by Lacey London
‘Alright, Paulie is not the issue here.’ Janie slides off the bed and saunters around the room. ‘Whether I stay with him or not, Randy and I are over. You just need to accept that.’
‘But why?’ I bury my face into the pillow to stop myself from screaming. ‘You haven’t even given us an actual reason as to why you’re walking away from a forty-year marriage. People your age don’t just leave their husbands to play the field with near teenagers!’
‘People my age?’ Janie growls, saving her huge implants from a near wardrobe malfunction. ‘Do you wanna clarify what you mean by that, lady?’
Quickly back tracking, I realise we aren’t going to get anywhere this evening and decide to call it a night. Hopefully Oliver has had more luck at his end. It’s getting dark outside and if I drink any more alcohol I’m not going to make it back to my room unaided. Discreetly pouring the contents of my glass onto a plant, I reach for my handbag and push myself to my feet.
‘I’m going to get back to Oliver. It’s getting late and Noah will need putting to bed.’ Holding out my arms for a hug, I curl my hands into fists to stop myself from shuddering as Janie plants a wet whisky smacker on my cheek. ‘I’ll see you in the morning.’
Trying not to think about where those lips have been, I slip out the room and creep along the lobby to the stairs. Laughter drifts out from other rooms and I can’t help but smile as a tiny voice chants Mickey Mouse over and over again. Like a very enthusiastic record stuck on repeat. Oh, to have my only worry to be which theme park to visit next. Tapping gently on our door, I am taken aback when it immediately swings open.
‘Well?’ Oliver asks hopefully, stepping back to let me inside. ‘How did it go?’
Not wanting to tell him that it actually went worse than I could ever have imagined, I offer him a tight smile and pluck Noah off the bed. ‘It could have gone better. How about you?’
‘I got nothing…’ Handing me a room service menu, he takes a seat on the windowsill and looks out at the black sky. ‘It’s like he has just… disappeared or something.’
‘Mummy?’ Noah grumbles, rubbing his tired face and throwing himself backwards. ‘Where’s Gee-Gee?’
‘Gee-Gee is going to sleep.’ I whisper, stroking his hair gently. ‘I think she has had enough for one day.’
Oliver points to the mini bar and I nod in response. Rolling his eyes, he kicks off his trainers and sighs. ‘Please tell me you haven’t eaten?’
My mind flits to the pack of Twinkies that I stole from Janie’s room. ‘Not really. Have you?’
‘Noah has. I was waiting for you to come back.’
‘Burger!’ Noah confirms happily, pointing to the room service tray that is sitting on the dressing table.
‘Did you eat all that?’ I whisper, tickling his tummy and smiling as he giggles like crazy. Pulling him onto my chest, I push myself up and yawn loudly. ‘Right, I think it’s someone’s bedtime.’
Noah shakes his head slowly and rubs his cheeks as he always does when he is tired.
‘I’ll do it.’ Oliver says, holding his hands out for our sleepy baby. ‘You phone down for some food. I’ll take the club sandwich and extra curly fries.’
Kissing Noah on the cheek, I flip open the room service menu and scan the many mouth-watering options. With a stomach filled with whisky, I need something stodgy to soak it all up before the remnants of my lunch make a reappearance. Scanning the menu with hungry eyes, I settle on a cheeseburger and phone through the order. As soon as I put down the handset my stomach growls loudly. Resisting the urge to eat Noah’s leftovers, I swap my shorts for a clean pair of pyjamas and curl up under the sheets with my phone. With the Janie bombshell taking up all of our attention, I haven’t had a minute to check my emails. Noticing that I have a ton of Tweets from Gina, who is requesting photographs for Madison, I send a bunch over and slip the handset under my pillow.
‘He’s asleep.’ Oliver whispers, closing the door to the adjoining room behind him and flipping on the baby monitor. ‘I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this, Clara. It’s not exactly what you expect while on vacation.’
‘Honestly, it’s fine. Janie is just as much my problem as she is yours.’ Flashing him a reassuring smile, I twist my hair into a messy ballerina bun as my eyes become extremely heavy. ‘I just hope she hasn’t gone too far this time.’
‘What do you mean?’ He asks wearily.
