She stays silent for a few beats too long, then asks, “How is your dad doing? I feel bad for not popping in to say hi.”
I take a moment to recalibrate my thoughts and try not to think of what her changing the subject means for what’s actually going on in that head of hers. “He’s actually really good. We got him settled into his favorite recliner in the family room, and then he tells us we’re all hovering.” I’m grateful for the laugh that memory from earlier today brings me. “He thanked us all for being there but said he was sick of people being all around him at the hospital and just wanted a few hours to relax on his own and watch some old Westerns. So, except for Mom, we all left.”
“That’s good. You didn’t mention anything about Meg to him yet, did you?”
“No… I don’t want to upset him.”
“I think that’s for the best,” Kate says with resolution. “I think you should give it some time to be sure.”
“Be sure about what?”
She’s quiet. “That things are more settled… with Meg.”
“Okay.” So many things are going through my head that I don’t know when anything will be settled.
We end up at the mall in downtown Spokane and in a store that caters to children, the space lined with toys and clothes and furniture, car seats, booster seats, cribs and high-tech monitoring systems where you can hear each and every breath of your kid even if you’re a hundred miles away.
I’d told Kate money wasn’t an issue, but she still checks prices and compares brands, filling our cart with things I wouldn’t have thought about a kid needing until the moment said kid needed it.
“We should probably stop at a grocery store here before we head back,” she says while the cashier rings up everything we’d been able to fit into our cart—the rest of the stuff having to be picked up from a loading bay behind the mall. “That way we can avoid stopping at Forester’s and having people peek into the back of your truck.”
“Sure… is there special food for little girls?” I ask half-jokingly, but part of me actually wonders if there is. I hadn’t been around much when Charlotte and Wayne were that age.
Kate smiles. “Well, we definitely won’t be feeding her steaks. I’m thinking easy things like mac and cheese, some baby carrots and broccoli. It’s always good to introduce little ones to at least a few vegetables.”
“But no strained peas?”
“She does have teeth, Garrett. I think we can pass on those.”
The cashier smiles and laughs. “This your first one?”
“Uhh… yeah,” I say when it’s apparent Kate is at a loss for words.
“She must be pushing through her toddler stage.” The woman stuffs what I now recognize as an Elsa doll into a bag.
“Yeah. She’s three,” I say, and Kate nods.
“That’s when their personalities really emerge, for good or bad,” the woman tells us with animation in her voice. “I’ve had three of my own. All grown now of course, but I did a big shopping spree when my first hit three. The other two got all the hand-me downs, but it sure was fun picking furniture and other things they could really grow into.”
Kate smiles at me, almost hesitantly, just as I turn to her. Is she as lost in the idea that Meg is ours as I currently am? My mind lets go of the idea of lawyers and police and social services and is instead filled with the fantasy that Meg is ours, belongs to Kate and me, that she has since birth, and we’ve finally gotten around to buying her what Skyler would call a big girl bed and clothes. The last three years never would have happened. I wouldn’t have ever played for the NFL or slept with all those women—I’d have been with Kate that entire time, building a life together.
I literally have to shake my head to bring me back to the reality of things, but my heart doesn’t sink because Kate is still here. And I’m so damn thankful for her. I’d be lost without her, not just in dealing with Meg, but with everything. She inhabits a huge chunk of my heart… maybe, in fact, the entire thing.
There is a possibility that Kate got lost in those same thoughts, and so there is silence as we leave the store and then head back to the loading bay for the rest of our purchases.
“She was sure talkative,” I tell Kate after a stocky, smiling man helps us load the last of the furniture for Meg. “Made it all sound easy though… the parenting thing.”
“I don’t know if it’s ever meant to be easy,” Kate says, still more reserved than her usual self.
“Everything okay?” I ask after closing the tailgate, then moving to her and touching her cheek.
She smiles softly. “Of course. It’s just been a long day, and I didn’t get a whole lot of sleep last night.”
“You sure that’s it? I realize I’m asking a lot of you with this, basically throwing you into my drama.”
“Garrett, I…” She closes her eyes and shakes her head very softly.
“What is it?” I slide my hand to her shoulder and grip her like she’s an anchor.
She lifts her head and pushes through a smile. “For a lot of reasons, this is… well, it’s overwhelming. But I’m dealing with it because I love you, because you stood by me when I told you something that has been painful for me. So, I know we’ll get through this, no matter how many turns it takes.”
I pull her close to me, knowing there is more she isn’t saying but focusing instead on what actually comes from her lips. “Thank you, Kate. And I’ll take care of this—I’m going to head over to the police station tomorrow morning. It’s a start to get all of this figured out.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” she says before burrowing into my chest.
CHAPTER THIRTY
GARRETT
Seven days—an entire week—has gone by since Kayla Millbanks dropped Meg off on my porch.
In that time, I’d gone to the police, spoken to the lawyer in Minnesota and retained one closer to home in Spokane, along with getting a start in dealing with social services. This has started a ball rolling, both in trying to track down Kayla and also in establishing myself as Meg’s father.
