Somewhere in the dark hours of the night, Sophie had formed a plan to carry her through today, and if that was successful, it would hopefully see her through the next day, and the next.
“New normal, here I come,” she said under her breath as she let herself out of her apartment and walked to her car parked on the side of the building.
By the time she reached the office she’d all but convinced herself she could do this. Right up until the moment she saw Zach’s SUV in the office’s basement parking lot. Her palms grew sweaty on her steering wheel and she had to concentrate to breathe properly. It would have been so much easier had she been the first to arrive today.
“New normal, remember?” she chided herself in the rearview mirror before alighting from the car and making her way to the elevator.
The main office was still unstaffed and despite the fact they had no idea of what she’d been up to over the weekend, she was grateful she didn’t have to run the gauntlet. She knew she looked terrible. Two nights of broken sleep did that to a person. Two very different nights, she thought briefly before assembling her features into an expression she hoped would appear calm and capable and letting herself into the executive suite.
Zach’s office door was closed and she could hear voices coming from inside. As she was putting her bag away, she heard his door open and Zach and an older couple came out. Past them she could see another woman sitting by Zach’s desk. Zach closed the office door behind him and shook the man’s hand, then leaned forward to kiss the woman on the cheek, only to be enveloped in a huge hug before, on a strangled sob, she reached for her husband and they walked straight out without so much as acknowledging her.
Zach’s face looked strained. It didn’t look as if he’d had any more sleep than Sophie had, she realized as he turned and went back into his office, closing the door once again.
There had been something vaguely familiar about the woman who’d left. She wondered if she should offer Zach and the person she’d seen still sitting in his office a hot drink. She supposed if she was going to break the ice between her and Zach, it would certainly be easier to do it with another person there to act as a buffer.
She put her coffee mug on her desk and walked the short distance to Zach’s door, knocking sharply before twisting the knob and opening the door.
“Good morning,” she said as smoothly as she could. “I wondered if you and your guest would like coffee or tea? Or perhaps some water?”
“Coffee, thanks,” Zach bit out crisply. “Anna?”
Sophie felt a frozen chunk of lead settle in the pit of her stomach. This was Zach’s ex-wife? Oh, Lord, she didn’t know if she was ready for this. Coming face-to-face with the woman he’d chosen to marry, the woman who’d borne his son. The woman who so needed him now that he’d moved heaven and earth to do what he could to help her.
“Just water, thanks,” the other woman said, her voice wobbly as if she was crying.
Sophie turned to her with a smile. “Sure thing, I’ll be back in a mom—”
Her heart shuddered to a halt in her chest. The walls of Zach’s spacious office began to close in on her. Too afraid to speak, to even draw a breath, Sophie straightened and walked out of the office, shutting the door behind her and leaning against its solid surface as if that was the only thing keeping her upright at this point in time.
No wonder the woman who’d just left looked vaguely familiar. The last time Sophie had seen her was twenty-two years ago. The day her sister had left the small rented apartment she’d shared with Sophie and their mother. The day Sophie, in her six-year-old innocence, had believed her four-year-old sister was going for a vacation with her daddy’s sister. A vacation? It had been a lifetime. She could still see her baby sister waving excitedly as she was led away by her aunt. Sophie hadn’t been able to understand why her mother was sobbing quietly in her bedroom when Suzie was going to come back soon, wasn’t she?
It had been several weeks before her mother could even tell Sophie the truth. By then, her mother had become a brittle shell, even worse than she’d been after burying her second husband. It was as if, with Suzie gone, all the light had gone from her world, leaving Sophie to pick up the pieces of the life they’d had before. A simple life, certainly not one with any extravagances in it, but they’d had love. Six-year-old Sophie had made it her mission to show her mother every day that it would be all right, that they still had one another, that they could cope with the gaping hole in their lives where Suzie had been.
Suzie. Anna Lassiter was Suzie.
Sure, she’d grown up, she’d changed, and obviously her name had been changed, but Sophie would have recognized her little sister anywhere. The knowledge slowly seeped into her mind, spreading through her body with something akin to hope. But that hope was brought to an uncompromising end when she remembered exactly who Suzie was now.
Zach’s ex-wife. An ex-wife she knew he still spoke to almost daily. An ex-wife he still felt duty bound to care for, and Anna desperately needed care if what Zach had told her over the weekend was true.
Sophie pushed off the door and went quickly to the kitchenette, automatically going through the motions of pouring Zach’s coffee and a glass of ice water for Anna, complete with a slice of lemon. She put the drinks on a small tray and closed her eyes a moment, drawing in a stabilizing breath before she went back to his office and knocked on the door and let herself in.
She fought the urge to say something to her sister, to beg her to look her in the eyes and recognize what they had lost when they had been split apart all those long years ago. Her hand shook slightly as she put the water glass on a coaster on the edge of Zach’s desk, beside where Anna was sitting. She took the opportunity for an assessing glance at the woman little Suzie had become.
