Blaze looked up as the leaves suddenly rustled above his head. A man dressed in a yellow and white suit, with a soft, golden glow surrounding his form descended from the night sky.
“Helios,” he greeted him shortly.
“Hello, Blaze.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you, so I had Caleb track you down for me.”
Blaze crossed his arms over his chest. “You found me. Talk.”
Floating in mid-air, Helios clasped his hands behind his back, looking for all the world like a professor about to give a lecture. “I’d like you to reconsider joining our team. You have skills and knowledge that would be of great use to us, and the city of St. Louis.”
“I’m not interested.”
“It would be beneficial to you as well.”
“I’m not interested,” Blaze repeated.
“Why not?” Helios asked with a frown drawing his brows together. “You’ve worked with most of the heroes in town at one point or another. Why not make it official?”
“Because I do this gig on my own terms. I don’t want to punch a clock for some corporate superhero overlord.”
“It won’t be like that. Our main goal will be coordinating our efforts more effectively. Imagine how the situation at the Arch would have gone if you’d had one of the flyers there with you from the beginning.”
Blaze clenched his jaw. Helios had a point. If he or Ignite had been there the chances of Danny nearly falling to his death would have been near zero. It didn’t matter now. He’d ended things with Danny so he wouldn’t have to worry about his involvement in any future life or death situations. From now on, the only crimes he needed to focus on were ones that he wasn’t personally involved in.
“Look. I see your point about having coordinated teams. And I appreciate that you think I can bring something worthwhile to the table. But I’m not interested in being part of a group, or the face of hope for the city. If you guys need me on occasion, I’ll step in and help out. But that’s the extent of my involvement.”
Disappointment was clear on Helios’s face. “I understand. Thanks for hearing me out.” He turned to go, slowly drifting away.
Blaze called out to him. “Helios.” The hero stopped, looking over his shoulder with an expectant expression. Blaze didn’t care that he was about to burst his hopeful bubble. “Don’t come here again. I don’t want to draw attention to him.”
Helios’s face fell into disappointed lines again. “You’re here,” he pointed out.
“I blend into the night. You’re powered by the fucking sun.”
Helios sighed. He dimmed his glow completely and returned to Blaze’s side. “I’ve lost someone I love too. Unfortunately, he is truly gone and I’m not getting him back. Ever. You’re lucky. Your love is still alive, and you have a chance to make things work with him. Don’t waste that opportunity in favor of brooding.”
“I’m not brooding.” Blaze snapped.
Helios raised an eyebrow. “You’re crouched in a tree in the dark, staring into his bedroom window.”
Beneath his helmet, the tips of Blaze’s ears burned. “Whatever. I didn’t break up with Danny so I could brood. I did it to keep him safe.”
“The team can help with that too. Come by anytime and let us show you what we can do to keep him and all of your loved ones safe. If you don’t like what we have to say we won’t try to get you to join again.”
Blaze didn’t answer.
“Think about it,” Helios said before flying off.
Blaze watched as the streak of gold arced overhead, headed toward downtown. When he looked in Danny’s window again, the room had gone dark. He could just barely make out the outline of Danny’s sleeping form. Blaze sat there for a few minutes more, drinking in the sight of his former lover. This was the only time he would do this. After tonight, he wouldn’t come here again. Wouldn’t see Danny again.
He looked his fill for several long moments. Then, with a silent goodbye to the man he loved, Blaze dropped out of the tree, and disappeared into the night.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
D
anny decided to hit up a late-night spin class. After doing nothing but working and moping for days, he’d realized he needed to get out of the house and into a better headspace. If he didn’t, his time at Geek Fest would be a bust. Nobody wanted to buy art from a cranky dude in a booth. Twenty minutes into the class, he was definitely experiencing a change in mindset. He didn’t know if it was the aggressive music they were playing tonight or what but his mood had shifted from sad to mad.
As he pedaled to the driving beats of hard rap and screaming emo rock, he grew angrier and angrier. A little at himself. A lot at Jordan. If this were a movie, he’d be at the start of his origin story metamorphosis, and become a hardened, bitter crime fighter in his own right.
Sweat dripped into his eyes. He ignored the burn, refusing to slow down long enough to wipe his brow. It was his fault that Jordan had to keep saving him, right? Because he was helpless. Couldn’t fight. Didn’t know how to handle a weapon. It was too dangerous for someone as weak as him to be with a superhero. Bullshit. He’d never made any claims at being a fighter. Jordan knew that and shouldn’t have wasted his time if he wanted a fellow vigilante he didn’t have to worry about for his lover.
Danny clenched his teeth, baring them in a silent growl as he followed the instructor’s directions. He rose up off his bike seat, leaning forward and pedaling even faster as they raced down an imaginary straightaway. His thigh muscles were screaming nearly as loud as the music by the time he lowered his butt back to the seat, taking one hand off the bike to rage-pump his fist in the air along with the rest of the class. Then it was back to a steady, furious pace, the bass thumping so hard his ear drums vibrated with it.
