“You’ve never been here?” He grabbed her hand and pulled her close as a skateboarder went flying by them.
“No, usually when I’m here, I’m either with you or Hannah. Let’s face it, we don’t get out much, and we usually don’t leave the hotel.”
That made him feel like a bastard. His damage was his own, and he could see clearly now he’d been pushing a lot of his own insecurities off on her and their relationship. They had been together for a year, and he’d not once thought to invite her to his home before today. If he wanted to prove to her how serious he was, things were going to have to change.
“I’m sorry about that.”
The tone of his voice caused her to stop in her tracks and look at him. “Oh, I didn’t mean it that way J, I promise. I understand you are who you are, and you have things going on that really don’t have anything to do with me.”
Grabbing her hand, he pulled her into the shadows of two buildings and pressed her against the wall. Wanting to see her blue eyes, he pushed her sunglasses up over her head. Nothing in his life had prepared him for this woman. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m glad I did it.”
Shell had to anchor herself to keep from falling forward as she stared into the depths of his brown eyes. He was normally high on alert, always taking in what happened around them, but right now, they were focused solely on her. They had deepened and warmed to a darker color that resembled the bottle of Jack he had favored when he was a drinker. “If you keep giving me praise, I’m going to expect it all the time,” she teased, grasping his T-shirt in her hands.
Boxing her in with his hands against the concrete of the building, Jared leaned forward. “You should be getting it all the time, and the fact you’re not is my fault. I want to make this work, Michelle, and I’m coming to realize that in order for it to work, I have to put in the time. I can’t expect you to make all the sacrifices.”
He was so far up in her space she could smell the cologne he wore, she could see the stubble on his cheeks, and it made her swallow hard. When Jared got intense, her body responded in ways she couldn’t explain. “I don’t,” she assured him, digging her fingers harder into his T-shirt.
“You do.” He dropped one hand to her neck, caressing the tendon.
She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, loving the feel of his fingertips, calloused from years of playing the guitar, rubbing against her neck. “No I don’t. I simply understand you’re a different kind of guy,” she told him slowly, pushing her neck into his caress.
This woman was going to be the death of him. He had never been with anyone who was so receptive to his touch. Granted, he’d never really felt the need to touch any of the other women he’d been with, but with Shell, he constantly wanted to be touching her. The fact that she always got into it, like a cat getting into a petting, always turned him on. Leaning closer to her, he couldn’t help himself, he captured her lips with his own.
If there was one thing this man knew how to do, it was kiss. Every time their lips touched he owned her. He wasn’t the type to take it balls to the wall in ten seconds; kissing Jared was a slow seduction in and of itself. He took his time, coaxing her to let him in, and when she did, he took complete control of the kiss. Before she knew it, his hands were in her hair, directing their movements, and he’d completely crowded into her space. Jared’s body was flat against hers, enveloping her in the feel, smell, and aura that was all his.
Jared was on fire, and when she pushed her fingers past the hem of his T-shirt to make their skin touch, a growl escaped the back of his throat. He lost his mind with her. No drugs he’d ever done, no drink he’d ever drank could compare to how she made him feel. He was wild with her in a way he’d never been, even when using illegal substances. It gave her the kind of power he’d never wanted to give another human being, but he gladly handed it over to her. Pulling himself slightly back from her, he broke the kiss, using soft ones to bring them down from the high of arousal. “We can’t do this here,” he groaned in her ear.
“I know.” She buried her head in his neck, trying desperately to steady her breathing. “You do things to me no one else has ever done,” she admitted, kissing him on the ink he sported there.
“Feeling is totally mutual, Shell, but we gotta get this shit under control. We can’t fuck in an alleyway at the beach.”
She giggled at his words. “You’re right. Then we’ll be competing with Hannah and Garrett for tabloid time.”
He’d had enough of the tabloids to last a lifetime. They’d had a field day with his trips to rehab. “C’mon, hot stuff, let’s go get some breakfast.”
Putting her hand in his, she let him lead the way, content to enjoy whatever the day would bring them.
Chapter Twenty-Six
* * *
September
Hannah slammed her hand down on Garrett’s thigh, halting his leg from shaking. They sat in the waiting area of her doctor’s office, hoping her name would be called next.
“Would you stop?” She laughed, grinning over at him. “Pulling a muscle won’t help anything.”
“I can’t help it.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m nervous. This is the first time I’ve been able to come to this doctor with you, and today we find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. It’s a big day.”
She could understand his excitement. It was a big day. In private, they had discussed for months what they would name a boy or a girl, and finally last night they had come to conclusions about two names. Today, they would know what their child would be named, they would know the gender, and they could start decorating and making concrete plans.
“I’m as nervous as he is,” her mom said from where she sat across from them.
“Me too,” Marie agreed where she sat next to Hannah’s mom.
They had agreed to invite their moms to this appointment. They knew there would be no peace unless they did. Their moms were very excited and at this point a little annoying.
