Jam Sandwiches

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Jam Sandwiches Page 23

by Greg Fowler


  Instead he had to sit there and hold it all inside. That made him feel like a drinking glass. A glass can only hold so much water and right now he could feel it beginning to spill over the sides.

  64. EDDY’S TURN

  The examination dates were getting crazy close and that had Eddy worried. Exams were a complete unknown to him. He hadn’t even been in a classroom before let alone been placed under the pressure cooker atmosphere of an examination situation. So he was very pleased to learn that his exams would be held in the very familiar surroundings of his own bedroom. Mrs Stanton would be his observer and she’d sit in the room from start to finish.

  The trouble was it was just so hard to concentrate at the moment. Reagan was so, so close and yet so far away. Time and time again he’d read a paragraph and then at the end of it realise he had no idea of what he’d just read. He needed her. She’d been his first real friend but at the same time it was so much more than that. She’d been his umbilical cord to the big, wide world beyond his bedroom. She’d turned something that terrified him into something sane and magical. She’d helped him find himself. That was the biggest thing. If Reagan Crowe had never happened, he’d still be that Stupid Boy, that Pissy Pants kid that everyone laughed at and he loved her for that. He loved her so bad, bad enough to know how Mrs Elsdon felt without her Ben. It hurt in the day and it hurt in the night, put simply, there was no escape.

  This particular Friday night had been like any other these past couple of months. Reagan hadn’t walked home, she’d run. That way she had more time to get ready for Ryan before he cruised by to pick her up when he finished work. Eddy knew that car from about four blocks away now. The rumbling engine reminded him of a modern day dragon, coming to whisk away his fair maiden to a far off place where even the bravest knights struggled to find her. But worse than that, this particular fair maiden actually wanted to go. She’d tried to give her knight a gift and he’d turned his back on her, he’d spurned her and now she was gone.

  When Reagan had bounced out her front door and into Ryan’s car, Eddy hadn’t even tried to hide in the shadows of his room. It was a wasted effort. It’d been weeks since she’d checked to see if he was there. She didn’t need to prove anything now, she was doing this for herself. The car had pulled away with its belting roar and Reagan was once again swallowed by the dragon.

  Her curfew was 11pm so, having some time up his sleeve and with nothing else left to do, Eddy hit the books. Grandma Daisy had come up at one point and tried to talk him into coming down and watching some TV with her. She’d do documentaries if that’s what he wanted but in the end he’d declined her kind offer. With a couple of weeks to go to the exams he had to squeeze in every piece of knowledge he could. It sounded like a good excuse anyway. At best he had half an eye on the science text book, the rest of him was beyond the window, imagining her laughter, her sparkling eyes, that cheeky smile.

  Why didn’t I just take that necklace and be done with it!

  It was about 10.45pm when Eddy heard the familiar rumble weave through the neighbourhood. The closer it got the meaner it sounded until it came spitting and spurting right up in front of his place. Not Reagan’s house; his.

  What’s going on here?

  The engine cut out and then nothing. Eddy kept out of clear sight this time, it was more instinct than anything else, besides, being ‘nosy’ was rude. That didn’t prevent him from keeping a watchful eye on that car though. Parking one’s car a few extra metres down the street by itself was no big deal, but there was something about it, something contrived that he didn’t like.

  It was so automatic that Eddy wasn’t even conscious of the fact he’d done it, but he reached across with his left arm and placed his hand on Mr Tree’s most adventurous of twigs. The tree had extended that far now, to the point where he could reach out and touch it while he was still standing by the front window. That meant a fair two thirds of the room was adorned. All that was left was the space around the front window and the return journey, half way along a wall, back to the side window. Once that was done, Eddy would truly be within the deepest embrace of this most incredible wonder of nature.

  For now though, he had other things on his mind.

  Red. Fast heart beats. Anticipation.

  Neither driver nor passenger door had so much as budged.

  Another four or five minutes passed by, and still nothing. Nothing except the fact those tinted windows were beginning to steam up.

  He’s kissing her.

  Be careful Reagan.

