by Advocate
Blue eyes flashed angrily even as tears began to well in them. "You heard me, Faylinn. It was, and is, not your place to play nurse-nanny to me every second of every day!"
Faylinn’s hand clenched at her sides. "And just who was going to dress and feed you? Keep your wounds clean and your body washed? And yes, by God, even clear away your chamber pot when you could not? Hmm?"
"I don’t know!" Bridget shouted back, confused. Suddenly she couldn’t meet Faylinn’s sharp gaze. Things were spiraling out of control and she couldn’t seem to stop them. "I can manage on my own now." That was a lie and she knew it.
Faylinn shook her head, fighting the urge to lash back. But Bridget wasn’t making it easy. "Be reasonable, Bridget. Even now, you still cannot—"
"I am not an invalid!" Bridget’s voice dropped an octave and took on an icy edge that Faylinn had never had directed towards her before. "Though you seem to believe that I am."
Faylinn’s cheeks took on an angry flush and she took a step closer to Bridget. "I never said that. I never even thought it!" But then, and at the worst possible moment, her eyes fixed itself on Bridget’s splinted arm. ‘How that must hurt.’ She blinked as exactly what she was doing hit her. Her eyes snapped upward but it was too late. The raw pain that chased its way across Bridget’s face made her gasp.
"That’s right." Bridget’s entire body went still. "Set wrong, I suspect. It’s basically useless. A burden." She cocked her head slightly to the side and her dark brows pulled together. "Like me."
"Oh, God, please don’t think that’s what I believe." Faylinn’s eyes went glassy and she wiped at them frantically. "That… that’s not…."
Bridget turned her back on her friend and stared at the glowing orange and red coals in the fireplace. In one glance her faith in herself had been shaken to the very core and her fears confirmed. "No need to fuss, Faylinn. Despite my current condition, I am more than capable of caring for myself. "
Faylinn ran a shaky hand through her hair. "As long as you don’t want to get back up if you fall," she snorted as the last of her patience vanished. "Or you don’t want to fasten the ties of your clothing. Or—"
The older woman’s face contorted in rage and she whirled around, ignoring a wave of dizziness. "I will be fine. Go!" She pointed to the door with a trembling hand. "Get out of this wretched, smelly room. I don’t need you at all!"
It felt like a stinging slap to the face. But Faylinn didn’t recoil. Instead of fleeing the room, as Bridget knew she would, she marched up to the dark-haired woman, seething. She grabbed two large fists full of Bridget’s shirt and yanked her down towards her. They were nose to nose, feeling hot, labored breaths against her lips. Her heart began to pound out of her chest and for a split second Faylinn had the strongest urge to barely tilt her chin and brush her lips….
"Faylinn?"
Bridget’s words startled her, forcing her back to the moment. She shook her head. "You, Bridget Redding, are the most idiotic woman on God’s Earth." Heedless of Bridget’s arm, she shook her roughly, feeling the muffled groans of pain as though they were her very own. But she didn’t stop. "What you see in my eyes when they look at you is not pity, you imbecile!" Her gaze found her hands and she stared at them as though they belonged to someone else. She uncoiled her trembling fists and let them fall to her sides.
Their eyes met and Bridget found herself holding her breath.
"It’s love."
Dumbstruck, Bridget watched as Faylinn turned on her heels, grabbed her cloak from the peg near the door and marched out of the room, grumbling loudly all the while. She should, she knew, go after Faylinn, drop to her knees and beg her forgiveness. Instead, she watched in pained silence as the other woman trudged angrily towards the Beynon house… and away from her.
"Bloody hell!" Bridget cradled her left arm, and tapped impatiently on the splint. Violently, she tore it off her arm, nearly biting her lip through in agony. "That," she hissed through clenched teeth, "was not smart." She could feel some sensation in her hand and fingers but couldn’t make a fist or even bend it at the elbow. For all intents and purposes it hung limply at her side like a piece of meat. Useless.
Her cuts and bruises had faded, and she’d been making slow but steady progress in gaining back most of the weight, but only some of the stamina, that she’d lost over the past six weeks. But in Bridget’s mind it wasn’t nearly enough. Faylinn needed her now more than ever.
