I’m climbing the stairs when I hear my phone ring. I pull it from my pocket and see Kyler’s smiling face on the screen. I take a deep breath before I answer.
“Hey,” I say with as little emotion as I can.
“So, you’re just giving up, huh? No explanation, no discussion?” he grinds out.
“In case you forgot, I tried to explain, but you didn’t want to hear it so you no longer deserve it. You rushed off without even a backward glance,” I snap.
“Why do you now think you don’t owe me an explanation, Carson?” he asks, irritated.
“Doesn’t matter anymore,” I say with a little less irritation. It really does hurt. I just refuse to be that broken girl again.
“So, that’s it then? Just walking away before we even really get started?” he snaps.
“I’m not the one who walked away, Kyler. You did that. I chased you down the street, fell on the damn concrete, landed on my bad shoulder and you never once even looked back,” I reply calmly.
“What? Are you okay?” he asks with what sounds like true concern.
“I’m fine.” I pause. “But I can’t do this with you. I won’t start a relationship with someone who has zero trust in me. Trust is the base of any relationship and if it’s not there, the relationship will inevitably fail. I’m not setting myself up for heartbreak. I won’t do it,” I declare.
“I do trust you, but you have to admit that what I witnessed seemed anything but innocent,” he replies, still with aggravation in his voice.
“No, Kyler, you don’t,” I snap. “Okay, you want an explanation? I’ll give you one. During dinner, Chris told me that he hadn’t known until I came back to New Orleans whether or not he was supposed to be with me or not. He married Jenna and they had a family, but he always wondered in the back of his mind if it was me he should be with. He was telling me how he realized when I came back that his whole world was his wife and kids, and that he needed me to forgive him so he could let me go and they could move on and be happy a family. I told him I forgave them both because I know now that we weren’t meant to be together, and that I was over-the-moon happy with my life in Seattle. That I had a great man waiting at home for me, with a beautiful little girl who I love like my own.” I choke out the last part. I’m going to lose it soon, so I know I need to wrap up this conversation.
“He walked me out, hugged me goodbye, kissed my forehead and was leading me to the taxi because I’d had a little too much to drink. That’s when I saw you and all hell broke loose.” I bite out the last part. “There’s your explanation, Kyler. Now, I have some packing to do, so why don’t you text me when you want to discuss visitation. Please give Landry my love,” I finish.
“I’m sorry, Carson—” he apologizes quietly, but I cut him off.
“Me, too,” I reply gently and then hit End. I lay my forehead on the front door and close my eyes.
I put my phone on vibrate and stick it in my back pocket, making my way into the house. Kyler and Landry not being there makes it super-quiet. Heading toward the stairs, I stop when I see Kyler has put up pictures since I left for New Orleans. The frames we took from Lu’s house are up and there are also a couple of him, Landry, and me too. I pause at the one of me, Landry and Lu at the beach and run my fingers along the frame. I wonder if her absence will ever get easier. I miss her every day.
When I get to my room, I throw all the clothes in the closet onto the bed so I can start putting them in my suitcases. I realize how little I have here; clothes, shoes, a few personal belongings and toiletries. That’s it. I’ll leave the pictures, although they’re technically mine. Landry needs to see her mom every day, and having those pictures hanging in Kyler’s house is a big step for him. I know he’s still mad at Lu, and I can’t blame him. So for him to be the bigger person for his daughter’s sake makes me know in my heart that he is a wonderful father.
I drag the suitcases downstairs, one at a time because they weigh so damn much. My shoulder is throbbing and I know I will probably need to take pain medication tonight so I can sleep. Once I get my things into the bed of the truck, I walk back into the kitchen to leave my house key. I won’t need it anymore. I pull it off my key ring and lay it on the kitchen island. Taking a page from the pad on the front of the fridge, I write a quick note.
Please text me when you are ready to discuss visitation. Please have Landry FaceTime me before she goes to bed tonight. I miss her. Thank you. - C
I set the key on top of the note and make my way to the front door. I take one last look around, trying hard not to let the tears fall. I miss them so much already and I haven’t even left yet.