‘Well, we are going to have to start preparing ourselves for every eventuality. If she really is leaving Randy, we have to accept that and start to think of it practically. Like, where will she live? What will happen to their marital home? How will she support herself?’ Rubbing his face in agitation, he lets out a moan and cracks his knuckles. ‘Also, what if your dad doesn’t want her back? What if he is as decided on this as she is?’
‘No way.’ A flash of alarm washes across his face. ‘Dad worships my mom. Always has, always will.’
Not being as certain as he is, I chew the inside of my cheek and look down at my chipped manicure. Oliver might not want to accept that his parents might be ready to give up on their marriage, but let’s face it, with almost half of all marriages ending in divorce, the future of their relationship really does rest on the toss of a coin…
Nothing reduces the odds against you like ignoring them…
Chapter 12
It’s a new day. A new chance to take on yesterday’s problems with a whole new outlook. Although for Oliver, that outlook hasn’t changed. If anything he is even more negative than he was last night. Stepping out of the hotel lift and into the foyer I sneak a glance at Oliver, who has kept a steely expression fixed firmly to his face. From the moment he rolled out of bed this morning, he has made it clear that the first thing on his agenda is to get rid of Paulie. The most worrying thing about this, is that Oliver now intends to meet his mother’s squeeze and tell him to back the hell off. I really don’t know how he is going to react when he discovers that the infamous Paulie is actually a twenty-six-year-old boy who dances around in a dinosaur costume for a living. Call me a yellow belly, but no matter how hard I tried to bring myself to say it, I just couldn’t find the words to reveal to my husband that the man who has broken up his parent’s marriage is such a loser.
Looking around the restaurant, I squeeze through a group of children wearing mouse ears and try to pick out Janie’s unmistakable mop of hair. Not being able to locate her, I am about to turn around when a crinkly hand sticks up in the air.
‘There she is…’ Starting to walk in her direction, I realise too late that she isn’t alone.
What is she playing at? What the hell is bloody Paulie doing here? Does she want her son to go to prison? Because that’s exactly what is going to happen if I don’t find a way to divert this situation.
‘Wait!’ I yell, causing Oliver to stop dead in his tracks. ‘I... I left something in the room! Can you go and get it for me?’
‘Can’t it wait until after breakfast? What is it?’
‘My… umm… my heartburn tablets!’ Clutching my chest dramatically, I squeeze my face into what I hope is a pained expression. ‘Could you go and get them for me?’
He looks at me suspiciously for a moment before relenting.
‘Fine, you take Noah.’ Pushing the pram towards me, he slides his wallet into my pocket and makes his way back to the lift.
Waiting until he is safely out of earshot, I grab the pram and make a beeline for Janie’s table.
‘What’s going on?’ I hiss, shooting daggers at her. ‘Oliver will lose it if he sees him here!’ Stretching his arms out above his head, Paulie laughs like a naughty child and yawns lazily. ‘Do you have a bloody death wish or something? Go! Now!’
‘It’s a free country.’ He drawls, draping an arm around Janie’s leathery shoulder. ‘America – the land of the free!’
He proceeds to burst into a terrible rendition of the American national anthem and I feel my cheeks flush violently. ‘Shh! People are staring!’
/> What the hell do the two of them look like? Wearing a bright yellow bandana to match his canary shorts and vest, Paulie really does look a right plonker. They obviously don’t realise what a creepy couple they make. Janie’s mahogany creases appear ten times deeper next to Paulie’s boyish looks. Taking the opportunity to get a proper look at him, I realise that he’s even younger than I first thought. I think someone might have been telling a white lie when it comes to his age. Put it this way, I haven’t seen many twenty-six year olds with typical teenage spots and the inability to grow a beard. Then again, I dread to think how old Janie has told him she is. I would put my life on the line that she hasn’t confessed she shall soon be drawing her pension.
‘Seriously, Janie. He has to go.’
‘I’m not going anywhere.’ Paulie interjects, twirling a napkin around in the air like a pizza base. ‘Who’s this little guy?’ Poking Noah’s tummy, he proceeds to pull a series of monkey faces that cause him to erupt into manic chuckles.
Great! His training to work in an amusement park has made him a magnet for kids. With Noah laughing hysterically, it makes it near impossible to keep a straight face.
