by Jo Ann Brown
It was the most Annie had talked since her parents died. Before that she had been a regular chatterbox.
She turned to Wade. “Where’s my pink sweater?”
He had no idea. The neighboring women had helped him pack up the children’s things. “I expect it’s in one of your bags.”
“In the wagon?”
“Yes. Everything is under a tarp.” He wanted to reassure her that her belongings were safe.
“Oh.” The one syllable was both a question and a demand.
“We’ll find it later.”
“Oh.” Disappointment and reluctant patience colored her voice. How could a little girl pack so much meaning into one small word? But Annie had always been good at letting her feelings be known.
She turned back to Missy. “If you don’t live here, where do you live?”
Even though they didn’t touch and he didn’t look directly at her, Wade felt the young woman stiffen. Why did such an ordinary question cause such a reaction?
“I’m staying here for now. And then...well, I’ll find something else.” Beneath the cheerful words ran a river of uncertainty that made Wade tighten his arms around Annie lest she feel it, too.
But he couldn’t prevent the child’s understanding. “That’s like us. We’re going someplace but I don’t know where. Only that Uncle Wade is leaving us and going...” She lifted her hands in a dramatic show of I-don’t-know.
The gesture made him ache. As did her words. If only he could give them specifics as to their future, but at this point, he had none to give. Please, God. Make their adoption work out. Sooner would be better than later.
Missy shifted slightly so she could give him an accusing look. He ignored her, gazing down at the floor. She needn’t think he acted selfishly. He had to do what was best.
Linette broke the tension as she announced her departure. “I need to go finish the meal preparations.” She put baby Jonathan in his cradle and headed for the kitchen. Immediately, the other ladies, including Missy, exited the room. Wade drew in a deep breath. The delicious aromas that had assaulted him as he entered the house now drew saliva from his mouth and growls from his stomach. The smells made it difficult to focus on anything else, until he felt Annie get up and start to follow Missy. Wade roped in his attention. “Stay here,” he said.
Missy turned, favored him with another of her accusing looks and continued on her way. Wade let her go without comment, deeming this a battle not worth fighting. Right or wrong, the woman was entitled to her opinion.
For the first time since he’d seen Missy in the room he sat back and tried to relax. But the smells of turkey and stuffing, ham and mincemeat made him miss Susan so badly he felt a sting of tears. Thankfully, all the other men had their attention on Eddie as he regaled them with a story about finding stranded cows in a snowstorm.
Wade’s stomach was kissing his backbone by the time Linette invited them into the dining room. “Children, you have a table in the kitchen. Daisy’s in charge. Be sure you mind her.”
The older girl, Daisy, who looked to be about thirteen, had a toddler perched on one hip and reached out her free hand to Annie. “Come on. It’s fun to sit at the children’s table.”
“Daisy is very good at minding the younger ones,” Linette assured Wade. “She’s Cassie and Roper’s oldest. With two brothers and a sister, she gets a lot of practice.”
The little boy named Grady signaled to Joey. “You wanna sit with me?”
And as easy as that, the two clinging children left Wade.
He wanted to call them back, but Linette waved everyone to chairs.
Somehow Wade ended up beside Missy. A glance around the table revealed they were the only single adults present, so he supposed it made sense to his hostess.
He forced himself to sit calmly as Eddie said grace, even though having Missy so close made his nerves tingle. He tried to cover it up by squirming about in an attempt to see or at least hear the children.
“Relax,” Missy said. “If Linette says it’s okay it’s okay.”
He nodded, though he wasn’t sure he agreed.
Linette spoke from the end of the table. “You couldn’t know it, but Daisy and her brothers and sister were orphans. Roper and Cassie adopted them. In fact—” she glanced about the table “—all these people have children who lost at least one parent.” She guided the passing of the food as she spoke.
Louise sat on the other side of Missy and leaned around her to speak to Wade. “Even little Chloe. Her father never had a chance to meet her. Now Nate is her father.”
The couples around the table smiled lovingly at each other, obviously content with their new relationships.
Wade filled his plate with turkey and stuffing, ham and green tomato chutney, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots and turnips. He realized all eyes were on him. Had he taken too much food? But a glance about the table revealed every plate held a generous amount.
“Did I miss something?” he asked, silently acknowledging he had been interested only in the food.
Everyone slid their gaze to Missy and back to him.
“It seems like marriage would be the perfect solution for you, as well,” Linette said. “Both of you.”
He shook his head. “Oh, no. Marriage isn’t for me.”
Missy held up her hands. “Nor me.”
“Why not?” Louise demanded of her sister-in-law. “What’s wrong with marriage?”
“I didn’t say there was anything wrong with it. It’s fine if that’s what you want. I have other plans.” She dug into the pocket of her blue satin gown and pulled out a piece of paper. She unfolded it and showed it to Louise, who read it aloud, then stared at her.
“A secretary?”
“Using a typewriter.” Missy made it sound as if that made a world of difference.
