by Toni Shiloh
God, guide me. Help me help her.
He ran a hand down her hair in soft strokes and started crooning the soft words of Amazing Grace. Evan sang to her until her sobs calmed to quiet sniffles. He continued stroking her hair while rubbing her back. Even though he did it to calm her and show her he was there for her, it affected him more.
How he wanted to be there for her every day. Calming her fears. Cheering on her accomplishments. Evan wanted to love her in every way possible. He wanted to be with Jo for a lifetime. He wanted to love her and commit himself to her and her alone.
Evan knew he loved Jo Ellen Baker with his entire being and would for life.
The thought slammed into his body so forcefully it shook with the emotion. When he had said they had only been on one date, he wasn’t trying to minimize their relationship. He’d just been so shocked at the strength of feeling he had for her, considering how very little time they’d been together.
What about all the other times you spent with each other?
Jo had been there every day of his hospital stay. Brought him his favorite foods while his body healed from the toxins of the allergen. She’d talked with him over jazz, sharing her hopes and dreams.
No, their relationship went far deeper than a mere date. It had evolved into a partnership without him even realizing it. And before he made the move to date her, his psyche had already started down the path with a simple crush that began in his teenage years. He could only pray that she would forgive him and give him another chance, because he had used up his second one.
Please, Lord, let her forgive me and give me chance after chance for the rest of our lives. I pray that she is the woman You have for me. I love her and want to take care of her and cherish her for as long as You have me here on this Earth. In a wheelchair or not.
He thanked God for listening and for hearing his prayer. Jo moved slightly, struggling to sit up. She looked into his eyes, and he stilled his hands.
“You just let me cry.” Her eyes searched his.
For what, he wasn’t sure. Did she see something positive? Had his action shown her how sorry he was?
“I haven’t cried like that in years.”
“Thank you for trusting me with your tears.” He wiped a stray one away. Her skin was so smooth. Her eyes reminded him of a sweet truffle.
“Why would you reduce our relationship to one date?”
His eyebrows rose up in surprise. He hadn’t expected that. He thought she would want to talk about her grandmother. To think, he had just been pondering the exact same situation. “My feelings for you took me by surprise. I thought voicing my thoughts would show me how ridiculous it was to feel so strongly for you after one date.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. He prayed it meant a good surprise and not a bad one.
“So then why didn’t you just say that?”
“Ah Jo, you know I’m not good at sharing my feelings. Look how I tormented you in high school. Do you think it’s because I hated you? It was because I was so shocked to be attracted to you.”
“But I had glasses and braces.” Her brows wrinkled in bewilderment. She looked adorable.
“True. But it’s never been about your looks.”
The clearing of a throat startled them both and Jo jumped off his lap. He stared down at his empty hands, missing her presence already.
“Ms. Baker, I have an update on your grandmother.”
Evan rolled toward the doctor so that he could take his place next to Jo. He wished he could stand next to her and tuck her into his side for safe keeping, but just being next to her would have to suffice. He reached out for her hand and sighed in relief as she linked her fingers through him.
“How is she, doctor?”
“I’m afraid the news isn’t good, Ms. Baker. The pneumonia is progressing rapidly and an infection has developed at her incision site. At her age...” he trailed off, a frown marring his features.
“At her age,” Evan prompted.
“At her age,” he cleared his throat. “It’s unlikely she will recover. If you’re praying people, now would be the time.” The doctor relayed his regrets and then turned back down the hall toward ICU.
Evan couldn’t believe it. The doctor all but stated that they were waiting for her to die.
Lord, please bring healing to Nana Baker. And please let Jo feel Your presence. She’s going to need You if healing Nana on this earth isn’t in Your plans.
He could only hope that Jo would allow him to be there for her as well.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Jo watched as Dr. Philips walked away. She couldn’t believe it. He seemed so defeated, so prepared for her Nana to die. She can’t die, Lord. Nana had to live. If she died, who would be there to cheer for her when she got married? Who would tell her children stories of their ancestors? Or better yet, make them cookies?
Who would encourage her to trust God and look to Him for answers? Who would remind her that she only had one sister and needed to become friends with her? Her grandmother had practically assumed the role of her conscience. Without her, who would she be?
Jo sank into the nearest waiting room chair. How had life taken such a turn for the worst? Suddenly last week’s Bible reading flashed in her mind. She had been reading the first chapter of Job after he had lost everything. What had he said? Oh yeah, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Even in his anguish, Job had sung praises to the Lord.
Was that where she went wrong? She’d been ignoring His whispers of trust and, instead, focused on the what-ifs. Jo closed her eyes, ashamed, feeling the tenuous trust slowly building like a brick wall.
God, it’s me, Jo. I’m so sorry I’ve been ignoring You. You’ve been telling me to trust You and I know it’s because I don’t trust anyone. Look at how easily I pushed Evan away because of that. God, please help me trust You and remember that You are holy and worthy to be blessed, no matter what’s going on in my life.
“You okay?”
