“Let’s figure this out.” Missy sounded like a woman with a mission. “Maybe you misunderstood.”
“Dare said it’s over. He used those exact words.” Jenny sniffled. “It’s so crazy. I always thought men only wanted to be with Jenna Ford. I never thought I’d be dumped because I was her. Losing him… It hurts so bad.”
“I’m so sorry. That’s what sucks about love. It’s inherently risky. There’s zero control. You may get hurt a little or a lot, but in the end, loving another person is worth it.”
Jenny stiffened. “How can you say that? The way I feel isn’t worth anything except a bunch of heartache. And losing Rob almost destroyed you.”
“Yes, it did, and I wish with every beat of my heart that he were still here, but loving him was worth the pain and grief. Even knowing what would happen to Rob, and that there’d be this gaping hole where my heart should be, I wouldn’t change anything.”
“I haven’t even known Dare long. But the feelings seem real.”
“They are real. You told me grief has no set time frame. Neither does love. Once it’s there, you know, but you also can’t force another to love you back.” A long exhale sounded. “Maybe you need to walk away and let Dare figure out what you mean to him.”
Jenny almost laughed. “You mean the ‘if you love them set them free’ routine.”
“Yes, he may come back.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
“There’s going to be one spoiled kitten in Berry Lake, and you always have Ash.”
Ash.
But for the first time, Ashton Thorpe wasn’t enough. He had been before because he was safe and did whatever she wanted. So what if Ash was make believe? He’d been all she needed.
Until receiving that email from DOR.
Dare, however, was everything Jenny wanted in a man. She’d believed his finding her message in the bottle was meant to be.
Fate, kismet, serendipity, whatever this was called.
She loved Dare.
The last man she’d said the words “I love you” to had been Grant. He’d never put anyone first, including Jenny. She’d thought she understood what love was, but her feelings—her love—for Grant had never been this strong or felt so right as it did with Dare.
What was she going to do?
Nothing.
A boulder settled in the pit of her stomach.
Missy was correct. Jenny couldn’t force Dare to love her in return. He had told her to leave, and that was what she would do.
But first, she needed to cry and then sleep.
****
The next morning, Dare was so tired from not sleeping he wondered if the nurse could give him an IV of coffee. He couldn’t stop thinking about the emotions that had crossed Jenny’s face last night—confusion, hurt, anger. But he’d done the right thing.
“We can play a game of cards,” Vince said. He’d been trying to be supportive, but Dare wished his roommate would read a book or something. “I have an occupational therapy session soon, but when I get back.”
“Sure.” When Vince returned, maybe Dare would be asleep.
Vince left, and Dare’s mom entered the room with muffins and coffee from the cafeteria. She set them on his bed tray. Two cups, not three. That made him shift.
The circles under her eyes probably matched his. “You need sleep, Mom.”
“I’ll take a nap later, but you don’t look good and Jenny is hurting.” His mom ignored the food and paced. “Call her.”
“I told you it’s over.” Dare dragged his hand through his hair. “She’s been keeping secrets from me. Just like Dad.”
“Jenny Hanford is nothing like your father.”
Dare pressed his lips together.
“You really want to compare her to your dad?”
“It’s true.”
“Not even close.” His mother walked to the bed. “Your dad wouldn’t have dropped everything and flown halfway across the country for anyone. He wouldn’t have slept on an uncomfortable chair or stayed there while you napped because you wanted him to hold your hand. I’ve heard of Jenna Ford, and she’s a big name. A few times, I saw her with a notepad or a laptop, but that was only while you slept. You know what that means? She put her writing on hold for you.”
Dare didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. “She kept what she did from me. I only found out about her parents and her brother because she had an anxiety attack.”
“Which should tell you how affected she was by those events.”
“I told you how she wanted me to open up. To say what I was thinking. Spill my guts.”
“Because she cared.”
“Not enough to do the same.”
“Did it ever occur to you that Jenny might not have told you those things because you were injured, recovering, and had too much going on?” his mom asked.
I was trying to protect you.
That was what Jenny had said last night. “I don’t need to be protected.”
“Everybody needs that. Even you, Mr. Tough Guy.” His mom touched his hand. “You had to grow up fast when your father left. You stepped into the man-of-the-house role without any direction. I’m sorry that was forced on you, but you handled it like a champ. Your sisters and I needed you. But letting your boyhood memories of a man who was a poor excuse for a father ruin what you have with Jenny would be a mistake.”
His mom shook her head, looking upset.
“Last night, you had an audience, and things escalated quickly. Why not talk to Jenny alone and see if you can work things out? Explain why you were so upset when you thought she was keeping secrets from you.”
“I could, but…” His insides twisted like the bit on a drill. “There’s more going on than her not telling me things. Even if we could work that out, someone so successful wouldn’t want me.”
“Oh, sweetie, that is not true. Money and fame don’t make a person happy.”
“Jenny doesn’t need me to take care of her.”