I get in my truck and head back toward my apartment; already feeling like a nap is in order.
On my drive home, I call Karen and let her know I’m back in Seattle and want to come sign the closing documents on my property as soon as they are ready. She informs me they are done, and I schedule an appointment with her to do the closing tomorrow morning.
I pull my suitcases from the back and haul them up to my apartment. Using one arm makes the task a little more time-consuming, but my shoulder is killing me. I’m afraid the fall at Clancy’s messed something up again. I’ll make an appointment to go see my doc about it if it doesn’t feel better in a few days. I put all my things in my tiny bedroom and head to the bathroom to find my pain medication. I take one from the bottle, toss it in my mouth and take a swig of water. Lying down on the bed and pulling the blanket up over me, I curl up and it doesn’t take long before I’m asleep.
A knock at my door wakes me. I pull my phone from the nightstand and look at the time. 6:00 p.m. Holy shit, I slept all day. I roll to my side to get up and wince at the pain still in my shoulder.
I holler “I’m coming” but then realize I only heard the one knock. I haven’t heard another one, and that was a few minutes ago. Maybe I’m hearing things. Turning to go back into my room to grab my phone, I stop when I hear something hit the ground in the kitchen. I look back toward the kitchen and freeze when I see Jerrod stand up from behind the island.
“How was your vacation?” he snaps, giving me a sinister smile.
I scream as loud as I can, hoping Will hears it, and make a run for my bedroom. I’m almost through the door when I feel his hand grip my arm and jerk me backwards, causing me to scream again, but this time in pain. The agony in my shoulder causes me to feel faint, but I can’t pass out or I know he’ll kill me. I have to fight.
Jerrod throws me to the ground and kicks me hard in the ribs. The pain shoots through my entire chest and I can’t breathe.
I try to drag myself away from him, but he grabs a handful of my hair and makes me stand. My legs try to pull up because standing up straight feels like I’m being stabbed, so I know he’s broken some ribs. I let my weight pull me back to the ground as I grab the arm holding onto my hair and dig my nails in as far as I can, ripping his skin as I pull down.
He rips his arm away and stumbles backwards, clenching his arm to his chest. “You’ll pay for that, bitch!” he screams at me. I wait until he gets close enough to try to grab me again and I kick his left knee as hard as I can, folding it backwards and sending him to the ground howling. I try to get to my feet again but my ribs aren’t allowing it. I start to crawl with one arm into my bedroom, but Jerrod grabs my leg before I get too far and pulls it out from under me. I feel him trying to drag himself up onto me, but I bring my other leg up and kick him in the face, throwing him just enough off-balance that I can pull myself away.
I take a shallow breath and see spots. I feel like I’m drowning and when I cough, I see why. It’s blood, and I know I have a punctured lung. I have to get to my phone. Pulling myself along as best I can, I know Jerrod is coming after me again because I can hear his grunts as he tries to get up.
Just as I reach the edge of the nightstand where my phone is, I remember the 9mm Baretta strapped to the back of my headboard. It’s been there since I moved into this apartment. I bought it right after
I moved here, but I’ve never had any reason to use it so I’d forgotten it was there. I put my hand on the mattress to pull myself up and scream out at the pain. I reach behind the headboard and yank the gun from its holster.
Before I even feel his hands, my body is in the air and flying backwards.
“You broke my leg, you fucking bitch. I’m going to kill you slowly now,” he roars, bringing his hand back to hit me.
With every ounce of strength I have left in me, I swing the gun around and pull the trigger several times. Jerrod’s body jolts but doesn’t stop before the hit he delivers to my face catches me hard and throws me backwards. When I hit the ground, the pain that shoots through my body is too much to take and the darkness comes instantly.
I can hear someone scrambling around but I can’t open my eyes. They’re too heavy. Please don’t let it be Jerrod, I silently pray. My brain is focused on one thing and that’s fighting back the moment Jerrod comes at me again. Why didn’t that bullet stop him? I saw it hit him in the chest. He barely even flinched.
