by Nikki Turner
“No. I would like to see Miss Shelton. I don’t have time to waste in here and I am certainly not going to be getting any younger the longer this takes.” Me-Ma planted herself at that desk her expression told the woman everything she needed to know so as she called Lauryn and also sent her a quick e-mail to let her know that keeping this particular person waiting didn’t seem like the best idea. And just as Me-Ma had made up her mind to go off on a tangent the door flung open and there stood Lauryn Shelton, looking just like her mother and grandmother. Poor thing, thought Me-Ma.
“Mrs. Banks, Reverend Street told me to take very good care of you.” Lauryn grinned up at Me-Ma who couldn’t help wishing that God had been a little kinder to that young lady when it came time to hand out the looks, particularly when it came to that man size nose fighting for space on her tiny face. Oh well, at least she was smart enough to have focused on the things she could do something about like her career.
Miss Shelton wasn’t completely unattractive it’s just that her eyes were set too close together and not to sharp on her nose, but the size and shape appeared better suited to a more masculine profile, but she seemed nice and that went a long way in life, at least that’s how Me-Ma thought. By the time she left that office having handled all her legal issues Mrs. Banks felt relieved that her daughter and all four of her granddaughters would be provided for exactly as she wanted after she shuffled off the mortal coil. “Mama,” Deidra stood up from her perch on the porch as her mother stepped out of a freshly painted Lincoln town car. Miss Shelton had insisted on having the company driver bring Me-Ma home after they finished with her appointment. Me-Ma had originally planned on taking the bus back, but darkness had fallen by the time they finished with all the paperwork. It had taken a lot longer than she expected to cover all the things she needed to in her will. Normally these things were handled in stages, but Me-Ma let Lauryn Shelton know that she didn’t plan on wasting any more time coming back and forth for that hourly wage and that she wanted to take care of everything in one day. Considering how dark it was when they finished, Me-Ma agreed to the ride home after Miss Shelton re-assured her that she wouldn’t be billed for it.
“Where you coming from?” her daughter questioned as if their roles were reversed and it was Deidra and not Me-Ma who was the mother. Her daughter grew immediately suspicious especially because everybody knew that Mrs. Banks would never spring for the luxury of a car service.
“Oh, nothing. I was just visiting one of the gals from church and she sent me home in that thing. Her mother waved it off as if it was nothing. Me-Ma didn’t feel guilty about her little fib. After all it wasn’t exactly a lie and it was close to the truth than a lot of other things she could have said. Besides, Mrs. Banks didn’t see how it would be any of Deidra’s business for her to have to explain her whereabouts to her daughter.
“Uh-hum,” she muttered not that great at pretending to feign interest in the affairs of others even her own mother or children.
“I wish I knew you were coming. I would have cooked a big meal and I would have told the girls. Right now I have no idea where they are for me to tell them you’re out here.” Me-Ma unlocked the door to let her only daughter inside. “If you’re hungry I can fix you something quick to eat. It won’t take too long and from the way you’re looking you need to eat something.”
“I wish mama, but I can’t stay too long. Lenny is waiting for me,” Deidra insisted. This Lenny happened to be the new guy, Me-Ma wasn’t sure he’d last with her daughter long enough for them to meet. Her daughter never seemed to have a shortage of suitors, but sometimes the rotation happened so close together that she didn’t have much time to get comfortable with the last person.
“This Lenny? Is he a good man? Is he nice to you? Treat you good?” Her mother hovered and couldn’t help , but ask twenty questions still trying to form a stronger bond than the one that broke all those years ago.
“He’s great. But he’s having a hard time lately. The economy in this climate is hard on Black men,” Deidra sounded like she was reading off of a political cheat sheet. She followed her mother into the kitchen and watched as she began to remove pots from the refrigerator and place them on the stove.
“Mama! What are you doing? I told you I can’t stay and eat!” Deidra interrupted her mother as she excitedly began to prepare a meal to feed her daughter.
