by Marilyn Turk
Their food arrived, and they began eating in silence. Lexie struggled to swallow, fighting the urge to cry and argue. He didn’t have to go. He wasn’t military. But he was going anyway. And she needed to support him and keep her own misgivings to herself.
“Thank God the Germans aren’t bombing England anymore.”
“Yes, thank God. I’m sure the people of England are happy about that too. Hitler’s changed his focus to other countries now.”
“Are you flying over or going out on a ship?”
“Flying. Special Services has arranged for us to leave with a convoy of military planes. Don’t worry. We won’t be in any danger.”
Who was he kidding? There was always danger, especially from the Germans, but she’d keep that thought to herself.
“I’ll pray for your safety.”
“Thanks, Lexie. And I’ll pray for yours too.”
She leaned back and twisted to face him. “My safety? I’m staying here, safe in the good old USA.” Much as she liked having him close by, she wouldn’t let him know she had any fears about him leaving.
Russell gave her his wonderful dimpled smile and winked. “Since I won’t be here to be your knight in shining armor, I have to pray for your protection while I’m gone.”
“Prayers are always welcome. But you might want to pray for me to get through school while you’re at it.”
His eyes widened. “Sorry, Lexie, I forgot to ask you. Did you get your test scores back yet?”
“Not yet, but maybe tomorrow.” She looked down at her Coke and stroked the sweating glass. “Do you know how long you’ll be gone?”
“No, I don’t. Artie didn’t know for sure. Anywhere from a week to a month, he said.”
“So you won’t be here for the Fourth of July.”
“Probably not. Are you thinking about staying here instead of going out to East Hampton with the sisters?”
“No, I’d still like to spend it with them, especially if you’re not here.”
“Sounds good. Be sure to give them hugs and kisses from me.”
“I will. What did your boss at the hotel say? Are they sore because you’re leaving?”
“They don’t like it, but they left an open door for me to come back if I want to. I just wish I had been able to give them more notice.”
Lexie glanced at the big round clock on the wall. “Russell, I need to get back to the hospital.”
He followed her gaze. “Yes, you do.”
Russell left money on the counter for their meals, then they went outside. On the sidewalk, Russell put his arms around her and drew her close. “I know it’s broad daylight, but I can’t leave you without a proper kiss.”
“If that’s the case, don’t make it too proper,” Lexie said, tilting her face to his.
Russell threw back his head and laughed, then leaned down and kissed her with as much passion as he could in a public place. When he let her go, she was dizzy from euphoria.
“Lexie, you take care, and remember I love you with my whole heart.”
“I will. I love you too. And I’ll be praying for your safety.”
He let go of her, and they parted company and headed in opposite directions. Lexie looked back at him once more when she got to the next corner, and he turned, too, and, smiling, gave her a wave. She waved back, giving her best effort to smile back at him.
Her feet were like blocks of stone as she walked back to the hospital. She caught a whiff of cigar smoke as the German baker charged by, cutting a glance at her when he passed. She had no idea why the man didn’t like her, but the feeling was mutual, even though she had a ping of guilt for being judgmental. However, she wasn’t going to waste any thoughts on that rude man. She had more important things on her mind.
Like Russell leaving. Tomorrow. It was so hard to believe. So sudden. She knew he’d been unhappy he couldn’t join the military, but she never thought he’d leave the country, never thought he’d have the opportunity. Was she being selfish to think he should stay with her while so many other women were saying goodbye to their men who were going off to fight? She didn’t dare think it wasn’t fair. War wasn’t fair.
She trudged back to her room, changed clothes, then noticed her reflection in the mirror and the sad face looking back at her. Somehow she had to change that face into a cheerful one. Speaking of not fair, life hadn’t been fair for her patients either. She wasn’t about to add to their misery by showing up with such a pitiful expression. Smile, Lexie, she commanded. As she worked the edges of her lips up into a smile, a thought struck her, slapping the smile away. What if this wasn’t his only trip with the USO? What if he liked it so much, he’d travel all over the world performing for soldiers like Bob Hope was doing? Even if she graduated early, if Russell wasn’t around, what difference would it make? When would they ever get married?
