Something needed to be done about him. The world was a repulsive place if people like him were allowed to live in it, consequence free.
Two men together was against God. It was unnatural and they were abominations in the eyes of the Lord, wasting the life He had given them by living in sin.
Disgusting and filthy, that’s what gays were.
I thought the blond fag would have learned a lesson from what I did to his fucking girly car. There was no place in the world for someone like him.
It looked like I was going to have to take care of it once and for all and teach the blond fairy a lesson he would never forget.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Michael
Christmas Day went perfectly. Gabriel’s family came over to have Christmas dinner at my house– which stressed me the hell out, but ended up going very smoothly. Turns out, I’m an excellent host, something I never thought I would be decent at. David was right, Zach and Gabriel were even bigger jokesters at Christmas. They bickered like old women and chased each other around like they were five years old.
I smiled at the memory.
It was a new year and definitely a new me. These past few months had changed me so completely that I didn’t feel like the same person anymore. I knew that the beast was still inside me, as I knew he always would be, but Gabriel helped chase away the darkness that once haunted me incessantly. He had set me free. My nightmares about my mother had significantly lessened, but not disappeared entirely. However, I dealt with them differently now. Whenever I awoke from a nightmare and found Gabriel sleeping at my side, nestled in my arms, all shadowed torments disappeared and warmth spread through me.
He was my saving grace… my redemption.
And he currently had drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth as he slept. Smiling, I leaned down and kissed his cheek. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”
His beautiful eyes fluttered open and stared up at me briefly before he turned over and snuggled into his pillow, his purple-streaked blond hair in disarray around his head. “No. It’s too early.” I heard him yawn as he settled back into a comfortable position. Soft snores drifted to my ears a few moments later, making me smile.
Glancing at the time, I decided to let my angel sleep a little while longer before dragging him out of bed. It was Saturday morning, so I didn’t have work, but he did, and I knew trying to convince him to stay home all day would be a futile attempt.
Last night, I took him to the club to celebrate his twenty-second birthday, after having a nice dinner at Ambrosia. It was strange going back to the club again. After meeting Gabriel, I knew there was no one else for me, so the club hadn’t even crossed my mind. But my Princess loved to dance, so for his birthday, that’s where I had taken him. The entire night, I had to fend men off of him, coming very close a few times to kicking some ass. I blamed that on the sexy as sin black leather crop-top he had worn and those come-fuck-me heeled boots that still drove me completely crazy with lust when I saw him in them. Gabriel was too gorgeous for his own good. He had fun, though, and that’s all that mattered to me.
Afterward, we went back to his apartment to stay the night since it was closer than my house from the club. Gabriel got hilariously drunk and I wanted to get him tucked into bed as soon as possible before he passed out somewhere.
Giving him a light kiss on the side of his head, I quietly slipped out of bed and walked into the kitchen. His apartment was too small. And noisy. The neighbors on both sides of the wall were always yelling or bumping into stuff, and he lived in the part of town where break-ins were common. I always worried that someone was going to try to rob him or hurt him in some way when I wasn’t around. Call me paranoid, but I worked in the legal profession and heard countless skin-crawling stories of crime.
I really wished he would just move in with me.
I brought up the topic casually before, and he laughed, thinking I was joking, and said that his apartment lease didn’t end until January so to get back to him about it then. Well, it was January and I wanted him to move in with me. Now.
Shaking my head at my impatience, I started a pot of coffee and leaned against the small counter in the kitchen. As I listened to the coffee brew, I got lost in my thoughts. I was going to ask Gabriel to marry me, even though, to most people, it was still way too early in our relationship to consider marriage. But Gabriel and I were different than everyone else.
I knew that he was the only one for me and no amount of time was ever going to change that fact. My heart hammered wildly in my chest at the thought of proposing to him, but I knew it was what I wanted more than anything in the world– him to be forever mine, and for me to be his.
