by Nancy Warren
They all stared at her as though she had superpowers.
She grinned at them. “I saw y’all on the first day. You looked so cute in your matching outfits. And you were wearing a veil, so I figure you must be the lucky bride.”
“Unlucky bride.” She scowled.
Finally, the redheaded girl who’d managed to say, “Hi,” spoke up again. “I’m Lauren, this is Susanne.” She indicated a dark-haired woman beside her wearing large sunglasses. Toni thought she might be a couple of years older than the rest of the girls. “And Allie—” Another brunette, with long dark hair in a sloppy bun. “—and Rose.” Rose had short, dark hair that was going spiky with the humidity. “And the bride is Caitlyn.”
“Pleased to meet y’all.”
Caitlyn was full-on blonde and Toni wondered for a moment whether she’d chosen four brunette bridesmaids and a redhead deliberately, so she’d stand out. The bride was very pretty, with big blue eyes, a cascade of blond hair, and clear skin. But her pouty lips were the result of actual pouting and if she wasn’t careful, that scowl would give her nasty wrinkles as she aged.
“Where are y’all from?”
Lauren, who seemed to be their spokesperson, said, “We’re all from New York except for Allie. She’s from Miami.”
“And you?” Rose asked her when no one else bothered.
“I’m from a town that’s really a suburb of Dallas. I’m Texan born and raised, Rose.”
The woman blinked. “You remembered my name?”
“Sure. I remember all your names. In my work it’s important for me to memorize people’s names and faces.”
“You a teacher?”
“No, honey. I’m an independent beauty consultant.” They stared at her so she stretched the truth only the tiniest bit. “A makeup artist.”
Caitlyn had been staring into the bubbling water, brooding, but her head came up at that. “A makeup artist? Seriously?”
“Uh-huh.”
The women all stared at each other and back at Toni.
“You ever done weddings?” Caitlyn pressed her.
She laughed. “Only about a hundred times.”
But Caitlyn wasn’t one to accept a gift horse without looking it in the mouth, or, in this case, studying its makeup job. Since Toni never, ever went out in public without full makeup on, she was happy to be scrutinized. As she was always reminding her sales team, their faces were a billboard for their products and services.
In the sudden silence, the bubbling water sounded like Niagara Falls. “Would you be interested in showing us a sample of your work?” Caitlyn finally said. “I might need a makeup artist for my wedding.”
Smart girl. Toni approved. She wasn’t rushing in to hire an unknown makeup artist, even if she was desperate.
“I’d be happy to. In fact, my Mama is with me and she’s a makeup artist too. We’d be happy to give all you gals a free makeover. If you like our work, you can hire us to do the makeup for your wedding. If it’s not to your taste, there’s no obligation.”
“Great.”
“What day are you getting married?”
“Friday. Day before the cruise ends.”
“Oh, that’s so funny. That’s my daughter’s birthday. Friday’s going to be a very special day on board the Duchess.”
Caitlyn did not look as though sharing her wedding day with Toni’s daughter’s birthday was a big thrill. “Whatever. After the shore excursion tomorrow. Come to my suite. We’ll do it there.”
“What are you planning in our suite?” the beefy guy who’d carried the wedding dress on board swaggered up wearing board shorts and carrying a bucket with half a dozen open beers in it. He hefted his solid bulk into the swirling water and offered all the women a beer. Even Toni, which she thought was nice of him even as she turned town the treat.
“Long story, but Toni here might do my makeup for the wedding.”
“Cool,” he said, sucking on his beer.
Toni felt that the hot pool was getting a little crowded, plus she was overheating, so she excused herself and climbed out.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. Caitlyn gave her her suite number and they agreed on four o’clock as makeover time.
“I cannot believe how well that snowflake worked,” Toni told Linda as they ate lunch in the dining room. It was nice here, calm and quiet. Tiffany had begged to join the group of young people who’d found each other and had decided to eat at the buffet. Toni was fairly certain her buff friend from the gym would be part of the group, but she was only too happy to see her daughter having fun.
She and Linda strategized on the best way to prepare one bride and four bridesmaids for the big day in the most efficient manner. “She’s getting married on the second to last day, so we’ve got some time.”
They chatted their way through lunch and then the waiter brought them the dessert menu. Toni put up her hand. “I’m not even opening that.”
“The tiramisu is excellent today, ladies,” their waiter said. “Coffee?”
Toni groaned. “I have no willpower where tiramisu is concerned. I’m going to have to work out more or I won’t even fit in that bikini.”
“Zumba,” her mother reminded her as they both ordered the tiramisu and coffee.
“And how was Bingo?” she asked.
“Well, I didn’t win anything, but it was fun. I met some nice people there.” She set her coffee cup down. “They offer it every sea day. I might go back.”
When they were done, Linda said, “I need to get up on deck. I’ve been inside all day. I want to rest up for the shopping seminar this afternoon.” So, Toni put her wet swimwear back on, resolving to buy a second bathing suit when she had a chance. They brushed their teeth, refreshed their makeup and donned big hats, big sunglasses, and toted bottled water and the books they’d brought with them.
