"We don't have long before we're back in England, and we'll have to tell him."
"I know," he replies. "Not looking forward to that, I have to say."
"You know what we'll say yet?" Because I bloody don't.
Kitt and I have been making sure we're seen together a lot more, but so far, Dad hasn't pulled me up on it. So, that means, he's not noticed us growing closer. There's a fine line between him suspecting our feelings toward each other are changing and him guessing exactly how close we are.
We have to push a little bit harder. But how hard?
Answers on a postcard...
Kitt gives my hand a squeeze. "Now, that I might plan--well, my escape route at least."
"He's a pussycat really."
"Yeah...Tex, when it comes to you, he's a fucking lion."
"You could try not hurting me." Please.
"I don't intend to."
I'm not sure if he wants to add a silent, But things happen, in there or not, so I try not to dwell on it.
"Mini golf," he says.
"What?"
He lifts his chin toward a mini golf course, and it all makes sense.
"Er, sure."
In all honesty, that sounds bloody awful, but what we do doesn't matter. It's nice to be alone and do normal date stuff. Hopefully, no one will recognise us while we're here. We're banking on not because of the big sunglasses, but it's still a risk. He does look different in a long-sleeved shirt. He never wears them, but this way, his ink is covered.
We walk through the entrance and head to the ticket booth.
"Two, please," Kitt says, pulling some money out of his wallet.
The girl behind the plastic screen doesn't bat an eyelid. She takes his money and tells us where to get our clubs and where to go. I breathe a little easier, knowing how clueless she is.
"Have you played before?" I ask.
He smirks. "My grandad used to take me when I was a kid."
"Great. I'm going to lose."
"Now, that is not the attitude to have, Knight."
I turn and lift my eyebrow, having an idea. "You're right. I'm definitely going to win this."
"Why? What are you planning?" His voice is laced with suspicion.
"Nothing." Smiling sweetly, I grab a golf club and walk outside.
Kitt follows and walks beside me with his eyes firmly fixed on my face, as if he's trying to draw the truth out of me.
Not happening, buddy.
"Texas..."
I look up. "Yes? Can I go first?"
"Sure..."
"I don't know what I'm doing though. Can you help?" I make sure my voice is low and sweet, like a fucking damsel in distress. But I'm not. This is war--yes, over mini golf--and I don't intend on losing.
Kitt's midnight-blue eyes are trained on mine. "I can help."
He knows I'm playing, but he still puts his club down and comes over. The minute his chest presses against my back, I close my eyes. He takes a sharp intake of air and wraps his arm around my waist. His other hand starts on my shoulder and slowly caresses its way down until it covers mine. I feel goose bumps pebble under my skin at the contact.
Bugger, I'm supposed to win this.
Clearing my head from thoughts of having him take me back to the hotel, I say, "What do I do then?" Somehow, I manage to keep my voice steady.
His lips graze my ear with the gentlest touch. "Hold the club with two hands, here and here." He places my other hand in position. "Then, swing back, and try to hit the ball."
I slowly swing the club back, arching my back so that my butt presses into his groin. He groans, and his fingertips dig into my waist. It's working. I look at him over my shoulder and smile. As I swing the club forward and strike the ball, I push back a little harder. Kitt's short nails nip at my skin.
The ball rolls along the green felt and through the creepy clown's head.
"Yay! That wasn't too bad. Your turn, Kitt."
I step away from him, and he takes a quick worried glance around before adjusting himself.
I have this in the bag.
Gritting his teeth, he places his ball down and whacks it in frustration. It slams against the clown's cheek and rolls back.
I stretch my arms out and lean against my stick. Tilting my head, I say, "Oops. Want another turn before I hit mine home?"
He steps closer and glares. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing, Texas."
"We both know exactly what I'm doing, and we both know I'm going to be victorious."
"Fucking woman," he grunts under his breath as I walk around to find my ball.
I'm really enjoying myself, mostly because I'm driving Kitt wild, but then in the space of five minutes, three people come over for photos and autographs.
