There’s no logical explanation behind what I’m feeling. I don’t know this girl. I’ve never met her before, so it makes no sense that she would hold this kind of power over me. More than that, there’s always that distinct sweet scent in the air wherever she goes, like there’s always at least one angel watching over her. I don’t give a damn about one or two angels. That’s not what has my logician worried. What worries my logician above everything else, is the fact that the angels seem to be dangling her like bait in front of me. They know what she does to me. One or two angels would likely be more than enough to take me out if she trapped me.
The constant dissonance inside of me leaves me confused. If my logician wasn’t fighting so fiercely against my beast, I would have already given in to my instincts by now. I don’t know how much longer I can take this before I tear myself to shreds. It’s a constant dance inside of my chest. To go. To stay. And it doesn’t change. It’s a cycle. Over and over. The only thing I can think about. The only thing that is, even though it’s an old song. And I just keep repeating. Repeating. Repeating.
Repeating.
A large group of hunters leave the base together tonight, chattering on about some amazing dinner they just partook of. It seems even hunters have time to celebrate Thanksgiving. They’re unusually happy, feeling the high and lightness of celebration, sharing in their camaraderie.
Then I see her: the girl. The look on her face is radiant. Her plush pink lips are turned upwards into a reserved smile that feels… somehow familiar despite the fact I’ve never seen these lips or this face before my time in Reverie. My beast stirs with excitement, hungering for nothing more than that smile.
Then I see the one behind her, the boy with golden hair. His light is strong, but nothing compared to the real thing. He’s been to the base many times in the past week since I’ve started watching this building. At first, I thought he must have been assigned to Tasia, to watch over her, but now I’m not entirely sure. He’s a made angel, but it wouldn’t be surprising if angels are recruiting humans now to substitute for their lack of numbers. However, his actions are… unusual.
My hackles rise when I see my girl fall into step beside him, chatting away merrily about something, a gleam of admiration in her eyes as he listens and speaks his reply. My beast is slamming against my ribcage. My logician tries to fight back, but I’m too far gone. I’m going to rip out that puny mortal’s throat.
I can feel my body changing as my beast fights to take over.
“Are you finally going to do it?”
I jolt at the sound behind me. Yuki’s voice. It’s Yuki. I suck in a deep breath of air and check myself. My logician is back in control. My physical appearance hasn’t changed. Good. I almost fucked myself over with that stunt. Even the hunters, worthless mortals that they are, would have sensed my presence if I had gone through with my beast’s desires. I’m as well concealed as I can be right now, and I need to keep it that way.
I tear my eyes away from the girl before my beast can get worked up by the sight of her and that filth flirting.
“Evidently not,” Yuki comments. Then she cocks her head and rests her fingers on my chest. “Did I startle you?”
She did, but I don’t admit it.
“I’ve never been able to sneak up on you before. It shouldn’t be possible.”
“What are you doing here?” I change the subject.
She moves in closer to me, bringing her face to my chest as she reaches up with her hands, clasping them around the back of my neck. “Call it devotion, call it magic, but whatever it is, it ties me to you.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m here for the same reason you’re here. We’re going to tear down this hunter base. We’ve done things your way, watching this base for weeks, hardly ever moving from your vantage point way up here on this abandoned warehouse. Let me take care of things from here. It’ll make you feel better,” she whispers, tugging on the back of my neck.
When I don’t budge, she let’s go of me and surveys the humans below. “I’ll start then,” she says.
I follow her line of sight and see she’s looking right at the girl who has compromised my beast.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn.
“It’ll be fun,” she replies. I can see she’s thinking of letting her beast out.
“Control yourself or I’ll kill you where you stand.”
She tears her gaze away from the hunters below and looks straight into my eyes. It’s a challenge, the way she’s looking at me. She never challenges me.
“Will you?” she taunts. “I’m only going to carry out what you yourself were about to do.”
“I said control yourself.” I hiss.
I reach out and grab her, locking her body against mine as I bring my teeth to her neck, slicing her skin and drawing blood.
“I’m not bluffing,” I tell her.
She doesn’t struggle against me. She only holds her hands reflexively to my arms, silently pleading with me to release her. I do. She falls down in front of me, holding one of her hands to her neck as she gingerly rubs the sore spot.
“The angels want us to rush in blindly. They’ve set some sort of trap,” I say. “I don’t know what it is, but it has something to do with that girl. We’ve been over this.”
“You don’t have to make excuses to me,” she murmurs. “You’re never going to make a move. You keep saying the same things, but you never do anything about it. You aren’t acting like yourself lately.”
“It’s like I said.” I growl. “It’s the angels. They’re plotting something. If we rush in there, we’re both dead.”
“Are you saying that because it’s what you want to believe or because you honestly think it’s the truth? How powerful can one mortal girl be?”
I crouch down so I’m level with her. She holds my gaze for only a moment before she looks away, unable to contend with me.