Jordan’s self-sacrificing hero act was bullshit. It was an out, an easy way for him to end things between them because he didn’t know how to handle his own demons. Why do the work to face old trauma when you can avoid it by dumping your boyfriend in the name of keeping him safe instead? Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Danny pedaled even faster.
“All right everybody, let’s cool it down with an easy ride around a quiet lake.”
Danny looked up in surprise at the class leader’s instructions. Disappointment swamped him when the music changed to something that sounded like it belonged in a classy elevator. Damnit, he wasn’t ready to cool down. He wanted to keep riding until his fury burned itself and the hurt no longer sliced through his heart. Unfortunately, the class was coming to an end. He reluctantly slowed his roll and cooled down along with everyone else.
After the music stopped and the instructor thanked everyone for coming, Danny got a towel and wiped off his stationary bike. He was taking a drink from his water bottle when a guy about his age came up to him.
“Wow, you were a beast on that bike today.”
Danny swallowed and wiped some of the sweat from his face before he responded. “Thanks. I guess I had a lot of energy to burn.”
“Sometimes it’s like that,” the man said with a friendly grin.
Danny smiled politely and grabbed his gym bag. “Have a good night.” He stepped around the guy and made his way through the gym to the front doors. The warm night air was sticky on his sweaty skin as he left the cool air conditioning behind.
Ready to get home and jump in the shower, Danny headed straight for the parking lot down and across the street where he’d left his car. He’d just stepped up onto the opposite curb when footsteps rushed up behind him. Danny tensed. Screw this. He wasn’t waiting to get attacked this time. He went on the offensive, spinning around and swinging his gym bag wide as he yelled. “Get back!”
Too late, he recognized the guy from class who’d chatted him up. Danny couldn’t stop the momentum of his swing but luckily the guy jumped out of the way before he got whacked in the face with a canvas duffle bag.
“Hey! Sorry, dude. I didn’t mean to scare you. I
was going to ask if you wanted to get an after-class smoothie.”
“Oh!” Danny felt like a complete fool. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been attacked a lot recently and I thought you were a criminal sneaking up on me and this time I wanted to be ready to fight and uh... yeah.” Danny stopped talking. It wasn’t like he could explain his run-ins with St. Louis’s villains to a random stranger. And since the guy was slowly backing away with his hands up, it was clear the smoothie invitation was off the table.
“Okay. Well... you have a good night.”
He hurried off, casting a look back over his shoulder at Danny as if to make sure he wasn’t going to be followed and attacked again.
Danny groaned in frustration. He didn’t want to go out with that guy. But he didn’t want it spread around spin class that he was a paranoid weirdo who assaulted people with gym bags either. Shaking his head, he continued on to his car.
Right before he reached the parking lot, he passed by a short break between two buildings. Something made him stop. Maybe it was the way the hair lifted on his arms. Or the heavy shadow that moved just enough to catch his eye. Whatever it was, he knew who lurked there hidden from sight. He turned and faced the darkness.
“Why are you here?”
A disembodied voice floated out from the alleyway. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
Danny’s eyes went wide before narrowing with renewed anger. “You don’t get to do that. I don’t need or want you following me around the city like a shadowy bodyguard. You think I want that? Knowing you’re out there watching me even though we can’t be together? Sorry, I’m not down with the tortured lovers separated by fate routine.”
His blood started pumping as hot as it had when he’d been on that bike. Danny stepped into the dark alley. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of light, he was able to distinguish Jordan from the rest of the shadows. Once Danny could see him clearly, he walked right up to stand stood toe to toe with him. The mask hid most of Jordan’s face and Danny couldn’t read his eyes, reminding him of the night they’d first met.
“You’re stuck. Stuck here in the dark. Stuck behind that mask. You won’t let yourself move on or forgive yourself for your past and that’s not a ride I want to be on. So, I guess you were right to break up with me.”
“Danny-.”
“No!” He raised a hand and poked Jordan in the chest, right in the center of the Blaze logo. “You didn’t let me talk last time. But since you decided to stalk me, you can do me the courtesy of listening to me now.”
Jordan nodded once, lips pressed together in a firm line as if he were holding himself back from speaking.
“You know what really stings? The fact that you didn’t want to try any other options to keep me safe. Back when Lattimer hacked me, Caleb said he could help with my security. Did you think of trying that first?”
“No.”
“Of course not,” Danny said as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Scott suggested that I learn self-defense. Did you think of teaching me to protect myself?”
“You told Scott?”
“I didn’t. He’s smart, he figured it out. Now answer the question. Did you think of teaching me self-defense?”
“No.”
“And I know you didn’t consider giving up your life as Blaze. Before you say anything, I don’t want or expect you to. But the fact that you saw a problem in our relationship and your immediate solution was to dump me hurts!” His voice rose at the end until he was near shouting. Danny had to take a second to calm himself so he didn’t keep yelling, and draw attention to them in the alley. “If you really cared about me — if you really wanted us to be together, you’d find a way to make it happen. But you gave up so easily, I don’t see how you could have meant it the night you told me that you loved me.”