Gay marriage still wasn’t necessarily legal in the state of Arkansas, so Gabriel and I wouldn’t be able to officially marry until we either moved somewhere else or the state decided to remove the homophobic stick from its ass. Same-sex marriage was legalized briefly a few months ago, but then a ban was put on it almost directly afterward. That ban had since been overruled, but that decision was then taken to appeal. Until I could officially marry Gabriel, just knowing that he said ‘yes’ would be enough for me. I had already bought his ring, but was just waiting for the appropriate moment to ask him.
How was I supposed to do it?
Most men proposed in overly romanticized ways. Such as taking their beloved to a fancy dinner and popping the question in front of the entire restaurant, or having the ring placed inside their favorite dessert. Knowing Gabriel, he would probably accidentally eat it if I chose the latter option.
A knock on the front door snapped me from my indecisive musings. Taking the few short steps to the door, I unlocked it and opened it partially, checking to see who it was before opening it wider. “Hello, Zach,” I greeted Gabriel’s brother with a nod.
“Oh, hey, man.” Zach bounced on his heels anxiously. “Is Gabe awake yet?”
I shook my head. “No, he partied a little too hard last night and is still asleep. Is everything alright? I could wake him, if it’s something important.” I opened the door wider and froze when I saw the expression on Zach’s face when he looked at me.
Fuck. I had gotten so accustomed to Gabriel seeing me shirtless that I hadn’t even considered my scars before I had opened the door.
“Woah, what the hell happened to you?” Zach asked and then shook his head. “Sorry, man. I don’t mean to be rude. Just… damn.”
With a tight-lipped smile, I motioned for him to come inside. “I’m making a pot of coffee. Go ahead and come in and have a cup. Gabriel should be up soon.”
“Oh, okay. Cool. Thanks.” Zach walked inside and I closed the door behind him.
“Please excuse me a moment,” I said and took off walking to the bedroom to find a shirt. Entering the room, Gabriel was sprawled out on the bed, his tan skin exposed and delicious. I fought back the urge to crawl back into bed with him and devour his luscious ass. Walking over to him, I pulled the blanket up around him and tucked him in before leaning down to place a kiss on his cheek. Sighing, he cradled his pillow against him at my touch, causing that love-sick feeling to stir inside my chest.
Looking around, I found my shirt discarded on the floor and grabbed it to slip it on before walking back out there to Zach. He had his hands in his jacket pockets, looking around Gabriel’s living room.
Hearing me enter the room, he looked my way and gave a small grin. “Gabe sure knows how to decorate, huh?” Zach acknowledged, apparently trying to deter the topic from the horrendous scars he had seen on me.
“The man lives for cheetah print and the color purple.” I shook my head with a tight smile. Walking over to the coffee pot, I got two cups from the cabinet and poured us each a cup. “Do you take cream in yours?”
“Nope. I drink it black,” he answered and walked to sit on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table.
Walking to where he was sitting, I gave him his cup before taking a seat on the small loveseat beside the couch
.
“Thanks, man.” Zach raised his cup to his lips to take a drink.
“No problem.” I shifted in my seat and took a drink of my own cup, loving the way the hot liquid felt as it moved down my throat.
“No fucking way.” Zach straightened up in his seat as he looked at a framed picture hanging on the wall. “Is that seriously real?”
Following his gaze, I saw what he was looking at and smiled. For Gabriel’s birthday, I had pulled some strings and got him Sarah Jessica Parker’s autograph on a picture of her as her character, Carrie Bradshaw, from Sex and the City.
“Yes, it’s real.” I nodded. “I thought Gabriel was going to have a heart attack when he opened it yesterday.” I chuckled at the memory. “It’s even personalized to him.”
“Fuck, that’s awesome. And I thought the purse and sunglasses I had bought him was a cool gift. Nope, not compared to that.” Zach shook his head with a short laugh.
Smiling, I responded, “I think just the image of you purse shopping was gift enough for him.”
Zach barked out a laugh and settled back down into the couch cushion. “Yeah, I got some funny looks. But whatever, fuck ‘em.”