Kitt puts his arm around a girl. In turn, she thinks she's gotten the green light to feel my boyfriend up. She places her hand on his chest and smiles for the camera--the camera being her phone that I'm so very close to lobbing at her head. I click the button twice and hand it back to her.
"Thank you so much, Kitt! I love all of your songs! You're amazing!"
And thank you, Texas, for taking the photo...
No? Fine.
"Thank you. It's always great to meet a fan," he says.
I stand at the side and watch with a smile. This is a part of who he is, and although I might not like it, I have to be okay with it. He's not going to sleep with her or anyone else, so I let her have her two minutes.
Kitt finally says bye to her, and then his attention is back on me. It's always back on me, and that's what matters. He soothes that tiny jealous part of my soul with one look. It's me he wants.
"I don't want to leave yet, Tex, but..."
"I know. We can't play if you keep getting stopped. Let's go back to the hotel. I'm sure we can find something there to keep us occupied."
He steps closer and leans in. My eyes widen as I think he's going to kiss me. We're being watched now.
"I think you owe me for your behaviour today," he says.
I laugh. "My behaviour? I think I've been very nice."
"You know what you did. Do you have any idea how hard it is to hide a boner in public?"
Playfully shoving his chest, I giggle. "Come on, big boy, let's get out of here."
He slings his arm over my shoulders. "If you think I'm ever going to forget you calling me big boy, you're mistaken."
"Hmm, maybe I was joking though."
"Not in my head."
Kitt grips the steering wheel as we head back to the hotel. Ted is in another rental car behind us. He kept his distance, and I don't remember seeing him once, but that was probably due to the fact that I was lost in Kitt.
His hand rests on my leg, like it usually does when we're alone. "So, when did you start to drool over me?" he asks, smirking.
He knows it's been longer than since Christmas, but we've not had this conversation before in depth--for obvious reasons. Kitt does not need his ego inflating any more.
"Truth, sweetheart, yeah?"
Rolling my eyes, I twist my body to face him. I don't want to lie because we're supposed to be honest with each other. I'm not great at the touchy-feely stuff though, never have been. I was raised by my dad and the other two male members of his band. I was always encouraged to talk about what I was feeling, but they rarely did it, so I just followed suit.
"Fine. I've liked you for a while now. More than a while actually."
He frowns and suddenly looks very nervous, which is ridiculous since I'm the one who's pouring my heart out.
"How long is more than a while? How long before Christmas?"
"Um...two years."
"Two years?" he blurts out, his mouth open. He equally looks at me and the road, constantly turning his head.
"We can have this conversation while you watch where we're going."
He cuts me a look before turning forward. "Two years, Tex?"
"Yeah, well, you look like that, and we've always gotten along really well."
"We have. Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
I laugh at that because, no, it's not like I would have told him. "Oh, come on! You're young and in a band. When we met, it was the early days for Filthy Sound, and you were living it up to the fullest. And by that, I mean, you were sleeping with everything with a pulse. You weren't ready to be in a relationship. It would have ended badly."
He swallows, and I can tell he wants to deny it, but he can't. Kitt doesn't want to admit that he didn't want me back then, but it's okay. I'm fine with it. Besides, he does now.
"It could have worked," he says.
"You don't even believe the words that just came out of your mouth. It's fine. Really. It didn't hurt that much."
"That much?" He slams on the brakes, like a fucking lunatic, and swings the car into a lay-by.
Ted pulls in behind us, but he must sense our safety isn't the reason Kitt stopped because he doesn't get out.
"Kitt!" I shout, grabbing the dashboard. "What's wrong with you?"
"Did I hurt you?"
I shrug. "It wasn't intentional. Forget I said anything."
"I can't forget it. Talk to me."
"It doesn't matter anymore. We're together."
"Texas!"
"What? There's no point in dragging this up. I'm happy with you."
"Tell. Me," he growls, fisting the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turn white.
