“Wow… okay.” His voice eases. “I probably need to bring a present, right?”
“Just bring yourself. That will be present enough, especially if you guys can rekindle a friendship.”
“All right, then. I’ll be there tomorrow, just before two.”
“I’ll see you then,” I say and then hang up.
I put my phone away, a little breathless and my heart beating faster than usual. And then I catch sight of myself in the mirror above the bathroom sinks. I’m smiling, like really smiling. I know exactly why, too. It’s because of Garrett.
“What are you doing?” I question my reflection. “Don’t be stupid… don’t be so dumb.” I shake my head, then close my eyes and grab hold of some skin on the inside of my elbow. I hold it for a moment, as if trying to decide whether or not what I’m about to do is really the best way to cope with what I’m feeling. There’s always alcohol, something I’d used on occasion in the past to dull and numb and just forget. But getting drunk takes too long, and I’ve never been a fan of hangovers or hugging toilets. So, I do what works best, squeeze that chunk of skin and twist… twist it up like I’m wringing out a wet towel and keep on twisting until I can’t take the pain.
“Shit!”
The pain makes me breathless, and I finally let go. The blotch of skin is red and angry, and what I’d done will leave a mark, but then again, it always does. All that matters is that I just pulled myself out of that smile, a smile formed because of where my mind had been ready to go with Garrett.
I can think rationally now. Him coming to the wedding is not a date, and I’m no longer twelve years old. I used to dream about Garrett, thought that I was in love with him, one of those big crushes you have on a guy who only has eyes for someone else, which, in my case, had been for my big sister. I’d gotten over those adolescent feelings long ago, but when I’d seen him at the coffee shop, I’d allowed them to be rekindled, if only momentarily. When he was telling me about the farm he put an offer on, something you wouldn’t tell a child, I considered that we were both adults now and having an adult conversation. And Garrett is no longer the high school boy who’d fallen so hard for my sister. He’s an ex-NFL football player who has grown into even more of a man. He still has that dark blond curly hair of his, is tan and muscular with those same brown eyes I used to lose myself in, but he might just have grown an inch or two, might be more like six foot three instead of two, and is more gorgeous than he’d ever been before.
But I’d reminded myself in the coffee shop, as I do now, that wanting to be with someone like Garrett would only lead to heartache and rejection. A guy like him, handsome and with enough money to buy his own farm, would not want a girl like me, a girl he couldn’t have a future with, a girl that wouldn’t ever be able to give him the children—not even one child—that he would most definitely want.
I straighten the loose strands of my hair with the palm of my hand, then refresh my lipstick and wipe away the small bead of moisture that had formed in my eye when I’d wrenched up my skin, my fingers like vice grips. I may not be as happy as I was a few minutes ago when I’d been talking to Garrett and smiling, but I’ve at least returned to reality. And there is safety in what is real.
CHAPTER SIX
GARRETT
I thought about asking my sister or my mom to be my plus one to Paige and Evan’s wedding, just to have someone to help me settle the nerves I’m now feeling. But as I load the gift Kate said I didn’t need to buy into my truck and then slide into the driver’s seat, I’m comfortable in knowing this is something I need to face on my own.
Dr. Barnes had helped me realize that someday I’d have to atone for my role in keeping Paige and Evan apart. At first, I pushed back some on that, arguing that they’d lied to me too, that Paige had led me to believe she and I were together while she’d been holding onto deep feelings for Evan. But then I would remember that Paige had apologized to me for that, said she loved me as a friend, and I could tell coming to that conclusion was as painful for her as it was to me. She hadn’t meant to cause me pain.
So, as I drive the familiar roads over to Paige’s childhood home, listening to the country music I’d always loved growing up here, I consider what I’m going to say. What words would be enough and not too much? What should I avoid to keep from getting into a physical altercation with Evan like we did all those years ago when I caught him holding hands with Paige?
I wish I could say I’d formulated a winning plan by the time I get to her house, cars parked across the front lawn and lined all the way up and down the street, but I haven’t. It looks like half the town is here, and likely plenty of people from out of town. Paige and Evan live in Spokane now and had spent four years in North Carolina. They likely have a lot of long-distance friends while Andy is the only real friend I’ve got from Minnesota that would be willing to trek out here to witness me vowing to love and cherish forever. That is of course if I’d ever find the right woman to say that to. The last few years have led me to believe meeting that perfect person is a lot easier said than done.
Hopping out of the truck I’ve had to park up the street, my pulse is speeding faster than it ever did on the football field. Then there’s the dry throat and the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that had kept me from eating anything this morning. I retrieve the present from the passenger side, one I’d driven to Spokane early this morning to find, one I hope they’ll take as the peace offering I mean it to be.
A couple, a man and a woman about my age, walk past, the woman turning to smile at me as they head toward the house at the end of the street. A larger family, two adults and three kids, follow along. And I don’t know who a single one of them are. They might just be locals since Basin Lake is finally starting to grow, that development of new houses Beth mentioned right at the edge of town along with some of the older, rundown houses behind the strip of businesses downtown having been bought and spruced up. I’m glad that our town is experiencing somewhat of a rebirth, but that might also be why my offer for the Murphy farm hasn’t been accepted yet. They might just be hoping someone else will swoop in and push us into a bidding war.