“Hannah Thompson,” the nurse called as she came through the door that lead to the examination rooms.
“Okay, Moms, we’ll have someone come get you when they’re ready to do the sonogram, I promise,” she told them as she stood up, grabbing Garrett’s hand. This was his first appointment with her, and she wanted to let them both have some privacy and memories of their own.
They made their way to the back and were ushered into an empty room.
“I hate being in doctor’s offices,” he whispered to her.
“Why are you whispering?”
“It’s so quiet in here, I’m afraid to speak too loudly.” He grinned. “Plus, it’s nice to be away from the probing eyes of our mothers.”
“I know.” She laughed. “They were getting on my nerves with all their questions. I love them, but they have to remember this isn’t their pregnancy.”
He shivered. “Thank God for that.”
She giggled again, a huge smile on her face.
“I love that smile,” he told her as he leaned over, giving her a kiss.
A knock sounded on the door, and Dr. Willis walked in, grinning at the two of them. “I heard the giggling out there. How are the three of you doing?”
“Good.” Hannah nodded. “I’d like you to finally meet my husband, Garrett.”
Introductions were made, and he did all the normal things he did at an appointment before he helped her sit up.
“Do the two of you have any questions for me? Anything going on that I need to know about?”
Garrett cleared his throat. “I do have a question. We’re touring until November. At that point, we’re done while we record—except for a few weeks in Asia next April, but I worry about her continuing on with us. I don’t want her to get too tired and it start to cause issues.”
Hannah didn’t know what to say. He’d not shared these concerns with her. She knew from his tone and the way he faced the doctor head-on that he was seriously concerned. This had obviously been weighing h
eavily on his mind.
“Of course with any pregnancy a lot of that depends on the lady carrying the child. Hannah’s in great condition. She seems to be taking care of herself.”
“Damn straight.” Garrett nodded. There was nothing in the world that meant more to him than making sure she was taken care of.
The doctor indulged him and kept going. “As long as she feels fine, there’s no extreme swelling, and her blood pressure stays good, then I have no doubts she can keep going until November. Flying might be the only thing I would check on, but from everything I’ve gathered, this tour is by bus?”
“Right,” she confirmed. “I haven’t felt bad, I promise.” She grabbed Garrett’s hand. “Well, except for those first few months, and if I can live through that, I can live through anything.”
“I did want to verify,” the doctor looked down at the chart in his hand, “you two are planning on having the child here, is that correct?”
They hadn’t talked about it one way or another, but Hannah knew she would be more comfortable here. “I hope to,” she said diplomatically.
“If that’s what you want, babe, that’s what we’ll do.”
“The only reason I ask is that I have the name of a colleague I trust near you in California. I have a lot of patients in the same business as you, and they are dual coast. Would you like that information before you leave?”
“Yes, just in case,” Hannah told him. “We’ll be ending the tour and staying at our house in Huntington Beach for the holidays this year, so I want to make sure everything is taken care of.”
He made a note in his chart. “Perfect, I’ll have the nurse give you that info before you leave. I also wrote down a couple of pediatricians for you out there. That’s something you’re going to need to think about too, especially if you plan on going back and forth between here and there.”
That was something she hadn’t even thought of, but she didn’t want to say that out loud. “Thank you so much!”
“If there are no more questions, I’ll have the nurse bring your moms in, and we’ll get this show on the road.”
* * *
Hannah had never been so nervous in her life. It wasn’t like this was something she could pass or fail. Her life didn’t hang in the balance of this answer, but she wanted the answer desperately. They had just gotten their moms situated at the back of the room so they could see the monitor, and Garrett was sitting right next to her, holding her hand.
“I love you,” he told her as he leaned over and kissed her forehead.
“Love you too.” She took a minute to look at him. This was the father of her child, and within the next few minutes, they would know if they had a son or a daughter. This moment, the fact that he was so excited about it and wanted to be there with her made her love him even more than she had before.
“Are we ready?”
“As we’ll ever be,” Hannah answered. “I wanna know how I can decorate these nurseries.” She laughed.
“We need to know what kind of clothing we can buy,” Marie piped up from where she sat.
“They’re already planning on spoiling this kid, mom and dad.” The technician laughed as she got her set-up ready and pushed Hannah’s shirt up over her belly.
Not many people had called her mom, and it surprised her by making her a little teary. “I know, we’re gonna have our hands full no matter if this is a boy or a girl.”
Garrett gripped her hand harder as the technician dimmed the lights in the room, sat down, and turned on the machine. He watched as she put some gel on Hannah’s stomach and then placed the smooth side of the wand she held in her hands on Hannah’s bump.
“I’ve been feeling it down here.” Hannah pointed a little further down than where the woman had started to search for their child.
When she took the direction, they heard a very loud thumping fill the room. “There’s the heartbeat. Good, steady, and strong. Very healthy.”
Hannah smiled as she saw the outline of their baby on the screen. This time she gripped Garrett’s hand harder, wishing she could share the feeling she had with him.