“What does it matter if a woman is successful? That doesn’t change how she feels about you. That doesn’t lessen who you are or what you do. Please don’t let your male ego get in the way.” His mother’s tone was hard. She sounded disappointed in him, and that sliced Dare to the core. “Jenny lights up when you are in the room. She laughs and smiles and cares. That’s because of you. You’re special, Dare, and I have no doubt that she is absolutely crazy about you.”
He wanted to believe his mom. “But what if Jenny sees her life going another way? What if she wants a different ending to our story? What if she’d rather have someone more like the characters in her books?”
“That’s something you need to talk about. Don’t decide for her.”
“I did last night.” The realization of what he’d done nearly knocked him over, even though he was lying in bed. He’d thought nothing could match the hurt that Kayla and Brock had caused when they’d cheated.
Dare was wrong. Only…this had been his fault.
“I screwed up. What was I thinking?”
His mom’s expression softened. “Love isn’t logical, honey.”
His eyes burned. He slammed his fists into the mattress. “I have to make this right.”
If he didn’t do something to get Jenny back, he was going to lose it. Big time.
Running after her wasn’t an option. He couldn’t walk without help. He couldn’t drive. He couldn’t do…anything.
Hamilton’s words echoed through Dare’s head.
When have you let that stop you before, O’Rourke?
Never.
Dare wouldn’t stop now. Surrendering wasn’t how it was done. He would fight for what he wanted, for her.
But how?
Think, O’Rourke.
There had to be something he could do.
Rangers lead the way.
The motto sounded in his head. Maybe he couldn’t do something on his own, but if he asked for help…
He’d lost the most important person in his
life when Jenny left last night. What more did he have to lose?
“Mom, do you think you could do something for me?”
“Of course, honey, what do you need?”
“I need you and Carlos. Maybe Vince, too.” The guy was annoying, but Dare needed to stack the odds in his favor.
He couldn’t lose Jenny. He wouldn’t.
****
Jenny’s hands shook as she packed her suitcase. She needed to pull herself together if she was going to visit the Alamo before she headed to the airport.
A beep sounded. Her cell phone.
Her heart leaped, thinking the text might be from Dare, but when she checked her phone, she saw it was from his mom. Not that she didn’t like Susan, but disappointment clawed at Jenny’s heart as if she were being jabbed by small, razor-sharp talons.
She shook her head. It was going to be a long day. Week. Month. Year…
Susan: Favor to ask. Any chance you could get an autographed copy of one of your books and drop it off for Carlos today? Turns out he’s a bigger fan of yours than Vince and has been having a rough morning.
Jenny: Sure. I don’t fly out until tonight. I’ll swing by a bookstore. I can pick up one for Vince, too.
Susan: Thanks. Text me when you arrive. I want to say goodbye.
Jenny: Okay.
Three hours later, Jenny arrived at the hospital with a box full of books for Carlos, Vince, and the other patients. Hopefully, the staff would pass them out. That was the least she could do for the service members who made so many sacrifices and put their lives on the line.
Like Dare.
Don’t think about him.
If only she could stop.
With a sigh, she texted Susan from the lobby, and then Jenny sat at a table, pulled a pen from her purse, and autographed the books. The first set of the Thorpe Files novels was personalized to Carlos. The second set would go to Vince. On the other books, she wrote a greeting followed by her signature and the date.
Susan still hadn’t arrived after Jenny had signed them all. She looked around. The place was crowded, as usual. She’d spent so much time at the hospital these past weeks she couldn’t imagine not coming here tomorrow.
Except she’d be home in Berry Lake by then. She looked forward to seeing Missy and the kittens.
“There you are.” All smiles, Susan walked up to her. “Thanks so much for doing this.”
“Not a problem.” And it wasn’t. Jenny was happy to help. “The books are good to go. The two stacks facing the different directions are for Carlos and Vince. Just check the title page to see who it belongs to. The other books are single copies the nurses can pass out to patients.”
“How thoughtful of you, but why don’t you hand them out yourself?” Susan asked. “You have time, right?”
The Alamo tour wasn’t scheduled until later. “Yes, but to be honest, I’d rather not see Dare.”
Susan touched Jenny’s arm. “I understand, but please don’t worry about him.”
If only she could stop. “Okay. Where to first?”
“Carlos’ room.”
Jenny donned the yellow disposable scrubs, mask, and gloves, and then entered Carlos’ room with the books. A curtain had been pulled, making the room seem smaller than the last time she was here.
“Hey,” she said. “I wanted to stop by and say hi. I brought you a couple of books.”
“Thanks.” For someone having a rough day, Carlos didn’t look so bad. He wasn’t smiling, but he didn’t have a frown or a sad expression on his face. “You’re one of my favorite authors.”
Now he was making her feel better. Grinning, she sat in the chair next to his bed. She put the box on the floor, removed his books, and placed them on the bed tray. “Thank you. You made my day.”
“It’s the truth,” Carlos said without hesitation. “Ash is a badass.”
“He is, but so are you guys.”
“Sergeant O’Rourke’s the real deal.”
Jenny felt a pang. Okay, the words hit her like a sucker punch, but she recognized how much Carlos respected his sergeant and looked up to Dare. “Yes, he is. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but Ashton Thorpe can’t hold a candle to Darragh O’Rourke.”