Feeling Zach’s stare on me, I looked his way. He looked away right when I looked at him. “Zach, things don’t have to be awkward between us. There are things about me, about my past, which I’ve only discussed with two people, Gabriel being one of them.” His hazel eyes flickered to mine again and I continued, “Your brother has really helped change my outlook on life and talking to people isn’t as hard as it once was. So as much as it’s weird for me to talk to someone about it, you can say what’s on your mind.”
“So, the scars,” Zach said hesitantly. “What the hell happened?”
“I didn’t have a good childhood, let’s just say that,” I answered. I didn’t want to give a detailed account to Zach of what had happened to me, but since he had already seen my scars, I knew I owed some sort of explanation. “My mother had… issues. And she took it all out on me.”
“Fuck, man.” Zach ran a hand through his short dark-blond hair. “I’m sorry to hear that. How are you so normal, then? I mean, aren’t people who suffered abuse supposed to be social recluses and have major psychotic problems?”
“I’ve had many years to learn to cope with it. I wasn’t always so normal. If that’s even the right word to use.” After answering him, I took a sip of my coffee. “The abuse ended when I was eleven, and after that, my teenage years were consumed with anger. I was mad at the world and everyone in it. Instead of talking to people, I would bury my nose in books and focus on my studies so that I could someday get a great job and get the hell out of that town. Eventually, I knew that I needed to talk to someone about the abuse and the intense surges of anger I was experiencing. That’s when I started seeing my psychiatrist.”
“You see a shrink?” Zach asked. “Well, damn. I guess you’d need to after all of that. Do you still see ‘em?”
I nodded. “I don’t see him as frequently as I once did. After meeting Gabriel, instead of seeing Dr. Chase once a week, I moved it to once every two weeks. Hopefully, I can eventually stop seeing him altogether.”
Talking to Zach about my past was bizarre; however, it wasn’t as difficult as it used to be. Gabriel didn’t just change my outlook on life, he also changed the way I saw myself as well. I no longer saw myself as someone undeserving of love. My angel had opened my eyes and showed me the good within myself.
“Yeah, Gabe is a special little dude, that’s for sure.” Zach took a big gulp of his coffee.
“Huh? Heard my name,” a croaky, adorable voice sounded from the kitchen as I heard the shuffling of feet against the tile floor. My princess was awake.
“I made some coffee.” Getting up from my seat, I grinned as I approached him. His blond-purple hair was a chaotic mess, sticking up like a cockatoo. Wrapping my arms around him, I kissed him gently on the lips and pressed my forehead to his. “Good morning.”
Gabriel sighed and nuzzled into me. “Morning.” He yawned and laid his head on my shoulder.
“Okay, you two. Enough of the lovey-dovey crap,” Zach mocked from the living room, making a gagging noise.
“If I didn’t have a major hangover, I’d so go kick his butt,” Gabriel whispered against my neck, making me chuckle lightly.
Kissing his cheek, I pulled back from him to get some pain medicine for his head and a glass of water. “Take this.” I handed him the pills and water. After he swallowed it, I grabbed the glass from him and said, “Go sit in there with your brother. I’ll bring you your coffee.”
“Thanks, babe.” He yawned again and scratched at the small stubble on his face before walking to the living room.
Opening up the cabinet, I grabbed Gabriel’s favorite coffee mug– one that had Spongebob Squarepants on it that said “Best Day Ever”– and made his cup of coffee exactly how he loved it, with caramel coffee creamer and a little sugar, and then took it to him. I took a seat in the same chair I was sitting in before, while Gabriel and Zach sat on the couch.
“I’m glad you finally got your prissy ass out of bed,” Zach teased Gabriel. “I have something I want to talk to you about.”
“I’ll give you two some privacy.” I started getting up from my seat before Zach stopped me.
“No, man. It’s cool. I don’t mind you hearing. It may actually be helpful to get your input as well.”