“Carson!” I hear Kyler’s voice shout, but he sounds far away. “Let me through. That’s my girlfriend.”
“Sir, I’m sorry, but you have to stay back,” I hear a woman’s voice say.
“No no no no no.” I hear the pain in Kyler’s voice as he says it over and over again. “She can’t be dead. Please, you have to let me see her. CARSON!” Kyler roars.
“Sir, calm down. The young lady is over there.” She pauses and I assume she’s pointing toward me. “The assailant is under the sheet.” I hear her tone ease up when she realizes he thought the sheet-covered body was mine.
My mind races when I realize Jerrod is dead. I am safe. Landry is safe. I’m so very tired and knowing he is dead and we are safe makes me able to let go. As I feel myself going under once again, I feel Kyler’s breath on my face and hear his voice right next to my ear. “Please, don’t leave us…I’m so sorry, baby…please, come back to me. I love you, Carson,” he chokes out, his voice full of sadness.
I use every ounce of my strength to reply, “Love you, too.” He sobs my name before the darkness wraps around me once again.
Eighteen Months Later
When I wake to the sound of Landry’s giggles, I know it’s going to be a great day. Rolling over to an empty bed doesn’t surprise me. Kyler has always been an early riser and with today being my big day, I’m sure the giggling I hear is them in the kitchen making breakfast together.
Lying in bed, enjoying the thoughts of the beautiful life we have created together, I think back to what we’ve all been through in the past year and a half. It was a long recovery for us all. Landry was devastated when she found out I was in the hospital again, but Kyler brought her to see me as soon as my face was healed up enough. I hadn’t wanted her to be afraid, so we waited a little while before she came to the hospital. She is an amazing little girl and so much like her mother. Lulu would be so damn proud of her strength. I can’t believe that she will be 7 years old in just a few weeks. She’s growing up so fast.
It took Kyler and me a little while to fix things between us, but after almost losing me to Jerrod’s attack, Kyler did everything in his power to make sure I knew he was in it for the long haul. He insisted on taking care of me every step of my recovery. He showed me every single day how much I meant to him. With Jerrod being gone, there was nothing holding us back from living our lives normally. After I was released from the hospital, Kyler had been determined for me to live with him and Landry again, but I knew we weren’t ready for that and told him that repeatedly. I didn’t think he’d listened to my reasoning but when I was released from the hospital, he took me to a condo he’d bought that was just a few blocks from his house. He’d had all of my belongings moved to the condo while I was still in the hospital.
When I tried to argue with him about it, he oh-so-gently reminded me, with his mouth and other body parts that he gave in on me not living with him but that he was not arguing with me about the condo. He knows I don’t need his money, so to him it’s not like I’m taking advantage of him. We both have enough money to last a lifetime. I’d lived in the condo for about a year before I finally felt like we were ready to live together again. He sold the condo immediately so I couldn’t change my mind. Like I would.
Stopping only long enough to brush my teeth, I make my way down to the kitchen. I peek around the corner, and the sight of Kyler helping Landry flip a pancake warms my heart to the core. Part of the pancake lands on the stove and Landry giggles while Kyler tries to pick it back up with the spatula. He has so much patience with her.
I clear my throat and Kyler turns quickly, slinging batter onto the counter.
“Morning, beautiful.” He winks at me as he grabs a paper towel to clean up his mess.
“CC!” Landry screams, running to me and throwing her arms around my waist.
“Morning, sweet girl,” I sign to her. “What are you making with Daddy?”
“Pancake bacon strips,” she responds, and I give her a quizzical look.
She giggles again and Kyler says and signs, “She found the recipe and instructions on Pinterest.” He laughs.
Landry has become quite the little chef. She loves to cook with me, and she has helped me so much in the design and decorations for the restaurant.
“Let’s get to eating so we can get outta here,” Kyler says happily. “Busy day today.”
Today is my grand opening. It has been a long, hard road to get to this point, and I couldn’t be any more excited.