Walking down this familiar road, my heart beats through my chest, and I hope to god I don’t start sweating under my arms. I made sure to dress up nice, but it doesn’t matter how expensive your shirt is if its pits are stained with sweat. Thankfully, you figure out what the best hardcore deodorants are when you play pro football, so I’m still good when I reach the yard.
White balloons and a couple helpful signs point visitors toward the backyard, and that’s where I head, finding plenty of people filling the space, a few singles, some doubles, and then some groups huddled together in masses. It might just be my nerves, but I still haven’t found anyone at all I recognize. I don’t even see Beth or Ben, and I’m sure they’re coming to this thing.
“Hi, Garrett.”
My heart rate skids to a halt and then relaxes once I register the voice as belonging to Kate. But when I turn to her, my heart skips a little faster again because I’m not sure I could have prepared myself for what I now see.
“Wow,” is all I can say.
Paige’s kid sister is wearing a beautiful, light pink dress with matching pink heels at the bottom end of her very long legs, and she’s wearing it perfectly—it shows off all of her assets while she remains looking sweet, innocent even. Then there’s the hair and the make-up, not at all overdone, not the way some women hide themselves behind layers of lipstick and hairspray, but just enough to make her natural features stand out. She’s absolutely gorgeous.
“You brought a gift,” she says, thankfully ignoring my jaw that has probably hit the ground. She steps forward and takes a look at the box I’d had wrapped at the store in yellow paper and a bow. “Should I maybe take it?” she asks, looking down to where I’m still gripping the sides of it.
I follow the direction of her eyes to one of my hands and realize my palms have been sweating enough so that it’s starting
to warp the paper. “Oh, shit…”
“Here,” she says with a laugh, gripping it and taking it from me. “Just follow me, okay?”
Relieved to have found what I consider a friend here, I walk along her side, not quite able to help myself in eyeing the naked skin of her long legs or her graceful arms while we move past more people, some who I might know from my life in Basin Lake but just can’t quite place at the moment. Eventually we reach a white, gazebo-like tent that’s been erected, a pile of presents stacked on a table within it.
“You don’t think I ruined the wrapping, do you?” I ask, trying to sound cool about it even though I’m worried that anything at all that goes wrong today could mess up my chances at rekindling my friendship with Paige and Evan.
“No, of course not, but I really don’t think anyone would be focused on the sides of the wrapping even if you did.”
I let out a strained breath. “I’m just pretty nervous about this, Kate. Can you tell?”
She lays her hand on my arm before quickly removing it. “If it helps, Paige and Evan are pretty excited to see you. They wouldn’t be okay with this if they didn’t want to let go of the past.”
Hearing that and trusting that Kate isn’t lying to me is a big relief. “Thanks,” I say, a lot of my tension sliding away. “That means a lot.”
She smiles, and like the one Dr. Barnes had given me two years ago, it’s a light, hopeful one.
“So, I’m actually one of the bridesmaids, which means I’m going to have to get into place pretty soon. I can go sit with you for a few minutes until maybe you see someone you know?”
“Sounds good. Should we head on over?” I’m getting the kid glove treatment here, but I’m fine with that. I’ll be disappointed when Kate has to leave me.
I want to sit in one of the white folding chairs at the very back and furthest from the grassy aisle, but Kate encourages me to sit a few rows closer in and right at the aisle so that Paige will see me when she walks down it and Evan when he stands at the end of it. I figure Kate knows their feelings now better than I do, so I follow her instructions.
“Everyone is getting married,” Kate says, sitting next to me, remaining attentive even though she has other responsibilities.
“I’m not,” I say lightly.
“No, well, I’m sure you will be soon enough. You won’t be single for long around here if that’s not what you want.”
She says it in a way that seems to preclude her from sounding at all interested in perhaps being the woman who would make me not single.
I clear my throat. “Marriage isn’t for you, then?”
She looks somewhat startled, her eyes wide. “Oh… I don’t know. Things are just complicated.” Then she puts on a big smile to cover up those complications.
I’m attempting to find a tactful way of asking her if she’d like to let me in on what exactly is keeping her life so complex when I notice a small but nasty bruise on the inside of her upper forearm.
“That must have hurt,” I say, glancing toward the area.
When I meet her eyes again, her smile has disappeared—she appears shaken. “It’s nothing,” she says, covering the bruise with her hand and then quickly standing. “I should really get up there. I’ll see you after the ceremony, okay?”
I stand up right along with her and say, “Okay,” but she’s already gone and showing no sign she ever heard me.
“Hey, Hevener! I thought that was you.” Ben Forester is right in front of me, and I step out into the aisle, giving him a firm hug and a pat on the back before I offer his wife, Beth, a softer one.
I’m glad to see them both, glad not to have been left alone here for too long. We spend a few minutes talking, but that soon dies down once the music starts and we all stand.
