“Did the pastor set you straight?”
“He sure did! A month later, it was time to come back to the States, but the pastor told me I should prayerfully seek out what I felt God wanted me to do and to not lean on my own understanding. My thoughts of saving tons of people were skewed. The pastor said if I just helped one person find Christ, that’s a blessing. He said I shouldn’t be concerned with the number of souls I save, but to just tell people about the gospel. It’s up to them if they want to accept Christ.”
They strolled along the shore for several minutes as John thought about Brian Smith’s words. “Thanks, I’ll think about all this.”
“Do better than think about it. I want you to pray about it.”
Brian touched John’s shoulder before draining his coffee cup. “I have to go now, since I’m leading the small group study in the conference room.”
John barely waved to Brian as he took his exit. His mind was now consumed with so many conflicting thoughts.
❧
Two days later, John knocked on Monica’s door. She answered it, looking professional in her dark business suit. “John! I didn’t realize you were coming over tonight. I just got home from work and was just about to make dinner for Scotty, Gina, and me.” Her mouth was set in a firm line as she closed the door.
“What’s the matter?”
She glanced up the stairs, as if hesitant to discuss what troubled her lest Gina and Scotty would overhear them, and beckoned him into the kitchen. A package of ground beef thawed on the stove, and a raw onion sat beside the meat. She rubbed her forehead, and he wondered if she was getting a headache. He touched her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
She nodded and composed herself. “Gina is trying to make a change in her life, but it’s kind of slow getting that change to take place.”
“Really? What happened?”
“Well, when I was in the back of the house yesterday, I saw some cigarette butts in the yard, so I know she’s been sneaking outside to smoke.”
He took her hand. “Give it some time. I’ve never smoked before, but I do know several people who do, and I know what a struggle it is for them to quit. It’s an addiction. Perhaps she can see a doctor. I do know there are things out there for people to use if they want to quit smoking.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
“Is that all that’s bothering you?”
“No, I smelled alcohol on her breath last night. She knows she can’t drink while she’s in my home.”
“Honey, I know she’s still struggling with these things. Has it been really bad? Is she at least attempting to make the changes in her life?”
She nodded. “She doesn’t cuss, and she does seem to take comfort in the scriptures.”
“Has she been looking for a job?”
“Yes, she looks through the newspaper every day. I helped her get a résumé together, too.”
“Well, that’s good. Maybe she’ll be ready to accept Christ soon.”
Monica squeezed his hand. “Yeah, maybe.” She looked into his eyes. “I sense you didn’t come over here tonight to talk about Gina. You look like something is on your mind. Is everything going okay with all of your church duties? How are things going in the men’s choir?”
He squeezed her hand, softening his voice. “The men’s choir and Bible studies are going well. I wanted to talk about us.”
“Have you decided to join that ministry?”
“Baby, I haven’t decided that yet.” He told her about his conversation with Brian Smith. “He said some things that made me think.”
“And?”
“And I’m still not sure about my decision to go, but I need some space for a couple of weeks to think and pray about it. I’ll probably see you in church and stuff, but I wanted to know if you would give me two weeks of privacy while I pray and make my decision.”
“Okay, I’ll give you your two weeks of privacy as long as you tell me the truth about your decision as soon as this hiatus is over.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “I promise.” He kissed her before he left.
❧
Monica placed her head in her hands, praying, hoping He would place the right decision on John’s heart. As she whispered an amen, her phone rang. She was glad to hear Karen on the line. After they spoke for a few moments, Karen said, “Monica, I can tell something is on your mind. What’s wrong? Does it have anything to do with John?”
“Yes. He needs to give our relationship a two-week break.”
“Why?”
Monica explained the situation to her, and Karen stated her opinion. “I can understand why he would need this time alone with God. He just wants to make sure he makes the right decision, and he still feels as if he should straighten out his life.”
“His life is straightened out. He just wants to make sure that if he decides to go into this ministry it’s what God wants him to do.”
Karen sighed. “Monica, he must still feel like his life is in shambles since he wants to make up for lost time by saving souls for God. That’s not the way salvation works.”
