by Jamie Wesley
…
The front door slammed behind Noelle. Tate flinched at the finality of the sound. Of the action. Laughter and music drifted in from the ballroom, but he couldn’t go back in there. Not when it felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest and sent through a paper shredder. Didn’t she realize he’d ended things for her? So she could find someone worthy of love, who could return it wholeheartedly. Someone who believed that love existed. Someone who knew what love was.
“Tate,” his mother called out.
He turned. His parents watched him from the ballroom’s entryway, matching concerned looks on their faces. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Shouldn’t you be enjoying the reception?”
His mom reached his side. “Not when we can see you hurting.”
His father patted him on his back and exchanged glances with his wife. “Let’s talk.”
Tate shook his head. “I’m fine.”
“Honey, no, you’re not,” his mom said. “And we know why. Come with us.”
Nonplussed, Tate followed his parents to what had once been and probably was again, his father’s study. The faint aroma of cigar smoke hit him as soon as he stepped inside. One of his few good childhood memories centered on his mom pretending not to notice her husband indulging his vice in his study. If she never stepped foot in the room, then she didn’t know.
His parents sat in the pair of leather armchairs across from the fireplace. Feeling like the kid who’d gotten in trouble for pulling a prank on the old geezer next door, he faced his parents.
“Tate, who was that woman?” his father asked.
“Dad, I introduced you. She’s my former cohost.”
“Yes, but excuse us for suspecting she’s more than that. I didn’t see any of your other coworkers here. Your face lit up when you spotted her. Now she’s gone, and you look like someone stole your lunch money.”
Tate shrugged. Talking about his love life to his parents was weird enough. He had no desire to relive how the situation had blown up in his face.
His parents exchanged another glance. It was strange watching them communicate without words. During their first marriage, any conversation that ended without a screaming match was cause for concern. They’d claimed they fought to make up. Until the fighting became too much.
“We owe you an apology,” Dad said.
Surprise jolted through him. “For what?”
“For not giving you the childhood you deserved. For using you as the rope in our tug-of-war.”
Tate stared at his parents, his jaw dropping open. Were they finally acknowledging their faults after all these years?
“For not putting you first,” his mom added. “For not setting a good example for you.”
Apparently, they were. Tate clicked his jaw shut and listened.
“We got so caught up in our drama that we forgot you were there watching and, unfortunately, learning from us. I’m sure you knew the word ‘dysfunctional’ by the time you were five,” Ben said.
Unsure of how to respond, Tate shrugged again.
Mom sighed. “It took decades of soul-searching for your father and I to realize and admit the person we first chose to spend our life with was the right person all along.”
His father reached for his wife’s hand. “We finally grew up, but not before we damaged you.”
“I listened to the show the past few weeks, and I cringed every time you said you didn’t believe in love,” she said. “We did that to you. We’re so sorry.”
The lingering resentment he’d never been able to rid himself of finally melted away. His parents had, indeed, grown up. “I know you are, and I appreciate it, but it doesn’t matter,” Tate said. “She deserves someone who can love her wholly and fully. Who knows how to.” His voice broke. “Someone better than me.”
His mother jumped up from her seat and cupped his cheek. “Oh, honey. I don’t believe that for a second. You wouldn’t either if you saw the look on your face. Please don’t let our mistakes keep you from the best thing to ever happen to you. Don’t let fear hold you back. Go after all your dreams, guns blazing.”
The comment, so similar to Noelle’s, jarred him. “It’s complicated.”
His father joined them at the fireplace. “Tate, we weren’t the best parents, but I know we didn’t raise a dumb kid. You’ve always been stubborn, no more so than when you struck out on your own after college, instead of joining Grayson Electronics. I worried you were making your life harder than it needed to be, but I never thought you were dumb. Bullheaded, yes. Dumb, no.”
Tate’s jaw tightened. “I’m not being dumb. I’m being realistic.”
“Realistic?” his mother questioned, nestling into her husband’s side. “Interesting word choice. I want to ask you something, but only if you promise to be one hundred percent honest.”
Tate nodded. He could do that. Lying was rarely, if ever, an option for him. The truth was always a better option. Even if it hurt like hell. “I promise.”
“How does Noelle make you feel when you’re with her?”
The question sucked all the air out of his lungs. But he’d promised honesty, and he would deliver. He spoke from his gut. “She makes me feel strong…understood.” Feelings that had been living close to his heart for close to a month. Since the start of their show.
“And?” his mother prodded.
Images of Noelle laughing with him, talking with him about anything and everything, encouraging him, accepting him, played through his mind like the highlights from the Cowboys’ last Super Bowl victory.
Loved,” he whispered, the truth hitting him in the chest like a sledgehammer.
His mother nodded, like she’d expected his answer. “Do you want to spend the rest of your life without the woman who makes you feel that way? Is it realistic to think that her disappearance from your life won’t eat at you day after day?”
Tate closed his eyes for a second. “No.”
“She makes you feel loved,” his father said. “The real question is do you love her?”