A smile tugged at Carlos’ lips. “You sound certain.”
“I am,” she said with confidence. “Ash is a man’s man, but there’s a reason he never gets the girl. He doesn’t deserve her.”
Carlos winked. “I thought Ash ended up alone so you could write another story with a new love interest.”
“That, too.” She laughed. “But it also works with his character.”
Carlos’ eyebrows drew together. “How?”
She thought for a moment. “Well, Ash acts as a lone wolf. He has no team or comrades to rely on or console when things go south. He moves on to the next mission without realizing the pains—emotional and physical—of those he left behind. Ash never has to make sacrifices, not like Dare, and while Dare might not save the world as Ash does in each book, Dare saves individuals, and that’s equally as important.”
“Sounds like you know the two men well.”
She shrugged. “One I created and control. He’s alone because I say so. The other is a wild card. Unfortunately, he’s choosing to be alone, and there’s nothing I can do about that.”
That was probably too much information to give the young corporal, but the words were out before she could stop them.
“Sometimes, even heroes mess up. Thanks for the books, Jenny. These are copies I won’t be loaning out,” Carlos said. He picked up and put on a pair of headphones before pointing behind her.
She turned.
The curtain was open.
Dressed in yellow scrubs, Dare sat in his wheelchair. Squatchy was tucked in next to him.
Her mouth gaped. No words would come.
Dare wasn’t a small man by any means, but sitting there with a worried expression and a stuffed animal made him look more vulnerable than he had the night she’d arrived in San Antonio.
He rolled himself toward her. Well, as far as he could before the bed got in his way.
“I’m no hero. More like an idiot. I screwed up big time. The stuff I said to you was wrong. I’m sorry.” His contrite voice matched his sad eyes, and all she wanted to do was put a smile back on his face. “The last thing I wanted—want—to do is hurt you, Jenny. But things—I—got out of control so fast, but I finally figured out why I got upset like that.”
“I love you,” they said at the same time.
His mouth curved upward into a breathtaking grin. “At least we agree on that.”
Smiling, she stood. “We should be able to find more.”
Tension evaporated from him. “I was scared. I saw us going one way—my way—and then I found out about your writing. For some reason, it hit on all my insecurities. I was positive I’d never be enough for you. That you wouldn’t want or need me.”
The sincerity in his voice wrapped around her heart and squeezed tight. “Oh, Dare.”
“There is something I haven’t told you yet. My dad… He kept secrets from my mom, and that tore them apart. I used you not telling me stuff as an excuse to protect myself and my ego. That’s why I told you to go. I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me.”
Her heart swelled with hope. She wanted this to work out. There was only one thing to say. “I forgive you.”
He reached out to her, and she was at his side in an instant. “I’m sorry for not telling you more right away, but I wanted you to like Jenny before you found out about Jenna and the books.”
“I fell for your words, Jenny, not Jenna’s. What you wrote in the emails and texts made me want to take a chance on a relationship again. Looking back, I’m sure I was in love with you before I’d ever even seen you.”
He took her hand, rubbing his thumb softly over the back of it. His expression was tender, hopeful.
Her heart melted.
“I love you, Jenny Hanford. I
love Jenna Ford, too, because she’s part of you. I promise you I’m not like that other guy. Just like I know I’m not going to walk in on you having sex with my best friend or some other guy. What happened with those people is in the past. That’s where they belong. But for us…”
“I…I just want to be with you.”
“I want the same thing, sweetheart.”
He pulled her toward his mouth.
His kiss started off gently as he moved his lips over hers, but the intensity changed. Heat flared. She didn’t care.
The kiss spoke of his love and desire for her. It claimed her as his and gave her all of him.
He drew back. “Have your lawyer draw up that agreement. I want you to have it ready because as soon as I can get down on one knee to propose—and I hope it won’t take me long to heal enough—I’m signing it. Don’t even have to read it.”
“Just like that?”
Dare nodded once. “You wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to you, so why not? A piece of paper isn’t going to keep us together, and another one won’t drive us apart. We’re the ones who have to put in the effort to make things work.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Good, because right now, we have to go to my room. When you see Vince, act surprised.”
She drew back. “Why surprised?”
“Because he’s wearing a Bigfoot costume.”
Jenny let out a startled laugh. “What?” She didn’t even know where to start with that information. “Why?”
“That was the second phase of my plan to get you back if this didn’t work.”
“It worked, Sergeant,” Carlos said, even though he was still wearing headphones. “Perfect execution.”
“It was that.” Jenny grinned. “But Bigfoot?”
Dare shrugged. “None of us could fit into the alien costume. Not even my mom.”
This man was perfect for her. So were his friends and family. Jenny kissed him hard on the lips. “I love you, Dare O’Rourke.”
“I love you.” He saluted. “Soul mate and one true love reporting for duty.”
A peace settled over her, one that she’d never expected to feel with her emotions exploding like fireworks over this man she loved. “At ease, soldier.”
Jenny (Beach Brides Book 5) Page 9