“Yes, baby girl,” Me-Ma used the pet name her husband had coined shortly after Deidra had come home from the hospital. “I’ma have this food on the table before you know it.” Her mother jumped the gun, fighting to keep her daughter there at least until her grandkids returned. If she had been right about Tallhya’s Walter being the same one from the newspaper, Tallhya would surely need her mother and it would be nice if for once it could be the one who brought her into this world.
“I don’t have time to eat. I got to go and meet Len,” Deidra insisted becoming anxious as she paced the length of the kitchen floor. “See, we were trying to get enough money together to turn our luck around.” Her mother froze in her spot as she realized that this visit mirrored all the others and nothing about it was personal. Deidra only showed up when she needed something and no matter how much Me-Ma wanted to think otherwise it always proved to be the cause. She needed to borrow money; money that she would never pay back even though she insisted that it was just a loan. Deidra was always full of empty promises. Once again, money proved to be the only reason her daughter ever bothered to show up.
“The girls are doing good by the way,” Me-Ma said, ignoring Deidra’s request for money. “Well, not really actually. They all going through stuff—heavy stuff. They sure could use a bit more of your time Dee, especially Simone. Don’t know if you heard, but she had just gotten a job working at the bank when it got robbed the other day. Scared the poor girl half to death. She aint been back to work since and I’m not so sure she should go back.” The whole time Me-Ma talked Deidra began to pace, if not pacing she was fidgeting with her hands. She wasn’t about the pressure to be nothing to nobody and her mother trying to make her feel guilty had actually started to annoy the fuck out of her. See, she thought, that’s why I don’t come up in here people always wanting something from me. Course the irony of her being there skipped right over her head.
“I don’t see how Miss Priss has any choice.” Deidra sucked her teeth just thinking about her oldest daughter who aint never had to do nothing she didn’t want to thanks to that father of hers.
“Please won’t you wait and talk to her,” Me-Ma kept trying to get her hard-hearted daughter to spend more time with her own girls. She knew that they were all grown, but she knew that they still needed a mother, even one as selfish and narcissistic as Deidra.
“Humh! She better keep that job so she can meet a rich man, whose gonna take care of her. That’s what’s wrong with that girl. Sisi ain’t thinking about that. She already hit the lottery with Simon for a father. Hell, if his ass had been as generous to me as he was with her I woulda stayed with him.” Deidra thought about Simon always coming home from his grass fertilizer business with dirt under his nails. She liked her men pretty decked out in fine clothes and she liked them to take her places and all he could talk about was building his business. Those suckers always talk about getting that money and she didn’t have any reason to believe he’d strike it rich any more than the other’s who talked a big game to get into her pants.
“He really did love that girl. Shame he’s gone.” Me-Ma shook her head.
“I woulda thought she’d hit the jackpot when he died, but I guess he wasn’t as in love with his child as we all thought.” Deidra laughed real nasty and petty. You could feel the jealousy shooting out of her. “Didn’t leave his only child one damn iron dime now she back sucking on your tit just another mouth to feed.” Deidra shook her head at the pure disappointment of her daughter’s situation. When she heard that Simon passed she had expected to get in on some of Simone’s inheritance, but that proved to be one more damn disappoi
ntment. She had always warned these girls that you can’t trust none of these men, but they all had rocks between their ears.
“No, he loved that girl. It was that wife who stole that chile’s money.”
“Whatever.” Deidra snapped she had lost all interest in talking about this nonsense. She had to address her own needs and get moving. She went over to her mother and snuggled her head into the crook of her neck the way she’d done since she was little. “Mama, I need you to loan me some money? Just ’til I can get on my feet?” Me-Ma smiled like the thought of giving her child and some anonymous man money one more time didn’t break her heart. That smile had to be the only thing standing between her and tears streaming down her face. But just ’cause she always said yes didn’t mean she wasn’t planning on getting something out of it for herself.