  She’s kissing him back. It’s a different kiss than the one in the tree. Real different. But she’s changing. Red to purple. Red to purple.

  Eddy’s mind clamoured. What could that mean? Red to purple? It didn’t make sense.

  She’s worried Eddy. She’s beginning to get scared. She’s not ready for what he wants. He’s not her ‘tomorrow’ man. He’s way too much ‘yesterday’.

  Eddy’s whole body itched with a clinging desperation to do something. Exactly what, he had no idea. He felt like he was walking on a tightrope. His senses told him something was amiss, that Reagan was walking further and further away from her comfort zone. But what could he possibly do about it.

  She’s saying ‘no’. She wants him to stop doing that. She’s thinking that maybe she wants to get out now.

  Just get out then Reagan. Just get out!

  The car doors stayed exactly where they were; locked tight.

  ‘Com’on Reagan. You know you want this.’

  The blood in Eddy’s veins seemed to be conducting electricity and it was getting to the stage where he could no longer stand still. The energy was buzzing inside like the hum of megavolts travelling through high tension wires.

  ‘No Ryan…please. Another time…pleeease.’

  ‘Don’t be a bitch.’

  Eddy didn’t hear Ryan’s voice in his ears, he heard it instead in his head and he didn’t like the tone one bit. Ryan was getting angry, he was getting frustrated and this man had a boiling point.

  ‘Pleeeease…it’s hurting me!’

  Just as with Ryan’s vicious voice, Eddy didn’t hear the slap, he felt it. Not across his cheek, he wouldn’t wear the mark like Reagan would for the next three days, but it stung just as much. It stung him in a place so deep that it rocked him, nearly taking his feet out from under him. It also stung him one other way, it stung him into action.

  Help me!

  The flight down the stairs was a blur, lost in the cascade of fears, thoughts and emotions that whirlpooled around inside him. He pulled the front door open so fast that for once it didn’t have time to squeak, instead sounding out a short, high pitched shrill.

  ‘Get away from me.’ It wasn’t in his head that time. No. This time he heard Reagan’s pleas for real.

  Crossing the front lawn in record time, Eddy didn’t go for the passenger door, he knew that would be locked and not of Reagan’s doing either. He catapulted around the front of the car and, without a second thought for the consequences, ripped open the driver’s door with the strength that only blind fury can afford.

  And there, lying heavily on top of his precious Reagan, was the man in question. But there was no question, because the answer was obvious. Reagan seemed so tiny, so helpless beneath him and when the door flung open hard enough to dent the front panel, she peered out at Eddy with an alarming combination of surprise and fear. Her face was patchy with the heat inside the car and her obvious struggles to free herself. Her eyes carried only one, very clear, very panicked message…’Get me out of here’.

  ‘Leave her alone!’ The words came from a reservoir Eddy didn’t know he had and when Ryan turned to confront whoever had the audacity to ruin his fun, he had a shock waiting for him. Before he could so much as register this strange, mental case of a kid, Eddy had his hands wrapped around the waistband of his jeans and was yanking him out of the car with undeniable force. ‘I…said…leave…her….alone.’ Each word seemed to add another gear and by the
last one Eddy had Ryan completely out of the car.

  ‘Hey,’ yelled Ryan, as Eddy flung him aside. ‘What the hell.’

  Eddy didn’t have time for him right now, his entire focus was on Reagan. Leaning back in the driver’s door he found her quickly pulling herself together. Ryan had pretty much had her top off, but from the way it was tugged and stretched it didn’t look like it was a consensual thing. Her cheek was already coming up something wicked, and dark, brutal stripes of mascara were running down both sides of her face.

  ‘Here,’ he said, reaching in toward her. ‘T…take my hand.’

  Instead of taking his offer though, she just stared wide eyed and unbelieving at him. It was all too much for her and the shock of it all had her frozen to the spot.

  ‘Reagan…’ Before Eddy could get the rest of the sentence out he was grabbed from behind by the scruff of his collar and tossed to the unforgiving asphalt of the street. He’d be nursing a couple of nasty grazes by tomorrow morning but in the heat of the moment he didn’t feel a thing.