She looked up, startled from her prayer. For a moment, she had forgotten Evan even existed.
“Yes, just praying and praising God for being worthy.”
Evan blew out a breath of air. “You’re amazing.”
“What? No, I’m not. I had to be reminded that no matter what’s going on in my life, He’s still worthy of praise.”
Evan laughed, but there was nothing comical about the noise. It sounded weary and slightly bitter. “It took me a few months to remember that.”
“Some people are slow learners.” She grinned at him.
His laughter warmed her heart. It felt much better to share joy with him instead of pain.
“Evan, please forgive me for ignoring you and shutting you out. I shouldn’t have done that. All it allowed me to do was wallow in self-pity. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”
“JoJo, I forgive you if I must, but I’d rather you forgive me.” He caressed her cheek. “I shouldn’t have reduced our relationship to nothing. It’s been a long time coming and I let my fear keep me from admitting we have something special.” He traced her lips with a soft touch. “Go out with me, JoJo. Let’s make this a two-date relationship?”
She grinned, lightness pushing out the darkness. She didn’t know what was going to happen with her grandmother, but she knew she wanted Evan to weather the storm with her. “It’s a date.” Jo leaned forward and brushed her lips against his.
SILENCE FILLED THE hospital chapel. Evan looked around, thankful that Darryl, Chloe, and Michelle had all gathered to pray for Jo’s grandmother. He had invited Guy, but his friend wanted no part in the “farce.” Instead, he wished Jo and her grandmother good thoughts. Evan wanted to shake some sense into his friend, but that would most likely cause him to retreat further.
“Thank you so much for coming, you guys.” Jo looked at them all with gratitude.
The group nodded.
“I’ll start,” Evan offered.
They joined
hands and bowed their heads.
“Father, we come to You today to lift up Nana Baker. Lord, You know how many days she has here on this earth, and all we ask is that it not be in the near future. Lord, please heal her body and give the doctors wisdom to treat her adequately and fully.”
He paused. What else could he say?
“Lord,” Chloe chimed in. “We thank You for giving Jo the strength to get through this. We know that You are here with her, no matter what happens.”
Chloe’s soft voice faded, but the silence didn’t last long.
Darryl began talking. “Lord, um, I’m rusty at this, but I wanted to ask that You would help those caring for Nana Baker show her Your love. I have to believe that Your love would be better than all of ours combined, so please shower her with it as well as Jo, so they can get through this. Thanks.”
Evan wanted to clap his friend on his back. He was proud of D. The boy was trying.
“I guess it’s my turn,” Michelle said quietly. “Lord, You know how I feel about death. Even though I understand no one can escape it, I wish no one had to endure it. Please, don’t take Nana Baker. Not now, not yet. Please,” she whispered.
The sound of sniffles broke through.
“Lord, it’s me Jo. Thank You for surrounding me with people who care about me and Nana. I can’t thank You enough. Amen.”
“Amen,” they chorused.
Evan looked around and met Jo’s gaze. He crooked his finger at her and she walked up to him.
“What’s up?”
“I have to go see Dr. Benson. He consulted with the allergist regarding my results. I’m going to go find out the results now.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Her eyes darkened with concern.
Man, was he thankful for her. “No, you worry about Nana Baker. I’ll be back once the appointment is over.”
She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. “Okay.”
He said his good-byes to the rest of the group and headed for the orthopedic floor.
“I’M ALLERGIC TO PLASTIC?” Evan couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “How is that even possible? Wouldn’t I have figured that out by now?”
“Doctors and researchers are just now discovering polypropylene allergies. It’s quite possible you’ve had reactions in the past, but they weren’t severe enough to alert you.”
A plastic allergy?
“Also, if you think about it, your skin rarely comes into contact with plastic. However, since you were wearing the prosthesis day in and day out, it aggravated the contact dermatitis on a daily basis. Some allergies develop over time and others are more instant.”
“Can I get another prosthetic?”
“Yes, if it can be made without plastic. I would also encourage you to look into forearm crutches. They’re another means of mobility. A lot of patients who have problems wearing a prosthesis decide to go with those. They have some high-end ones as well, not the kind a doctor hands you for a sprained ankle. You can buy ones that are made to walk on ice, survive tornados, etc. And of course, without plastic.”
He could get another prosthesis. He wanted to shout with joy. Thank You, God!
“I need to caution you,” the doctor continued. “If you go with another prosthesis, you need to let me or your prosthetist know of any abnormal skin changes. Don’t let it get bad like this again.”
“Understood.” Evan knew he was cheesing but he couldn’t help it. He could get another prosthesis and get out of the chair.
Why he’d even depended on it as much as he did was beyond him. The underarm crutches had been uncomfortable. He’d never even thought about forearm crutches. But none of that mattered, because he could get another prosthetic.
JO PICKED UP HER CELL phone. The hospital’s number flashed on the caller id. She took a deep breath and answered.
“Ms. Baker, could you please come to the hospital?”
“Yes, how’s my Nana doing?”
“She’s off oxygen.”
“Wait, what?”