“Baby girl, you wanna go with us to church this Sunday? It would mean so much to me. I can give you some money today and more after the service. That way I’d have time to get to the bank,” Me-Ma knew that her daughter’s Achilles Heel was money. She didn’t care what it took, but if she had been praying that one visit with the Lord would turn her daughter’s life around. She’d seen God work plenty of miracles and as long as she lived she would always pray for the deliverance of her only child.
“Sure mama, I will go with you to church. Maybe I can get Len to come with me. You’d really like him.” Deidra’s lie swelled up her mother’s hope but in actuality all she wanted was to get that money and get her ass up out of there. Being in that house riled up feelings of discomfort and sadness, emotions Deidra spent her life running from man to man to avoid. Before her father’s death her entire identity had been being her daddy’s girl. The moment she discovered her father had another daughter it smashed her world into tiny pieces and left her on the search that would prove elusive. All she wanted was a man she could both love and trust.
“Let me go and get you that.” Me-Ma stopped with the pots and went into the bedroom where she stashed her envelope of cash. Simone was the only one who knew exactly where she kept it, tucked right there in the family Bible, not the one she read everyday, that one never left her side, but this one had all the names and birthdays of family members written in it. Me-Ma clutched the envelope to her chest as she placed the Bible back on the shelf, but when she turned there was Deidra standing in the doorway watching her.
“Mommy, I really appreciate your help. You know I wouldn’t bother you if I didn’t need it. Like I said, it’s just ’til we can get on our feet.” Whether she realized it or not Deidra said the same exact thing every time she came begging for money, the last time was less than a month ago. But poor Me-Ma was always just happy to see her daughter that it almost didn’t matter to her that the visit was financially motivated.
She opened the envelope stuffed with cash and counted out five hundred-dollar bills and handed them to her daughter who balled them up and stuffed them in her purse, course she kept her eyes on that envelope as her mother returned it to it’s place in the Bible noticing how stuffed it was with cash. She couldn’t believe how cheap her mother was being when she had all that money on her. “I know you got to go, but I really wish you could stay and visit to see your girls?” Now a second ago she might have been planning to run out that door once that money hit her hot little hands, but now it seemed her daughter had another plan.
“You know what, that sounds good.” Deidra led her mother back into the kitchen. “You want me to help you with anything? Why don’t you take those shoes off and go put on your house slippers. Make yourself comfortable momma.” The syrupy thickness she put on display for her mother should have made her suspicious, but Me-Ma like a lot of parents of failure-to-launch children chose to be blind to most of her daughter’s faults. She still blamed all Deidra’s problems on her husband’s duplicity, but never ever did she put the fault squarely where it belonged.
“Soon as I get back I’ma cook you those turkey legs you like so much,” her mother offered, feeling full of love as she went into her bedroom to change into her housecoat and slippers.
No sooner had she left Deidra flew into the living room to retrieve the rest of her mother’s money. Course she hadn’t expected the door to fling open and for her two youngest daughters to interrupt her plan.
“Mommy!” Tallhya shrieked, dried mascara streaked tearstains running down her face. At the unexpected sight of her mostly absentee parent Tallhya went flying toward her. She missed the look of annoyance on Deidra’s face, but had she seen it in her current state it wouldn’t have stopped her daughter from throwing her arms around her mother’s neck and holding on for dear life, the sobs coming back in full force.
“Girl, you ’bout to knock me down with all that. Ain’t like you skinny like your brother.” She rolled her eyes at Ginger making a mental note to keep him away from Len. You just never know with these men, is how she always thought
“But you don’t know what just happened,” Tallhya tried to explain. “Walter used me, mama. He has another woman,” the blubbering and water works caused their mother to take a step backward. She was already upset that their presence had thwarted her plan and now all this crying and touching her. She wasn’t about that at all cause unless she and the other person were fuckin’ she didn’t see any point in any kind of physical connection.