  ‘Look what you’ve done to my car you little shit.’ Ryan was standing above him, looking about ten foot tall and ready to rip the guts out of the very next thing that moved.

  Eddy scrambled backwards, knowing that if he stayed within Ryan’s range he was bound to wear something much worse than a scrape or two. There was danger in that man’s eyes, the sort that sent some people to prison and the others to God. For a second Eddy was certain he was a goner. He’d really put a good dent in the side of that car. A car that Eddy just knew Ryan liked way more than Reagan. One, two, three steps…yep, Ryan was coming his way. Eddy tried to get to his feet and slipped.

  Then Ryan stopped.

  Get out of the car Reagan. Run!

  Eddy could see the guy was measuring his options. The Stupid Boy or the Girl.

  He’s gonna go back for her.

  And he did too. Ryan turned his back on him and strode back to the car with all the grace of a serial killer. He’d ordered dessert tonight and be damned if he wasn’t going to have it.

  Not tonight you bastard, not while I live and breathe you won’t.

  Eddy didn’t remember much of the next few minutes and that was probably a good thing. To have memories of those things that reduce you can be a haunting experience. He didn’t remember getting to his feet. He didn’t remember moving so fast that when Grandma Daisy first looked out the front door she thought he was flying. He certainly didn’t recall that moment he wrenched Ryan once more back from that rabid red car, and all memory was lost of that punch. It was tomorrow’s punch on yesterday’s man and it connected like a brick. In an otherwise peaceful street, the whack echoed all the way to the empty lot at the end of the cul de sac and back. Ryan hadn’t seen it coming, he was too hungry for other things. His knees buckled from under him and he fell where he stood.

  ‘Eddy, what are you doing!’ If that had been Grandma Daisy or even Mrs Crowe he would’ve understood, but it was Reagan. She’d managed to get out of the passenger side in the end, that expression of shock still parked across her face. Things seemed to be going from the sublime to the ridiculous. Rounding only half way around the bonnet she saw Ryan there on the road, slowly regaining consciousness and rubbing the side of his aching head. But she would go no closer, and as far as Eddy was concerned that was a good thing.

  ‘Go inside Reagan,’ instructed Eddy but still she just stared at him, locked in time and space. ‘This man is not a good man and he hurts you. Go inside.’

  Even then it was possible she wasn’t going to move. That was bound to make life really awkward under the circumstances. Ryan was finding his bearings fast and he wasn’t the sort to fall for the same trick twice.

  GO! Get out of here!

  ‘Reagan, is that you? What’s going on?’ It was Mrs Crowe. She was making her way across her front lawn, all wrapped up in a dressing gown. It was the call of a mother to a broken daughter and finally Reagan burst free from her delirium. She looked back at her approaching mum and it all came caving in. Affording Eddy just one more worn and weary glance she raced to her only place of refuge, straight into her loving mother’s arms.

  That was just fine by Eddy, she was safe there.

  Now it was his turn to do the standing over. Ryan was sitting up now, trying hard to shake the reality of the situation back into his fuzzy head.

  ‘I think y… you should get in your car and never, ever come back.’

  ‘Piss off retard.’ The guy was looking to get up now but from the way he struggled to find his balance, Eddy felt that he still had the upper hand. At least for a little while.

  Leaning in, nice and close so nobody else could hear but not so close that he was within striking range, Eddy mustered his most authoritative voice. He didn’t have to try all that hard either because he was angry, angry but in control.

  ‘Leave now or I’ll call the police. I’m sure Reagan will have a g…good story for them. And don’t come here again. Not once, not ever.’

  Ryan was more than ready to get up now. If Eddy was angry, he was suicidal with rage. As the man who had an easy twenty, maybe even thirty kilo’s on him sought to find his feet, Eddy moved in and pushed him. Not hard, just enough to topple his balance and back to the road Ryan went.

  ‘I know you know where I live,’ continued Eddy, looking briefly up at his front window and noting that Ryan did the same. ‘It’s a great spot. A retard with a rifle could do a lot of damage from up there.’

