the other room, I heard Gabriel squeal and my lips curved up in a smile. What the hell was going on in there? David looked at me, obviously thinking the same thing. We both started laughing and shook our heads.
After sitting quietly for a few more minutes, David started talking again about his wife. “When I first met Elizabeth, she was a member of the Fort Smith Symphony and I had never seen anyone more beautiful in my life. It didn’t matter that she was in a group of other performers on that stage, she was all I saw.” His eyes misted over as he talked. I knew the exact feeling he was describing, I had been the same way when I first laid eyes on Gabriel.
He continued. “We fell in love quickly and all of our friends told us that it wouldn’t last, that we were too young and that it was too soon. We didn’t listen to our friends and thank the good Lord for that.” David’s blue eyes shifted to me and he regarded me with a thoughtful expres
sion. “When it’s true love, though, time is not an element. There is no scientific formula for love, it is a thing of mystery that has astounded even the brightest of minds throughout the course of history.” I held his gaze, unsure of exactly what he was trying to tell me. “Michael, I can see the love in my son’s eyes when he looks at you. He stares at you the same way my Elizabeth stared at me. I have also seen that same look in your eyes when you watch him. I know you two haven’t been together long, but don’t let what is considered reasonable get in the way. And definitely don’t let bigoted people come between you two. Love is too precious a gift to be thrown away.”
I was unable to speak for a moment as his words registered inside my head. He was giving Gabriel and me his blessing to be together. “Thank you, David,” I finally uttered. “I love Gabriel more than I could ever express with words. He is everything to me.”
“Then you keep him safe.” He eyed me.
“I will,” I promised, and I meant it.
I would do everything in my power to keep my angel safe.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gabriel
Following behind Zach, curiosity swam through me. What was it that he wanted to talk about? Entering a room that Dad made into a library/study, Zach swiftly pivoted on his heels and turned to me, making me almost bump into him.
“Umm, more warning would be nice next time, jerk face.” I put my hand on my cocked hip and looked at him. When he didn’t spout off a retort or mock me, I got concerned. “Zach, what’s going on with you? Why did we have to talk in private? Did you murder someone and need help hiding the body or something?” I tried to make him smile, but I saw nothing other than anxiety in his hazel eyes.
“Gabe, I…” he turned away from me and ran a hand through his short dark-blond hair.
Butterflies fluttered chaotically in my stomach as I considered what was bothering him. “Oh, for Pete’s sake, please tell me you did not knock some chick up.”
Turning back toward me, he half-smiled. “Uh, no. Far from it, actually.”
“Then what is it? The suspense is killing me, dork.”
“How did you figure out you were gay?” He asked anxiously and started fidgeting with a book on the table beside him, not meeting my eyes.
His question caught me completely off guard. “There was nothing to really figure out. I always knew I was different, but I guess I never really understood it until around the time I told all of you. Why do you wanna know?” I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.
He shrugged, but didn’t answer and instead started flipping through the book he was fidgeting with.
“Zach, you better put that book down and answer me or I’m gonna kick your ass.” I knew I was full of shit, he could totally whip me in a fight.
“So, you can’t just turn gay? You’re born like that?” Instead of answering my question, he went around it and asked more questions that left me feeling extremely confused.
“For me, I had no choice. I’ve never been attracted to women. But some people are bisexual where they like both. And I guess that’s something that could evolve over time. I’ve even heard of some guys not knowing they were gay until like their early twenties. But I honestly don’t see how that is possible. They must have had some inkling they were gay earlier on in life, too.”
Zach put the book down and stared at me with a strange look. “I think I’m gay.”
For a second, I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. I was way too damn shocked. My jaw was to the floor as I gaped at him.
“Fuck, Gabe, say something.” He inhaled deeply and stared at me with uncertainty.
“Why do you think you’re gay?” There. I finally said something.
Exhaling, he answered me in a rush of words. “I don’t know. Well, fuck, yes I do know. I just… I don’t know. I always thought I liked girls, I mean I’ve dated enough of them. When I was in high school, though, I remember a time after football practice where I watched one of the guys in the locker room undress and get in the shower. I didn’t think too much about it after that, I just remember thinking how I thought he had a nice body. But in my head, I justified that with me just checking him out to compare myself to him, ya know?”
Shaking my head, I put my hand up. “Whoa, slow down and take a breath. Damn.” I hadn’t seen this coming, not by a long shot. Zach? Gay? No, it couldn’t be. “If that was so long ago, why are you telling me now?”
“Because something else has happened now,” Zach said hesitantly and looked at me. “There is a guy that hired me for personal training at the gym about two months ago. And I, uh, I’m having thoughts about him. As in hardcore sex dreams and now when I’m training with him, my damn dick won’t stay the fuck down, especially when the dude starts lifting weights.”
