“We could stop right now,” he said.
Would he really? If she told him that she had changed her mind, that she was scared, he wouldn’t be upset?
But she wouldn’t get scared. Not about sex of all things. “I don’t want to stop.”
He ran the backs of his fingers slowly down her stomach to the edge of her shorts, and her skin quivered under his touch. One part of her was saying, don’t stop there, while another said, what do you think you’re doing, pal? We’re friends. You aren’t supposed to touch me this way.
“As long as we don’t consummate the marriage,” Nick said, tugging the snap open on her shorts, “we can still have it annulled.”
She wasn’t sure if he was serious or teasing her. What if he was serious? What would his family think? How would she explain that they’d gone through all that trouble planning a wedding for a marriage that lasted twenty-four hours?
“Terri?” he said, sounding unsure, his hands dropping away.
She turned, arms folded across her breasts. “What if I said I want to stop? That I thought we were making a mistake?”
He blinked, his expression a mix of confusion and surprise. “You’re serious?”
She nodded.
He was quiet for several seconds, then said, “If you really don’t want to do this, we won’t.”
“After everything we’ve been through the past couple weeks, you wouldn’t be mad?”
“I would be disappointed, but our friendship comes first, always.”
She could see that they weren’t just words. He meant it. She wasn’t just another woman he was sleeping with, or a convenient way to make ten million dollars. He really cared about her feelings. And she knew that. The truth was, this had nothing to do with him. This was about her insecurities.
When it came to relationships, love—or what she perceived love to be—always managed to elude her. And while sex, if she was lucky, was usually fun, she’d never felt the intense emotional connection that she was experiencing right now, with Nick. The need to be closer to him. She never needed anyone, and it scared her half to death. What if he let her down?
But this was Nick, the most important person in her life. The man she had barely gone a day or two without speaking with in the past two decades. He would not let her down. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. And she refused to ruin what could very well be one of the most significant days in her entire life, just because she had intimacy issues. It was time she grew up, and let go of the past. Time she really trusted someone.
“Do you want to stop?” he asked. “We can.”
“No. I don’t want to stop.”
He eyed her warily. “You’re sure. Because once we get started, there’s really no going back.”
“I want this,” she said, and she really did, even though she was scared. “I want you.”
She dropped her arms, baring herself to him, and the hunger in his eyes as he raked his gaze over her made her heart beat faster.
“You had me worried there for a minute,” he said. “Although I have to admit, I sort of like you this way.”
“What way?”
“Not so confident. A little vulnerable.”
Weirdly enough, she sort of liked it, too. She liked the idea of letting someone else take care of her for a change. Within reason, of course. She didn’t want him getting the idea that she was a complete pushover.
She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him, then whispered in his ear, “Lay down.”
“Now that’s the Terri I know,” he said with a grin, climbing into bed, watching as she shoved down her shorts and got in with him, straddling his thighs.
“You’re so beautiful.” He reached up, cupped her breasts in his palms, watched her nipples pull into tight points as he circled them with his thumbs. “I want to take my time, touch and kiss every inch of your body.”
She smiled. “Well, if you have to…”
He pulled her against him, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her…and kissed her, disarming her with the rhythm of his tongue, his hands sliding across her skin, kissing and stroking away the last of her reservations, until she couldn’t recall why she’d been afraid in the first place. And the more she responded, the bolder his explorations became. Still, she could tell he was taking his time, trying not to push too hard or too fast.
She just wanted to touch him—wanted him—and as close as he held her, as intimately as he touched her, it wasn’t enough. She ached for something, but she wasn’t sure what. She just knew she needed more. And though she preferred to have the upper hand, when Nick took control, rolling her over onto her back, she let him. Being so tall, logistics in bed could sometimes be a problem for her, but as he settled between her thighs, she and Nick were an ideal fit.
“That’s better,” he said, his weight pressing her into the mattress.
This was it, she thought, knowing that she would remember this moment for the rest of her life—the exact second when, with one slow deep thrust, they went from being friends to lovers.
She gazed down between them, to where their bodies were joined, thinking it was the most arousing, erotic thing she had ever seen. “Nick, we’re making love,” she said. “You’re inside me.”
He followed her gaze, transfixed for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, started to move inside her.
She really thought she’d been prepared for this, that because they were friends, she could maintain a level of detachment, or objectivity. That it would be “fun” without those pesky feelings of affection to muddy things up. Boy, had she been wrong.
This wasn’t supposed to change things, but deep down she knew they would never be quite the same.
“Deeper,” she said. “You have to be deeper.”
“I can’t,” he said, thrusting slow and steady, his shoulders tense, his eyes closed in concentration. “I’ll lose it.”
As it was, she was barely hanging on, and they needed to do this together, and not just so they would have a boy. She…needed it. “Nick, look at me.”
