by Gigi Aceves
I go to my angels, standing between their beds, because I can’t decide which one I want to meet first. They’re both special to me, and for a while, I was afraid I couldn’t share my heart with anyone, because it’s always been Trish’s. But now, I marvel at the greatness of how God created the human heart. I know now that it has different rooms, each one specifically for that special person you have in your heart. My girls, now hold two specific rooms in mine. One that’s only meant for each of them, and totally different from Trish’s. A sadness grips my heart, because I am Trish’s one. In my heart, I want to be their one, but I know I can’t…more importantly, I couldn’t. I push the thought away, needing to enjoy my moment with my girls…by myself…just the three of us.
With fingers on each of their cheeks, I caress both of them gently. Bending over slightly, I begin talking to them, wanting the first time they hear my voice to be full of love and adoration.
“Hey, my angels, it’s daddy. I can’t wait to hold you both. I love you both, so much, more than you’ll ever know.” I watch as the one on my right seems to sink into my touch, while my other daughter’s tongue sticks out a bit. Taking a deep breath, thinking she’s giving me an attitude already.
“Which one is which, Jake?” I turn toward Laura, mouthing ‘thank you’ for standing guard.
“Well, let’s see. My quiet princess, here, is Jaelin. Her name means tranquil, one who heals.” Looking at my other precious princess. “My loud very vocal princess here, is Jillian. Her name means youthful, vibrant. And, that she is.”
“Mr. Oliver, we need to take them to the NICU. Give us an hour to get them situated.” I face the nurse you interrupted my time with my girls, and before I can say something, my mom speaks for me.
“Oh, yeah right. Jake, tend to your wife. We’ll follow the kids to the NICU. See you there in a bit.”
My mom pushes me aside, and my heart hurts a little, seeing them wheel my life away. Then Trish calls me, and the ruler of my heart pulls me to her slowly…strongly….lovingly.
I run my hand over her head, comforting my very tired wife. Placing my forehead against hers, I say another prayer of thanks to the One who has blessed me with so much…given me more than I deserve, and faithfully rains down mercies from heaven that others neglect to notice. As for me and others who have faced death’s door, moments such as these are treasured more than they’re forgotten, and valued more than they’re neglected.
“Ready for our fast five, Jake?” He nods, overwhelmed by his own emotions as he buries his face in my neck.
“Tyler?”
“Our Point Man, the first one out, clearing the way for his brother and sisters. He’s calm and patient, nothing like me, my mom says.”
“Trevor?”
“Our fighter. He’s strong, solid like my dad and yours. He peed on his nurse, what a show off.”
I giggle knowing in my heart, my Trevor will surely light our world, or more than likely shake our mostly quiet life, but excitedly and willingly, I’ll embrace and wait patiently for those moments.
“Jillian?”
“Our diva. The second oldest. She’s gonna break a lot of hearts, and I’m all for that, just not mine, babe. Tell her not to break mine.”
Shaking my head, I tell myself my husband will probably say this until my daughters turn fifty. His open kisses temper the need to want to see my children, again. If I could only run to them right now, I would.
“Jaelin?”
“Our quiet healer, just like her mommy. My heart instantly calmed when I touched her cheek, babe. I only ever feel that with you. Tell her not to leave me, please.”
I can’t help, but play around with him. He has always told me that he’ll never favor one over the other. Testing his resolve is a good source of distraction, right now.
“So, you favor Jaelin over Jillian? What happened to ‘I won’t have a favorite’?”
He pulls back from me, he gives me a shocked look. “Jaelin quiets my heart much like how you calm me, where I can see things perfectly, but Jillian sparks my heart as you always do, too. It was the same feeling when I first saw you, babe; when my heart told me you’re my one.” He scrunches his brows and sadness covers his eyes, then he looks away from me.
“Eyes on me, husband. What’s wrong? Is there something wrong with them?” Panic is rising from my belly and now stuck in my throat.
Shaking his head, probably to clear the cloud in his brain, he says, “No, they’re fine. It’s just imagining I’m not going to be their ‘one’, already breaks my heart. I just want my angels to only love me, you know? I mean, they can love you, of course, but I just want me to be their world as they are mine. I’m their dad, after all, and I’ll give them everything. Other stupid, ballless, idiots won’t even come close to how much I love them. So, maybe you can teach them to only have eyes for me, just their daddy. Maybe, we should move somewhere, out of the city. Somewhere remote, it’s safer anyway. What do you say?”
I don’t know what to say at this point. I’m shocked, though, probably I shouldn’t be because my Jake will be Jake.
I want to laugh out loud, because he’s mumbling crazy stuff. I probably should expect this type of behavior from my husband.
He lost me once he said we’ll move out of the city. I shouldn’t be surprised because my Jake is extreme most times.