“I hope he decides to stay. He doesn’t seem to feel the calling of this ministry in his heart, and until he does, I think he should stay in Ocean City until he finds his true calling.”
“Monica,” Karen said gently, “maybe this is his true calling. If he does decide to go, you can’t get angry. You’ll need to be behind him 100 percent. Don’t be so selfish, thinking about the happiness you’ll give up when he leaves. If he’s doing this for the glory of God, there’s nothing you can do about it. This is between him and the Lord.”
Karen’s spiritual perception stayed on Monica’s mind the entire evening. Even after she had cooked their spaghetti dinner and made sure Scotty had done his homework, she still thought about Karen’s words. As she prepared herself for bed that night, she asked God to give her the strength to accept John’s decision gracefully.
❧
During the next two weeks, John was grateful for time alone with God. He attended his Sunday church services but spent most of his spare time in earnest prayer and studying God’s Word. He had highlighted the scriptures Pastor Martin and Brian Smith had given him. He read those key verses numerous times and decided his heart was telling him not to join this ministry right now. As he thought about his ministerial endeavors, he recalled the college students he taught at the university every day. He recalled the Christian organizations on campus and how the students would sometimes invite professors to attend these events. He could tell the students about his quest for God and about how he’d finally found Him. The university was the best mission field for him right now. He knew he should stay here to make a difference in the lives of these students.
Once he finally made his decision, he fell on his knees, thanking God for giving him the wisdom he craved. Lord, I know I don’t feel the desire to go into this ministry in my heart. I know You’re telling me to stay right here in Ocean City, and within this church, and reach out to the community and the college campus right here. I know I want to stay here, near Monica, so that, if she’ll have me, we can be together in a way that is acceptable in Your eyes. In Jesus’ name, amen.
❧
Monica tried to hum as she worked, but found her heart just wasn’t in it. Gina had taken Scotty to lunch and a Saturday afternoon movie. Instead of taking this time alone to sit and lament about John, she’d decided to use her energy cleaning her messy house. She turned her vacuum cleaner off and admired her freshly cleaned living room. She’d missed John for the last two weeks but knew she needed to give him his space so he could talk to God and make his decision.
She got a glass of ice water and sat on the couch. Her relationship with Gina was improving, and she had to admit her sister did have some common sense. Gina chastised her about not being truthful w
ith John about her feelings. “If you love the guy, let him know,” she’d advised.
So Monica promised herself that when she saw John again, she would let him know she loved him. Even if he did decide to leave for a year, she would take Karen’s advice and learn to accept it, and she would indeed wait for him.
A hard knock sounded at her door, disturbing her thoughts. She wondered if it was one of the neighborhood kids selling something for school. She opened it and faced John. He looked handsome in his sweatshirt and jeans. Trying desperately to calm her racing heart, she opened the door. “John. . .hi.”
She led him into her home. Before she had a chance to speak, he took her into his arms. She relished the scent of his aftershave as he kissed her. He remained silent, but love and adoration sparkled in his eyes. She swallowed, trying to moisten her suddenly dry throat. “John, before you say a word, I just want to be honest with you about something.” He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed two fingers over his beautiful lips. “I love you. I’ve been in love with you for a while, but I was too scared and insecure to let you know. It was wrong of me not to be honest about my feelings for you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Monica Crawford, that’s the sweetest thing you could ever say to me.” He enfolded her in his arms again before releasing her. “And I want to let you know that I’m not ready to go into the ministry now. I was pursuing it for the wrong reasons, and I want to stay here, with you, right here in Ocean City.” He kissed her and took her hand. “Do you think you can find a babysitter for Scotty tonight?”
“I’m pretty sure I can recruit somebody.”
He smiled. “Good, because I want to take you out to dinner. Be sure you’re wearing a nice dress. I’ll be by to pick you up at six o’clock.”
Monica continued to smile after John left, eagerly looking forward to their dinner that evening.
That night after Monica had changed into her favorite red dress and Scotty was happily eating popcorn and spending time with Gina, John picked her up. Though he appeared nervous, he was handsome in a very appealing dark gray suit with a royal blue necktie. As they drove to their destination, soft jazz music played from his stereo. He seemed very pre-occupied. Every time Monica said something to him, she had to repeat herself.