He opened his eyes and looked down at her. The instant their eyes met, she was toast, and apparently so was he. With a growl, Nick grabbed her legs and hooked them over his shoulders, bending her in half, groaning as he thrust hard and deep, and her body went electric. It was shock and pleasure and perfection, and watching Nick’s face, seeing him lose control, reaching their peak together, was the single most erotic experience of her life.
Afterward, Nick dropped his head against her shoulder, his forehead damp with perspiration. He was breathing hard. “Wow.”
No kidding.
Nick eased her legs off his shoulders and she winced as her muscles, mostly the ones in her butt, screamed in protest. She stretched out her legs and her left cheek started to cramp up. She winced and said, “Ow! Charley horse!”
“Where?” Nick said, rolling off her.
“Left butt cheek.”
“Turn over,” he said, and when she did, he straddled her thighs and rubbed the knotted muscle, using his thumbs to really work it loose. “Better?”
“Hmm…that feels good,” she said, as the pain subsided. She folded her arms around the pillow and tucked it under her head. “I’m going to have a talk with my personal trainer. All those hours spent in the gym, and I’m not nearly as flexible as I should be.”
“I guess we’ll just have to work on that,” he said.
She sighed and closed her eyes. Though she was typically the one doing the pampering after sex, it was nice to be spoiled a little. Only problem was, she was getting a little too relaxed, to the point that her body was shutting down.
“Hey,” Nick said. “I hope you’re not falling asleep.”
“Nope,” she lied as the world started to go soft and fuzzy around her.
“We’re not finished.” He gave her a gentle shake. “Wake up.”
“I’m awake,” she mumbled, or at least she thought she did. It didn’t matter because it was
already too late. She gave in to the fatigue and drifted off to sleep.
Eight
Nick gave Terri a poke, then a harder poke, but it was useless. She was out cold.
He sighed. Wasn’t it the guy who was supposed to roll over and fall asleep after sex? His plan had been for them to spend the entire day in bed, trying out many different positions. But he supposed he should be happy that they’d had sex at all.
It was a little difficult to reconcile the Terri from two weeks ago, who propositioned him in his kitchen, and the one who froze up today when he touched her. He wasn’t sure what had happened, why she had suddenly gotten cold feet. At first he thought she was teasing him, playing coy, until he saw her face, then the metaphorical ball came out of left field and smacked him right between the eyes.
Was it something he did? Something he said? Did he hurt her feelings? Or was it something he’d had no control over whatsoever?
Damned if he knew.
She was ovulating, so her hormones were probably out of whack, and he knew from growing up in a house with three females, a hormonal woman could be unpredictable—and at times downright scary. But weren’t ovulating women supposed to want sex more, not less?
Or was it possible that she didn’t find him as appealing as she said she did? Was she so desperate to get pregnant, she would have told him anything?
Nah, that definitely wasn’t it, because when they did finally get the ball rolling, it had been pretty freaking amazing. To put his hands all over that lithe, lean body, to feel those incredible legs wrapped around his waist. Over his shoulders.
Damn.
Even so, when he looked at her now, lying there, naked and gorgeous, she was still just Terri, his best friend. And other than wanting to put his hands all over her again, he couldn’t say that he felt any differently about her now than he had yesterday. Which was exactly how he’d expected to feel.
He assumed, since she would be ovulating for at least a few more days, there was no reason they couldn’t have fun until then, or better yet, for the duration of their honeymoon. But he knew that when they returned to Chicago, they would go back to their previous platonic status. The truth was, they hadn’t really talked about it. And that had probably been a mistake. But everything had happened in such a rush, they really hadn’t had time.
Terri mumbled something in her sleep, then rolled over onto her side, curling up in a ball, as if she were chilled, so he tugged the covers up over her. As long as he’d known her she’d talked in her sleep. There were times, when they lived together, when he would pass by her room at night and hear her babbling incoherently. He would sometimes stop and listen, catch a random word here or there, but it usually didn’t make any sense. If she seemed distressed, as if she were having a nightmare, which had happened often, he would push open her door a crack and peek in on her, just to make sure she was okay.
Sometimes he would hear her say his name, wondering what role he played in her dream. There were even times when he imagined crawling into bed with her. How would she react if he did? He never would have done it, though. She wanted the fairy-tale happy ending. A thing he could never give her, and after all the heartache in her life, she deserved to get exactly what she wanted. Even now he hated that she’d had to settle, that he couldn’t give her everything her heart desired. But he just wasn’t wired that way. Anyone he dated knew that from the start, although that didn’t necessarily stop them from believing that they were different, that they would be the one he fell hopelessly in love with.
But Terri knew better. Didn’t she?
He was sure she did. They had agreed this situation would be temporary. So why her mixed feelings today? Maybe it would be in everyone’s best interest if they had a serious talk about the situation, and set some boundaries to prevent any future confusion. Just in case.
Nick’s stomach growled, and he considered ringing for room service, but then he looked at the empty space beside Terri—and the cool sheets and fluffy pillows called out to him. She had said she wanted him well rested, hadn’t she?