The question wasn’t unexpected. Neither was his answer. The truth was so damn obvious. How had he been blind for so long?
“Yes. I love her. More than I could ever express.” Relief, joy, love filled his heart as he said the words out loud for the first time.
His dad thumped him on the chest. “Then I suggest you do something about it.”
“I’m already one step ahead of you.”
Chapter Sixteen
Noelle drained her cup of coffee while the last commercial played. She needed to get it together. Now. But sleepless nights weren’t conducive to a bright mind. God, what had possessed her to go to that wedding? Talk about an epic disaster.
If Tate regretted breaking up, he’d shown no signs of it. At least not during his show, which she listened to every day like the masochist she was. He sounded the same. No regrets. No sadness in his voice. Nothing that would indicate he felt a tenth of the pain that consumed her every waking day. Not even her callers, usually her safe havens, could make her feel better.
Just when she’d come to grips with the pain and guilt from the past, she landed flat on her butt again. Trying to convince a man who didn’t believe in love that he, in fact, did love you, yeah, that was the height of stupidity. The pinnacle. Mount Everest. But nooo, she’d thought she was so smart. Had the degrees to prove it.
Noelle gripped the porcelain mug between her hands, needing something, anything, to hold on to.
Nothing good had come out of her experience with Tate.
She forcefully shook her head.
No, that wasn’t entirely true. Yesterday, after looking herself in the mirror and wincing at red eyes staring back at her, she’d dried her tears, pulled her shoulders back, and given herself a stern talking-to. It had taken courage to admit her feelings to him and go after what she wanted. More importantly, it had felt right. No longer would she live her life afraid of what might happen if she didn’t maintain one hundred p
ercent control at every moment. She was deserving of love. Somewhere out there, a man existed who would love her as much as she loved him. She’d find him. Someday. As soon as she got over the immense pain weighing her down. As soon as she got over the man she would have sworn was the love of her life. Yeah. As soon as that happened.
Caitlin sent her another look full of worry and held up her hand to count down to the commercial break’s end. Well, that was the only good thing to come out of this mess. Caitlin was the only one who knew about her stupidity, so she didn’t have to endure the poor-girl whispers. Instead, coworkers and listeners constantly asked if she’d considered extending the TAN Show’s run because they had such amazing chemistry blah, blah, blah. Lucky her.
But going over this for the millionth time wasn’t helping her mindset one iota. “Welcome back to Noelle Knows. Today, we’re discussing the downside of love—when you’ve done everything you can, when you’ve done the counseling—but you’re faced with the decision to end it. How do you know when it’s the right time? Let’s go to Barbara in Mansfield. What do you think, Barbara?”
“I believe in love. I love my boyfriend…”
“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming?”
Barbara sighed. “Because there’s one coming. I love him, but I don’t think I can do it anymore. We fight all the time about everything. Money, what to eat for dinner, the best way to handle our parents, sex. You name it. We fight about it.”
“Have you considered therapy?”
“We’ve gone, but we end up arguing more. My brain is telling me it’s over, but my heart doesn’t want to feel like a failure. How many chances do I give him?”
“There is no magic number. Every situation is different. It sounds like you two have taken steps to repair the rift. However, when there are still significant differences, then you have to give serious consideration to ending it. By significant, I don’t mean getting annoyed because he doesn’t understand that dirty dishes belong in the dishwasher and not the sink. It sounds like that’s where you are.”
“I am.” Exasperation filled her voice.
Noelle nodded. “This is what I know. You can do this. It will hurt like hell, but you’re a strong woman who isn’t defined by her relationship status. As much as I advocate love and working things out, sometimes love isn’t enough.”
It definitely wasn’t for her. Thank goodness she had her work to rely on. To prop her up. To distract her. Even if it had been doing a piss-poor job of it lately.
“Good luck, Barbara.” She glanced at the computer. “The next caller is Mark in Dallas. What do you think, Mark?”
“It’s obvious you told the last caller what she wanted to hear. Aren’t you love’s biggest cheerleader?”
Everything went blank. Her mind emptied. Her heart stopped. Tate.
She looked at Caitlin, who frowned and frantically gestured for her to talk.
Noelle gripped the console with shaky hands. “I never tell my listeners what they want to hear. I tell them what they need to hear. Love can drive us to be better people, but that doesn’t mean that every relationship is loving and positive. Love shouldn’t blind you.”
“No, it shouldn’t.” His voice, so sexy, so smooth, so familiar, rumbled in her ear. She wasn’t strong enough for this. Not even close. Why was he torturing her?
“That’s what I thought,” she muttered.
“Love shouldn’t blind you. It should uplift. If you’re in love, then you need to work hard to make the relationship work.”
What? Where was this coming from? Where was he going with this? “Yes, but if both parties aren’t willing to work, then it’s time to call it quits.”
“Can I tell you what I know?”
Noelle sucked in a shaky breath. “Sure. Why not?”
“This is what I know. Love can scare a man, especially when he doesn’t see it coming.”
Breathe, Noelle. “Y-yes, it can.”