“It could just be curiosity,” I told him. “All guys go through phases where they fantasize at least once and think of experimenting. Hell, I’ve even imagined what it would be like to be with a woman. That line of thinking didn’t last long, though. I love dick too much.”
Zach shook his head. “If that were true, it would only be a few thoughts and then I’d move on, right?” He walked over to the window and peered out, resting his head against the cold glass. “I can’t get him out of my head, Gabe.”
Walking up beside him, I nudged his arm. “Chin up, buttercup. It’s not the end of the world if you’re gay. Gays have more fun.” I smiled as that got a chuckle out of him. “What’s his name?”
“Jackson.”
I squealed, unable to contain myself anymore.
“Fuck, what the hell was that for? Damn near almost deafened me, you ass.” Zach rubbed his ear and took a step away.
“Jackson? If it’s the one I’m thinking of– and I know it is, I mean, this is just too coincidental– he’s gay.” Excitement bubbled inside me as I sputtered out the words.
“Yeah, I know.” Zach looked down at me and gave a sheepish grin. “I remember him from school. He was only a year younger than me, but we had some classes together before that whole fucked up mess happened with his parents. He remembers me, too.” He looked back out the window and sighed heavily. “What am I gonna do, Gabe? I can’t be gay. What would people say? What would Dad say? Dammit…”
Words hardly ever failed me when I needed them, I always had something to say. But, for once, I was utterly speechless as I stared at Zach. Unlike earlier when I was speechless from sheer shock, I was now speechless because I didn’t know what to say to make my brother feel better. He was clearly struggling with his newfound feelings and it was something he needed to come to terms with on his own.
“Dad will understand, I promise. And I’m here for you. You know that, right?” I laid my head on his shoulder and stared out the window. All of the leaves had finally fallen from the trees, leaving behind a bare vessel of branches and twigs. The cloudy day added to the emptiness of the trees and I sighed. I missed the sun.
“I know. Thanks, little bro.” Zach stepped away from the window and looked back at me. “We better get back in there before your boyfriend freaks out and comes looking for you.”
I smacked his arm. “He only freaks out because he cares.”
Regarding me with a serious look, Zach stopped before leaving the room. “Do you love him?”
There wasn’t any question in mind. “Yes, I do.”
Zach’s eyes narrowed. “Does he love you?”
I rolled my eyes. “Is this where you go ‘protective big brother’ over me and intimidate him with those massive muscles of yours?” I squeezed one of his biceps and he laughed.
“Stop it, Gabe. I’m trying to be serious here.” His face grew stern. “He better not fucking hurt you or I will tear him to shreds.”
I patted his arm. “Take it easy there, killer. Thanks for having my back, but I don’t think he will hurt me.” My brows knitted together as I pondered. “Him and I… we have a weird connection. It’s hard to explain. We just fit together. He understands me and I understand him.” I shrugg
ed.
“Okay, don’t get into the details.” Zach put his hands up and laughed. “I don’t wanna know what goes on between you two.”
I chewed on my lip and looked up at my brother, debating whether or not I should tell him.
“What is it?” Zach asked suspiciously.
“I’m kind of glad you wanted to talk to me because there’s something I need to tell you, too.” I hadn’t told Zach or my Dad about the vandalism to my car. I definitely wasn’t going to tell Dad because I didn’t want to worry him, but I felt like Zach needed to know. I told him everything and hated keeping shit from him.
“Spill the beans, Gabe. Fuck.” Zach waved his hands anxiously at me and I stuck my tongue out at him before answering.
“Saturday night, my car got vandalized and smashed to bits.” Zach’s eyebrows shot up in alarm and I put a hand out to stop whatever he was going to say. “I wasn’t in the car, no worries. I was at work. When I got off work, I walked out and saw it in the parking lot.” My stomach turned as I remembered that night.
“So, some asshole was just trying to steal your shit or something? That sucks, bro. I’m glad you’re okay, though.” He pulled me to him and gave my head a noogie.
“Oh my God! My hair!” I tried to pull away and started slapping at his arms.
Releasing me with a laugh, Zach gave me his notorious dimpled grin. Narrowing my eyes at him, I tried to fix the mess that was my hair.
“So, is your car still in the shop?” Zach asked as he crossed his arms and looked down at me. I nodded and he continued talking, “Can you afford it? I can loan you some money if you need it.”
“I called my insurance company and talked to them about it for a while. The damage done to my car is covered under my insurance plan, so I shouldn’t have to pay anything.” I grinned at him. “But, thanks for offering.”
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