I had learned that the hard way growing up.
It also hit so close to home that it made me uncomfortable. Did I confess everything and just hope she’d believed me?
Everyone had a past.
She wasn’t proud of hers.
And it had taken me years to get over mine.
Wingmen had pulled me out of it, out of the grief, and the absolute shock over the entire situation I found myself in.
I knew firsthand that a victim had to admit that they were that—a victim—and sometimes it was easier to justify that hit than it was to point fingers and say enough.
“All right.” Kora moved across the room. She was in a leather skirt again, and I could swear I felt her hips move with my hands every time the sound of her red high heels hit the floor.
Red high heels.
Damn.
It was like after our make-out session, she wanted to wear armor by way of the sexiest clothes I’d ever seen. Her blouse was black too and loosely tucked into her pencil skirt. Although she had been told to wear anything but black, to wear color, this particular black outfit could be forgiven.
My fingers itched to untuck that blouse and give it a little tug, preferably away from her body and onto the floor.
Naked. I wanted her naked.
I squirmed a bit in my seat, trying to get comfortable since my jeans were trying to chokehold my dick, and locked eyes with her as she smiled at all the students.
Me included.
I smiled back.
Knowing that her eyes had been on mine first.
“I think that’s it for the day, don’t forget about your senior project rough drafts! They’re due next week, Thursday!”
Someone’s hand shot up.
I glared.
There was always that one person who had brown all over their nose, who took notes as if there would be a dead body if they didn’t cross their T’s and dot their I’s with a fucking heart.
I was not that person.
I judged that person.
And was currently plotting that person’s death.
Jett.
Of course it was Jett.
He ironed his jeans. He told me so one day. His right eye twitched when he saw the rips in mine; it was a thing.
I learned early on not to trigger the bastard. Perfection was his middle name, and I had it on good authority that he got a B in his Kinesiology class and puked all over his professor because he was so upset.
Ah, Jett.
The puker.
“Mrs. Robinson?” His voice was deep; it didn’t match his tall, lanky body, but I digress… ”If we’re already finished, can we just submit the rough draft?”
See? Brown noser.
Sucking up.
You don’t get extra credit for being fast, you dipshit.
I held my groan in while the rest of the class started to get restless.
“Of course.” Kora beamed. “If you’re finished, you can submit it to the online portal, and I’ll take a look at it.”
“Great.” His hand went down and then shot right back up.
Did he have a death wish?
The guy sitting to the right of him gripped his pencil so hard I was afraid it was going to snap in half and find the sharp end impaled in Jett’s neck.
“Yes?” Kora said through clenched teeth. “What is it, Jett?”
“I’m going to assume my rough draft doesn’t need much work. Can we start on our final draft if we—”
“Yes,” I answered for her. “The answer is yes. If you want to work on your final, nobody’s going to hover over your computer desk and arrest you. Can we be dismissed now?”
Jett scowled.
“YES!” Kora nearly shouted. “Go, go. And Jett, do whatever you think is necessary regarding your paper.”
Everyone bolted.
Everyone but me.
The only thing I wanted to bolt was the door to the classroom without caring who was left inside, but since that would be frowned upon, I reached into my messenger bag and grabbed a shiny red apple, then tossed it to Kora once I made it to the front of the room. “Hungry?”
Her cheeks blushed bright red. “Brave.”
“Not really. To anyone else, it’s just an apple.”
“Oh?” She backed into her desk; her hand held the apple out like it was poison. “And what is it to you?”
I grinned. “You really don’t want me to answer that out loud, your cheeks may never recover from that blush.”
She bit down on her lower lip and then put the apple on her desk and crossed her arms. “I think we need to talk about… things.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. No part of me rejoiced at the nervous look on her face, so I tried to turn the tables.
“Or, we could just not talk?” I offered. “I’ll use my hands, mouth, possibly more food because let’s be honest, I like to keep things fun—and we lock the door.”
Her eyes darted toward the door then back to me, her fingers turned white as she gripped the edge of the desk. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to stay in her spot or if she was stressed; either way, I didn’t like it.
“Leo, look, I um, I like you a lot.”
My heart slammed against my ribs in a way that felt like I was a teen again with his first crush. My breathing picked up. She liked me, she really liked me. And someone smack me. “Good,” I finally breathed out.
“But.”
My head snapped in her direction. Did she just “but” me? The worst word in the human language. But. It almost always followed good news, news that made you want to jump on the rooftops and boast.
I hated the word but.
But had no business in my life.
“But,” She repeated again. “I’m… your professor and—”
“I’ll drop the class,” I offered quickly.
She gaped. “You won’t graduate.”
I flashed her an easy smile. “I’ll still walk, I would only be three credits short, I’ll just retake it this summer. See? Problem solved. Now can I please bite into your—”
“No.” She shook her head then moved away from me, putting her massive desk between us. “I won’t let you do that, it’s stupid, we only have a few months until graduation anyway, right? I already decided that I was going to do one more session with you guys and then… I don’t know, start rebuilding my life. And I can’t do that when I’m constantly worried about losing my job.”