We all eat quickly and head off to our rooms to get ready for the day. I actually bought a dress for this occasion, which is amazing since I don’t wear dresses…like ever. I needed this day to be as special as possible. Landry’s dress is exactly like mine, just a different color. I pull her hair back into a braid and throw mine up into a messy ponytail. It’s a little windy today, and I don’t want to deal with our hair being crazy for all the pictures. Kyler is wearing dark denim jeans and a button-up white shirt and blue tie. He looks so handsome.
The drive to the restaurant is slow, probably because I’m nervous as hell. Kyler pulled some strings with a PR firm and made sure several newspapers would be covering my grand opening. I don’t know how I’d have made it through all of this without his help and guidance.
We park near the front and head toward the group that is already gathering. Friends, co-workers, Pops, and Kyler’s mom Victoria are all here, ready for my big day. Everyone congratulates me and express their excitement to see the inside. Nobody has seen it but the design crew and us. It literally makes my eyes fill with tears every time I step through the front door. I can’t believe it’s mine.
The opening is a huge success and by the time everyone is starting to leave, I’m exhausted. Pops had asked a few days ago if he could take Landry home with him after the opening for a sleepover, and she is so excited to go.
Just as we are wrapping everything up, Kyler comes up behind me, putting his arms around my waist and leaning into me.
“I need you to come with me, beautiful,” he whispers in my ear.
“I just have a few more things to get shut down and then we can go, baby.” I giggle. I know he’s excited to get home since we will have the house to ourselves.
“Let Will handle this stuff. I need you to come take a walk with me,” he says and nods at Will.
“Go with your man, girl. I got this.” Will winks at me and smiles big.
Kyler grabs my hand and leads me out onto the back veranda. The sun is just starting to set in the distance, and the sky is absolutely beautiful. I understand now why he wanted to come out here. It’s breathtaking.
We walk down to the shore, hand-in-hand, in silence. When we get near the water, Kyler stops and takes his shoes off, then reaches over and slides mine off, as well. The water is super-cold, but I don’t mind. I love feeling the sand between my toes. I know I’ve told him on many occasions that it’s one of the reasons I wanted my restaurant to be nea
r the shore. Walking on the beach barefoot is one of the most relaxing things in the world to me.
We walk along the shore a little ways before Kyler stops where there is a perfect view of the lighthouse. He turns me to him and grabs my face, kissing me gently.
“Carson, since the moment I saw you in the Friedmont, I knew I wanted to get to know you. You are so beautiful, and loving, and real. I know our time together has not been easy and we’ve been through a lot as individuals and together, but I seem to fall more and more in love with you every second we are together. You are an amazing mother to Landry. I love watching you interact with her. She loves you as much as I do.” I feel a tiny hand touching mine and I look down to see Landry, holding my hand and smiling so big. I turn to see how she got here and realize Pops and Victoria are standing not far from us. Turning back to Kyler in confusion, my heart stops when I find him on his knee in front of me, holding a black box in one hand and my left hand in his other.
“Carson Miriam Breaux, we love you and want you to be ours forever. Will you marry us?” he asks, tears filling his eyes.
I look at Landry, who still has a huge smile on her. I turn back toward Kyler then pull my hand away, never breaking eye contact with him. I sign, “Yes” for Landry and say, “You bet your sweet ass I will,” to Kyler.
Landry shrieks and Kyler jumps up, pulling me into his arms. He swings me around until I just know we are going to fall in the wet sand. He sets me down, grabs my hand and places the most beautiful vintage engagement ring I’ve ever seen on my left ring finger.
There is only one thing that could make this day even more perfect, and I know this is the best time to tell them my news.
“Kyler, Landry,” I say as I grab each of their hands. “I have a little surprise for y’all, as well.”
Kyler looks at me quizzically for a split second but then smiles and smirks. I had a feeling he’d figured it out already and that smirk just confirms it. I wink at him and he nods. It’s not like we were trying to prevent it.
Raising Landry Page 22