“And unless you’re blind and didn’t notice the Dolce skirt and red bottoms pumps and this fabulous long weave honey, then you on something else ’cause ain’t no kind a man here.” Ginger ran her hands up and down her body to punctuate her point, “This is all woman all the time ’cause I am strictly dickly.” She poked out her lips and swiveled her hips in front of her mother rolling her eyes up toward the sky.
“Look Miss Thang, I didn’t give birth to no fourth girl. You have a penis and that’s to remind you that you are not female so if you wanna be a little sissy that’s on you and not nothing I did so don’t go blaming me.”
“Course it ain’t. You would have had to be here raising me like a mother to know what the hell I am.” Ginger’s words stung Deidra, but she was too proud and stubborn to let anyone know it let alone show it.
“You need to respect me. I gave your ass life instead of getting you scraped out of me like I started to do. Don’t make me sorry that I didn’t.” Deidra’s harsh words did exactly what she intended, they caused Ginger immediate and irreparable emotional damage. If you caused Deidra the slightest pain, she would maim you permanently if she could, her Scorpio stinger always ready to strike.
Ginger looked from Deidra to Tallhya whose reaction to her mother’s viciousness was to comfort her little sister. A full two years older than Ginger, Tallhya had more time to grow used to the vicious tornado that was their mother.
“She didn’t mean it,” Tallhya tried to make an excuse for Deidra, but the damage was already done as Ginger took off for her bedroom with her sister on her heels. Finally left alone in the living room, Deidra hurriedly grabbed the envelope and ran out of the house. All Deidra cared about as she stepped outside had to do with the loot she had shoved into her purse. Len would be so happy when she showed him what she had gotten.
Me-Ma entered the living room excited to talk a little more with her daughter, but instead she found herself standing alone. Her eyes immediately went from the space where she kept the Bible to the table where it sat now empty and open.
“I can do all things through Christ, which strengthen me. I can do all things through Christ, which strengthen me. Yes, Jesus, yes. And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil for thou art with me.”
“Me-Ma,” Simone entered a short time later, assessed the situation and helped her grandmother up from her knees where she had been praying. “You all right?”
“Your mother just left,” Me-Ma threw her arms around Simone before she could finish, but they both knew exactly what that meant.
-21-
“Everything?” Bunny said wanting to phone Tariq back and conf
irm the words that had just spoken because this shit sounded crazy. But nothing about his tone or words led her to believe he was in the right circumstance to answer her call.
The words kept ringing on out, on and on in her head. They got us, bring all the cash, everything, or they going to kill us.
The thought of something happening to Spoe would literally kill her. He was everything, her heart beat because of him.
She ripped through their apartment locating the piles of money in all his hiding places. When she was done she had at least a million dollars in cash, money neither of them ever thought they’d have to part with. The memory of the sound of her man’s voice scared her so shitless she would gladly hand all this cash over and more just to have him safe at home. In the kitchen she located the extra set of keys to Tariq’s pad, a place she’d actually found for him on the other side of town. Just as she was leaving Tariq’s place and wiping out his stash her phone rang.
“Hello,” Tariq’s number came up on her Bluetooth and she felt relieved to see him calling her back.
“Bunny? Or is it Bunny rabbit? The unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone snickered to himself or whoever thought that shit was funny on the other end. “Tick-fuckin’-tock you wanna see your man any time soon?” he warned her, full of bravado. Whoever this person was who had her man she already hated him, but if she possessed anything it was street smarts.
“My friends and family call me Bunny,” she snapped having no interest in pretending to be nice. She figured that she would give this guy the money and then she Spoe and Tariq would be on their way.
“Wow! So it’s like that? Well, I just have one question for you little Bunny rabbit. Where the fuck are you with my goddam money?” he hollered into the phone, the sheer magnitude of his anger came over loud and clear and threw the normally composed Bunny into a new level of panic.