There was no doubt in her mind that Russell loved her. That’s the last thing he said. The last? She trembled at the implications. Stop it, Lexie. She couldn’t allow her mind to take that negative route. She remembered Dr. Peale’s words to change her thoughts and thereby change her world. She needed to focus on positive thoughts. Her fiancé was a wonderful man. He would be safe. He would be happy finding his place in the war. He would be doing a good thing. Meanwhile, so would she. She plastered a smile back on her face and left for the hospital.
“The humming nurse is back!” Bob exclaimed across the room when he saw her enter the ward.
That was all it took to turn Lexie’s fake smile into a genuine one. “Good afternoon, Bob.”
He waved at her, and most of the other patients waved and smiled too.
Lexie walked through the ward, checking to see what had changed since she’d been there last. Not much, except that Mo, the alcoholic was gone. He’d been released to go home. Maybe he wouldn’t end up back in the hospital. But if he did, she might not see him since he should go to the alcoholics’ ward instead. Problem was, that ward filled up too fast and overflowed onto this one.
The bed next to John Doe was empty for now. She checked in with the other patients before going to see him. Although she wanted to see him first, she didn’t want to show favoritism. When she finally got to his bedside, he seemed to be sitting up more. “Good afternoon, John. How are you today?”
His eyes focused on her, and she almost jumped back. He blinked as if answering. “Do you remember me?”
He blinked twice.
Heart pounding, she tried to stifle her surprise. “Good.” She checked his IV drip, then looked back at him. “Think maybe you’d like to try some solid food today?”
Another blink. Should she accept that as a “yes”?
“Maybe some soup or pudding?”
Another blink.
“I’ll see what I can do for your dinner tonight.”
She adjusted the blinds on the windows so more light came into the room, then checked his head. “That scar is practically gone. May I fluff your pillow?”
Blink.
She lifted his head, removed the pillow, fluffed it, then put it back under his head carefully.
“Would you like me to get you some water?”
Blink.
“I’ll be right back.”
She didn’t usually leave to get one person something since it was more efficient to do it all at once, but she wanted to find a supervisor or doctor before they left for the day and see if they could remove the IV. She hurried out the door and down the hall and found Nurse Addams.
“Is there a problem, Nurse Smithfield?”
“No, ma’am, but I think John Doe is ready to eat real food, and maybe we can remove the IV.”
The nurse raised her eyebrows. “You do? And why do you think that? Did he tell you he was hungry?”
“No, ma’am, but he communicated with his eyes. By blinking.”
“Hmmm. That so? Can you show me?”
Would John Doe show the same response to the head nurse, or would Lexie look like a fool for saying so? Nurse Ad
dams stood and walked down the hall with Lexie. When they went in, the patients glanced their way but stayed silent and turned back to what they were doing. They reached the foot of John Doe’s bed, and the head nurse approached his bedside and studied his face.
“Hello, Mr. Doe. My name is Nurse Addams. Do you remember seeing me before?”
John Doe blinked.
“You blinked. Does that mean ‘yes’?”
He blinked again, then his eyes found Lexie standing at the foot of the bed. She offered a reassuring smile.
“Nurse Smithfield here thinks you are ready to have your drip removed. Is that right?”
Blink.
“But to do that, I have to be sure you will eat. Can you open your mouth for me?”
John Doe slowly opened his mouth.
“Very good. I’ll go ahead and remove the IV, and Nurse Smithfield will bring you something easy to eat tonight. But if you don’t eat, we’ll have to put the IV back in. Do you understand?”
Two blinks. Was that an enthusiastic answer? Lexie assumed so, which gave her a thrill of excitement.
“Nurse Smithfield, go get me some Betadine, a bandage, and tape, and we’ll get this IV out.”
