They all needed one another here, and without them, he would always feel not good enough. But with his team, with all of them claiming Alana as their woman, then he could feel as though there was a chance at a little bit of happiness with the woman he’d fought so hard to live for.
* * * *
“So my cousin is going to be doing some drive-bys even at night. So don’t be too concerned if you see some lights and vehicles near the woods,” Vincent told her.
“That’s very kind of him. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”
Vincent reached up and gently glided a strand of her hair between his fingers.
“You should always take precautions anyway. In fact, we should exchange numbers so, if you ever need anything, I can get to your place fast,” he told her.
“I don’t think she’ll be needing that, Vincent.”
Alana swung her head around to see Gabe, and she nearly lost her balance. She hadn’t expected him to show up or to interrupt this conversation. By the way he had been acting and his whole dead-to-the-world attitude, she was floored.
“Gabe. How are you doing?” Vincent asked him and reached out his hand to shake Gabe’s.
Gabe was a gentleman and did so, and Vincent seemed to look at Gabe as if he felt sorry for him. Something clicked inside of Alana’s head.
“I was just being neighborly and letting Alana know that she has a friend nearby she can call if she ever needs anything.” Vincent winked at Alana.
“Yeah, well, she has my buddies, and they’ll be watching over her. In fact, we were waiting for her to come back to the tables for lunch. So if you don’t mind…” Gabe said to Vincent.
“I’ll see you in town, Alana, or maybe at Casper’s next week. Friday and Saturday are your nights, right?”
“Yes. I’ll see you around, and thank your cousin for me please.”
“I’m sure he’ll be by your place. You can thank him yourself.”
She smiled as he walked away. Vincent was a very nice guy. A lot nicer than when he had a few too many drinks in him.
“I don’t want you talking to him. He’ll take it the wrong way and think you’re interested.”
She shot a look at Gabe. He was so big and tall that her head tilted back to nearly her shoulders. “You don’t want me talking to him? Really? Why would you even care who I talk to? You’re dead to me, remember?” she said in anger and began to walk away.
He grabbed her arm and held her close. Their bodies pressed together, and she gasped. This was how it always was with them. This intense connection, this desire and need so overwhelming they had to have one another and be close.
He immediately stepped back, recomposed himself, and looked away from her then back.
The bastard. How the hell can he do that? He had to have felt what I felt. Why was he trying so hard to push me away? Why am I even here talking to him? Because I still love him. Fudge!
“He’s not right for you. Besides, I said I was dead and had my reasons for doing that.”
“Like what kind of reasons?” she asked him as she tried to look into his dark eyes and see something, anything that could give her a hint to his way of thinking right now.
“I’m not going to talk about it. It doesn’t matter.”
“Well, it matters to me. It matters to your parents and all the people in Scrantonville who think you’re still dead.”
“Alana, don’t push me. I have my reasons.”
“So you keep telling me. How can you stand there and expect me to not be angry with you? To not break down and cry because of everything I went through thinking you were dead this entire time?”
“What you went through? What about what I went through? Have you turned into such a self-centered princess?”
She didn’t think twice as she shoved at his chest. He stumbled back. She felt a shot of guilt, but he recovered, and she was angry all over again.
She pointed at her chest. “I’m the same person. I haven’t changed at all, so apparently if you can call me a self-centered princess, then you never really knew me, Gabe. That hurts.” She turned and began walking away.
“Alana, wait.”
He placed his hand on her shoulder from behind, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her muscles tightened, and then that warm, deep feeling filtered through her skin and her bones. She longed to feel his touch. She’d begged God every night for Gabe’s return home from the service. She squeezed her eyes tight and pleaded to just be able to feel Gabe’s touch again. To feel his big, strong, muscular arms surround her.
She hadn’t even realized he was walking with her and that they wound up by a tree guarded by leaves and onlookers. Tears streamed down her cheeks, and a sob arose from deep in her gut. Then Gabe turned her around and hugged her tight. She lost it. She sobbed as the memories of all those lonely, sad days and nights filtered through her mind, making her numb and exhausted.
* * * *
Gabe felt his eyes well up with tears and his heart fill with emotion. He inhaled Alana’s shampoo and the scent of her perfume. He squeezed her petite frame against his body and felt his cock instantly harden with thoughts of making love to her and that utter complete sensation when their two bodies were joined so intimately.
Then came the fear, the terror of not being able to be the man she needed, the one she deserved. He thought about the things he’d witnessed and the actions he’d partaken in. He was a changed man. He was a damaged, violent man who should have died out in that godforsaken dessert or in one of the trenches out by the roadways.
He felt meaningless, and he felt dirty, like some wild, untamed beast that could hurt Alana in the midst of one of his episodes.
“Alana, don’t cry. I’m sure this is upsetting. But you need to do as I ask. It’s what’s right for you.”
She pulled back and looked up at him. Her gorgeous green eyes were sparkling with tears clinging to her thick, long eyelashes. Her lips were full and wet, and he wanted to kiss her, get lost in every aspect of Alana.