"Ugh! All right, yeah, it hurt. It hurt so fucking much every time I saw you with another woman that I wanted to die. The week before the tour was especially hard because it was the first time I saw you ready to shag someone else while I was in love with you. You didn't even see me that night, Kitt, but I was there. I left very quickly after I saw you with her. Every time, I told myself that I was okay, but I never was. Watching you kiss someone else, knowing she was soon going to know what it felt like to have you inside her, when I wanted you so badly, I felt like I was going to explode. There. Are you happy? Is that what you needed to hear?"
We're both breathing hard, and he's staring at me in horror.
Maybe that was a little too honest.
I see tears in his eyes, and I instantly regret what I said.
A simple, Yes, sometimes, it hurt, would've worked too.
I take a breath. Calm yourself down. Now. "Kitt, I'm sorry."
"No. You're not the one who should be sorry." He sounds breathless, in a painful way.
"Neither are you. You didn't know how I felt. You couldn't have known. If you're unaware, you can't be responsible."
"I'm so sorry I hurt you."
I groan and cover my face. "That's not why I told you." At this moment, I don't really know why I did.
"I know it isn't, but I hate that I've caused you pain."
"You didn't know. Things are good, and you make me so happy. Please, can we forget it?"
"I swear, I will never hurt you again."
"That's not a promise you should be making. We don't know the future."
"Not true. I'm looking at mine," he whispers.
Oh, sweet Jesus. That does things to me that makes me feel like I've suddenly defied gravity.
Letting go of the steering wheel, he leans over and presses his forehead to mine. "You love me. You said you're in love with me."
Yeah, great, I blurted that out as well. "I know I did."
Well done, you.
I'm such a fucking genius.
"Tell me again," he murmurs.
"Why? I've told you once, and you've not said it ever."
I have a moment of pure fear rush through my body. What if he didn't plan on saying it because he doesn't feel it yet? I want to hear those words from him more than I want anything but not if he doesn't mean it. I don't want those three little words to be whispered out of pity.
He smiles, and his thumb brushes over my jaw. "Texas, I love you. Of course I do. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another person. I love you so much that it terrifies me."
My throat feels thick.
"Kitt, I love you." It's all I can manage to choke out.
"I'm going to kiss my girl now," he says, wiping a tear from my cheek.
"Okay," I whisper just before his lips land on mine.
He kisses me slow and deep, and it's filled with love and adoration.
TEXAS
THURSDAY, MAY 21
BRINDISI, ITALY
We pull out of the docks, and we're in Italy. The drive to Rome is going to take over five hours, so we've stocked the bus up, and we're ready for the journey. I'm tired, but that's touring. There have been so many late nights and early mornings, which I know will catch up with me eventually. I hope it doesn't until we're in England. When we're home, I'll sleep solidly for a day, I'm sure.
Kitt is opposite me at the table, and there's so much sexual tension that I can feel it vibrating off us both. Dad is up front with the drivers. Will and Jimmy are sleeping off hangovers. That leaves me alone with Kitt, Cooper, and Milo. Usually, that's fine, but right now, I'm tense and frustrated.
"All right," Cooper snaps, looking between me and Kitt, "what the fuck is really going on with you two?"
"What do you mean?"
"Come off it, Tex. I can feel it."
"You're delusional, mate," Kitt says, cracking open a beer. A beer at eleven in the morning.
"Am I? Fuck! Seriously, the sexual tension between you two is kinda turning me on. It's more than a one time thing."
I deadpan. "Coop, roadkill turns you on."
Milo and Kitt laugh.
"She's got a point, man. I think you just need to get laid. You're imagining things," Kitt adds.
"You haven't had it in two days," Milo says. "Do a girl tonight, and you'll stop seeing everyone else getting it on."
Cooper narrows his pretty baby blues, and I know he doesn't believe us. He knows Kitt and I have been intimate but he thinks just one night. As caught up as he is in getting the full rock-star experience, he notices much more than we give him credit for.
"You're right about the woman thing. But I'm right about those two," he says to Milo. "They need to shag for a week and get it properly over with because every time I look at them, I get a hard-on."
