"Like with you and Jade."
"And you and Dad."
She smiles slightly. "I guess we've all been through this, haven't we? Just in different ways."
"It worked out for us. Maybe it could work out for Lilly. We just have to find a way."
"I don't know if there is one."
"I don't either. I keep trying to think of an alternative but I can't come up with any ideas."
"Maybe it's for the best if Lilly ended things with Reed and we didn't even try to make this work."
"Why?" I ask, surprised at her suggestion. She's always the optimist, always believing things will work out.
"Your father risked everything to be with me and look what happened. They tried to kill me. And with you and Jade, your father took a huge risk once again to keep you out of having to join."
"And it ended up getting Grace's husband killed," I say, knowing where she's going with this.
"I want Lilly to be happy. We all do. But I'm not willing to put our entire family at risk for Lilly to be with Reed. If she becomes part of it, your father will have to be involved in it again. He'll have to know what's going on there, meaning he'll have to attend all the meetings and do the assignments. He'll be part of that world again, exposing us all to it. And years from now, when he's gone..." She looks at me.
"I'd have to be part of it," I say, finishing her thought.
I hadn't considered it before now, but she's right. If my dad was gone, I'd have to take his place. I'd have to know what's going on there that might affect Lilly. I wouldn't trust Reed to do it. He doesn't know them the way I do. Even if he'd been a member for years, I still wouldn't trust him to keep her safe. Or to keep my own family safe. With Lilly part of it, I'd be on their radar again. They'd want me back. And if I didn't join voluntarily, they'd force me to. And then they might try to get my children, my two boys, when they come of age. There's no way I could risk letting that happen.
"She has to break up with him," I say, resigning to the fact. I wish there was another way but there isn't, and although I feel bad for Lilly, I also know this is the right thing to do.
I'm starting to understand how my dad felt when he kept trying to get me to break up with Jade. He was trying to protect me, and trying to protect Jade. He knew I would hate him for it but he did it anyway because he had no other choice.
"How did your father keep you away from Jade?"
I've never told her much about that time in my life. It was a rough time, for all of us, so I don't talk about it.
"I didn't listen to him," I say. "I went behind his back. I bribed people to keep quiet and not tell him. But he still found out."
"And what did he do?"
"Yelled at me. Repeatedly. Threatened to send me to a different college to get me away from her. I thought for sure he'd take Jade's scholarship away so she'd be forced to leave, but he didn't. He never even threatened to take it away. He wanted her to have an education. So he let her stay there but kept warning me something bad would happen if I didn't get away from her. At one point, I told her I couldn't see her anymore but it didn't last. I couldn't stay away from her. I loved her in a way I knew I'd never love anyone else, so I couldn't just let her go. It wasn't even an option until...until they threatened her life."
"But by then you knew about the organization. You knew it was real and you knew what they would do if you didn't go along with their demands."
"Which is why we have to tell Lilly the truth. If we don't, she'll just keep going out with Reed. Even if Dad sent her to a different college, she'd find a way to see Reed. If she really loves him, she's not going to let Dad stop her."
"Do you think she does? I know she says she loves Reed, but when I was that age, I thought I was in love too, but I wasn't. It wasn't until I was older and met your father that I understood what love really felt like and that I'd found it. So when Lilly says she loves Reed, I want to believe her but part of me questions if she really does. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that to make this easier on her."
"It's not going to be easy, no matter what her feelings are for Reed. Honestly, I don't know that much about their relationship. She doesn't talk to me about that stuff so it's hard to say. I know she loves him. I just don't know how much, and if it's something that will last. When she told you she wants to marry him, was she being hypothetical or did she seem serious, like it's something she might actually do?"
"She seemed serious."
I get up and look out the window. My dad is now pacing the lawn, his head down. "Then we have to tell her why she has to break up with Reed. If we don't, we risk the two of them running off and getting married. I'm going to get Dad." I go outside, standing just outside the patio door. "Dad, we need to finish talking about this."
He stops pacing and turns to me. "I'm not going to debate this with you and your mother. Lilly has to end things with Reed. It's the only answer."
"I know. We agree."
"You do?" he asks, surprised.
"Yes. So come inside."
When we're back in the living room, my mom says, "What if we waited to tell her?"
"Why would we wait?" my dad asks.
"Because this isn't final yet. Maybe we could give ourselves more time to think about this before we tell Lilly. Didn't you say Dean has to complete another assignment before they can move forward?"
"Yes, but I'm confident he'll complete the assignment. He's already completed one. He's not going to quit now."
"What's the assignment?" I ask my dad.
"I don't know. They wouldn't tell us at the meeting because they don't want us offering assistance to the candidates to get them approved."
"Then who gives them the assignment?"
He huffs. "Phillip. The head of the committee gives out the assignments."
"How is that fair? He could help Dean with the assignment just as much as anyone else on the committee."