Lexie hurried to the utility room for the necessary supplies and returned with them. She watched as Nurse Addams removed the IV needle from John Doe’s arm and glanced at his face to see his reaction. He, too, was watching the procedure.
“Next time, Nurse Smithfield, you can do this yourself.” The head nurse nodded to Lexie, then she turned back to the patient.
“There. Your arm is free now. Can you move it?”
The arm lifted slightly off the bed.
“Good. Maybe soon, we can get the cast off your other arm.” She turned to Lexie as she stepped back from the bed. “He’s all yours now, Nurse Smithfield.”
Warmth spread over Lexie’s face as she nodded. She glanced at John Doe and thought she saw the hint of a smile on his face. There was progress in his condition, and she wanted to jump for joy but had to maintain her professional demeanor.
“You’ll remember to bring him something he can eat tonight?”
“Yes, ma’am. I thought I’d bring some soup … and some pudding.”
“Perfect. He shouldn’t have a problem getting that down, but I’m not sure he can feed himself yet. I’d say that’s up to him and how hungry he is.”
She motioned for Lexie to move toward the door. As they stepped outside the ward, she faced Lexie. “Good work in there, Nurse Smithfield. I hope he continues to progress and maybe tell us who he is. We still don’t know the extent of the injury to his brain.”
“Thank you, Nurse Addams. I’ll keep an eye on him tonight.”
“Well, it’s time for me to leave. I think it’s also time for your patients to get some exercise.”
“I’ll make sure they get it,” Lexie said.
First, though, she picked up the phone and called the kitchen and asked for some soup and pudding for John Doe’s dinner. Then, she took a few moments to look over the charts to see which patients were supposed to get what type of exercise. The weather was nice, and a good day for some of them to go to the rooftop enclosed area. She called downstairs to see if an attendant was available to accompany the patients upstairs to the ninth floor. Unlike the patients in the other wards—Disturbed, Semi-Disturbed, and Prison ward—her patients in the Quiet Male ward were more trustworthy for the activity. The eight-foot fence that surrounded the rooftop area protected and corralled them.
When Mr. Brown, the WPA attendant arrived, she took him into the ward. Without the government’s Works Progress Administration, the hospital wouldn’t have enough attendants. Lexie called out the names of the patients who could leave, then said, “Line up in front of Mr. Brown, please. It’s a beautiful day to get some fresh air.”
The patients complied, falling in line obediently.
“Mr. Brown, would you please take them up to the rooftop area? They can spend an hour there if they behave. You men, follow Mr. Brown and enjoy your time. See you in a little while.”
With a few less patients, her job should have felt less overwhelming, but with a twenty-bed ward, she still had more patients than one nurse should have to handle alone. Russell’s dimpled smile appeared in her mind, and she remembered he would be leaving tomorrow. If she were a military nurse, maybe she’d get to see him perform with the USO. What a selfish thought. She’s seen him perform many times, and the people he was going to entertain had never had the privilege.
“Nurse, aren’t you going to hum today?”
Lexie was brought back to the present. “Oh, yes, of course, if you’d like. We sang the song yesterday in church.”
She began humming “Amazing Grace” again as she checked on each patient. Ronald, an elderly man, grabbed her hand as she passed by his chair and looked up at her.
“Is that you, Dorothy? Oh, I’m so glad you came to see me. I was just telling Frank about you.”
Ronald, a patient diagnosed with senility, sat across from Thaddeus, another elderly patient with the same problem. The two often sat together, though neither knew what the other was talking about, much less each other’s names. It didn’t seem to matter, though, and at least they had company. And they were safe here. Often, older patients with senility were found roaming the streets lost. Many were brought to Bellevue because their children couldn’t or wouldn’t take care of them. Lexie’s heart went out to the men.
She wouldn’t tell Ronald she wasn’t Dorothy, his deceased wife. As far as she was concerned, there was no harm in letting him think she was. Patting him on the shoulder, she said, “Hello, Ronald. How are you today?”