* * *
Evan and Paige do see me, and thankfully they aren’t throwing any daggers at me with their eyes. The looks they offer me are brief but what Dr. Barnes would call conciliatory. With Beth and Ben sitting next to me, I’m at ease and able to relax through the majority of the ceremony. It’s beautiful really, the kind of thing I guess most couples would want, a fairly simple wedding under a white gazebo Beth said Clark, Paige’s stepdad, built. There are pink and white flowers all around, but nothing over the top, and Paige is gorgeous in the kind of dress I guess I used to imagine her in when we’d been together. And the weather has held, partly sunny when some of the reports had called for rain. I should be in pain watching all of this, but seeing the mix of emotion and pride on Evan’s face as well as the giant smile on Paige’s, I can’t help but be happy for them and know that, just like Ben and Beth, they were the ones meant to be together in the end. I’d only been a temporary roadblock to that.
And while I spend plenty of time looking at my old friends up there while they recite their vows, my attention keeps moving over to Kate. She’s the second bridesmaid over, between Claire and a chestnut-haired woman Beth mentions is Emma who I’m pretty sure was Paige’s best friend before she moved to Basin Lake. Every woman up there is beautiful, but damn if Kate is the only one that’s really holding my attention.
“How long until we get you up there in a monkey suit?” Ben asks with a slap to my back once Paige and Evan have walked down the aisle and everyone is beginning to disperse.
“He’s got to find the right girl first,” Beth says. “Give him a little time.”
He laughs. “You’re not going to have a problem! If we don’t find you someone in Basin Lake, then Spokane’s just a hop, skip and a jump.”
Beth narrows her eyes at him. “When did you become such a cupid?”
“Since I’ve realized how amazing it is to be married.” He pulls Beth close to him and throws a little PDA on her.
Part of me wonders if he’s doing it for my benefit. He knows damn well Beth and my feelings for one another are long defunct, but maybe he’s just making sure since I mean to put down stakes here again. Or maybe it’s just because he loves her, because loving someone means you get to shout it out to the world every once in a while.
I stuff my hands in my pockets and wait for them to finish, my nerves starting to fire up again at the idea of actually talking to Paige and Evan before I leave today.
Ben finally lets Beth go, and she’s a little breathless, bringing her hand up to her chest. “You’re staying for the reception, right?” she asks, looking up at me.
“You damn well better,” Ben says before I can utter a response. “You don’t just do drive-bys for stuff like this, especially when you’ve been gone for so damn long.”
I snicker. “I’ll stay as long as it takes to get a word in to the happy couple.”
“Good man.” And then Ben slaps me on the back again.
I glance over at the tables in another part of the yard, round white ones, each with six chairs around them—if I end up over there, I sure as hell hope I’ll find a chair next to Kate.
And like an answer to me thinking her name, Kate is walking back toward us, away from the gathering of people around Paige and Evan over by the tables.
“Damn, look at you!” Ben eyes Kate, up and down the entire length of her body. “You’re supposed to be Paige’s little sister, not all grown up.”
It’s the same thing I’d thought when I’d first seen her at Pamela’s, but I’m sure glad she is grown.
“We all have to grow up sometime,” she tells Ben before turning her eyes to me. “So, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”
“No… it was pretty nice actually.”
“Beautiful is how I’d describe it,” Beth says. “And you looked lovely up there, Kate.”
“Thanks, Beth. Where are those two little boys of yours?”
“Babysitter,” Beth says with a relaxed sigh. “I’d have loved to bring them, but I wasn’t sure I could trust them to sleep through it or at least be quiet.”
“They can be howlers,” Ben adds.
“Well, if you guys ever need any help with them, let me know.”
Beth perks up. “Like babysitting?”
“Yeah, of course. Or whatever. I’m kind of in between things right now, so I could use something to do.”
I’m actually running through my head, trying to think if we’ve got any jobs at the farm she’d be a good fit for when Ben speaks up. “If you need a job, come on into the store. We can always use cashiers or whatever else you might want to do.”
“You could do both,” Beth says with a smile. “Really, we’d love to have you helping out with whatever you’re willing to take on.”
Kate’s eyes practically glow. “I’d actually really like that. I’m pretty much free from tomorrow on.”
“Great! Well, come on over tomorrow to get to know the boys better then.”
“And how about coming over to the store on Monday to fill out some paperwork… say around ten?” Ben adds on.
“Perfect.”
I feel like I just missed a great opportunity to see more of Kate in my life, but any work I could offer her on the farm would have needed to be run by my family first. And I don’t even know if I’ll get the Murphy farm, so I couldn’t very well offer her something that doesn’t even exist yet.
I’m silently kicking myself for not being able to think faster when Kate turns to me and asks, “Are you ready to head over and talk to them?”
Beth and Ben are looking at me too, eyes wide like they’re waiting for me to take action.
“Shouldn’t we wait… until things settle down?” I ask Kate, getting the first chill of cold feet.
“Come on.” She slides her arm through mine. “You’ll feel a whole lot better once you get this over with.”
The simple touch of her arm against mine actually feels like enough to make me do almost anything, so it’s not hard to follow her toward the spot where everyone is amassing, somehow knowing that as long as I’m with her, that everything with Paige and Evan is going to end up okay.
Unbroken by Love (The Basin Lake Series Book 4) Page 4