"It's not fair. But I didn't make the rules. This was something that was decided after I left. I'm finding the organization is beginning to go back to how it used to be. People who make bad decisions are taking over and the people who should be stopping them aren't speaking up. Anyway, I do know the first assignment given to both candidates was to falsify paperwork, which Dean did with no problem. The next assignment will probably be to put a scare into someone. Make a threatening phone call. Give a warning. Dean will likely say no at first but then they'll flash some money at him and he'll agree to it. It's clear that Dean responds favorably to monetary offers."
My phone rings. It's Jade so I answer it. "Hey. What's going on?"
"We can't stay here any longer. It's late and the kids are tired. They need to get to bed."
"Yeah. You can leave. I think we're done here."
"Did you decide anything?"
"I think we might wait to tell Lilly." I look at my parents but they don't confirm or deny it. "I'm not really sure. But don't say anything to her, okay?"
"I won't. We'll be there in a few minutes."
I hang up and set my phone down. "So what did we decide?"
My dad looks at my mom. "I suppose we could wait, but only so that it gives us more time to think. I'm not promising that we'll wait until Dean is officially approved. I don't want Lilly getting even closer to Reed. We need to find ways to keep those two apart."
"What if Dean isn't approved?" my mom asks. When my dad doesn't answer her, she says, "I know what they'll do to him, but is there any way to stop it?"
My dad glances at me with disapproval, knowing I told her. But why hide it from her? She knows they kill people.
"If that happens, we'll think about it then. Right now, my concern is for Lilly."
"But they could be together if he's not approved," my mom says.
"Yes, but I doubt that'll happen. So far, in all the years we've been doing this, every candidate has been approved. And with Phillip in charge of this, he'll make sure Dean is approved."
"Then get Phillip off the committee," I say.
>
"I can't. Even if I could, that wouldn't make them reject Dean for membership. As I said, there are still a fair number of members who want at least one of my children to be part of it, and since you're not, Lilly's the only option."
I can't believe this thought is even entering my head but she's my sister and I'll do anything to protect her. "Then maybe I should—"
"No!" My dad yells it so loud my mom and I both startle. "You are NOT going back to them! Not now, not ever! You understand me?"
"Yes," I say, feeling guilty for even suggesting it. I desperately want to help Lilly, but after all we went through to get me out, I can't go back.
A few minutes later, the front door opens and Abi and Hannah run in, holding pieces of construction paper. They stop in front of my parents.
"Grandma, look what I made you!" Hannah holds up the picture she made using crayons and markers and cotton balls for clouds.
It's a drawing of my parents sitting on a bench in the back yard. The bench is surrounded by flowers so it's one of their favorite places to sit.
My mom takes the picture and looks at it. "Thank you, sweetie. It's a pretty picture. I love all the flowers."
"I made one too." Abi hands hers to my dad. "It's you and me, Grandpa. You're reading me a book."
He smiles. "It's very nice. Thank you."
"You're welcome." She hugs him.
"Garret, can you help with the boys?" Jade asks.
I turn around and see her holding Ethan, who's asleep on her shoulder. Lilly is behind her, holding Miles, who is also asleep. Lilly struggles to hold him as she messes with her phone, her eyes glued to the screen.
I take Miles from her. He stirs a little but remains asleep.
"Girls, you need to get to bed," Jade says to Abi and Hannah.
"Will you read us a story?" Abi asks my dad.
"Not tonight," he says. "Some other time."
They say their goodnights then go to their room. We're staying here since it's too late to drive home.
"I'm gonna call Reed," Lilly says.
We all watch as she goes to her room. Then we look at each other, not saying anything.
None of us know what to do. There's no good answer. No good solution. The only thing that's certain is that this isn't going to end well.
Chapter Sixteen
Lilly
As soon as I'm in my room, I shut the door and call Reed. I haven't been able to talk to him all day and I miss him.
"Hey," he says picking up on the first ring. "You finally called."
"I know. Sorry it took me so long. We just got home."
"What'd you guys do over there?"
"We were mostly in the pool during the day. Then after dinner, Harper set up some craft projects for the kids and I ended up supervising while Jade and Harper talked. But it was fun." I laugh. "I made you a present."
"Oh, yeah? What is it?"
"I'm not telling you. It's a surprise." I take it out of my purse and set it on my desk. It's a cardboard picture frame covered in stickers. I made it as a joke. It has teddy bear stickers and hearts on it. Abi made one too but she kept reaching over to mine and adding red lip stickers to it, giggling each time she did it. She's seen Reed kiss me, so when I told her the frame was for him, she just had to add the lip stickers.
"When do I get this present?" he asks.
"Next time I see you."
"Which is when?"
"Who knows? My dad's acting even stranger than normal. And he's in a really bad mood. Ever since he got back from New York, I've been afraid to get near him. I feel like he's going to blow up at any moment. I haven't seen him like this for a long time, probably not since he was married to my mom. Those two used to fight constantly."
"Is he fighting with Rachel?"
"No. It's not that. It's something else."
"Maybe it has to do with Garret's company."
"That's what I was thinking. I can't come up with any other explanation. Garret's been acting weird too so that's gotta be it. He's almost as stressed out as my dad. Anyway, right now I'm afraid to even ask my dad if I can come down there to see you."