“Where will you get the money to take this class?”
“I’ll earn it.” Her voice rang with determination.
“But—”
Before Louise could finish, Missy returned the paper to her pocket. “That’s what I’m going to do.”
Wade released pent-up air. Thankfully, there’d be no more matchmaking.
Every pair of eyes returned to him.
“I’m sure there are other prospects,” Linette began. “I heard a family moved in this fall with an almost grown daughter. I haven’t met her yet but by all accounts she is pleasant and hardworking.”
This must be the family Lane had gone to visit. Wade rolled his head back and forth. Even if he had any interest in marriage, the last thing he needed was a young woman barely old enough to leave her parents. Besides, Lane had his sights set on the young lady and Wade had no intention of being competition. “Marriage isn’t for everyone. And to provide for a family, a man needs a home. I have none. I’m a cowboy.”
“Look around the table,” Eddie said. “These fellows were homeless cowboys, too, until they found a reason to settle down.”
The conversation was thankfully dropped as people turned their attention to the bountiful food. Wade savored every mouthful even though the meal carried sorrowful memories of similar occasions spent with Susan and her family. But as Missy had said to Annie, his sister would want him to enjoy the day.
Beneath the rumble of a discussion about the new church, Missy murmured, “One would think two orphaned children would be enough reason to settle down.”
So much for thinking the topic had been abandoned.
Wade’s enjoyment of the meal turned sour.
Linette lowered her fork to the table. “Tell me, Wade, what are your plans for the children?”
He, too, lowered his fork, knowing his answer would bring more criticism from Missy. Not that it was any of her business. “Ma’am, I’ve been in contact with a Mr. and Mrs. Bauer from Fort Ma
cleod regarding adoption.”
A collective gasp came from others at the table.
“I had hoped to hear from them by now because I have to leave almost immediately. I’ve agreed to look after a friend’s ranch while he takes a trip.”
A beat of silence passed before anyone responded.
It was Missy who spoke. “I guess you’ll have to take the children with you.” Obviously she knew that wasn’t his plan, but she meant to force him to reconsider.
“That’s not possible. I can’t take care of them and the ranch, too.” Before Missy could voice any more disapproval, before any of them could, he spoke again. “I need someplace safe to leave them until the couple comes. I hope...hoped they could stay here.”
Linette and Eddie looked at each other for a moment. Eddie answered Wade’s request. “We’ll discuss it later.”
With those words, he had to be content, though he could not relax with Missy’s heavy disapproval coming off her like a wave.
The main part of the meal ended, the dishes were cleared away and mincemeat pie served. Wade hoped the children were enjoying the dessert more than he was. Every mouthful was full of regret from his own heart and silent accusations from Missy.
Finally the meal was over.
“Everyone return to the sitting room. There are gifts for all the children,” Linette said.
Wade had begun to rise, but at that he sank back in his chair. He must find a way to draw Joey and Annie away so they wouldn’t be disappointed when they received no gifts.
Linette waved a hand to indicate he should join them. “There’s something for Annie and Joey, too.”
Missy waited at her chair as if to make certain he didn’t skip out.
He had no such intention and rose to follow her back to the other room. In a flash he saw that everyone had resumed their previous positions, which left him sitting at Missy’s side. He would have avoided the seat, but the room was crowded and he had no other option.
The children raced in and sat in a circle before the decorated evergreen tree next to the window.
One by one, Eddie handed gifts to the young ones. When it was his turn, Joey opened his package. “A ball for playing catch. Papa taught me to throw and catch.” He gazed at it, his lips quivering.
Wade would have gone to him, but wondered if the boy would find it embarrassing to be needing comfort.
Annie opened her gift, a sock doll with black button eyes, brown yarn hair and a pink cotton dress.
She stared at it and burst into tears.
Wade sat motionless, his heart shredding with shared sorrow. Before he could move, Missy sprang forward, sat beside the child and pulled her to her lap. “Shh, shh.” She rocked Annie in a tight embrace.
Finally the tears stopped. Missy returned to her chair, with Annie clinging to her like a sweater.
“I’ll take her.” Wade reached for his niece, but Missy shook her head.
“She’s fine here on my lap.” Missy’s eyes, too, were awash with tears.
Wade closed his eyes against a rush of wild emotions—a burning desire to comfort them both, a burst of fresh pain at his own sorrow and beneath it all, his unending sense of failure in not being able to give these children what they needed. And in not having seen how sad and desperate his late wife had been. The accusations hurled at him by Tomasina’s parents that it was his duty to see to her needs were no stronger than those from his own heart.
He never again wanted to experience such failure.
* * *
Missy held Annie as tightly as Annie held her. How well she remembered the first Christmas after her parents had died. The aching feeling that nothing would ever be the same, that no one would ever understand and love her the way Mama and Papa had. She and Gordie had gotten presents for each other—she’d bought him a new pocketknife she’d seen him admire in the store and he’d bought her a set of ivory hair combs. She hadn’t noticed them in any of the stores and wondered where he’d gotten them. It was much later that she realized he’d probably stolen them, and she’d never again used them.