“She’s off her oxygen, Ms. Baker. She’s able to breathe on her own.”
“Thank you, Lord!”
“Amen.”
Jo blushed. She hadn’t realized she thanked Him aloud. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She wanted to jump and shout. “Yes!”
“What is all that racket?” Michelle said, peering in her room.
“Nana is off oxygen. She can breathe on her own. They want me to come to the hospital.”
Michelle clasped her heart. “I’m so happy for you, girl. Mind if I tag along?”
“Of course not. Let’s go.”
Jo opened the front door to the bungalow, eager to get there and stopped.
“Hello, Jo Ellen.” Her mother looked prim and proper and not the least bit chilled. How the woman always looked put together was beyond her.
“Mother. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see if there is anything I can do to help out with your grandmother. We’ve been praying for her at church.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. Despite the issues she had with her mother, the thought of her actually praying for Nana made her forget every single grudge she’d harbored against her. Without thought, she wrapped her mother in a hug. “Thank you so much.”
Her mother cleared her throat and patted her awkwardly before removing herself from Jo’s embrace. “It’s the Christian thing. Plus, your father would be filled with worry if he were still alive to see her go through this.”
Agreed. “Well, I just got a call saying she’s doing better. I’m headed there now.” She stopped, searching her mother’s gaze. “Would you...would you like to come with me and Michelle?”
“I don’t want to impose.” Her gaze darted away and then returned.
If Jo didn’t know any better, her mother was actually nervous. “I would like the company.”
“Yes, Mrs. Baker. Why don’t you and Jo...Ellen go and I’ll stay here.” Michelle directed a smile toward her mother and squeezed her arm.
“Sure.” Her mother looked over her shoulder at the driveway. “Why don’t I drive?”
“Sounds great, Mother.” Jo tossed a wave to Michelle and headed for her mother’s Jaguar.
Jo settled into the leather interior, intent on making the drive pleasant. She didn’t know what made her mother extend an olive branch, but she would accept it.
“How have you been dealing with this?”
She looked at her mother, surprised at the question. Was her mother trying to do better at showing she cared? “It’s been rough. We held a prayer meeting at the chapel yesterday. I was praying that it would turn her toward the better, but before I left the hospital her status remained the same.”
“Well, your prayers worked, just not as quickly as you hoped.”
“Yes, I’m getting the hang of this prayer thing. Or rather more importantly, trusting in God.”
Her mother glanced at her. “Good. No one can make it through life without Him.”
“Amen,” she whispered.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Evan walked down the hall, his crutches barely making a sound. After the good news from the doctor, he decided it was time to ditch the wheelchair. He’d become lazy and too dependent on it. It was time to take back his independence, regardless of his mode of transportation. He shifted the crutches under his arm, so that he could open the door.
A lady glanced up from her computer screen, her eyes squinting behind her glasses as she tried to focus. “Good morning, may I help you?”
“Yes, I’m here to see Principal Parker. I have a two o’clock appointment.”
She glanced down at her computer screen and he noticed the pencil sticking out of her bun.
“Are you Mr. Carter?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Have a seat and I’ll notify the Principal.”
Evan sat down and straightened his tie. He couldn’t believe he decided to apply for the assistant coach position. Now,
if he could only make it through the interview.
An African-American woman came out of the office marked Principal. He looked at her, trying to keep his face neutral, but inside his thoughts were whirring. Wasn’t she the same principal that had run the school when he attended?
He walked forward then stopped to hold out his hand. “Afternoon, Principal Parker.”
“Mr. Carter, my have you grown. I’m sure you don’t remember me, considering you never came into my office.”
He chuckled. “I thought it was you, but you looked young, so I didn’t want to say anything.”
Principal Parker laughed. “Flattery will get you everywhere. Step inside my office, Mr. Carter.”
Evan sat down and said a quick prayer. He couldn’t believe how nervous he was.
“I see you were a coach in Chicago. What made you move back to Freedom Lake?”
“I moved back home after the accident. It seemed to be the best move for me. I’ve bought a home, so I intend to remain in Freedom Lake. After all, it’s where I was born and raised.” He swallowed, wishing he could loosen his tie. Did he sound fake? Was it believable? Granted he hadn’t wanted to return home, but he knew now this is where he was supposed to be.
Freedom Lake was home.
“That’s understandable. And you’re willing to coach at Freedom High? We don’t have the prestige as some of the private schools in Chicago. Our boys pray and hope that they’ll get a scholarship to Purdue or U of I, but it’s not guaranteed. There’ll be no fame or glory.”
“But there’ll be family.” He shifted in his seat and wiped his palms against his slacks. “One of the things I remember most about high school was the family atmosphere. Our coach pushed us hard, but he also treated us like family. I’m okay with not being famous, Principal Parker.”
She sat back and looked at him.
He met her gaze, praying he didn’t blink or fidget. He didn’t know what she was thinking but he prayed it was only good thoughts. “Well, I can’t say this officially, but welcome back to Freedom High...Coach Carter.”