I’m speechless, replaying everything he just said though probably I shouldn’t be. He’s left me in this state more often than I can count.
Calming my husband is important, because if I leave him in this state, our mothers would want to kill him. I’d prefer to have someone to help me raise our kids.
“Kiss me, Jake.” He does, and just like always, I forget everything when he kisses me. Pulling strength from somewhere, I reluctantly end our kissing fest.
“Listen, Jake. You will always be our one. The one who will love us, unconditionally, at all times. The one who will provide a good life for us. The one who will protect us against all enemies, foreign and domestic,” I laugh out loud saying this, because truly he will. “The one who will sacrifice anything and everything to give us more. The one who will be the last to take and the first to give. You are just ‘our one’. So, don’t think for a second, someone will ever take your place. In my heart and in theirs, they know who their one is without me telling them. So, do me a favor, check on my children, and give me a sit rep, okay?”
Then, he gifts me with his smile only meant for me. “But, we didn’t finish our fast five, babe.”
“Oh, um….heart?”
Holding my face tenderly in his hands, he answers, and my heart explodes into many fragments of love, contentment, joy, completeness, satisfaction, and a whole lot of gratitude to our family’s ‘ONE’.
“My heart is full, Trish, full of you and our children. It’s happy, because of your smile and theirs. It’s satisfied, because of your love and theirs. It’s excited to face life with you on one side and them on the other. It’s lacking nothing, because of your love and theirs. It’s not searching for anything, because I already found my ‘one’, and my ‘all’, they just arrived. Thank you for you and for them. I love you, Tricia Ann Oliver. I’m glad I waited, and I’m glad you accepted, but more than anything, I’m glad we made a family so beautiful that my unbreakable became my forevermore.
After growing up in the Philippines, I now live in California with my husband and two girls. My husband survived two bouts of cancer, AML Leukemia and Mucoid Carcinoma; hence, the inspiration for Unbreakable. I thank the good Lord for healing my husband, twice. It can't get any better than that.
Our oldest, Andrea is a junior in APU. When she looks at my computer, the first thing out of her mouth is “Mom! What are you looking at? Dad!” Our youngest, Allysa is a freshman in high school. The few times she passed by me and looked over my shoulder when I was writing, her reaction was, “Mom! I'm telling dad!” There you have it; I have two double agents in my house. What happened to loyalty?
If my hus
band is the ying to my yang, Andrea is the Marlin to my Dory while Allysa is the Buzz Lightyear to my Woody. I love the beach, but I hate the sand; I love to travel, but I hate to fly; I love to eat but, I hate gaining weight (all women can relate to this); and so goes my little quirks in life.
Am I crazy? Well, the jury is still out on that one; however, I'd like to think if I can make one person smile with my craziness, it's all worth it.
Connect with me on:
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Hunter Hayes ~ “Wild Card”
Matt White ~ “Love and Affection”
Michael Bublè ~ “Crazy Love”
Sara Bareilles ~ “Brave”
Nickelback ~ “Gotta Love Somebody”
The Corrs ~ “Breathless”
Andy Grammar ~ “Crazy Beautiful”
Nickelback ~ “I'd Come For You”
U2 ~ “With or Without You”
Pat Benatar ~ “We Belong”
Billy Joel ~ “A Matter Of Trust”
John Mayer ~ “Daughters”
John Mayer ~ “Say”
Griffin House ~ “Let Me In”
John Legend ~ “All Of Me”
James Morrisson ~ “You Make It Real”
Capital Cities ~ “Safe and Sound”
Pittbul, Keisha ~ “Timber”
Daughtry ~ “Start Of Something Good”
The Lumineers ~ “Ho Hey”
Griffin House ~ “Better Than Love”
Josh Groban ~ “You Raise Me Up”
Bo Bice ~ “Vehicle”
Nickelback ~ “Trying Not To Love You”
Bo Bice ~ “Inside Your Heaven”
Coldplay ~ “Fix You”
Guns N' Roses ~ “Patience”
Rascal Flatts ~ “Rewind”
Shakira ~ “The One Thing”
Macy Gray ~ “I Try”
Bon Jovi ~ “I'll Be There For You”
Kate Bush ~ “This Woman's Work”
Saliva ~ “Click Click Boom”
Mark Harris ~ “Find Your Wings”
Tag Team ~ “Whoop” (There It Is)
Third Day ~ “Your Love Oh Lord”
Richard Marx ~ “Like The World Is Ending”
Hunter Hayes ~ “When Did You Stop Loving Me”
Journey ~ “Open Arms”
Stevie Wonder ~ “Signed, Sealed, Delivered”
Kathleen Ross ~ “In The Arms Of An Angel”
Kip Moore ~ “Lead Me”