Kitt turns his nose up and slams his bottle down. "You did not just say that."
Cooper rolls his eyes and smirks. "Calm down. I don't want to bend you over, buddy."
"Can we please drop it before my dad hears?" I snap.
Understanding crosses Cooper's face, and he winks. "Got it. Your secret shagging stays with me."
Kitt growls. "We are not shagging."
Milo punches Cooper in the chest with the back of his hand. "Drop it, Coop. They said nothing is going on."
I don't know if Milo is aware of what's happening or not, but I suspect he is. I've seen him and Kitt talking privately. If there's one person Kitt can confide in, it is Milo.
"Fine," Cooper growls, annoyed that we all shot him down. "I need a beer. Anyone else want one?"
"No, thanks. It's not even afternoon yet," I say, eyeing Kitt's second beer.
He shrugs and takes a long gulp. I watch him drink, watch his Adam's apple as he swallows.
How does he make drinking erotic?
I take a deep breath as my hormones step into overdrive. Turn away, Texas. You're making it obvious.
If Cooper looks back now, his suspicions will be confirmed, but still, I can't stop staring. What I feel for Kitt is strong. The pull I feel toward him is getting harder to ignore or fight. I want more than a hidden relationship. I want Dad to know now, so Kitt and I can be together properly.
Sighing, I look away just in time. Cooper throws the bottle top in the bin and joins us at the table.
"So, what have you guys been working on?" I ask, steering the conversation to a safe territory.
"Kitt's got a few new things," Milo says. "They're a bit sappy though."
"Fuck off, dickhead. We agreed we need some--"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Milo says, c
utting him off. "I didn't say they weren't epic."
"Wait, why do you need romance-y songs?" I ask, my heart somersaulting in my chest.
They have a couple of songs like that, but ninety-nine percent are not. They have about a million songs that are either funny, silly, racy, and catchy but only two love songs. One of them is a firm wedding favourite. Both were written by Milo.
"We've got to grow, Tex," Kitt says in a tone, letting me know he's borrowed Milo's words.
"Can I see?"
Kitt frowns, and his eyes flick to his sacred notepad that no one is allowed to touch. "It's not ready."
"So? That's not stopped you before."
"Well, it's stopping me now. I'm new to this love-song shit, okay? Milo is forcing me to think outside the box, so until I'm happy with them, no one but Romeo gets to see."
"If you're forcing it, man, it won't be good. Leave the love to Cupid over there, if you're not comfortable," Cooper says, tilting his head at Milo.
"I'm fine."
"Embracing your inner Cupid?" I say, smirking.
Kitt glares and swigs his beer, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. So, naturally, we stay on it.
"I wonder whom his muse could be..." Cooper says.
"Your mum," Kitt growls.
Milo laughs. "You've gotta appreciate a your-mum comeback every now and again."
"Fuck you, man. You ain't ever getting in my mum's bed."
"True," Kitt says. "She prefers it over the table."
Even though the thought makes my stomach churn, I laugh.
"You're a prick," Cooper barks.
"My mother probably would let you all take her over the table," I say, turning my nose up.
"Wait, we're allowed to do your mum?" Cooper asks. "I always thought she was a no-go zone."
Glaring, I reply, "She is. I'm just saying, she wouldn't say no." Hell, she would probably film it and leak it all over the Internet in a desperate bid for more fame and more attention.
Cooper sinks back into the seat and frowns in disappointment.
Well, tough. "Can we not talk about people doing my mother?"
"You started it," Cooper grumbles.
"Now, I'm finishing it."
The guys come through to join us for a drink, and Milo starts up a game of poker. Dad, Jimmy, and Will bundle in on the opposite side of the table. I just watch. I don't have the energy to focus on playing right now, so I get up to make a huge mug of coffee.
Dad follows me over to the minuscule kitchen and hands me his phone. "I didn't know you and Kitt went out."
My heart falls to my toes.
Stay calm. This is all a part of your plan.
The plan seemed like a much better idea when Dad wasn't questioning me though.
With the Band Page 20