I can’t take another look out into the crowd. I’ll see my girl with that angel again. If that happens, my logician will lose this battle to my beast, and I can’t allow that. But I can’t let her out of my sight either. For now, I’ll rely only on the weighty feeling of her presence, a presence that somehow distinguishes itself to me as an individual among the masses. It’s almost as if I’ve claimed her. That’s how bright she shines in this muddy world. I can pick her out easily, and that too, shouldn’t be possible. I haven’t claimed her. She hasn’t surrendered herself to me. I don’t know her. So, how is any of this possible? And why do I so desperately want to understand it instead of just eliminating the problem?
I SIT ALONE IN the lobby at the PA Branch of the EEA. Thanksgiving turned out to be a lot of fun. I hung out with Rynne all day. At the end of the day, he told me we should meet up in the mornings from now on. I couldn’t say no to that.
Rynne…
He’s always so calm and collected no matter what happens. He’s always been a little reserved, too. That’s why I was so shocked the day I saw him kissing a girl. It seemed… so out of character. That kiss plays in the back of my mind sometimes. I hate it. I have to remind myself that I’m just happy Rynne’s here. I shouldn’t be, but I am. This new life, this life I knew but didn’t know is scary. I feel safe when I’m with him. He’s always been the kind of guy that would stick up for the underdog. It’s his heart I first fell in love with. He was kind and open with me ever since he first moved to Reverie, almost like he knew me before and was greeting an old friend. We didn’t even need an icebreaker because we became friends so easily. Didi and Connor took the initiative in becoming my friends, too. I’ve been lucky that way. My shyness hasn’t stopped me from having wonderful friends.
Didi and Connor… I wonder how they’re doing. We’ve texted back and forth, slowly. I haven’t had much time to give to them. I’ve been too busy, and it’s been too hard. I can’t talk to them about anything I’m doing, not even school. They’d wonder why I’m not going to school, and why I’m working
my butt off to graduate early.
“Here bright and early,” Rynne says as he takes a seat beside me.
“You can thank Fiona for that,” I reply. “Just because she gave you a room in the base doesn’t mean she gave me one.”
“That’s because she wants you to actually leave this place once in a while.” He brings his hands together in his lap and sits up tall. “So, today you learn more about your sixth sense, right?”
“That’s right. Taking a break from monsters and spending some quality time with Divya to dive into the world of psychics. It sounds like I’ll be taking these classes alone. She said we’re the only two with any kind of psychic ability in this branch, and I guess specialized classes wouldn’t be much use for anyone who isn’t psychic.”
“It’s a rare gift.”
“I always thought it was a curse.” I unconsciously play with the black diamond heart hanging around my neck. “Well, I don’t know what I thought exactly. I just knew it was scary, so my parents helped me learn how to… ignore it, I guess. I mean, they taught me about spirits as much as they taught me about every other kind of supernatural thing, but they didn’t share my gift. Honestly, we all just kind of tried to ignore it. We tried so many ways to free me from this ability, but my black diamond is the only thing that ever worked to keep the ghosts away. Since it’s been shielding me, I haven’t had to worry about ghosts.”
“Are they that scary?”
“Have you ever talked to a ghost?” I search his eyes, but his expression holds neutral.
“No. I can’t say that I have. I have exorcised a man possessed by a spirit, however.” He offers me his perfect, always controlled smile. “I don’t have a sixth sense, though.”
“Yeah, I guess you don’t have to have a sixth sense to know ghosts are there, especially when it comes to powerful spirits that work to make themselves known. The spirits that came to me were always just lost souls, but there were so many of them. And even lost souls can be scary. All spirits of the dead who stick around want something. That’s the reason why they’re still here. Once a spirit’s business is concluded, they move on.”
“Move on to where?” Rynne asks in a somehow distant voice.
“Heaven or Hell, I guess.”
“What have your parents taught you about Heaven and Hell?”
I look at my hands. I start fidgeting with my nails, one of my many nervous habits. “A little bit of everything. My parents didn’t believe in one religion. They said there’s a little bit of truth in all of them.”
“I see.”
“What about you?”
Rynne shakes his head slightly. “Divya’s here.”
I look up from my hands to see her enter the lobby. She catches sight of me right away and gestures for me to join her.
“I’m really nervous,” I admit as I stand up. My hands are curled into fists at my sides.
“Don’t be.” Rynne stands up beside me and takes my left hand. He gently parts my fingers. He somehow releases all the tension I’m feeling when he does it. He lets his palm rest against mine for a moment before he speaks again. “You’ll do fine.”
I want to hold on to his hand when he turns away from me and waves, but I don’t. I just wave back.
“See you later,” I call after him.
He looks over his shoulder, smiling. Then we go our separate ways.
I follow Divya into one of the smaller classrooms I’ve been in before. It seems huge now though, with only the two of us here to occupy it. The built in benches are arranged into a half circle, all pointing to a Smart Board at the front of the room.
I take a seat on the front row bench, in the middle, while Divya gets prepared.
“We’ll start your training off with a lecture,” She says.
Unsure if I should raise my hand or not, I decide to stay on the safe side and do just that.
“It’s just the two of us, Tasia. There’s no need to raise your hand. If you have a question, go ahead and ask it.”
