He nodded. “I had them get you some of that chicken you like, I know you’re not a huge steak eater like the guys, so it’s out there.”
The gesture meant a lot, and she told him so as he left the room, locking it behind him. Glad to have a few moments alone, she reached in and turned the shower on, letting the water heat up. It was very hard to get time alone on tour, especially with this many people around, and she knew she should enjoy it while she had it. Pulling her cell phone out, she set the alarm, that way she would know how long she had until she had to go eat.
Glancing around, she made sure there were no more doors in the small room. Once she verified there weren’t, she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped out of the boots and jeans she’d worn for the concert. Stuffing them in her bag, she took off her necklace and went about removing her makeup with a makeup wipe. The best thing about showering in these facilities were that they were usually sports team facilities and the water would stay hot forever…it was getting steamy in the room when she heard a key in the lock. Scrambling, she tried to get her clothes back on before the door opened, but she wasn’t quick enough.
“Give me just a second,” she said as the door clicked and the lock turned again.
“Nah, just stay the way you are.”
His voice was deep, a dark edge to it that made her freeze and goose bumps pop all over her body. It was usually that way after he’d spent over an hour abusing it on stage, giving fans exactly what they wanted. There was a dimmer in the room, and he turned the lights down so that they weren’t so bright. The muted light along with the steam from the shower cast the room in an almost dreamlike state.
“We don’t have a lot of time, Reaper,” Hannah warned him, already breathless.
“An hour and twenty minutes. We have plenty of time,” he argued, stalking over to where she stood, her back against the vanity.
She felt hunted as he slowly made his way over to her. The only thing he’d removed once he’d come off stage were the in-ear monitors she’d given him for Christmas and his sunglasses. Reaper was on, full-force, and it excited her more than she dared tell anyone. It was embarrassing how quickly her body reacted to him when he looked at her like this—when he treated her like this, but it was their own little secret. Licking her lips, she put her hands against the vanity, gripping the edge, not sure at all what he wanted her to do.
Purposely, Reaper didn’t say a word as he walked over to where she stood, paralyzed. Until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Watching you is one of my favorite pastimes, and I can tell from every indication that you’re turned the fuck on. The rapid rise and fall of your chest, the swells of your breasts pushing against the cups of your bra. Were you taking your makeup off when I came in? You’re eyeliner and mascara is smudged at your waterline. And shit, your hair…you must have just taken it down because it has that just-been-fucked look.”
She closed her eyes, swallowing roughly as he crowded into her space. He slapped both of his hands on either side of her hips, clutching the edge of the vanity himself.
“What do you say we give up the pretense of the just-been-fucked look and make it the fucked look?”
Her breath pushed out in a loud gasp as he abandoned his slow ascent and grasped her around the waist, setting her on the vanity. “Yes,” she told him. “Please.”
Game on.
Chapter Five
* * *
Wasting no time, Reaper reached up, grasping her hair in his hand, tilting her head back so that he exposed her neck to his mouth, and he attacked. Pulling his mouth back from her flesh, he moved his lips to her ear, and in that voice full of gravel, he let her know exactly what he was thinking. “There’s no slow build up here, honey, it’s gonna be a one way ticket to getting off. Both of us.”
She was totally on board with that. In whatever way he wanted to have her. Her mind went blank and she felt—she allowed herself to feel everything. He had pushed so far onto the vanity that her back was pressed up against the coolness of the mirror, the vanity was hard under her bottom, but that was okay, she knew he would take care of her. Her hands itched to touch him as she ran her fingers down his body. He was still clothed and it frustrated her. Grasping at anything she could, she tore his shirt off in a frenzy, wanting to see the ink on his body, the “H” tattoo that was hers, wanting to see the muscles she loved.
Widening her thighs, Reaper made room for himself there, needing to feel her against him. “This isn’t going to take long, I’ve wanted you since this afternoon when you loved the dark look,” he told her as he pulled her off the vanity and turned her so that she faced the mirror.
Hannah wasn’t sure she could handle looking in the mirror as they did this, there was something so much more intimate about it. Letting her head drop between her shoulder blades, she moaned when his large hand grasped her hips and tilted her up towards him.
Running his hand over her still covered ass, he growled as he grasped the sides of the fabric and pushed them down just far enough on her thighs. Stepping closer, he kicked her feet apart so that he would have room there. With jerky moves, he unfastened his belt and pushed his zipper down so that he could free himself from the confines of his boxer briefs.
“You like this?” he asked as he put one hand on her stomach and ran it down the middle of her body. Once there, his finger dipped into the heat he could feel emanating from her body. “Fuck, you’re wet.” He rested his forehead against her back, wanting to get himself under some semblance of control before he did this. There was one thing to pretend to take her like a groupie, there was a complete other thing to actually take her like a groupie.
“Take me, Reaper,” she was breathless, heaving against his body, against his hand that cupped her mound.