“What’s right for me? How would you know what’s right for me?”
“Because I know you. I know you put everyone first in all you do. I know you’ve suffered over the last few years thinking that I was dead.”
“Suffered?” She sniffled. “They were the worst three years of my life. If I hadn’t moved out of Scrantonville to get out from under the depression and constant reminders of my love for you, then I never would have found you. I would still be thinking that you were dead. I would still be all alone.”
He cupped her cheeks.
“But you’re not alone anymore. Jaxon, Geno, Gator, and Jeb want you.” He took a deep breath and released it, realizing it hurt to say this and to push her away and toward his team. But they would make her happy. They were good, whole men who would commit to only her.
“And what about you, Gabe? Don’t you want me anymore?” she asked as another tear rolled down her cheek.
It was torture to see her like this, to know that he loved her but could not have her or tell her.
“No. I don’t want you. But they do, and they’ll treat you right and make you happy.”
She shook her head and pulled back. She used her sleeve to wipe the tears from her eyes, and she stood straighter. She was the daughter of a Marine. She wasn’t weak. She was a soldier in so many ways.
“Well, that’s not really your decision, Gabe.” She looked away from him. A glance in that direction and he could see the concerned faces as his friends drew closer.
She held his gaze, and he nearly gulped under her perusal.
“Do you know what I think? I think you’re scared shitless. I think you’ve given up on yourself and your capabilities, and you know what? I still love you, and there’s not a damn thing you can say or do to make me not love you. So what I suggest is that you wake up and snap out of whatever screwed-up shit you’ve trained your brain to believe. I’m living in Tranquility now, and I’ll talk to any man or men I want to and not just the one
s you push me toward.”
She stormed off, and Gabe stood there watching her leave. He felt enraged, angry, and then he felt disgusted with himself. He was being a heartless bastard. It was obvious that she still loved him the way he still loved her.
He ran his fingers through his hair. I can’t bring her down. I’m not good enough for her.
“What’s going on? What did you say to Alana?” Jaxon demanded to know.
“Nothing. We were talking.”
“Talking my ass. She was crying. What the fuck, Gabe?” Gator gave Gabe’s shoulder a shove, and then he stormed off in the direction Alana had gone.
“What is your fucking problem? Why do you find it necessary to keep hurting her?” Jeb asked Gabe as he stared at him with his fists by his sides. His buddies, his team members all looked ready to kill him.
“What? I’m not intentionally hurting her.”
“Then why follow her if you didn’t mean to upset her?” Geno asked this time.
“I wanted to try to talk with her, and then I saw her with Vincent.”
“Vincent?” Geno asked and then looked furious and jealous all at once. Gabe had felt the same way but had denied it.
“I interrupted them. He was telling her she could call him any time she needed him and that his cousin was going to take extra care to watch over her and the cottage.”
“Fucking asshole.” Geno practically spat his words.
“What did you do?” Jaxon asked.
“I told him that we had her covered and she didn’t need his help. Then I got her away from him.”
“And?” Jaxon pushed.
Gabe took a deep breath. The conversation had gone all wrong. He’d fucked up.
“I told her that she shouldn’t talk with a guy like Vincent and that he wasn’t right for her. From there on, it got ugly. End of story. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You heard about the guy in the woods, and you know none of us plan on leaving her alone in that cottage tonight or any night,” Jeb stated.
“Good luck with that. She’s on fire right now, and they’ll be no negotiating. Trust me, Alana’s a hell of a lot tougher than you guys know.”
Gabe turned around and began to walk toward the parking lot. He’d screwed up, and she seemed to know that he was pushing her away on purpose yet didn’t want to. He needed his buddies. He needed their help and for them to be part of taking care of Alana. The only major problem was that he would be forced to stand by and watch them make love to her when he couldn’t share that intimacy with Alana ever again. Not with his scars, the chunk of flesh out of his leg, and his inability to love her fully like they could.
His heart ached something terrible, and a tear nearly fell from his eye.
I love you so goddamn much, Alana. But I can’t give you everything you deserve. I can’t.
* * * *
Alana was heading toward Gia and Garrett when Gator locked gazes with Gunner, who was standing right beside them.
Gunner knew something was up, and he placed himself in front of Alana and gave Gator the stare down.
“Alana.” Gator said her name, and Gunner raised his hand palm forward.
“Slow down, Gator. What’s going on? Why is she upset?” Gunner asked in a protective manner.
It both angered Gator because he felt it was his job to protect her and also made him proud. Proud to have such good friends and loyal men like Gunner watching over Alana too.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” Gia asked Alana. But instead of seeing tears, or even hearing sniffling or crying, Gator heard Alana practically growl.
“That stupid, hard-headed, delusional Marine. He’s pushing me away on purpose because of something stupid. I just know it.” Alana said to them.
“Alana, I don’t know what happened between you and Gabe back there, but we need to talk.” Gator took her hand, pulling her toward him as he pressed closer.