Settling back into my seat, I looked over at Gabriel, who was looking more awake and sipping slowly at his cup of coffee. Zach’s leg bounced as his expression became anxious. After taking a deep breath, he started talking.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gabriel
Coffee was a miracle worker. Plain and simple. With each sip, the dull throbbing in my temples gradually ceased, allowing me to focus on what Zach was about to say.
“I finally did it. I asked Jackson on a date,” Zach eventually blurted out.
My eyebrows shot up and I turned to look at him. “Really? Did you actually use the word ‘date’ with him when you asked?”
Zach’s face flushed. “Uh, not really. I just asked if he’d like to go have drinks or dinner sometime. That’s an implied date, though, right?”
“Not if he still thinks you’re straight.” I shook my head at him, causing a dizzy spell to come over me. Damn, I shouldn’t have drunk so much the night before. “He might just think it’s a friendly thing.”
“Well, fuck, Gabe. I’ve never asked a dude out before. I’m still not even sure if I’m actually gay. It’s all so confusing.” Zach put his face in his hands as he sat forward.
Looking over at Michael, he had a concentrated expression on his handsome face as he observed Zach.
“Just go out with him and get to know him more. You’ve only been around him during your training sessions, so you may feel differently being with him in a casual setting,” Michael spoke, shocking me. “See how everything feels to you while you’re around him. As the night goes on, pay attention to certain feelings that you have. If there’s deeper connection than just friends, you’ll know it.” Michael’s eyes shifted to mine and my stomach did its usual flips.
Zach lifted his face from his hands and looked at Michael, nodding his head. “Thanks. So, I guess I should just treat it like a normal night out with one of the dudes and if I still have these feelings for him, I’ll know what to do?” It was crazy seeing my brother so unsure of himself. He was usually so confident and exuded a thick cloud of arrogance.
“When is the date?” I asked. “Oh, I mean the ‘hang-out with a friend’?” I used air quotes in a teasing manner, getting a hateful glare from Zach.
“Tonight,” Zach groaned as he leaned back and laid his head on the back of the couch. “I’m so damn lost. What if it turns out that I’m not gay and this was just some freakin’ weird curiosity? I don’t wanna lead the guy on. He’s too great of a person and I don’t wanna hurt him.”
“Zach,” I said with a sigh,
the ache in my head returning and making me grouchy. “Cut the crap. You’ve been thinking about this guy for months in more than just a friendly way. Just accept the fact that you might be gay. It’s not some great evil or anything to be gay. Damn. And if all else fails and you still aren’t sure, kiss him. If you feel something, guess what, you probably crossed over to gay town, buddy. Congrats.” I brought a hand up to rub my temple and closed my eyes as a nauseous feeling bubbled in my stomach. “I feel sick.”
All of a sudden, a strong arm came around me and I opened my eyes to see Michael, concern rich in his green eyes. “Come on. You need to lie down and let the medicine kick in.” He easily picked me up and carried me off to the bedroom, tucking me back into bed. Leaning over me, he looked at me with a curve to his lips. “My princess feeling a bit bitchy this morning? Poor Zach.”
“I was a bit bitchy to him, wasn’t I?” I said pitifully, feeling guilty. The last thing Zach needed while he was trying to find himself was for someone to be a complete bitch to him.
Michael caressed the side of my face and moved a stray strand of hair out of my eye as he responded, “I think he knew what you meant by it. And maybe he needed to hear that. He’s going through a million different thoughts right now and maybe he needed that push in the right direction.”
“Yeah, maybe.” I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. “Can you ask him to come in here so I can apologize?”
“No need to apologize, li’l bro,” Zach said from the doorway. “Michael’s right. I needed to hear it.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the frame, his large biceps bulging. “I think just the idea of being gay freaks me out, ya know? Honestly though, I’ve had suspicions for years. This isn’t just a new thing for me. I never told you about it because I was ashamed, as stupid as that sounds. I mean, you’re gay and I don’t know of anybody more awesome than you.” I smiled at his words as he continued talking, “I went through women like most people go through loads of laundry, trying to prove to myself that I was straight. I was good at hiding myself. Until I met Jackson again after all of these years.”
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