She rested her forehead in her hand and sighed raggedly. How had things gotten so out of control and changed so quickly. While she had always spent a fair amount of her time on the mainland, Cobb Island was still her home. Judith and Afia and even Elizabeth were her family. Now she was as unsure of her own place as she was Faylinn’s.
* * *
Will snapped the reins of his cart sharply and the mule dutifully complied, picking up his sluggish pace. Lifting the tri-horn hat from his head, he gazed up at the blanket of twinkling stars and scowled. "Lazy beast. We should have been home hours ago." He replaced his hat. "Snow’s not that deep."
"Mmm." Katie agreed softly as she patted Will’s leg. She shifted on the seat next to him, tilting her head closer to his. "I’ve no doubt Bridget is at this very moment climbing the walls, blaspheming all the while."
Will snorted. "It wouldn’t surprise me one bit to see her on the road up ahead, waiting." They weren’t but a mile or so from home and Will guided his cart off the path that ran along the coast and over a grassy, snow-covered hill.
"She certainly cares for her sister-in-law." Katie’s tone was full of honest admiration. "God bless them, they are the picture of sisterly devotion."
"Sisterly?" Will’s eyebrows crawled up his forehead and stayed. He turned to his wife and opened his mouth.
"Yes?"
The air was silent except for the dull thudding of the mule’s hooves and the creaking of the wheels. "Ummm…" He quickly thought of the young woman huddled in the back of his cart and gave his head a little shake. "Not a blessed thing, sweet Katie." Lord above, what was I thinkin’? He had nearly violated one of life’s sacred rules and he repeated it over in his head, lest he forget again sometime soon. What Katie doesn’t know can’t hurt me. What Katie doesn’t know can’t hurt me.
The cart lurched heavily to one side and Faylinn’s head jerked up… and right into a small keg of beer. "Oww." She rubbed the spot just above her ear.
"Serves you right for falling asleep back there," Will said gruffly.
"That means: ‘I’m sorry for steering the cart right into that big hole and I’ll try to be more careful in the future’," Katie explained to Faylinn, who chuckled quietly.
Faylinn rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Apology accepted, Will."
The man didn’t answer verbally but his face creased into a happy smile.
Faylinn pulled her cloak tighter around her shoulders and tilted her head towards the sky. It was a moonless, cloudless night and it looked as though God had scattered a hand full of glittering diamonds into a great black sea. "We’re late," she commented absently.
Will snapped the reins again in response.
Katie heard Faylinn’s sigh and reached back to squeeze the young woman’s shoulder. "She’ll be fine."
Faylinn swallowed and nodded. "I know she will. I’m just being silly, I suppose. But… Do you think she’ll have eaten?" Bridget hated to cook and Faylinn pictured her having nothing but jerky and stale bread over the past two days.
Will burst out laughing. "If she hasn’t eaten in the past two days she’ll either be dead or weaker than gnat’s piss by the time we get home."
"Will!" Katie scolded. "Watch your language."
The man smiled sheepishly and leaned backwards over his seat, making a great show of tipping his hat to Faylinn. Any sense of class-consciousness had long since disappeared between them but it was still worth teasing over. "My apologies, Mistress Redding."
Katie narrowed her hazel eyes at her husband. "I said hush. No more teasin’ the g
irl. It’s right for her to be concerned about her own kinfolk. It wasn’t so many days ago that we were thinking we’d be buryin’ Bridget before the first hard freeze."
"What?" Faylinn gasped.
"Big mouth," Will grumbled to Katie. Then he moved to assure Faylinn. "Bridget is a strong woman and she’s well enough to be left alone or we wouldn’t have left her in the first place." And she needs some space to breath. Though Will prudently kept that thought to himself.
Faylinn fingered the small bundle tucked beneath her cloak. "I… I suppose she is." But their parting argument had left her feeling unsettled and shaky. In the months since they’d met, she and Bridget had rarely exchanged a cross word. Until now. Part of her was petrified that they’d return to the homestead to find Bridget gone.
"Wilfred is right. Concern is fine, worry will only give you gray hairs." Katie pointed to her own salt-and-peppered head. "If this isn’t proof, I don’t know what is!"