He stretched out beside her, his eyes feeling heavy the second his head hit the pillow. He rolled over on his side, draping an arm across her hip, wondering, as he drifted off to sleep, if it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Or would she have a change of heart again?
He got his answer when he woke from what he’d thought was an erotic dream. He opened his eyes, looked down at his crotch, and saw the top of Terri’s head.
* * *
“I’m toast,” Terri said.
She dropped face-first onto the sheets, sweaty and out of breath, and Nick fell on top of her, his weight crushing her against the mattress, making it hard to breathe. She was too exhausted to protest. They had been going at it, on and off, for three hours now, and she was ready for a break.
“Do you feel pregnant yet?” he asked, his voice muffled against her hair, which she was sure was probably a knotted mess.
“I think it takes a couple weeks for that part,” she said. If she hadn’t conceived the first three times they’d made love, she was pretty sure this last time would have done it. Their position, while slightly awkward at first, gave a whole new meaning to the phrase deep penetration. Plus, her thighs had gotten one hell of a workout.
She shifted under his weight, feeling light-headed from lack of oxygen. Gathering all her strength, she elbowed him in the ribs. “Hey, you’re squishing me.”
“Sorry,” he said, rolling onto his back. “So, what do you want to do now?”
“Sleep?”
He looked over at her. “Again?”
Or not. “I don’t know. What do people usually do on their honeymoon?”
He looked over at her and grinned, wiggling his eyebrows.
Good heavens, the man had stamina.
“Something besides intercourse,” she said.
He thought about it for a minute, then said, “Oral sex?”
“Funny,” she said giving him a playful poke, and he grinned.
“We could sit in the sand and watch the sunset,” he said. “I hear they can be pretty spectacular.”
“Which I suppose would necessitate me getting up and putting clothes on.”
“Personally, I wouldn’t mind if you went out there like this, but the other guests might object.” He leaned over and kissed her shoulder. “If I could bring the sunset to you, I would.”
Wow, that was probably one of the sweetest, most romantic things a man had ever said to her. She smiled and said, “I appreciate the thought.”
“Come on,” he said, giving her butt a playful smack as he rolled out of bed. “Get up.”
She forced herself to stand and walk on jelly legs to the bathroom. It seemed strange that just this morning she’d been uncomfortable with him seeing her naked, and now it seemed perfectly natural. Not only had he seen it all, but there wasn’t an inch that he hadn’t touched in one way or another. When he told her that he thought sex should be fun, he wasn’t kidding. And boy was he good at it. He seemed to take pleasure from giving pleasure, which she knew was rare.
She stepped into the bathroom and cringed at her reflection in the mirror. “I look like a beast. I need to do something with my hair.”
He appeared in the doorway dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. “Yikes! You do look like a beast.”
She glared at him.
“Kidding,” he said, flashing her that disarming grin and planting a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll meet you out there.”
She wrestled a brush through the knots in her hair and brought it back into a ponytail. Not great, but it would suffice. She pulled a light sundress out of her bag and slipped it on, then stepped outside.
The air felt cooler. A gentle breeze rustled the the palm trees, their branches swaying in time like a tropical nature dance. And Nick was right about the sunset. Red-and-orange streaks above the horizon gave the illusion that the sky was on fire.
Nick was on a blanket in the sand a few yards from the wa
ter. He sat with his knees bent, his arms wrapped around them. She walked over and sat down beside him.
He smiled at her, nodding to the sky. “Nice, huh?”
“Beautiful.”
He leaned back and looped an arm around her, and she rested her head against his shoulder. It felt…comfortable. She wondered if it would be okay to do this after they went home to Chicago, or if any sort of physical contact would be off limits.
“So,” he said. “About earlier today…”
She cringed. It was embarrassing, really, the way she’d acted. And she still wasn’t quite sure why. “Can we just forget about that?”
“I wanted to be sure that everything is okay now.”
“It is, I promise.” That should have been obvious the minute she woke him up from his nap, which was exactly why she’d done it. Well, that and he’d looked really good laying there naked.
“You were pretty freaked out,” he said.
So apparently they were going to talk about it. “I know. I thought I had worked it all out in my head, but then you asked if I was ready to make a baby, and I guess I thought, I don’t know, am I? It’s a huge step. My entire life will change.”
“And you were worried about it changing our relationship.” It was a statement, not a question.
“That, too.”
“Do you think it has?”
“Sort of. But not in a bad way.”
“We never really talked about what will happen after the honeymoon.”
Which she took to mean that they should talk about it now. “I just assumed we would go back to the way things were. Aside from the fact that we’ll be living together, I mean. And, of course, your family will have to believe that we’re…you know…together.”
“So, no sex after the honeymoon?”
Was that disappointment she heard in his voice? Did he want to keep having sex? Or was she just imagining what she wanted to hear? Because she liked sleeping with him. Liked it too much for either of their own good.
“I think that would be best,” she said. “Under the circumstances, an intimate relationship could get complicated. Don’t you think? I know you don’t want to settle down.”
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