Topside, they headed away from the busiest deck to a quieter spot where they found two deck chairs, and settled back to enjoy a sunny afternoon.
Toni was half dozing over her book when a man’s voice said, “Didn’t I meet you in Bingo today?”
Beside her, Linda glanced up. “Why yes, you did.”
He was probably a decade younger than Linda, boyishly handsome still, with short, dark hair and big, dark eyes. He addressed Toni., “I was so excited when I got all the letters that I yelled, ‘I won.’ Your friend reminded me I was supposed to yell ‘Bingo.’”
Toni wasn’t going to ruin her mother’s image by telling the nice man she was Linda’s daughter, not her friend, so she said instead, “Linda’s a good person to have on your team.”
“Oh, honey,” her mother said, all flirty and fluttery.
“I’d like to spend some of my winnings by buying you a drink, if I may?”
“You certainly may.” Linda jumped up, then realized she was abandoning Toni. “If that’s okay with you?”
“You’d be welcome to join us,” the man said gallantly.
“No. Thank you. I’ve got to the exciting part of my book. I’ll keep reading. You two have fun.”
And she watched them head to one of the outdoor bars, already chatting with the ease of old friends.
Her daughter was making friends, her mother was being romanced. Toni imagined she’d spend a quiet afternoon alone when a voice said, “May I join you?”
Chapter Six
I’m not that good looking. Nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
– Tina Fey
She glanced up, then smiled with pleasure. “Alicia. Yes, please join me.”
Alicia slipped off a gorgeous beach cover-up and settled on the lounger recently vacated by Linda. Alicia still looked great in a bikini, even if she was fifty-eight. The woman looked much better than the last time Toni had seen her. In fact, she looked as though she’d come straight from the salon. Her hair was sleek with a fresh blowout and her makeup was flawless.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes. I had a bad moment. I haven’t been sleeping that well. I thought I saw—well, it’s crazy.”
Toni gazed at the woman beside her. “I’d have said you looked like you’d seen a ghost, but in fact you looked like you’d seen your husband.”
Alicia leaned forward as though she were going to say something, and then closed her lips together and shook her head. “Like I said, I haven’t been sleeping all that well. I was seeing things. I even checked it out and found out I was wrong. Honestly, I think getting a divorce makes me nuts.”
“It makes everybody nuts.”
Because Alicia had been on numerous cruises and this was Toni’s first time, she asked her new friend for information about the upcoming stops. It was an easy, neutral subject and what Alicia didn’t know about cruising probably wasn’t worth knowing.
Chattering away, they didn’t realize they had attracted attention until a grinning waiter appeared in front of them holding a tray with two tropical drinks on it. The first was a mojito, stuffed with mint leaves and deliciously cold looking. The waiter, Henry from Bulgaria, set the drink down beside Alicia. He said, “The gentleman at the bar sent you this. He wanted you to have something long and cool.” He turned to Toni and offered her a long glass of fruit punch with a small triangle of pineapple hanging on the rim. “And his friend said to bring you something fruity, with punch.”
The women both stared over at the bar and discovered Romeo, the bartender, grinning at them and giving them two thumbs up. The men who had sent over the drinks looked like they’d already sucked back a few cocktails themselves. Both appeared to be in their mid- to late forties and looked as though they might be on a corporate retreat of some sort. They raised their cocktail glasses in a silent toast to Toni and Alicia.
Her mother, settled cozily beside her Bingo buddy, glanced over and sent her a wave. Toni suspected the entire group hunkered around the outdoor bar had had a hand in the flirtatious gesture.
“Why, thank you.” She and Alicia toasted each other, and then responded to the men’s silent toast by raising their glasses in return. Toni sipped her rum punch. “You see? There are lots of nice men still out there. You’re a very attractive woman.”
Alicia snorted. “Dollars to donuts, he’s looked at a copy of Forbes and figured out my net worth.”
“Why would his friend send me a drink? I’m not rich.”
Alicia lost her cynical expression and leaned closer, her lips tilting. “No. But you are fruity, with a punch.”
She snorted with laughter. “And you’re long and cool.”
“Should we go over there?” Alicia asked. “It’s been so long since I had any man show interest in me that I’ve forgotten the protocol.”
“No,” said Toni. “Let them come to us.”
So, they chatted and after a while found their drinks empty. Toni turned, but the two men had gone. “Well, I guess they weren’t very interested after all.”
“Or something younger and shinier came along.”
Even though she was slathered in sunscreen, she still hesitated to spend too long in the tropical sun. “Listen, I need to get out of the sun.”
Alicia glanced at the diamond-encrusted watch on her wrist. “Yes. And I’ve got an appointment.”
“I’ll see you at Zumba tomorrow, then.”
Alicia hesitated. “I hope so.” She settled a hand over her stomach. “Truth is, I’m feeling a little under the weather.” She smiled. “But it’s probably nothing.”