She had tears in her eyes, but her chest was blotchy, probably from getting so angry at Gabe, and her eyes stared at him as she thought of what to say.
When she laid her hand against his chest, he felt his whole world turn upside down. He liked the feel of her feminine, delicate palm against his chest, and he loved how she was petite and he towered over her.
“Alana, you can leave with us right now,” Gunner stated firmly.
“I’m taking her home and making sure her place is secure. There’s things we’re going to discuss,” he said to Gunner then looked back down into Alana’s eyes.
“Please, Alana, hear me out.”
She held his gaze for a few torturous moments, and he thought she would decline and hide behind Gunner, a protective security blanket. Instead, she nodded.
“I’m not angry with you, or even Jaxon, Geno, and Jeb. I’m angry with Gabe.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her against his body. He cupped her cheek and stared down into her eyes so she would hopefully see how serious and sincere he was.
“I understand that. I want to talk to you about that, but I also want to make sure that you’re safe. I’m going to drive you back to your place and make sure your cottage is secure.”
Her eyes widened just as they heard the other voice.
“I’m going too,” Geno said as he joined them.
Gia looked at Alana, who turned toward her as she asked, “Are you okay with this?”
Alana didn’t answer for a moment, and Gator, who thought he was built of steel, especially around his heart, felt nervous with anticipation.
Alana nodded. “I’ll be fine. They really don’t have to check the cottage.”
Gator glided his hand along her lower back then took her hand and clasped it in his.
“It will make us feel better if we do. Come on. The truck is parked a few rows down.”
Alana hugged Gia goodbye then Gunner, Garret, and Wes kissed her cheek and gave Gator and even Geno a warning look. But none of it mattered. Just being with Alana and working out these emotions did.
* * * *
They guided her to a big black truck. Not the same one that the guys had delivered her desk in a couple of weeks ago. Geno had a hand on her lower back, and Gator kept her hand encased in his. She couldn’t help it, but it seemed that these men made all her senses work overtime. She was aware of their masculinity, the scents of their colognes, and, of course, the muscles and sex appeal Geno and Gator had.
She’d been touched by only one man before, but here she was getting completely turned on by two right now. However, her mind kept springing back to Gabe and his stupid attitude. What crazy ideas were going through his head? Why did he want to push her away yet seem to want to keep her within arm’s reach without touching her or making her his again? It hurt. It really hurt.
The sound of the large truck door opening brought her mind out of the sadness and emotion for a moment. Especially as she reached up to grab the handle at the top of the door to boost her small frame up into the high seat. But then strong arms encased her lower back and under her knees, lifted her up, and placed her into the seat.
She gasped and held on to Geno.
“Scoot on over sexy. Make room for me too.”
His brown eyes sparkled, and her inner core pounded. Was that a little cream that leaked from her pussy?
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and slid along the seat, even her ass felt sensitive in her tight blue jeans.
She clasped her hands on her lap as Gator, all six feet four of muscle and man in a dark brown shirt bumped into her. She was caught between two huge-ass men, and her whole body erupted with pure lust. She was shocked as he started the engine and the roar of the diesel caused a vibration throughout the vehicle, especially to her more intimate parts. She tried to analyze the effect these men had on her as Gator drove slowly through the parking lot, but her mind couldn’t focus, wouldn’t focus on anything but the vibrations deep in her cunt and across her nipples that seemed to hum and electrify with the vibrations of the diesel e
ngine.
She gasped and turned to the right as Geno’s hand gently covered her knee.
“You’re shaking, baby. You’re safe with us, don’t you know that?” he asked her. His brown eyes, his large presence and masculinity mesmerized her as she nodded like some mute or a teenage girl infatuated with the sexy, older man.
God, and they were older. Maybe ten years, she wasn’t sure.
“How old are you guys?” she asked without thinking.
Geno squinted at her as he slowly ran the palm of his hand back and forth on her thigh. With each stroke, his hand moved higher, deeper toward her crotch. She was getting hot, feeling like moving her thighs just slightly farther apart to feel his thick fingers closer to where she seemed to want them.
“Old enough to know what naughty thoughts are going through your head right now, doll.”
She was snapped back to realty, feeling caught acting like that teenage girl instead of a grown woman who knew better how to control her own desires. She crossed her legs, forcing his hand out from her inner knee, only for him to clasp both legs and pull her closer to his steely thigh.
As she held his intense gaze, Gator took her hand and placed it on his one thigh as he drove. She was shaking now, and it became obvious how inexperienced she was.
One lover. That’s all she’d ever had, and it was Gabe, their roommate and best friend.
She began to feel panicky and tried pulling from their gentle holds.
“Easy, Alana. We just want to hold you, touch you. You’re too beautiful to resist,” Geno told her.
“I can’t do this. I don’t know how to react to this,” she said as Gator pulled the truck down her street and along the empty dirt roadway that led to Ron’s farm and house and then a minute longer before her cottage.
The American Soldier Collection 11: Mending Hearts (Siren Publishing LoveXtreme Forever) Page 7