But in the same week, I’ve started to fall in love with the little girl as a true father would while also coming to a hurtful realization that Meg, in fact, might not be mine.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mention it sooner,” Kate tells me as the two of us dress for Sunday dinner at my parents, a dinner we will get to an hour early to explain the situation with Meg, something we’ve managed to keep from everyone except for Beth, Ben, the local police and of course social services. That’s not an easy task when I can literally see my parents’ house from my farm.
“That you don’t think she’s mine?” I’m tying my tie in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom, Meg playing in the room we’ve fixed up for her just across the hall, out of range to overhear us.
“I should have told you the moment it popped into my head.” She steps just to my side and wraps her arms around me, her delicate hands over my chest, her touch like a gift every single time she decides to bestow it upon me. “But I’m not sure I wanted to believe it. I want her to be yours.”
I take a break from the tie, then turn and slide my hands down to her hips, just one of the many parts of her body I have a difficult time not touching. “I do too,” I admit. “But if she’s not, then her real father deserves to know, right?”
“If she even knows who he is,” she says quietly. “I just wish they’d find her. The longer Meg is here, the more…” She shakes her head, and I can see her chin begin to wobble.
“I’m falling in love with her too.” I pull Kate even closer. “In fact, I think I already have. It’s gonna hurt if she’s taken away, but I think this all proves something.”
She looks up at me. “And what is that?”
“That you and I make pretty damn good parents.” A smile spreads across my face, so big I can feel it. “Maybe down the road, we can adopt or something.”
She nods softly.
“You wouldn’t want to?” I raise my
brows at her, still unsure if I really know all of her true feelings about our situation.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about things like this, Garrett… and adoption is just one of those things people throw out at you to make it seem less awful that you can’t have your own kids, like it’s a magic wand to fix everything.”
“But I don’t mind,” I insist, holding her tighter, as if to show her I mean it.
“I know, and I love you for it, but adoption isn’t easy—neither is surrogacy. I’m not saying they aren’t good options, but if whatever is going on with Meg falls through, then I’ll need time to get over that. And besides, we aren’t even married. Maybe this is all kind of like putting the chicken before the egg or whatever?”
“Maybe,” I say, “but chickens are more entertaining than eggs, don’t you think?”
She can’t seem to help but to laugh at that and nudges my shoulder.
I could go on, tell her that I feel ready for all of this, that I’d had plenty of time to be single where my only responsibility was playing a good football game. But I’d walked away from that because it’s not what I wanted anymore… maybe it never was. What I want is right here in front of me.
“I’ll go and check on her,” Kate says, already dressed in a gorgeous dress and heels that clank against the hardwood floor when she starts out of the room. “We’re still dropping her at Beth’s before we tell your folks, right?” she asks, turning partway at the door.
“Yeah. I think springing her on my parents like that wouldn’t be fair to anyone,” I say, taking in a vision of Kate before I even think of looking away and returning to my tie.
“Okay.” She smiles and walks through the door, now out of sight, her footfalls fading as they near Meg’s room.
And even with her out of the room, I still stare at the open door, still think I can see her image standing there. When I hear her talking to Meg in the next room, playfully and motherly at once, I smile and finally turn back to the mirror.
* * *
“So, what’s this news you’ve got for us?” Skyler has me cornered in the dining room, Mom having insisted on showing Kate some top-secret recipe for applesauce cake in the kitchen.
“I’d rather just tell all of you at the same time… but I still think Charlotte and Wayne should be kept out of this for the time being.”
“I know,” she says, narrowing her eyes at me. “They’re upstairs, and I told them they can’t come down until they’re told. But really, I don’t think they’d be upset about you and Kate getting engaged.”
The thought of it warms my insides. Of course that’s what they’d all think, that the announcement Kate and I have to make would be about me getting down on one knee and asking the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met to marry me and that we’d only produce the ring to show off once everyone had been informed.
“That’s unfortunately not the news we’ve got to share,” I tell her, wishing to hell and back that it was.
“No?” She steps away, her eyes widening in surprise.
I shake my head. “Hopefully that’s what we’ll have for you in the near future, but not today.”
“Well, consider my curiosity peaked.” She steps toward the table and straightens a place setting before turning and eyeing me again. “It won’t be upsetting to Dad, will it?”
I bring my hand to the back of my neck, grumble inwardly, then slide my hand back down. “I’m hoping it won’t be, but it’s not something we can keep hiding for much longer.”
“She’s pregnant!” Skyler says this far too loud, then throws her hand to her lips, realizing her mistake, that Kate being pregnant isn’t possible.
She’s already been overheard though as footsteps come quickly out from the kitchen.
“Who’s pregnant?” Mom asks, entering the dining room with a face that is probably half horrified and half thrilled. When she doesn’t get an immediate answer from me or Skyler who doesn’t seem to know what to say now, she looks over to Kate who has followed her in. “Kate… are you and Garrett going to have a baby?”