‘Just chill out, Clara! Don’t you think you’re over reacting a little?’ Taking Noah from me, Janie kicks out a chair for me to sit down and passes Noah over to Paulie.
‘Janie!’ My heart starts to pound as I spot Oliver stepping out of the lift. ‘Give him back!’
Obviously not having a clue what is going on, Noah squeals like a happy piglet as his new friend tosses him into the air playfully. Hearing Oliver’s footsteps behind me, I feel my heart momentarily freezes in my chest and brace myself for the chaos.
‘Here’s your antacids…’ His voice trails off as he pulls out a chair and orders a drink with the waiter. ‘Have you ordered food yet?’ He asks, emptying the contents of his pockets onto the table.
I shake my head slowly and lock eyes with Janie. Oh, God. He doesn’t realise who it is! Then again, I don’t think the image he has of the other man looks anything like the creep sat in front of him. Looking around the table, he puts down his menu and lets out an embarrassed laugh.
‘Sorry, dude. Didn’t see you there! Oliver, Oliver Morgan.’ He holds out his hand for Paulie’s and looks at him expectantly.
‘See!’ Janie hollers and smiles smugly at me. ‘I told you it would be alright!’
A dawning realisation creeps onto Oliver’s face. Oh, no! I look down at his hand which is still locked around Paulie’s.
‘Paulie.’ Janie confirms, quickly clearing up any confusion around our new mystery guest.
‘You’re kidding, right?’ Looking from Janie to me and back again, Oliver lets go of Paulie’s hand and snatches Noah from him. ‘This clown?’
‘Who did you think it was?’ I mumble, fastening Noah into his pram and ignore his protests.
‘Someone from the damn kiddie club.’ He keeps his eyes fixed firmly on Paulie. ‘This is some kind of joke, right? I mean, how old you? Twelve?’
‘Twenty-six, actually.’ Paulie fires back, clearly not one to be intimated.
Sensing that the table could be turned over at any second, I take Oliver by the hand and mentally plead with him to stay calm. Then again, I don’t really know how calm I would be right now. I had a meltdown at discovering my mother had a tattoo, never mind a bloody toy boy.
‘I understand you’re upset...’ Janie starts to talk, but is quickly cut off by Oliver.
‘Upset?’ He growls. ‘I’m not upset, I’m pissed.’
‘Look, I’m gonna be the bigger person here and remove myself from this situation.’ Paulie’s voice is steely and steady as his eyes burn into Oliver’s.
Adjusting his bandana, he plants a lingering kiss on Janie’s puckered lips before striding cockily out of the restaurant. I hadn’t noticed before now, but he is absolutely massive. Stood up straight, he has a good couple of inches on Oliver. At 6’2” very rarely does anyone match Oliver in height, let alone beat him.
Thanking the waiter who places a jug of table water down in front of us, I hand Noah his dinosaur to keep him quiet and fiddle with the edge of the table cloth. I think it’s safe to say that this might just go down as one of the worst holidays on record. Looking between them, I hold my breath as I wait to see who is going to crack first.
‘This is sick.’ Oliver snarls. ‘I don’t know who’s worse, you or him.’
Sensing that this is only going to get worse, I take Noah’s pram and wander over to the buffet. I want to call Lianna, only she would understand Janie’s unbelievable actions. Checking my watch, I realise that she will still be in bed and make a mental note to call her later. Even though Barbados and Orlando are in the same time zone, Lianna works at The Hangout until the early hours and refuses to leave her pit until at least noon. It’s times like this when I really regret having a sloth for a best friend.
‘What do you want?’ I ask Noah, who is eyeing up the bread stall and attempting to make a grab for a crusty roll.
‘Alright, just wait one minute.’ Taking a plate from the stack, I load it up with a selection of breads, spreads and cheeses.
At least Noah can make the most of the buffet, my stomach is doing bloody cartwheels. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch Janie and Oliver talking animatedly at each other across the table. Not wanting to get caught in the middle of a slanging match, I hover around the bread station until it looks like things have calmed down. Cautiously making my way back over, I pull across a high chair and buckle in Noah. The table is now eerily quiet and I don’t want to break the silence for fear of starting yet another disagreement.