If that’s what she wanted, then he would give it to her. “Look at yourself, look at us,” he directed her. When she wouldn’t lift her head up, he reached up and clasped his hand around her neck, forcing their eyes to meet in the mirror. “Look at how sexy you are,” he praised her, reaching the same hand down to her lace-covered breast, pulling one free, so that he could grab the hard nipple between his fingers.
When he shoved himself home, he worried about spilling right then and had to stop, gulping in deep breathes and resting his head against her back. She could completely undo him with the way she gave herself over, and the way she was so open with him.
“Move, Reaper,” she pleaded. “Please move.” She bit her lip, meeting his eyes again in the mirror.
“You’re so sweet when you beg.” He grasped her around the waist with his full arm and crushed her against him. “Is this what you want?”
“Yes.” She braced herself against the vanity as he pounded into her. He could see her scramble for purchase each time he withdrew and slammed back home. It was rough, and fast, and everything he’d always had with other women, but so much more. That emotional connection he had with her made it completely out of control, completely exciting in a different way. When she dropped her guard and let him have her, he wanted to shout to the world how manly he felt. He wanted to roar that she was his.
Knowing they really didn’t have a lot of time, he sped up his thrusts, wanting them both to get there, needing to prove to her that he could please them both. When he felt her hand come behind her and grab his thigh, he grasped the hand and moved it to the front of her body to her core. “Take us both there, babe. Take us both there.”
She knew what he wanted, and as she worked her hand against herself, she touched him too. She loved the hard grunts coming from his mouth, the breathless gasps coming from hers, and she hoped that nobody was close enough to hear this. She knew they should have some control and some willpower, but this was exciting, and she was thankful she had a husband who was willing to do these types of things with her.
“I’m there,” he growled in her ear, his thrusts picking up speed as he buried his face in her neck to smother the sound of his completion.
“M
e too.” Hannah thrust back against him, having no control over her body. It had a mind of its own as she ground against him, against her hand, against both their bodies. It all felt amazingly good, and she knew she had to keep herself under control. “Reaper,” she breathed, and right then he saved her, bringing his hand up to cover her mouth, allowing her to bite into the flesh as she gave her body over to the rush.
Minutes later, when he’d finally stopped pulsing inside her and they’d collapsed against each other, hearts pounding, her alarm went off.
“Crap,” she laughed.
“Don’t worry,” he cleared his throat, fighting against the lethargy. “I’m the front man, they aren’t gonna leave without me.”
She couldn’t help it, she giggled against his conceited answer. One day she’d have to put a stop to his ego, but at times like this, she loved this part of his personality. “C’mon, let’s get cleaned up.” She pushed against where he had layered himself against her back.
“You keep pushing against my dick like that and we won’t be going anywhere,” he threatened, his eyes meeting hers in the mirror.
She could think of worse ways to spend a night, but she kept that thought to herself.
Chapter Six
* * *
February
“Are you coming in for Valentine’s Day next week?” Hannah asked Shell as the two of them FaceTimed. Hannah was getting ready for the Grammy awards. Miracle of all miracles, she and Garrett had been nominated; their song just making the cut off. To say she was nervous was an understatement, so she did what she always did: talked to her best friend.
Shell bit her lip. “I’m not sure. I have a lot of work to do. This stuff is way fucking harder than I thought it would be. I mean like a million times harder than I thought it would be, but I want to. Damn, do I want to. I miss all y’all, and I so wish I was there for you tonight.”
Hannah said what Shell wouldn’t or couldn’t. She still couldn’t get a feel for the two of them. “You mean you miss Jared, and it’s okay that you’re not here tonight. It’s going to be Garrett and me. We’re both very nervous, but excited at the same time”
“Well yeah, but it doesn’t do any good to complain about it, and there’s nothing that I can do about it, at this point. I hate missing out on huge accomplishments like this. You could win as not only performer but songwriter, Hannah. Don’t you realize how special that is?”
“I do realize how special that is, but this is my life right now, and the two of us are on separate paths. I wouldn’t want you to change anything for me. I understand, but I’m kind of worried about Jared. He misses you too, and so do I, but he really misses you.” She struggled with how much to tell her, because most of what she had to tell were observations and not words that had been spoken aloud. He was still just as quiet as ever, but his emotions were starting to come through in the way he watched her and Garrett, the way he glanced at the screen of his cell phone when he thought no one else looked. On accident, Hannah had found out a picture of Shell was his lock screen.
Shell thought it was nice to hear that from someone, because she wondered sometimes. “I can never really tell when I talk to him. Sometimes I think it, but he acts like things are fucking amazing.”
“I seriously think that’s a defense mechanism with him. He doesn’t want you to feel bad about deciding to go do this for yourself. He doesn’t want to be the reason you don’t follow your dreams,” Hannah tried her best to explain. The many conversations she and Jared had while putting puzzles together played through her mind. He, like the rest of them, was a master at hiding things he didn’t want others to see.
“Is he having a hard time?” Shell asked. “And I don’t mean with me not being there, I’m talking about the other stuff.”
That was one of the major things Hannah had worried about when she decided to go on tour with them. If Jared went back to using drugs, would she be able to handle it? So far that hadn’t been a problem. He hadn’t even touched wine or beer. “So far, so good, but I know he needs to see you soon. Heck, I need to see you soon. It’s been almost five weeks.”