“Fit as a fiddle!” He slapped his knee, then pulled down on her hand that was still clasped in his. “Come, sit with me. You must be tired after taking care of all the children.”
She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “Sorry, dear, but I must get on with my work.”
Ronald turned to Thaddeus. “That Dorothy. She’s always so busy!”
Lexie wriggled her hand free from his and moved on to the next patient. She resumed her humming as she made her way back to John Doe. “How does your arm feel, now that you can move it?”
He blinked and lifted his arm a few inches off the bed, then ran his tongue along his lips.
Lexie stared, not sure what to think of his action before it hit her. “Your water. I forgot to bring it. I’m so sorry. Be right back.”
She filled up several pitchers and grabbed paper cups before returning to the ward.
“Anyone care for some water?” She scanned the room, turning the cart toward John’s bed. Several of the men came up to her with their hands outstretched. Lexie poured some cups of water and handed them out before proceeding to John’s bed.
“Here you go.” She held the cup out. “Do you think you can take it yourself?”
A surprised look crossed his face before he reached out with his free arm.
“Here, I’ll raise your bed for you.” She moved to the end of his bed and turned the crank until the portion behind John was elevated to a sitting position.
“Let’s try,” she said and placed the cup in his hand, then covered his hand with hers to steady the cup as he lifted it to his mouth. His hand shook as he lifted his arm all the way to his face, but he managed to get the cup to his mouth with her help. He drank all the water before pushing the cup away. “Very good.” She put the cup down and straightened his sheets, humming as she worked.
As she was about to leave his bedside, his hand gripped her by the wrist. Lexie jumped, unable to veil her shock. The grip was strong, stronger than she believed he was capable of in his condition. Her heart raced, and she looked into his eyes for signs of trouble. He implored her with his eyes, and for the first time, she realized those eyes were green. But there was no hint of malice there, rather a plea. She took a deep breath, then spoke.
“Did you need something else?”
A soft, raspy voice said, “S
ing.”
One word. But the first word she’d ever heard him speak. Gathering her senses, she said, “Sing? You don’t wish me to hum?”
A slight shake of his head said “no.”
Oh dear. Her humming bothered him.
“Sing the words.”
Her heart leaped hearing him speak. “The words to ‘Amazing Grace’?”
He nodded and whispered, “Yes.”
“I’ll see if I can remember them. I read them in the hymnal just yesterday. I can’t promise you the best voice, though.”
He gave her a weak smile.
Lexie began singing, recalling as best she could the words to the hymn. “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.” John Doe closed his eyes, but the smile stayed on his lips.
At the other end of the room, Bob spoke up. “She can sing! Come over here where we can hear you better.”
Lexie gave a last glance to John Doe, wondering if he had fallen asleep or was still listening, before heading Bob’s direction. She sang a little louder, and when she finished the hymn, Bob applauded, and others joined in. They were clapping when the patients who’d left for exercise returned, provoking confused looks on their faces as well as the attendant’s. Lexie blushed at all the attention. She was not a USO star, after all.
And just like that, her thoughts returned to Russell. If only they’d had time for one more kiss before he left, but that wouldn’t be possible. She wouldn’t get off work until midnight, and he was leaving early the next morning. There wasn’t even time for a phone call. Her despair must’ve changed her expression because one of the patients called out to her. “Don’t be sad. You’re the Happy Nurse!”
She had to be. For their sakes, and for her own. She managed to return a smile to her face, where it stayed as she studied the hopeful faces watching hers.
“Is everyone ready for supper?”
Shouts of affirmation filled the room.
“All right then. Wash up over at the lavatory.” She pointed to the one sink at the end of the room. “Clear your areas so there’s space to put your trays.”
Most of the patients did as told, but a few were unable to follow instructions—either they were asleep or not processing the information. She picked up a washcloth and wet it, added some soapy water, then wrung it out. Then she went to the patients who didn’t go wash their hands on their own and wiped their hands for them. She also wiped off John Doe’s hands the same way.