Jordan’s eyes widened behind his mask. “You heard that?” he asked in surprise.
It pained him to admit that he’d heard Jordan’s confession only to later doubt that it was real. His jaw tight, Danny nodded.
“I’m sorry. As your boyfriend, as your Dom, I was supposed to keep you safe. I failed too many times, and I didn’t want it to happen again.
With fury still sizzling in his veins, Danny struck out with a verbal hit. “You were never my Dom. Since you never bothered to follow through and claim me.”
Jordan recoiled as if Danny had physically struck him.
Danny immediately regretted the harsh words. They might not have ever made it official, but Jordan had always been a wonderful and caring Dom to him. “I’m sorry. That was low.” He brought his hand back up to Jordan’s chest, but this time rather than poke him, he let his palm rest over Jordan’s heart. “I wanted to hurt you because I’m hurting and that was wrong.”
Jordan gently grasped his hand and raised it to his mouth to kiss Danny’s fingers.
“Don’t apologize. I deserved that.”
Suddenly tired, Danny leaned in to rest his head on Jordan’s chest. “I don’t want to exchange hurts. I just want us to be together.”
Jordan stroked his back, the slow caress soothing Danny’s remaining anger away.
“Why can’t I stay away from you?”
The question was soft and low, as if Jordan was speaking to himself. Danny lifted his head and answered him anyway. “Maybe because you’re not supposed to.”
“I can’t put your life at risk. It’s too dangerous.”
Danny managed a small teasing smile. “Didn’t I tell you you’re not the boss of me? You don’t get to decide what’s too dangerous for me. I make that decision, no one else.” He paused to take a fortifying breath before his next words. So far, he’d only said them when his defenses were down from passion or exhaustion. It was time to be clear and upfront with his feelings.
“I love you, Jordan. And I want to be with you. If you feel the same way, you’ll figure out how to get around the blocks between us. The blocks here in the present regarding my safety. And the emotional ones from your past.”
Jordan’s grip tightened for the length of a heartbeat but he didn’t otherwise react to Danny’s mention of his past.
“Please think about what’s more important to you, being with the man you love or holding on to fear and guilt.”
Danny didn’t want to go, but he’d said all he had to say. Now it was up to Jordan to make his own decision. He pulled his hand free from Jordan’s gentle hold, turned around, and walked away from him with his head held high.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
J
ordan did think. For days after his alleyway discussion with Danny, he’d hardly done anything else. And he’d come to a realization. He might be the superhero, but Danny had all the power over him. The power to make him smile and laugh. The power to bring him out of the shadows and dark and into the light. The power to help him care about something more than work and fighting bad guys.
He didn’t want to give Danny up. The nights returning home to someone that he loved had been the best nights since... the best nights since before he’d become enhanced. Going back to cold sheets and an empty apartment had sucked away all the joy he’d experienced during his brief time with his lover. Jordan wanted laughter in his home and donuts on Sundays and passionate sex and love. He wanted Danny’s love.
Jordan was determined to give their relationship another chance. But his first priority was Danny’s safety. He wouldn’t approach him again until that was addressed. Which meant, he would have to give up working in solitude and reach out for help.
He got in the car and drove to the old firehouse. Strong was there, along with Caleb. The two of them sat together at the table upstairs, jotting down notes from whatever they were discussing on yellow legal pads. They looked up when Jordan walked in.
“I knew you’d be back,” Caleb said with a knowing grin.
Jordan sat down at the table and crossed his arms over his chest. “Don’t be smug. Tell me how you can protect Danny if I join.”
Caleb hopped u
p from his chair, clearly excited to share what he’d been working on.
“We’re coming up with lots of stuff that can help. First, like I mentioned after his accounts were hacked, we’ll tighten up his online security. All of his accounts — banking, social media, cell phone — will be encrypted. Any personal details that aren’t necessary for his job, such as his address, will disappear from the internet. And I can have a First Family worthy security system installed in his house and connected to our network by the end of the week.”
Also, we’re working out the protocols to get the entire team involved on rescue if any of our families are ever attacked. And we bought a safe house. It’ll be able to withstand an apocalypse by the time I’m finished with it. Last, anyone you guys deem close enough to need protection will receive one of these.”
Caleb reached down and dug around in his bag. He came up with a white box, and opened it to reveal a slim silver watch. “If the black button is pushed, it will send a silent alert both to headquarters and to the appropriate hero. And of course, it’s got a tracking chip in it.” Caleb paused in the list of security measures he was rattling off to eye Jordan. “You already have a tracker on him, don’t you?”
“I did. I haven’t replaced it.”
Caleb snorted. “Why doesn’t that surprise me? Anyway, you’ll need to get his consent for all of this, including the tracker.”
“I will.”
Strong finally spoke up. “Does that mean you’re on board?”
Jordan looked at his former mentor. He’d suspected that Helios hadn’t shown up to talk to him of his own accord. “Why’d you send Helios to try and convince me to join instead of Nina or Rob?” Strong’s answer confirmed his suspicion.
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