“Let’s see if we can tell if this is a boy or a girl.”
They watched as the lady maneuvered around Hannah’s stomach and then started clicking buttons on the machine. “Here, we’ve got fingers and toes.” She pointed. “And look, we’ve got a thumb sucker.”
Garrett felt his breath catch in his throat, and it was hard to swallow as he heard the woman speak. It was all so real, and to see his child suck their thumb? That was almost his undoing.
“Are we ready to find out what we’re having? I can tell very easily.” The tech grinned at the rest of the people in the room.
“We are so ready,” Hannah told her.
“Alright, you two. It looks like we’ve got us a rocker—you’re having a boy.”
Garrett felt as if he’d been punched in the chest his emotions hit him so hard. He did not want to cry in front of these women, so he pushed it back and bent over so he could bury his head in Hannah’s neck. “Thank you,” he whispered to her. “You made dreams I didn’t even know I had come true.”
He took a moment to compose himself and then lifted his head to look at his mom. Marie had tears streaming down her face. “So what are we naming him?” she asked, clapping her hands.
Hannah wiped the tears off her own face and grinned over at them. “Everett James Thompson—welcome to the world.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
* * *
Halloween
“I hope you two have a good time tonight.” Hannah sighed as she switched her sitting position, stretching her back out. “I wish we were going with you.”
“Me too.” Shell glanced at her in the mirror as she finished getting ready. She and Jared would be going to an event a friend of his was hosting. They were in California for a few days, and it just so happened to fall on Halloween. She was excited to meet other friends of his besides the band. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just starting to get uncomfortable. I’m so glad we only have a few more weeks of this tour left. I’m not sure my back can take much more. Don’t mind me, I’m just fat, and tonight I’m living vicariously through the two of you.”
“No you’re not. You’re having a baby. You’re gorgeous, Han, the most beautiful pregnant woman I’ve ever seen.”
“I know, I just feel huge today. I think I’m hitting that miserable stage.” She waved it off. “I had to buy new maternity clothes yesterday, and you look all hot.” Hannah raised an eyebrow, looking her friend up and down. Shell was wearing leather pants, a white tank top that had “Black Friday” on it, and had her hair done all JBF like.
Shell laughed. “You’ll look all hot in a few months, and you’ll have a child. I think the tradeoff is pretty awesome,” Shell whispered.
There was something about the way Shell said those words that made Hannah do a double take. “Shell, are you thinking about things with Jared?”
Shell hadn’t meant to get into this at all. These were thoughts she had on her own, that she never voiced aloud, and she sure as hell hadn’t meant to do it right at this moment. “Sometimes, I think about what it would be like to be married to him, you know, to have the relationship that you and Garrett have. I feel like we’re close sometimes, and then something happens to pull us back. I want more,” she admitted.
“Have you talked to Jared about it?”
“No, I don’t want to pressure him, and I feel like at this point I’ve gotten all he’s going to give me.”
That broke Hannah’s heart. As much as Shell wanted the relationship like she shared with her husband, Hannah wanted that for her too. “How are you going to know unless you ask?”
“Jared’s not like Garrett,” Shell argued.
“No, but I feel like I’ve gotten to know Jared pretty well. He’s not as closed off as he used to be.”
It was odd to explain it to someone who didn’t live the same life as h
er, didn’t have the same relationship. “He trusts you because he hasn’t given you his heart. He trusts everybody more than he trusts me. It was like the minute he told me he loved me, he almost became more closed off. It’s the most frustrating thing ever.”
“But you love him too, right?” Hannah was beginning to get a sinking feeling about this. She wanted Shell happy, not stuck in a relationship where she was settling.
“I do, and I thought after he let me come visit his house in California, we were turning a corner, but last week, I don’t know…” she trailed off.
“What happened last week?”
It was embarrassing to admit this to someone who knew the two of them. “I asked him if it would be okay if I took a box of stuff to his house, because I know you’ll be spending time out here. I figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but he acted like I had asked him to marry me. He got mad.”
“Really?” Hannah couldn’t imagine that making Jared mad. The Jared he was when they first met him, yes, but not the Jared he’d turned into.
“He all but accused me of inserting myself into his life in ways he doesn’t want me there. I’m not going to lie, it hurt, but he’s a hard man to love. It’s hard to get a feel forhim every day. I just brushed it off, assuming he was having a bad day.” Shell shrugged. “He hasn’t mentioned it since.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” Hannah pushed herself up off her seat and waddled over to hug her friend. “He’s hard to love.”
“Girl, you have no idea.”
* * *
Four hours later, Shell was wondering why Jared had invited her. He hadn’t paid much attention to her the entire night, and to help him with his issues, she’d refrained from drinking. At this point, she needed a shot of something very strong. As she saw the fifth girl approach him and smile up into his eyes with a “fuck me” stare, she was at the end of her rope. Since he’d come to pick her up, she’d known something was off, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. She got up off her stool and walked over to where he stood talking to a few friends she still hadn’t been introduced to.
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