Kate looks over at me with more seasoned eyes, not the deer-in-headlight variety she’d shown during that first dinner here. She’s waiting for me to say something, but before I can, she turns back to my mother.
“I’m sorry, but no,” she says and then hangs her head down in what… shame?
I hurry over and wrap my arm around her, holding her tightly to me. “You are everything,” I whisper to her. “Everything to me.”
She lifts her head and smiles, a spark of light back in her eyes.
“Can we all head into the family room now?” I say to Mom who looks confused and Skyler who still looks like she’d put her foot in her mouth. “I think we need to get this announcement out of the way.”
“Okay, then,” Mom says, her eyes filled with worry.
Mom goes toward the family room first. Skyler hangs back, throwing a silent apology my way, before she files in line after Mom. Kate and I follow, my arms still around her as we find Dad in his recliner watching a game with Matt. They both look toward us when we enter as if they hadn’t overhead anything at all from the dining room.
“Garrett and Kate are ready to share their news,” Skyler says, taking a seat next to Matt, still looking guilty as a kid who’d stolen a candy bar and gotten caught.
“You aren’t heading back to the NFL, are you?” Matt asks, looking a little excited at the prospect.
“Oh, no, I certainly hope not,” Mom says, sitting on the couch just opposite Dad. “Not after you purchased the farm!”
“It’s not that.” I stop in front of the loveseat and extend my hand for Kate to sit down first. Then I slip in next to her and take up her hand, both of us holding tight to the other.
“Well then?” Matt asks, his eyes darting from us and back to the TV screen like he doesn’t want to miss some amazing play.
“Do you want me to tell them?” Kate whispers to me. “Would it be easier?”
“Thank you,” I whisper back, “but I can do it.”
Silence falls on the room after Dad picks up the remote and puts the TV on mute. Now all eyes are on me.
“There isn’t really an easy way to say this,” I begin, then clear my throat. “So, I’m just going to come out with it. A woman I knew in Minneapolis showed up a week ago with a little girl. She says she’s mine, and Kate here has been helping me take care of her.”
It’s too much information too quick. I can tell that by the confused expressions on everyone in the room, except for Kate’s.
“You have a daughter?” Skyler is the first to say something. “And you just found out about it a week ago?”
“I know it’s tough to take in, but she’s a good kid. I think you’d all like her.”
“Where is she?” Mom asks while Dad just kind of looks at me, disappointment brewing in his eyes.
“She’s over at Beth’s,” Kate answers for me.
“Beth? Does she know… has she known before us?” Anger pushes into Skyler’s voice and expression.
“Honey, give him a chance to fill us in before we judge,” Matt says, squirming next to her.
“I’m not judging… I’m just… well, I’m hurt you didn’t come to me with this!” Then she narrows her eyes on Kate. “And she’s known this entire time?”
Kate could shrink back at this, but she moves an inch or so closer to me and pushes forward a bit.
“She was with me when this woman… Kayla… showed up. It was the night Dad got back from the hospital, and I didn’t want to upset anyone.”
“What’s her name?” Mom asks, folding her hands on her lap.
“Meg,” Kate says, “and she’s an absolutely adorable little girl.”
“Well, then we should meet her.” Mom stands up and claps her hands together before she looks over to my very still and quiet father.
With snark, Skyler says, “Yes, we’ve already had to wait a week.”
I only need to look to Kate for an e
xtra helping of moral support, which she offers in spades with her kind eyes. Then, turning my attention back to my family, I say, “There’s something else. It’s possible that she isn’t actually mine.”
“Not yours?” The question comes from my father, his first verbal response to the news. He pushes the lever at the side of the chair, sitting up straight, some color draining from his face as he does. “First, you manage to sleep with someone who you might have gotten pregnant but weren’t with long enough to find out, which is bad enough, son.” His voice is weaker than before the second heart attack, but in every syllable he speaks, I still feel about an inch tall. “But now you’re telling me you don’t even know if this little girl is yours? What the hell kind of women were you messing with while you were away?”
I catch a look from Matt that seems to be supportive, then one from Skyer that totally isn’t. Mom just looks away… embarrassed. Thankfully, Kate is still at my side, holding tight as ever.
“I’m not proud of the man I’ve been in the past, on a number of different levels.” I don’t hang my head but instead force myself to look my father in the eyes. “I’m trying to do the right thing now, and if Meg is mine, then I fully intend to be the kind of father she deserves.”
“And if she’s not?” Skyler is the one to ask before my father can get a word in.
“If she’s not, then it’ll be more complicated. Kate and I are kind of falling in love with her though, so I’m hopeful about things.”
“Hopeful?” Dad leans forward, a hint of color returning to his face. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“We can worry about specifics later,” Mom says, her excitement at the possibility of another grandchild, no matter how she came to be, showing. “Right now, I just want to meet her.”
Unbroken by Love (The Basin Lake Series Book 4) Page 23