"Be quiet, woman," Will admonished.
Katie blithely ignored him. "Faylinn, how are you feeling?"
"Fine." A pause. "I think."
"You’re still tired." It wasn’t a question.
Faylinn’s eyes slid shut and she shivered. "A little, I guess." She’d had a comfortable bed with a feather-filled mattress all to herself the night before but still hadn’t slept a wink. She missed the warm body she curled up against each night. "Though I did fall asleep back here."
"Only the good Lord above will ever know how with the way my Will drives."
Will turned to his wife and frowned. "Next time I’m leavin’ you at home, nag!"
"You are not," Katie informed him bluntly.
"If you sass me like that again, I most certainly will!" He puffed up his chest, daring her to say differently. Which, of course, she immediately did.
"Ha! You will…"
Faylinn shook her head as the couple bickered. She’d never seen two people who loved each other so, argue so bitterly. And strangely, that made her feel a little bit better about her and Bridget. You’re every bit as stubborn as Will, Bridget. And I love you every bit as much as Katie does him. They hadn’t so much as shared a kiss since that single, desperate time, the night Bridget was to be executed. Still, she knew she held Bridget’s heart, she only hoped that after they spoke this night Bridget would still want hers. The mere thought of another confrontation caused Faylinn’s stomach to churn mercilessly. And she wrapped her arms around herself in mute comfort.
Then the arguing and the wagon came to an abrupt halt.
"Here we are."
Faylinn looked up in surprise. They were parked right outside the stable.
Will jumped down from his seat and stretched with a loud groan. He quickly unhooked the mule and led her inside, telling her how, come next spring, she was going to be turned into several new pair of boots and a set of tack.
The blood drained from Faylinn’s face when she looked at the door. She should see a trail of smoke coming from the chimney above but not a single sliver of light shone through the shutters.
"Thank you for the beautiful cloth and keg of beer for Will." Katie’s exhale sent a cloud of fog spiraling upward. "We didn’t expect any Christmas gifts."
Faylinn pushed away thoughts of Bridget for just a moment and smiled weakly at Katie. "Then why I am wearing a new dress?" It was as simple and shapeless as a dress could be. But it was made by Katie’s own hand and Faylinn had come to realize just how precious a commodity cloth was. The gift was yet another kindness from a couple whose generosity already astounded her.
Katie’s blush was evident even in the starlight. "Well, it would hardly be proper for you to go walking about town dressed as a man."
Unlike Bridget, who frequently wore trousers, they had taken some getting used to for Faylinn. Though she had to admit they seemed far more practical now that she’d actually tried them out.
"Did you enjoy town? A far cry from London I suspect."
Faylinn smiled gently. "It wasn’t London, Katie. And it didn’t need to be. I had a grand time. Thank you for the invitation."
Unlike Bridget, Faylinn had spent her entire time in the Colonies on Cobb Island. On the mainland, she was just another young woman, completely anonymous unless she happened to run into one of the Naval Officers with whom Cyril had done business. But Will had assured her that if she steered clear of the local docks, taverns, and brothel, she would have nothing to fear. But just in case, the young woman never lowered her cloak’s hood.
In town, Will had helped her pawn a necklace Cyril had given Faylinn as a wedding gift. The amount she received for it was a paltry sum for a piece of jewelry of passable quality. But it allowed her to buy gifts for the Beynons and still have plenty left over to purchase a few food items and sneak them into Katie’s crate. Her favorite gift, however, she had yet to give.
Faylinn grinned. "I felt much more comfortable in town with this on than I would have wearing trousers. Thank you again." The grin slipped as Faylinn eased herself out the back of the small cart.
"Don’t fret so much." Katie pulled the smaller woman into a tight hug and pressed her lips to Faylinn’s cold ear. "She will understand."
Faylinn nodded. "Merry… Merry Christmas, Kat—" Her throat closed tightly and she bolted past Will, who was exiting the stable.
"Whoa." He turned worried eyes on his wife as he hefted the small keg of beer onto one shoulder and Katie helped him lay a fifty-pound sack of flour on the other. "Is she all right?"