She shook off the memories and flicked her gaze to the man beside her. She noted that his hands were curled so tightly the knuckles were white. From under her lashes Missy studied him. His expression revealed a mixture of emotions—uncertainty and sorrow.
He’d lost his sister. Of course he felt sorrow.
In her judgment of him she’d forgotten to take that into account. At the first opportunity she would correct the matter.
Annie cuddled close as the other children played with their new toys. After a bit, Joey left the others and scooted over to sit with his back against Wade’s legs. Wade rested his hands on the boy’s shoulders.
Missy smiled as uncle and nephew released tiny sighs and sank toward each other, giving comfort and consolation.
One by one the guests rose, gathered up their children and bade Linette and Eddie and the others goodbye. Louise and Nate excused themselves and took baby Chloe to their room. Only Missy remained beside Wade, with Annie on her lap and Joey at Wade’s knees.
Eddie and Linette approached Wade. “We need to talk.”
Knowing they meant to address Wade’s request to leave the children at the ranch, Missy struggled to her feet. “I’ll take the children into the kitchen. Come along, Joey.”
The child was too tired to argue and shuffled after her, but by the time they sat down at the table, his curiosity kicked in.
“They’re talking about us, aren’t they? Is Uncle Wade leaving us here?” The boy’s voice cracked, not only from fatigue. The poor child dreaded being abandoned.
Annie sobbed and tightened her arms about Missy’s neck.
She forced herself to take two slow breaths. How could Wade think of leaving these children? Yes, she understood he had a job to go to, that someone was counting on him to take care of their ranch. Yes, she understood he was an unmarried cowboy with no home. But the facts did not change her feelings. She knew what it was like to have people she cared about snatched out of her life, and to feel as if she was only an inconvenience to those who were left. She even harbored a suspicion that Louise had married her brother, Gordie, simply to protect Missy from Vic. The thought twisted through her gut. A nuisance and a burden.
Praying her voice would be firm and reassuring, she pulled Joey to her side. “Listen to me, both of you. Wherever you go, whatever happens to you, you are not alone. You have each other. And you have your mama and papa inside you.” She didn’t know how else to say that their memories of their parents would always be with them and always guide them. “And God is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He is as close as your next breath. He sees what you need and He will provide it.”
Two pairs of dark eyes watched her, practically drank her in, taking the encouragement and assurance she offered.
“You can trust God no matter what. Can you remember that?”
Annie and Joey nodded.
The kitchen door swung wide. Wade stood in the opening, his eyes on her. “Missy, would you please join us?” He turned to the children. “You two wait here.”
Missy set Annie on a chair next to her brother, caressed both heads and smiled. “Remember what I told you.” She reminded herself of the same thing—God was with her—and followed Wade into the sitting room.
She felt the heaviness in the air around her as she sat down opposite Wade.
“What’s this all about?” she asked.
Linette answered. “You heard Wade say he was trying to find an adoptive family for the children.”
Missy nodded, her lips pressed together to keep her opinion to herself.
“We’ve asked him to stay until he makes those arrangements. For the children’s sake.”
“Quite so. They’ve had enough loss to deal with
already.” Missy released the words in a rush and blinked hard to keep from piercing Wade with her challenging look.
Linette continued. “However, he doesn’t feel he can take care of them on his own.”
Eddie spoke at that point. “I won’t let Linette be responsible for them. Not when Jonathan is only a few days old.” The baby boy slept in her arms.
Wade cleared his throat and Missy’s gaze jerked toward him. So many feelings rushed through her—fear that he meant to give these children away, hope that it would give them a loving home and... Oh, yes, she meant to express her sympathy at his loss. Before she could say a word, he spoke.
“I would like to hire you to look after Annie and Joey until I can make other arrangements.”
She opened her mouth, but again he cut her off. “You can put the money toward paying for the secretarial course you want to take.”
She’d meant to say she’d gladly take care of the children free of charge, but his words reminded her that she needed funds to fulfill her plans. Still she did not answer him. Somehow to say yes felt as if she’d be giving approval to his plan, aligning herself with him rather than the children.
But if she said yes, she could spend time with them, help prepare them for their future and help them find enjoyment in their current situation.
“Yes, I’ll do it. On one condition.” She hesitated. Was she asking the right thing? “You—” she nodded to Wade “—spend time with them, as well.”
Their gazes held as they measured each other. Likely he wondered at her reason even as she wondered at his.
“I’m amenable to that.”
Eddie slapped his knees. “Then it’s settled. Things have a way of working out for the good of everyone.”
Missy wondered what he meant. She couldn’t see how things would work out for the good for Joey and Annie. They’d lost their parents and would soon lose their uncle and go to live with strangers.
None of them had any control over the future. But as she’d told the children, God would never leave them. If she could do one thing in the few days she’d have with them, it would be to make sure they believed that.