I scowled. “We wouldn’t be the first student-professor-relationship. You know that, right?”
“Right,” she agreed with a sigh. “But that’s not what I want.”
My stomach dropped. “What do you mean?”
“A relationship.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t want that, Leo. I can’t. I can’t go from one bad relationship into a whirlwind with you, I just can’t.”
I moved around the desk slowly. “Kora, we’d take it slow. I’m not proposing to you.”
Her smile was sad as I reached for her chin and then gave up and dropped my hand to my side.
“I know that. But see, I’m already attached, and it’s been a few days…”
Maybe for her.
Not for my heart.
My heart had been hers for years.
But I kept the words in.
See? But just kept rearing its ugly ass head.
“Don’t,” I whispered. “Don’t push me away, not when it’s already this good.”
“I need to figure out me before I can even begin to figure out a way for there to be an us.” She looked down. “I’m sorry.”
I was good at convincing people to do anything.
I excelled at getting my way.
But I knew, in her posture, the way she turned away from me.
This was not one of those times.
“I won’t give up, you know,” I said. “And not because I like a challenge.” I reached out to her and tilted her chin toward me. “But because you don’t even realize how far gone I am for
you. Call it whatever you want. I was too young then, maybe I’m too young for you now, but the heart doesn’t measure its beats based on age, it doesn’t say, beat slower she’s eight years older, just like it doesn’t say beat faster he’s finally ready for you. It just is. The heart doesn’t discriminate. And mine hasn’t for the last four years. If you’re telling me you need time, I’ll wait forever. But if you’re telling me that this can never happen, then I need to let you go, and I need to know now.”
She opened her mouth and closed it.
Was that my answer?
I felt something lodge in my throat and swallowed down the emotion I felt raging inside.
“Leo, I just… I don’t know. I can’t give you that answer right now.”
I dropped my hand and nodded. “I have another class.”
“Okay.” Tears filled her eyes.
“It shouldn’t feel like this, you know…” I backed away from her. “It shouldn’t feel like we’re breaking up when we weren’t even together. It makes you want to ask yourself the question… why?”
“Leo…” Her voice cracked.
“For the record.” I pulled open the classroom door and sighed. “You look really pretty today.”
A tear slid down her cheek, and I fought every impulse I had to turn around and catch it, to kiss away the one that would soon follow.
I clenched my teeth.
And I left the room.
With my heart dragging on a fucking chain behind me, hitting every single object in that hallway, bruised, bleeding, broken.
Chapter Eighteen
“Heartache feels a hell of a lot like a heart attack. Don’t confuse the two, one may be easier to fix than the other.” — Leo Blackwood
Kora
My next class went by in a blur. In fact, I was surprised I even accomplished looking half normal on the outside when my heart was trying its best to glue itself back together on the inside.
He had to know I was scared.
Not of him.
But of how strongly I already felt for him.
Leo was strong, commanding, he knew what he wanted, and he was protective and loyal. He was a girl’s walking dream.
And he wanted me.
Me.
The divorced adjunct professor whose life was a mess, whose husband hadn’t even signed paperwork yet.
And that was the other thing.
I was legally separated.
Not divorced.
So being with Leo still felt—like I was breaking some sort of rule even though I wasn’t wearing my wedding ring, even though my ex was an entitled asshole.
I was in my office eating my turkey sandwich and staring at my computer screen, willing an email to pop up from my star student.
Nothing.
I guess I thought he’d put up a bigger fight than that.
I frowned down at my keyboard and tried to dislodge the emotion that was clogging my throat every single time I thought of him.
I had known what I was doing when I walked into class this afternoon. I wanted to impress Leo. I wanted him to see that I was listening, that I was confident, and a small part of me wanted his approval.
And I got it every single time we locked eyes.
He looked ready to jump over his desk and shove me against the wall.
I liked it too much.
And I wanted it even more.
But everything was such a mess, there were no clean lines in my life, only messy ones that were blurred together.
I put down my sandwich and refreshed my email.
Nothing.
A loud knock sounded on my door, scaring me to death.
I spun round in my chair. “Oh, hi Finn?”
“Is that a question?” He grinned, stepping his athletic frame into my office and quietly shutting the door after himself.
He wasn’t wearing the typical Wingmen uniform, but black skinny jeans and a hoody.
He almost looked normal except for the brown and blond colored hair, hypnotic eyes, and sensual smile.
How was it possible for each of the guys to just ooze sex every time they walked into a small room?
“What did you say to Leo?” He pulled out a chair and sat down, leaning his arms on his legs, creating only a foot of space between us.
I let out a rough exhale. “I just wanted to be honest with him.”
Finn made a face. “Normally, I’d say yes be honest, but he came back to the dorm, slammed the door shut, and won’t talk to either of us.”