My cheeks flush their normal shade of embarrassment. “I’ve already looked through the EEA database. I’m pretty sure I’ve been through all files concerning psychics.”
“While that’s extremely ambitious of you, we still have to go over this information together. There are things that aren’t open information on the EEA database. You’d need a password to gain access to them—unless you’re a hacker, perhaps. Are you a hacker, Tasia?”
“N-no!” I sputter.
She laughs. “Only kidding. However, because you are so studious, and because your parents prepared you for this in many ways, these lecture portions will likely go by much quicker than they would otherwise.”
Divya looks at me thoughtfully. She’s wearing a beautiful sari in the colors of pink and yellow today. She always stands out among the other hunters all wearing workout clothes, or the black armor they wear when they go out on missions. Divya doesn’t go on missions—usually. Her jobs all revolve around the base.
She remarks, “I hope you’ve been keeping up on your school work as well.”
“I have,” I tell her. “Fiona and I made a deal. I intend to graduate as soon as possible.”
She shakes her head, but she’s smiling. I wait in silence as Divya brings up an image she wants to discuss. We start with the basics.
“So, what is a sixth sense, Tasia?”
“It depends on the individual, but having a sixth sense just means you’re unusual. The general term psychics is often used to describe those with a sixth sense because we have supernatural powers. Those powers can manifest in vastly different ways. For example: you and me have a connection to the spirits of the dead. And I knew an aura reader back in Reverie.”
“Correct,” Divya says with a nod, “and as you know, some abilities are hard to control. Not only those of us who can see spirits have difficulty with control. People who are gifted at psychometry, for example, can’t often control when they’ll read the history of an object simply by touching it. That’s why psychics are avid users of gemstones and crystals. They can help control what we cannot.”
I play with the black diamond heart around my neck.
“Yes,” she notes. “Your black diamond has been a fantastic protection against spirits for you. In fact, I’ve never heard of a crystal as powerful as yours. Fiona told me all about it. You should be extremely protective of that black diamond though, Tasia. As far as I can tell, no other crystal or black diamond could ever replace it.”
I nod.
“So our strength lies with spirits, but just because we’re in tune with the spirits of the deceased doesn’t mean we’re the only ones who can perceive them. Certain types of spirits will make themselves known no matter who they are dealing with.”
“Like poltergeists,” I say.
“Yes, like poltergeists, or any other number of extremely assertive or malevolent spirits. Luckily, there are a larger number of passive spirits than there are assertive. However, just because a spirit is assertive doesn’t automatically mean it’s harmful. Just because we have a sixth sense that allows us a closer connection to these spirits than others doesn’t mean we are better equipped to fight off malevolent spirits. Often, that’s a job better left for an exorcist. We are mediums, a neutral force that spirits can reach out to.
“Those with a sixth sense to see spirits can be invaluable to the EEA. If we mediums leave ourselves open to passing spirits, any spirit can command our attention. However, when we go to the sight of a murder, or sometimes if we have a picture or any information at all of a particular murder victim in mind, we are more likely to call out to a specific spirit instead. Calling upon the soul of someone who has been killed by the supernatural often gives us leads we’d never be able to find otherwise. More often than not, we can connect to these kinds of spirits, because those who had their lives cut short at the hands of someone or something else hardly ever move on until their murderer is brought to justice.”
I ask, “What happens if we can’t
find the victim even after calling out to them? Does that really mean they’ve just moved on and we’ll never get any answers?”
“It may or may not. Sometimes we simply have a harder time getting in touch with a spirit. It doesn’t necessarily mean that spirit has moved on.”
I hold out my black diamond. “Is there no way to block out spirits ourselves without the use of a gemstone or crystal?”
“We can learn to block spirits out to some degree, but we all must sleep, and in sleep we’re vulnerable.”
I tuck my crystal inside of my shirt so I can feel it against my skin. I can’t imagine what my life would have been like up until this point if I had been bombarded by spirits all the time like when I was a kid. Honestly, I don’t think I would have survived this long. Then again, if I had been more receptive of the spirits around me, would they have told me of the danger that was coming? Could I have prevented my parents’ deaths? Could I have called back my parents’ spirits instead of blacking out like I did? I quiver as the memory creeps up on me and then slides away again into darkness. Then the images in my head turn to Arsen. Arsen. Always Arsen. I clench my hands so tightly my skin turns white.
I decide to ask, “If we allow ourselves to always be receptive, would the spirits around us warn us of dangers to come? Could I have… Could I have saved my parents? Could I have called their souls back?”
Divya’s face falls. “No, Tasia. Don’t even think like that. Spirits are unpredictable. You can’t always be receptive. Your black diamond is a lifesaver for you. Keep it with you always, and never blame yourself for your parents’ death. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Do you think I might be able to find their spirits even though their bodies were cremated? Do you think I can find them even though you couldn’t?” I try to swallow the lump in my throat. “I just miss them so much.”
“It’s possible, but it would be best not to obsess over that slim possibility. Your parents loved you, and even if you don’t see them again in this life, that will never change.”
Hearts Lie (Undying Love, Book 1) Page 18