It broke Sophie’s heart to see the person sitting slightly hunched over in the chair, her blond hair long and stringy—desperately in need of a decent wash and style—her blue eyes, a legacy from her father, dull and filled with misery. She was far too thin, her clothes hanging off her shoulders. Sophie ached to put her arms around her, to try to assure her sister that everything would now be okay, but she didn’t have that right.
Suzie was gone. Anna sat in the chair here in Zach’s office. Anna who’d grown up with another life, another world, a husband, a child—the loss of that child. Sophie felt that loss now, as immediate and as sharp as if she’d experienced it herself.
“Sophie?”
Zach’s voice reminded her of her task, of where she was.
“Oh, um, I’m sorry. Here’s your coffee. Will there be anything else?”
She met his eyes for the first time since he’d sent her packing from his home, from his bed. She expected to see something there, some flicker or spark, but his gaze remained inscrutable, devoid of any feeling—for her, at least.
“No, thank you. Anna and I will be leaving shortly. I don’t expect to be back in the office today and I’d like you to take care of my calls for me.”
“Certainly,” she said, taking refuge in her old persona. The superefficient executive assistant who never put a foot wrong. The one who hadn’t been disloyal to her boss by suspecting him of being party to a heinous crime. The one who hadn’t fallen irrevocably in love with him. “It was nice to meet you, Mrs. Lassiter.”
The other woman didn’t even acknowledge her and continued to sit, staring down at her hands, a slow, steady trail of tears rolling down her cheeks.
Sophie collected the empty tray and left the office, her legs working automatically, her heart beating so hard in her chest she was surprised Zach and Anna hadn’t heard it. In the kitchenette she bent to stow the tray in its cupboard then stood, unmoving, as if not knowing what to do next.
And she didn’t know. Not in all honesty. She’d waited all this time to be with her sister again, yet now, having discovered who and where she was, there was no way she could land her discovery on the poor creature in Zach’s office.
At least Suzie—no, Anna,
she scolded herself—had Zach on her side, Sophie consoled herself as she felt the burning-hot sting of tears in her own eyes. The fact he had her right here, that he’d spent so much time in the past month or so trying to find help and that he’d apparently now convinced her parents—her adoptive parents—to support him in his quest to get treatment for Anna, spoke volumes as to how much he must still love his ex-wife.
Acknowledging the truth of that love was both a blessing and heartrendingly painful. A blessing because now, hopefully, her sister would have the chance to get well again, to be whole. To learn to accept her grief without allowing it to consume her very reason for continuing to live. The pain came in accepting that no matter how much Sophie loved Zach, no matter what chance she’d ever stood of maybe earning his forgiveness for letting him down the way she had, he wasn’t hers to love. Never had been, never could be—not when he still loved Anna and when Anna needed him so much.
There was no light at the end of her tunnel. No hope. Even if, by some unexpected and unbelievable twist of fate, Sophie did receive Zach’s forgiveness, she could never do that to her little sister.
Anna needed help, pure and simple. It started with Zach and the doctor he’d been consulting with at the Philmore Clinic, and maybe one day it could end with Sophie. She’d been incapable of helping her sister before today but there had to be something Sophie could do for Anna—even if it meant giving up the man she loved with all her heart.
Thirteen
Around visits to the Philmore Clinic, Zach poured himself into his work. It should have been a panacea, but what relief was it when each day he came face-to-face with the woman who invaded his every sleeping moment and most of his waking ones, too?
He hadn’t known how Sophie would react at the office the first Monday they were back, but she’d behaved with her old consummate professionalism—her clothing tasteful and not in any way revealing, although with how thoroughly and intimately he knew her now, it didn’t take any stretch of the imagination before his body was aching and seething with frustration. If only it could be as simple as just keeping it physical, but what had begun to grow between them had been more than that. At least he’d begun to think so. Foolishly, it seemed—and that was why the discovery of what she’d believed him capable of was even more agonizing. And although Sophie kept her physical distance during the times they had to occupy space together in the office, as intangible as it was, he still felt her with him.
The only good thing about the past week and a half was that Anna had finally agreed, with her parents’ blessing, to be admitted to the Philmore Clinic and was actively participating in her rehabilitation. Even so, Zach experienced a clutch of fear in his gut each time his cell phone rang. What if she decided to leave, decided that she didn’t need Dr. Philmore’s treatment any longer? Or worse, that she felt well enough to leave long before she’d been medically cleared? It was a secure facility, but the choice to remain there was hers alone.
He could only hope as each day passed that she could see the good the clinic could do for her and find the strength from somewhere to battle back to the woman she used to be.
At work, though, there was a new tension in the air. Understandable, given the circumstances, but no less comfortable to live and work with. Sophie had been professionalism incarnate, keeping their interactions brief and to the point. Even so, he still felt uncomfortable around her, his mind plagued with memories of the intimacies they’d shared and of the shock of finding out she’d duped him all along. Added to that, the police had recently confirmed there were no new leads as to what the hell had happened to Alex. Some of their clients had grown antsy and Zach had spent a good portion of the week soothing the more volatile among them and talking them down from wanting to take their investment capital elsewhere. He hadn’t been a hundred percent successful and that failure rankled him.