  ‘Eddy, is everything okay?’ Grandma Daisy was now on the front lawn, phone in one hand and, to Eddy’s surprise, a baseball bat in the other.

  ‘Yep, Grandma Daisy,’ he responded in quick order. No need to have her come over here right now. ‘We’re just f…finishing up… aren’t we?’

  Ryan was gauging Eddy real close.

  He’s not used to people like me. He thinks we’re all circus freaks and nobody likes to be too close to a circus freak. It might rub off.

  And if anyone was going to actually shoot you from the front window of a friendly neighbourhood house, a circus freak was as good a bet as any.

  Eddy saw Ryan surrender even before Ryan knew it himself. It was all in the body language. Those taut, sinewy muscles relaxed and his eyes dropped away. The white flag was up and all he wanted to do was be gone from this hellhole of a place.

  Eddy took a step backwards. Not a retreat, no, definitely not a retreat. If he’d read Ryan wrong and push really came to shove, then he’d do what he had to do. He’d probably get his head well and truly punched in the process, but nobody, absolutely nobody hurt Reagan like that and got away with it.

  He needn’t have worried though. When Ryan finally got to his feet he was as wobbly as Mr Crowe used to get on a Sunday afternoon and it was plain to see he had no fight left in him. His humiliation was complete and Eddy realised that was Ryan’s greatest punishment. He wouldn’t bother Reagan again. Not after this. Not after being shown the door by a retard.

  Staggering over to his car, Reagan’s ex boyfriend pulled the car door closed as he collapsed into the driver’s seat. It wouldn’t close all the way and for a split second Eddy felt sorry for him. It was true, it would be many years before Ryan found a woman he loved more than his precious red car and his pride and joy was injured.

  With a spit and a roar, the engine burst into life and Eddy glanced through a plume of oily, blue exhaust to see Reagan still in the warm, inviting arms of her mother. She wasn’t going to watch Ryan leave, in her mind he was gone already.

  Then, with the scream of rubber and a fishtail or two, that flash red car said good bye to Willow Avenue. Eddy watched it swing wide around the corner and for a little while just listened to the timbre of the motor as it faded into the distance.

  ‘Are you alright Eddy?’ Grandma Daisy was on the road beside him now, her hand supportively on his shoulder.

  ‘Grandma,’ he said, looking her in the eye. ‘I think I almost wet my pants.’

  65. MRS CROW
E ANSWERS

  Eddy waved out to the McKenzie family as they drove past on their way to church. He, however, was on a different mission.

  Since he’d sent Ryan packing the night before, he’d been watching and waiting for some sort of reaction from Reagan. It had all been in vain though because once that car had ploughed down the street and out of her life she’d turned tail too and run inside. The last he’d seen of her was her forlorn and fallen shoulders as she disappeared through her front door, followed closely behind by her mother.

  If the necklace stalemate these past months had been hard, the few hours since last night had been torturous. Eddy had lain awake all night long, wondering if she was alright and what was going through her mind. It frustrated him immensely that he couldn’t reach for her, spiritually and physically. Had he done the right thing? He thought so, but as the dawn had peeked into the new day, he began to question himself. Ryan had hurt her, and it wasn’t much of a stretch of the imagination to believe he hadn’t finished either. And if he could do it once, he’d do it again.

  But girls were such complicated creatures. It seemed to Eddy that sometimes they actually liked to be hurt. Not smacked around the face of course, it was more about being treated bad and Eddy just didn’t get it. And, if normal girls were complicated, Reagan was a labyrinth of infinite impossibilities. He could spend his entire life trying to make sense of her, only to find out he’d ended up where he’d started.

  So what did that mean? Was she still angry at him? Was she even more angry now? Maybe she was just embarrassed or still too sore to make contact with him just yet.

  He’d debriefed Grandma Daisy with the full story once they’d got back inside and she seemed to think he’d been somewhere between brave and foolish. She leaned on the side of brave for Eddy’s sake but that probably had a lot to do with the fact he wasn’t the one wearing a tender head today. If Ryan had been a bit more prepared…well, it could have been a very different tale to tell.

 

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