A short time later, they arrived at Fager’s Island Restaurant. The lighting in the fancy dining room was dim, and candles winked at the white-cloth-covered tables. A waiter approached and introduced himself. “Hi, my name is Alex, and I’ll be your waiter this evening.” He glanced at John for a few seconds before continuing. “Your table is right over here.”
Monica gasped when she noted the large floral display of bright red roses gracing their table. There was also a crystal bowl filled with cocktail sauce and large shrimp tapered at the sides. Shrimp cocktail was one of her favorite appetizers, and she was ecstatic that John had planned this wonderful night out to celebrate his decision to stay in Ocean City. Perhaps since he’d decided to stay, their relationship could deepen and turn into something permanent. “Do you like the flowers?” John asked softly.
Her heart pounded as she pulled him into a hug. “Yes, I love them. Thank you.”
They walked to the table, and he pulled her chair out for her. She was so excited that she didn’t think she could even eat the shrimp. John took her hand. “Before we start eating our appetizer—”
Alex approached carrying a bottle of sparkling cider and two wine glasses. “I’m so sorry. We forgot to leave this on the table as you requested.”
John waved the man away as if anxious for him to leave. After their waiter had taken his exit, John pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and pressed it into her hand. Monica opened the box and gasped, staring at the most exquisite diamond solitaire ring she’d ever seen.
“Monica, will you marry me?”
Tears slid down her cheeks as she clutched the box and stared into John’s warm brown eyes. “Yes, John, I will marry you.” He then leaned toward her and his mouth joined with hers.
As they kissed, she silently thanked the Lord for placing John French into her life.
Epilogue
Six months later
Monica smiled as she walked down the sandy shore of the predawn beach, her cream-colored wedding dress flowing like liquid satin. As the waves tumbled onto the shore, a gentle warm breeze caressed her skin. Her father squeezed her elbow as he marched beside her, murmuring words of encouragement on this important day.
The enchanting event was so unreal, and her happiness piled up in her so high she thought she would burst. As birds swooped from the sky, a woodwind quartet played “The Wedding March,” creating a sense of euphoria in the small crowd of wedding guests. Monica’s smile brightened further as she approached her wedding party.
Anna, Karen, and Gina made striking bridesmaids in their royal blue dresses. The silky material of their gowns billowed in the wind as they awaited Monica several feet ahead on the stretch of Ocean City beach.
Monica happily thought about the arrangements she’d made for Gina and Scotty. Since Monica was going to be living with her new husband, Gina had agreed to stay in Monica’s house and take over the house payments, eventually purchasing the house from her. Gina had been working for five months now, and she was attending church regularly. Monica was glad she was still going to be nearby if Gina needed help with raising Scotty.
Monica saw Anna glance at Dean Love periodically, and she was pleased that Anna appeared to have found the man of her dreams. Dean had recently proclaimed his love for Anna, and Monica hoped their relationship would lead to marriage.
John’s new friends from church wore tuxes as they stood opposite the bridesmaids. Scotty clutched his ring-bearer pillow, impatiently waiting for Monica. However, Monica thought John looked the finest of all. When she was finally standing in front of him, he kissed her before the wedding ceremony began.
Pastor Martin beamed at the couple as he performed the wedding service. After the short sermon was over, and their vows and rings had been exchanged, John kissed his bride again.
About the Author
Cecelia Dowdy is a world traveler who has been an avid reader for as long as she can remember. When she first read Christian fiction, she felt called to write for the genre. She loves to read, write, and bake desserts in her spare time. She also loves spending time with her husband and her toddler son. Currently she resides with her family in Maryland. You can visit Cecelia on her websites: www.ceceliadowdy.com and www.ceceliadowdy.blogspot.com.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my husband, Christopher.
I love you.
A note from the Author:
I love to hear from my readers! You may correspond with me by writing:
Cecelia Dowdy
Author Relations
PO Box 721
Uhrichsville, OH 44683
John's Quest (Truly Yours Digital Editions) Page 16