"Then I'll come up there. Unless you think your dad's gonna throw a fit if I do."
"I don't know why he would, but I better run it past him before I agree to it. But I can't ask him tonight. Maybe tomorrow. I'll have Rachel ask. She's better at getting him to agree to things than I am."
"If it makes you feel any better, my dad's been acting crazy too. He's totally stressed, and when I asked him why, he said it's because of his job but I don't buy it. Managing a tour with out-of-control musicians is a lot more stressful than sitting in an office all day, but he never seemed stressed when he was managing tours."
"Maybe the new job is stressful because it's not what he's used to."
"I guess. I've just never seen him this way. I don't even think he sleeps anymore. When I got up this morning, he was sitting in the living room with his laptop and said he never went to bed. His lack of sleep makes him cranky so I've been trying to stay away from him."
"When did he start acting like this?"
"Ever since he took that job. But he's been getting worse since he got back from that trip a few days ago."
"Was it a work trip?"
"Yeah. It was in Connecticut. He had to go to some meeting. I don't know what it was about but he was really nervous before he left. I think he should just quit this new job and go back to managing tours. He was a lot easier to live with back then."
"Do you think he'd do that?"
"No. He likes the money that comes with the new job. Oh, and get this. You're not going to believe this."
"What?"
"He gave me ten thousand dollars."
"Ten thousand dollars? Are you serious?"
"It's already in my bank account."
"Is it for school?"
"No. He already gave me my school money. This is just for whatever I want to use it for. Like maybe a gift for the girl I love?"
"Reed, don't buy me anything. You need to save that money."
"Some of it, but not all of it. I never had money last year. Now that I do, I want to buy you something. Is there anything you want, or should I just surprise you?"
"I don't need anything."
"It's not about what you need. I just want to get you something."
"Then wait until my birthday. It's not that far away."
"Speaking of that, do you think there's any way I could take you somewhere that weekend?"
"I doubt it. Given how my dad's been acting, I'm sure I'll be stuck here. I'm seriously counting the days until we're back in college."
"Same here. It's been good to spend time with my dad this summer but I'm ready to go back to campus."
"So where were you going to take me?" I smile as I lie down on my bed.
"What are you talking about?"
"You said you wanted to take me somewhere for my birthday. So where were you going to take me?"
"I hadn't figured that out yet. I was thinking somewhere along the coast. Maybe camp out on the beach one night. Stay at a hotel the next. Or get a hotel for both nights if you don't like roughing it."
"I'd totally camp out on the beach. Jade and Garret did that for their wedding night. Harper set up a tent for them and made it all fancy with candles and stuff."
"I can't promise you it'd be fancy, but it'd be fun. And we'd be alone."
"That'd be the best part. We haven't been alone together in weeks."
"God, I know," he says, longingly. "I miss you so damn bad. You're only an hour away and I never see you."
"Let me talk to Rachel tomorrow. She'll talk to my dad. I'm sure he won't care if you drive up here."
"That's another thing. Apparently I'm getting a new car."
"You just got a new car."
"I got it almost a year ago and it was used. My dad wants me to have a new one to take to school in the fall. And this time, he's paying for it. All of it. I don't have to chip in h
alf like last time."
"What kind of car?"
"Whatever I want."
"I don't get it. He's only worked at that job for what, a month? How does he have all this money all of a sudden?"
"I was thinking the same thing. I hope he didn't get himself involved in something he shouldn't have."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Selling drugs?"
"You think your dad would sell drugs?"
"He was around them for all those years he was on tour. He definitely has connections in that world. I'm sure sometimes he was even in charge of getting them for the band."
"Does he use them himself?"
"Not that I know of. I mean, I'm sure he has in the past but I don't know if he does now. I've never found any here in the apartment."
"So all this happened today? You got ten thousand dollars and the promise of a new car?"
"Yeah." He laughs. "Not a bad day, huh?"
"Sounds better than mine."
"Something else happened." He sounds serious now. "Something not so good."
"What is it?"
"My mom called."
"She did?" I sit up, folding my legs in front of me.
"Yeah. Right before you called."
"Reed, that's major news. I can't believe you didn't start with that."
"Why would I? It's not like I'm happy about it."
"I thought you wanted to talk to her."
"Yeah, if she's sober and ready to be a mom again. But she's not. She sounded drunk and high on something."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It was bad. I almost hung up on her but then I started feeling sorry for her and...I should've just hung up. I can't let her manipulate me like she used to. I don't want to go back to that."
"So what did she say?"
"That she's still in Texas and her boyfriend is in jail. She's living in his trailer. She called to ask if I'd come pick her up and bring her back here. And of course she expects me to find her a place to stay, meaning get her an apartment again and pay for it."
"What did you tell her?"
"That I'm not doing it. She got really pissed and started yelling at me, telling me I'm spoiled now that I live with my dad and that I don't deserve any of the things he gives me."
Lilly and Reed: A Kensington Family Novel Page 16