“This is what I know. I need to tell the lady in my life what she means to me. She knows me better than anyone I’ve ever known.”
She blinked rapidly, holding the tears at bay. Barely.
“She’s the bravest person I know,” he added. “She always remains true to herself, even when she knows others might not want to hear what she has to say. She’s the smartest person I know. She’s the most kindhearted person I know. She’s been through a lot, but has never let the bad times beat her.”
Oh, God. Tears slipped unchecked down her cheeks. “Why are you doing this to me?”
The studio door opened behind her. She whirled around.
Tate took a step toward her, his phone held to his ear. “Because I can’t live without you.”
She shook her head, unable to trust this was real. “You can’t do this to me. I’m going to Chicago, remember?”
“I’m hoping you’ll reconsider.”
Ignoring the way her heart leaped at his request, Noelle wiped the tears away. “After everything that’s happened? I don’t see how that’s possible.”
Tate moved closer, his amber eyes pleading. “Hear me out. Remember how you told me I was scared and that I needed to go after my dreams?”
“Yes.” Absolutely. Like she’d said it a minute ago.
“I bought the station.”
She blinked, her brain scrambling to keep up with the conversation. “What? You did? What do you know about running a station?”
“Well, I have worked here for four years,” he said, his tone full of humor. “I’ve picked up a thing or two. And I did run a business, a very successful one, I might add, for almost six years. What I don’t know I’ll learn.”
“That’s great, I guess, but what does that have to do with me?”
“I’m also buying Voices Media stations in Houston, Little Rock, and New Orleans.”
Her eyes widened. “Wow. That’s quite a commitment.”
“Yes. I’m hoping you’ll join me in the commitment.”
Still having trouble latching onto anything solid that made sense, Noelle frowned. “You want me to help you buy radio stations?”
“No, I want you to stay and syndicate your show. You’ll have more listeners in a wider area than you ever would in Chicago.” He reached out with his left hand. “Doc, please. I love you.”
Stunned, it took Noelle a second to digest everything. He’d just said the words she’d longed to hear. Plus, he was offering her an incredible career opportunity and she wasn’t required to take the Chicago radio gig to get the book deal. A dream come true. Bliss tap-danced through her veins.
And yet she ordered herself to rein in her joy. Not to take his hand. As much as she was dying to jump into his arms, she couldn’t. Simply accepting his words at face value wasn’t an option. She had to protect herself.
She swallowed hard. Ordered herself to look him in the eye. “When did you come to these conclusions, Tate? You made it clear you didn’t love me when I told you how I felt after the game and when I showed up at your parents’ wedding.”
He closed the remaining gap between them, tossing his phone on the console, and stroked her cheek. “I’m so sorry for all that. You’ll never know how much. I hope you can forgive me. Believe me, I loved you the night you told me how you felt. Telling you otherwise was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I was scared.”
She stared up at him with wide eyes. “Of what? Me?”
Tate shook his head. “No, I was scared I wouldn’t be able to love you the way you deserve. I had no good examples of love growing up. I’d never been in love before. You needed someone who would treat you right and cherish you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “And you didn’t think that person was you? If I didn’t love you, I’d kick your butt.”
He blinked. “Huh? What?”
“Everything you did for me. Coming to my parents’ grave so I wouldn’t be alone. Taking me on the city tour to cheer me up. Rescuing me from that creep at the club. Making me laugh on a daily basis. That’s love. Being ther
e for and with someone through the good times and the bad.”
“Oh.” He looked so adorable as the truth dawned on him.
“Yes. Oh.” She poked him in the chest. “Don’t talk bad about yourself. You’re way too arrogant for that. I love you, even if you infuriate me more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Still? Even after I screwed everything up?”
Her heart melted at the vulnerability he didn’t try to mask. “I see I still have some things to teach you. Yes, I still love you. It doesn’t turn on and off like a faucet. It never will.”
A blinding grin broke across his face. “Can I get that in writing?”
Unable to, and more importantly, unwilling to temper her joy any longer, Noelle wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back against the strong arms enclosing around her waist. “Probably. But first tell me about buying the station.”
“I have the money and was looking for a new challenge. Besides, I enjoy the radio business.”
“I believe a smart woman suggested you find something that would challenge you.”
“Yes, she did.”
“So, you’re happy doing it?” She searched his eyes, knowing the truth would be there.
He met her gaze straight on. “Yes. I’ve already dug in. I’m only missing one thing—an uppity psychologist to give love advice to the masses.”
She stuck out her tongue. “Better than the structure-hating sports talk show host.”
“I think they’re both needed.”
She leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss. “You might be right. I’m happy to offer my services. Seems I’m forever having to rescue you.”
“Doc, you have no idea. You’re everything I could want and more. You’re the one who taught me how to love. That love existed. You deserve everything good that could come your way, and I want to be the one who gives it to you.”
As he said the words she hadn’t realized she needed him to say, any remaining doubts she might have had melted away. He truly understood her and loved her for who she was. “I love you, too.”
“So are you on board?”