“He’s probably processing.”
“Right, but what’s he processing?”
I hesitated and then, “I told him I needed time, and he said he’d wait forever, and then he asked me if I really needed time and if there was even a chance, and I told him I couldn’t give him an answer.”
Finn cursed. “That probably could have been handled better. Aren’t you supposed to be the adultier adult?”
“Is that even a word?”
“Yes.” His smile fell. “Look, your love life is your own thing, and it’s really none of my business, but when it affects our business, that’s when I step in, he’s going to scare the shit out of our clients. He’s supposed to be the sexy one they fantasize about, and right now, he’s hiding under a Spiderman pillow and cursing women everywhere.”
“Spiderman?”
“Don’t get sidetracked.”
“Sorry.” I gulped. “I can’t give him what he wants, Finn, not now, maybe not ever.”
“I get it.” He stood. “You’re scared. He told me what happened, you know, with your ex at your apartment. He wanted to go to the cops, but I told him to let you handle it. I think you’re scared he got in too far already, I think you’re trying to undo things that have already been done, and I know without a doubt you’ll regret this if you don’t fix it.”
I clenched my hands in my lap. “I’m his professor.”
“Excuse.” Finn rolled his eyes.
“I could be your… older sister!” I crossed my arms.
“Excuse number two and trust me you look more like my younger sister before she started hitting the botox because it’s and I quote ‘preventive.’”
I smirked. “Actually, it is.” I laughed. “Finn, did Leo send you?”
“No, he’d kick my ass if he knew I was here right now.”
I laughed at that. “My divorce isn’t finalized yet.”
“Ah, there it is, excuse number three… so get dipshit to sign the papers.”
“Well, dipshit wants me to go to a wedding as his plus-one, and that’s his leverage to get back into my life, so I go and he might sign, I don’t go and he just prolongs this whole experience. And I don’t have the money to fight him in court right now.”
“Done.” Finn shrugged.
“Excuse me?”
“I said done.” He opened the door. “But, you’ll need Leo’s help.”
“Leo’s help for what? I think I’m confused?”
“I would do loads of groveling.”
“Groveling?”
“His dad, you do know what his dad does, right?”
“No?”
“One of the best divorce lawyers in the state.” Finn grinned. “Woman needs to do her research. Shit.” He barked out a laugh. “You have your last session with us tomorrow night. Wear something comfortable, and I’ll make sure Leo doesn’t walk out of the room the minute you walk in. Talk, and then ask for help you know he’s already willing to give.”
“Leo thinks he knows me more than he does,” I whispered. “There’s so much more than—”
“I’m gonna stop you right there, that’s why people date. And trust me, there’s a lot to Leo that you don’t know too. He’s not some rich kid who’s been handed everything. Things look good on the surface, but he has his demons. Funny, since his story rivals yours in a huge way, I’m surprised you don’t already know about it…”
“How would I?”
“It was on the news for two weeks straight,”
he said, piquing my curiosity. “Tomorrow, eight. See ya, professor.”
My chest ached when he said, “professor.”
It reminded me of Leo calling me Mrs. Robinson.
“Wait!” I grabbed an apple out of my lunch and tossed it at Finn. “Give this to Leo for me?”
Finn scrunched up his nose. “A small part of me’s curious, the other part doesn’t even want to know what this means.”
I laughed. “Make sure he gets it today, okay?”
“Any, er, message you want to pass along with this titillating piece of fruit?”
“No message needed.” I beamed.
“That’s what I was afraid of,” Finn grumbled, and then he was gone.
My office was too quiet again.
I checked my phone.
Two missed calls from Chadwick.
Of course.
Because the wedding was this weekend.
I drummed my fingertips against the table and barely kept myself from looking up Leo’s name online.
It wouldn’t be fair to read about his past.
Especially since I was having such a hard time with mine.
I had a decision to make when it came to that gorgeous man. And Finn was right. I was using every excuse I had to stay standing still instead of leaping into my student’s arms.
Ironic.
The rest of the day went by in agonizingly slow minutes. And by the time I reached my apartment, all I wanted to do was sleep.
But when my head hit the pillow, my phone buzzed.
I quickly checked it.
Leo: Didn’t know students were eligible to receive apples. Is this a new rewards program for star students? Or just the best-looking ones? Asking for a friend…
Tears of excitement filled my eyes.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry you were supposed to get your certificate in the mail. I’ll be sure to overnight it and add a yellow star to the side for an added bonus. And of course, this stays between us. Wouldn’t want the other students getting jealous of your status or your good looks.
Leo: Too late.
Me: Your arrogance is as alarming as it is cute.
Leo: OMG did you just call me cute? Hold on, I need to go tell my friends… brb.
Me: I think they already know…
Leo: Finn just gave me a high five, and I think Slater shed a small tear. We’re gonna talk about it at recess later.
Seducing Mrs. Robinson Page 9