He was mentally exhausted by the time he drove home toward the end of the week, wanting nothing more than a scotch on the rocks and a good movie, but tonight he was expected at his first official TCC members’ meeting. He could only hope that nothing contentious sprang up to make the meeting take longer than absolutely necessary. After all, per the agenda he’d been emailed earlier in the week, they were to discuss hiring a child-care-center manager. How contentious could that get?
It didn’t take long to figure that one out, Zach discovered a couple of hours later.
“I still say it’s outrageous that we’re even contemplating the need for this here appointment of a center manager,” Beau Hacket said, his color rising in his face in step with the volume of his voice. “Waste of club funds, in my opinion. What’s wrong with a roster of parent helpers?”
“Beau,” past president Brad Price said wearily from his position as chairman of the meeting, “stop hashing over something that’s a done deal. The child-care center is happening, voted and agreed upon, whether you like it or not, and it will be a professionally run and certified entity in its own right. The appointment of a suitable and qualified manager is an integral part of that process.”
“I don’t like it and I don’t mind telling anybody that,” the older man blustered.
“So we’ve heard,” came a wry voice from the back of the room.
Zach couldn’t be sure who had said it, but the round of suppressed laughter through the meeting room that followed suggested there were several there who were totally over Hacket’s old-school views.
One of the other older members stood up. “I still don’t see why this is even an agenda issue.”
“That’s right,” interjected Beau. “What difference does it make who runs the dang thing? It’ll be nothing but a hyped-up babysitter service for women who ought to be looking after their babies at home anyway.”
Zach could see Brad’s wife, Abigail, starting to get hot under the collar. She’d held her peace up until now, but the old man had just pushed one too many buttons.
“Now just one minute—” she started angrily as her husband banged his gavel on the table.
Zach got to his feet and put up his hand. He could hear the others in the room shift in their seats as he did so—some curious as to why he’d stood to speak, others clearly just wishing the meeting would get over and done with.
“I think we need to look at this item calmly and carefully. What has been proposed is clearly far more than a babysitting service, don’t you all agree?” He looked around the room, meeting the eyes of those who were clearly on his side as well as a few who weren’t.
He continued. “We’re talking about child care. Your children’s care. Your grandchildren’s care. This isn’t just some short-term setup so your wives can enjoy a game of tennis or two on those new courts while your kids are cared for by some glorified nanny. There are enough of you who already have one of those, right?” A smattering of laughter, this time more of camaraderie than ridicule, filled the room. “This is to be a place where your children and grandchildren can learn to be worthwhile people, where they can learn to socialize and interact with other kids and their caretakers in a safe, happy and healthy environment. Where they can learn and grow and allow their parents the time they too need to be worthy citizens of Royal, doing the works they do to make our town great. It would be narrow-minded and shortsighted not to realize that the appointment of a suitable manager is paramount.”
He turned and faced Beau Hacket outright. As the old man was the powerful and respected ringleader of the members who’d been most vocal in their disapproval, Zach knew he had to get Hacket onboard if they were to avoid further trouble down the line.
“Mr. Hacket, your daughter has brought new business and capital to our town with her work, work that will hopefully stand Royal in good stead for future movie locations. After all, look at what Lord of the Rings did for New Zealand. Why wouldn’t we want a piece of that?” Zach could feel the mood in the room beginning to lighten, the tide beginning to turn. “Now she’s expecting a family—twins, I’m told. Should Lila put all her hard work—
work I’m also told you’re incredibly proud of—on a back burner, perhaps never to be touched again, simply because there is nowhere suitable for your grandchildren to be cared for? Don’t your grandchildren deserve the very best?”
Beau Hacket spoke gruffly. “Of course they do. But that’s why they should be cared for by their mother, at home.”
“But what if caring for her babies isn’t the best thing for Lila? What if her work is so important to her, so vital to her happiness, that a few hours a week in a center such as we’re creating gives your daughter the best of both worlds? Can’t you see now how important it is that we consider carefully each and every application so that when an appointment is made we can all be secure in the knowledge that we’ve found the very best person for the job? For our children, and our grandchildren?”
“He makes a good point, Beau. You don’t want any old biddy in charge of our kids,” commented the gentleman who’d supported Beau Hacket earlier. “I know I don’t want my grandbabies in the hands of some random stranger.”
Zach could feel the mood in the room shift, becoming less combative, less old-school versus new.
“Why are you so all-fired keen on this idea, Lassiter? You’re not even married,” someone yelled from the back of the room.
“No, I’m not. But one day I’d like to think I’ll marry again, and have a family of my own—” again, he added silently “—and I’d like to think that my wife and I would have a choice about where our children will receive their early learning. I’d like it to be somewhere like here, within the TCC. In a child-care center that embraces the same values that we’ve all sworn to uphold.”
Something about the Boss... Page 11