*
Dinner was a big deal on the Duchess of the Caribbean. Passengers had the choice of one of two set dinners or they could opt for anytime dining, with the idea that you could show up anytime between five-thirty and nine-thirty and be seated. There might be a bit of a wait if a lot of people all showed up for dinner at the same time, but Toni had been assured by the travel agent who booked her trip that it wouldn’t be more than a few minutes and that there were plenty of things to do in the vicinity if they had to wait.
Apart from the obvious advantage of flexible dining times, was the added attraction that they’d be dining with different people every night. The maître d’ would seat people at tables until they were full. This meant that most nights Toni and Linda, and Tiffany if she decided to join the family business, could meet and talk to new potential Lady Bianca customers.
They were armed with sample packs of product and free makeover coupons. She couldn’t wait to get started.
When they got to dinner that night, a nervous looking Asian woman sat beside Toni. “Hi, I’m Toni.”
The woman wore a hospital mask over her face and she smiled and nodded when Toni introduced herself. The woman did not return the favor and introduce herself. When the waiter took her order the response was so garbled that the waiter had to ask her three times to repeat her dinner request. Finally, in frustration, she lifted the bottom part of the mask and snapped, “Fettuccine Alfredo and a Caesar salad.”
The woman on the other side of Linda said, “See how there are no salt and pepper shakers on the table? They don’t want the passengers touching anything. I was reading all about it on Norwalk.com.”
“Are you kidding me? Norwalk.com?”
“Sure. It’s a fantastic resource. It tells you which ships have reported the virus, when it happened, and how many people got sick. They also have stories from people who’ve been through epidemics, as well as tips on prevention. Since the virus often pops up again after they’ve tried to clean the ship, the site recommends avoiding those ships as the chance of getting sick is so high.”
Toni ordered the shrimp dish recommended by their waiter, Emil from Bulgaria, and then leaned across her mother to ask the woman, “Was this ship struck with the Norovirus earlier?”
The woman nodded sagely. Paused to order the surf ’n turf, and then leaned in. “Two cruises ago, they had to come in, they had so many people sick. Then last cruise, a bunch more got sick. Chances were really high we’d get hit.”
“Why did you take this cruise?”
She put out her hands in a what can you do? gesture. “We booked six months ago. Got a great deal on the price. How could I know this would be the SS Norwalk?”
Toni wished the good people at her travel agency had accessed Norwalk.com. She’d have to tell them about it. “So, what are your tips for avoiding getting sick?”
“Don’t touch anything another person’s touched. Stair rails, elevator buttons. If you go in the fitness center, sterilize your equipment before you use it as well as after. Deck chairs, ship rails. Think about it. If a sick person could have touched it, then you don’t.”
“What about the cafeteria?” She thought of all the spoons that got passed from person to person, the communal bread baskets. There were three thousand passengers on board and half as many crew members. Staying away from germs was going to be a monumental task.
“You watch. By tomorrow? Crew will serve you. There won’t be any shared utensils. They’ll be posting crew members specifically to make sure you get a good squirt of the hand sanitizer. Not that it will do you any good.”
“Why not?” Toni had a small bottle in her purse and a larger one in her suitcase. She’d been sanitizing her hands like crazy since the line dancing.
“Doesn’t kill the Norovirus. They put that out to make the passengers feel better. Your best bet is to wash your hands with soap and hot water multiple times a day. For as long as it takes you to sing the Happy Birthday song. Or ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’ And try not to touch anything.”
“I haven’t sung ‘Twinkle Twinkle’ since you were little, Tiffany,” Linda said. Toni appreciated her finding a silver lining to this crisis.
“This isn’t exactly the relaxing, leave-all-your-troubles-at-the-dock cruise I was expecting.”
The woman looked re
signed. “Be glad it’s not Ebola.”
“Ebola?” She said it so loud that people at the table behind them stopped their conversation and turned to stare.
“Sure. Last cruise I was on, some poor woman had been on a plane with someone who nursed someone who’d come in contact with Ebola. She was quarantined for the entire cruise and Belize turned us away.”
“Oh, how awful. Is she okay?”
The woman snorted. “She never got sick. She didn’t have Ebola. We got an extra sea day, though.”
“Wow. I never knew cruising could be so dangerous.”
As they left the dining room, Linda said, “I want to go to the casino, but I’m scared to touch anything. Not the cards, not the slot machines, not the tables.”
Since her mother was a notoriously bad gambler, Toni realized that another positive thing had come from this outbreak. “Never mind, Mama. Why don’t we check out the stage show? We can do that without touching anything.”
As they made their way through the hallways toward the elevators, they passed several blue overall–clad crew members delivering trays to the rooms of the afflicted.
“It looks like we’ve been invaded by extraterrestrials,” Linda whispered, oddly echoing Toni’s earlier thoughts.
When they got to the elevator, there were eight or ten people waiting. Toni and Linda glanced at each other. “Stairs?”
“Yeah. And don’t touch the railings.”
She hoped to heaven the seas stayed calm, because she and her mom believed that every night on board a cruise was dress-up night and they had the high heels and gowns to prove it.
One lurch from a rogue wave and they’d be tumbling down the staircase like pins at the local five-pin bowling alley.
Chapter Seven
Vanity, working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief.