Katie filled her arms with the bolt of cloth and a wooden crate full of cooking supplies–she’d have to make another trip for the rest. "If she’s not, you’ll be diggin’ that grave for Bridget Redding you were so worried about before."
Will’s wide eyes followed his wife’s portly form as it plowed through the snow towards their house. "Uh oh."
CHAPTER SEVEN
Virginia (Mainland)
December, 1690
Christmas Eve
THE DOG RAN up to Faylinn as soon as she entered the stable. He howled his greeting, his shaggy body shaking wildly as he rubbed himself against her skirt. "Hello, boy. Yeah," she cooed fondly, "I missed you too." She sighed. "And someone else who lives here." She gave him a gentle pat on the head and straightened, exhaling with exaggerated slowness. Her eyes were riveted to the door to the back room. From inside of the stables, she now could see the tiniest slice of golden light coming from beneath the doorway and spilling out onto the fragrant hay that lined the floor. Thank God. No matter what, at least she’s here. Asleep, I’ll hazard.
"I’m going to go in there now," Faylinn told herself firmly, setting her resolve. But her feet didn’t move. She looked down in disgust. "All right, this time I mean it." And with gritted teeth, she forced herself across the room. She felt as if she was wading through a thick molasses swamp. Every step was a colossal effort as her disobedient legs did their best to ignore her brain’s command to hurry up and get this over with.
When she finally reached the door she groaned and let her forehead rest against the cool wood as she closed her eyes. Go on, Faylinn. You cannot avoid her forever. Pushing away from the door, she pulled the edges of her cloak together and dropped her hood, her golden hair spilling out over her shoulders. She swallowed and reached out for the door handle, but before she could open it, it flew open. "Whoa!" She stumbled backwards to avoid being struck.
When she found her legs, she glanced up. Breathless, she drank in the sight before her.
Bridget stood tall and proud in the bedroom doorway, backlit by a small flickering candle that cast long shadows across the walls. Her long hair was slightly disheveled as if she’d been sleeping or out in the wind.
Even through the near darkness Faylinn could see the keen awareness in her features.
The familiar thought that Bridget looked larger than life raced through Faylinn’s mind and, despite her concern, she was hard-pressed not to swoon. "Umm…" Bridget was staring at her and she found herself slightly tongu
e-tied. A little self-consciously, she squared her own shoulders. She can see right through me. I know she can. "Hello."
She’s all right. "Faylinn," Bridget acknowledged quietly. She stared down at her own boots for a moment before her eyes lifted. "You’re… Umm… You’re late." Dammit, that is not what I wanted to say.
Faylinn nodded slowly. At least she’s still talking to me. She starting moving forward, and Bridget backed into the room and allowed her to pass.
Faylinn immediately noticed the cold fireplace but decided not to comment. She tucked her hands inside her cloak. "We got more snow last night and the road was slow traveling."
"It’s all right." Bridget shrugged one shoulder with forced casualness. "I wasn’t really worried."
A tiny smile twitched at Faylinn’s lips. "You weren’t, huh?" she challenged quietly.
Bridget’s eyes softened in response to Faylinn’s smile and a tentative grin eased over worried features. "No. Not at all. Though I did miss you." After a second’s debate, she held one arm out in invitation.
Faylinn couldn’t close the distance between them fast enough. Her shoes scraped loudly on the rough wooden floors and before she knew it she was wrapped tightly in Bridget’s embrace. Her pulse was pounding so loudly she could barely hear anything else, and she felt Bridget’s thumping wildly against her chest in return. She wrapped her arms as tightly around the other woman as she dared, her relief so staggering she thought her knees would give way. "I’m sor—"
"I apologi—"
They both stopped and laughed in simple relief, though there was still a very faint, underlying tension between them.
"God, Bridget," Faylinn drew in a greedy breath of the darker woman’s scent, allowing it to flood her senses and calm her, "I wasn’t…" She stopped and swallowed past the lump in her throat, startled at how much just saying the words hurt. "I wasn’t sure if you’d be here when I got back. I know you’ve been going mad under my constant care. It’s just… just—" The words came out in a jumbled rush. "But…I… you were hurt. And I couldn’t make you… I just needed to help you."