Tearing up a mound of bread for Noah, I pour some water into his plastic beaker and watch him munch away happily. A waiter stops by our table with his pen poised above his notepad and I look up at him dubiously.
‘I’m not sure that we’re ordering…’
‘We are.’ Oliver flips open his menu with a bang and orders pancakes with bacon.
‘Oh, in that case I’ll take the smoked salmon and two poached eggs.’ I flash a smile at the waiter and will my stomach to settle down.
‘Two?’ Janie teases, snatching the menu from me and squinting at the text. ‘Avocado salad, no cheese.’
The waiter nods politely before buzzing off across the room, a huge smile plastered across his face.
‘Is everything OK now?’ I ask, glancing at Oliver out of the corner of my eye.
‘No, everything is far from OK, but we are here for Noah. He doesn’t deserve to have his vacation ruined because of her stupidity.’
I watch a scowl spread across Janie’s face and kick her under the table. Doesn’t she ever know when she’s making progress? Paulie still has his teeth and we are actually going to eat breakfast together. Neither of those things seemed possible just ten short minutes ago.
‘Gee-Gee!’ Noah squeals suddenly, force feeding Janie a handful of chewed up bread.
‘Jeez, you little gremlin!’ Wiping her hands on the tablecloth, she shoots Noah a look of disgust and I can’t help but laugh.
He really does choose his moments! Handing her a wet wipe from my handbag, I sneak a peek at Oliver and I’m relieved to see that he’s smiling too. Sort of.
‘Can we please put all of this behind us and start enjoying Noah’s birthday present again?’ I say this hopefully, although I am prepared to get a barrage of abuse in response.
‘I’m not saying another word about it until I have spoken to my dad.’ Keeping his poker face intact, Oliver drops his phone on the table and I can’t help but notice he has called Randy almost two hundred times. ‘And Polly…’
‘Paulie!’ Janie corrects, whilst feeding Noah pieces of cheese with the very tips of her fingers.
‘Whatever his name is!’ He fires back, glaring at his mother with a look that could kill. ‘He better stay the hell out of my way…’
‘I think that’s pretty fair.’ Accepting a refill on my water, I give Oliver’s hand a quick squeeze. �
��Don’t you, Janie?’
Shrugging her shoulders, she lets out a yawn and checks out her manicure. God, she is infuriating. Why can’t she ever sense when it’s time to drop the ice maiden act and actually be gracious for once?
‘Alright, who had the avocado salad?’ Holding out plates of yummy food, the waiter flashes us a megawatt smile and proceeds to dish out the goods.
My mouth starts to water as I scan the plates with greedy eyes. Not being able to resist waiting for the others, I pick up my fork and dive in. It seems my cartwheels soon stopped at the smell of freshly cooked grub. This might be the last time the three of us can sit together civilly for the rest of the holiday, so I am going to make sure I enjoy each and every second.
Chewing away at my breakfast, I almost don’t notice that Janie and Oliver have started up a conversation, albeit through Noah.
‘Where do you wanna go today?’ Pushing her salad around her plate, she drapes her legs across the now empty seat next to her.
‘I-Drive.’ Oliver grunts, reaching into his pocket and dropping a pamphlet on the table.
‘You hear that, Noah?’ Janie widens her eyes and tickles Noah under the chin. ‘I-Drive! You guys have got a fun filled day ahead.’
‘Don’t you mean we?’ I correct, diving into an egg and watching the gooey goodness escape the skin.
Not responding to my question, she twists a strand of hair around her finger and not so discreetly glances at her watch.
‘You are coming with us, aren’t you?’ I hold my breath and wait for her to answer.
‘Well, I thought I might spend the day with…’
Oliver drops his fork with a clatter, causing people to look up from their seats. ‘Right. I think we’re done here.’
‘But… but I haven’t finished my breakfast!’ I look down at my half eaten meal with dismay.
‘I said we’re done!’ His voice is so thunderous that I don’t dare disagree.
Scrambling the last piece of bread into my mouth, I reach under the table for my handbag and quickly unbuckle Noah. Just when I thought we had made a break through. Throwing notes onto the table, he grabs Noah’s pram and storms out of the restaurant. This flouncing off is becoming quite a habit.