Tears pooled in Shell’s eyes, and she had a hard time talking against the lump in her throat. “I know, it’s been forever.”
Hannah knew she may hate herself for doing this, but she had to ask, she had to put it out there. She couldn’t stand for a friend, a sister, to look this miserable. “Nobody is going to think badly of you if you decide this is something you don’t want to do. You’ll always be paid as part of my management group—even if I decide not to go back to singing. There will always be something for you to do. You don’t have to do this to prove a point to anyone.”
“Not even to myself?” she whispered. “I was so gung ho about it, how I was going to show everyone how strong I am, but I’m not. Fuck, I miss you all, and I’m a hot mess when it comes to the campus life too. Most of the classes are online, but I have to go to campus for two of them, and even though we’re roughly the same age as the seniors, they are so fucking immature.”
“Then why are you doing this to yourself, honey?” Hannah asked softly. There was no reason for her to be pushing herself.
“Because I’m stubborn and I want to see the things I start through. I’m not a quitter.” Her voice was as strong as she could make it, but even then it was still weak. They could both hear it.
If there was one thing Hannah would have never labeled her friend, it was quitter. “No, you aren’t, and just because you’ve tried something and you’ve found it’s not for you doesn’t mean you’re a quitter either. It means you gave it your best shot and it just didn’t work out.”
“Have I given it my best shot?” She was weakening. God, she missed her friends.
“Only you can answer that.” It killed Hannah to see her friend looking like this. “What I’m saying to you is if you’re doing this as some sort of way to prove to yourself you can stand without me, stop. You hold me up most of the time. If you’re doing this to prove you can live without Jared, stop.”
Shell opened her mouth, but Hannah cut her off, holding up her hand to the screen of the cell phone. The universal sign for “let me have my peace.”
“If you’re doing this because you want to further your education, then please continue. But I’m here to tell you, nothing is worth being as miserable as you look. Stop punishing yourself and come join us on the road.”
“I wanna give it one more week. I want to make sure I’m not making a knee-jerk reaction and I’m not jealous because y’all are traveling together and I’m not used to being alone.”
“One more week,” Hannah conceded. “Then you decide. It’s tearing me apart to see you look as sad as you do, Jared to look as sad as he does, and for me to miss my best friend. There’s no sense in this. It’s BS.” She frowned as she caught the time on her phone. “I really gotta go because I have to meet Garrett to do the red carpet.”
They talked for a few more minutes before hanging up.
“Did you talk some sense into her?”
Hannah wasn’t surprised Jared had been listening to her conversation with his girlfriend. It was only going to be her and her husband at the awards show, but the band had flown in to show support, and Stacey was spending the night with Brad. Garrett still wasn’t happy about his sister in a relationship with a band member. She still had awkward moments when anyone mentioned the dinner where he and Brad had almost comes to blows. “I hope so, but you never know with her.”
“I’ve been trying to talk her into coming with us for weeks. Maybe she cares about you enough to do it.”
The way he said it made her heart constrict. “Oh Jared, she cares about you, but she’s scared.”
“And she doesn’t think I am? Love is scary.” He rubbed his chest, pulling his lip ring between his teeth.
A small smile played on Hannah’s lips. This was the first time he’d ever alluded, at least to her in words, that he loved her friend. “Love is very scary, but sometimes you have
to throw up your hands and let it lead you whichever way it may.”
“Kinda like letting Jesus take the wheel?” His tone was dry.
She laughed. “Exactly like that. Maybe that should be your new motto.”
“Ha! They’d send me straight to hell.”
He got up, walking out of the lounge area as she called out words to his back. “I have a feelin’ she’ll be here for Valentine’s Day! You better have a good gift for her, or else you’ll have to answer to me.”
Laughter could be heard in the commons area of the hotel, and she could tell the guys were laughing at her, but that was okay. If it helped Shell become a more permanent part of their lives on the road, they could laugh at her all they wanted to. It wasn’t the first time, and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last.
Chapter Seven
* * *
“Are you sure you have everything you need?”
Hannah felt like she and Garrett were going to the prom. He’d posted a ton of pictures of them on Instagram, and they’d posed for even more so that the band and management could take pictures of them together. Now Stacey and Marie were situating them this way, and that, trying to make sure that they looked flawless together.
“I have everything,” Hannah assured them.
“Garrett, make sure you help her when she steps out of the limo,” Marie told her son as she shook out the train on Hannah’s dress, a Cavalli number that had been expressed for her.
He rolled his eyes at his wife, pulling a face that caused her to giggle. “Mom, I think I got my wife, it’s good.”
“I’m just so proud.” She pulled them both into a hug.
Garrett pulled back and looked at Hannah in a way that made her heart stop and breath become shallow. “If anyone’s proud, it’s me. All I did was sing on it; she wrote it. This night is hers. Tonight I’m the arm candy.”
Full Circle (Rockin' Country Book 3) Page 4
