As long as he didn’t mind her potentially burning down the building. “Sure. It’ll be ready when you’re done.”
“Unless you’d like to join me,” he said, wiggling his brows.
“I thought you were hungover.”
“Not that hungover.”
She couldn’t help but laugh, and wonder if there would ever be a time before the divorce when he would stop coming on to her. Or a time when she stopped wanting to say yes. “Well, the answer is no.”
He shrugged. “Thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.”
He rolled out of bed, deliciously naked, and walked to the bathroom. Terri watched him, trying her best not to drool, noting that he’d left the door wide-open.
It was a good thing he didn’t realize how little persuasion it would take to change her mind, or she would be joining him.
She heard the shower turn on and before she could even be tempted, or think how good he looked naked and soapy, how his body felt all slippery and warm against hers, she hightailed it to the kitchen, stopping to see if Jess and Mags were hungry.
“I can barely choke down saltines,” Jess said. “But thanks.”
“I’ll pass, too,” Maggie said. “I need to get home soon, anyway.”
“Let me know if you change your minds.”
In the kitchen she opened the door to the walk-in pantry, which was remarkably well organized for a man who used to leave his canned goods in the bag on the kitchen table for days after a trip to the store.
There was an entire shelf dedicated to a dozen brands and types of soup, but she didn’t have a clue what he would prefer. Under normal circumstances he liked tomato, but she wondered if that might upset his stomach.
Crap. That meant she would have to go ask him. She would stand outside the bathroom and shout to him, so she wouldn’t have to see him through the clear glass shower doors. It would just be easier that way.
That was exactly what she did, and Nick did in fact want tomato, but as she started to walk away, he called, “Hey, Terri, would you grab a washcloth from the cabinet for me?”
Crap.
“Okay,” she called. She planned to just throw it over the top of the shower door and run, but before she could, Nick swung open the door. Of course he was wet and soapy, and sexy as hell.
She held out the cloth to him, but he grabbed her wrist instead, tugging her, fully clothed, into the shower and under the hot spray.
“Nick!” she shrieked, trying to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go.
“Well, gosh,” he said as water saturated her sweatshirt and jeans, her hair. “Looks like now you need a shower.”
Water leaked out of her hair and into her eyes and her wet clothes were weighing her down. She wanted to be mad, wanted to feel like slugging him, but all she could manage was a laugh.
His hand slid down to cup her behind and he wedged one thigh intimately between hers. A moan slipped out and her head tilted against the tile, giving Nick access to her throat, which he promptly began to devour.
She should be telling him no right now, but damn it, she didn’t want to. Instead, she said, “This is it,” as he kissed his way upward, nibbling the shell of her ear. “This is the last time.”
He pulled back, eyes black with desire. “Take off your clothes.”
* * *
Terri pushed her cart through the produce section of the grocery store, dropping in the items on the list Nick had put together last night for her. When she lived alone, she did the majority of her shopping in the frozen food section, so the gourmet meals Nick had been making every night were pretty cool. They also made up for the fact that, although he’d improved a lot, Nick hadn’t quite lost all his slob tendencies. He often left newspapers or magazines on the coffee table, or dirty clothes on the bedroom floor, and he never seemed to clean up after himself after using the bathroom in the morning.
But those things didn’t bother her nearly as much as they used to. She’d been living alone for a long time now. She had worried that having someone there, having to share her space, would feel suffocating. She also thought she would miss her condo, but that wasn’t the case at all. Now that Jess was back home trying again to work out things with Eddie, and Terri had the guest room to herself, she missed sleeping with Nick. And not just the sex, which they agreed would stop the day she moved out of his bedroom.
She’d grown awfully fond of cuddling, and she missed lying in bed with him and just talking. There were so many little things that she realized she’d taken for granted. And she was starting to get the feeling that she and Nick just being roommates might not cut it anymore. Maybe she wanted more than that.
But then she always reminded herself that despite what she wanted, Nick was perfectly content with his life just the way it was. He didn’t want to be tied down. And whatever happened with the baby, she knew that in time she would be okay with that. Knowing he was her best friend, and always would be, would be enough for her.
She hoped.
Right now, though, as the date approached when she could take a pregnancy test, she became more and more obsessed about it. She was ultra aware of any changes in her body, any signs of pregnancy. She would check her reflection to see if she was glowing, poke her breasts to see if they were tender. She even started eating foods that she’d read could aggravate morning sickness to encourage signs of pregnancy, but so far, nothing. She tried not to let it discourage her, but she was nervous. Suppose it didn’t work this month, or the next, or the next? What if she discovered that she couldn’t get pregnant?
Every time her thoughts started to wander in that direction, she forced herself to stay positive. Even if the first try was unsuccessful, it didn’t mean the second would be, too. She just had to be patient.
On her way to the dairy section, Terri passed the aisle with the feminine products, and took a detour. Though she had to wait until after her period was late to test, it couldn’t hurt to buy it a few days early.
She grabbed the most expensive one—thinking it would be the most accurate—and read the back, both stunned and excited to see that the test could be performed as soon as four days before her period was due, which coincidentally was today.
Heart jumping in her chest, she tossed the box in the cart. She hurried through the rest of her shopping and paid for her groceries, so nervous and excited she barely recalled the drive home. She forced herself to wait until she got all the groceries upstairs and put away, then she opened the box and pulled out the instruction leaflet.
Her excitement fizzled when she read the line that said to take it with the first urine of the day, which she had flushed away almost ten hours ago. Damn. If she wanted an accurate reading, she had no choice but to wait until tomorrow morning.
She stuck the test in the cabinet in her bathroom and tried to forget about it, but failed miserably.
Later that night, after the tenth time of not hearing Nick ask her a question or make a comment about the movie that she wasn’t really watching, he seemed to realize something was up.
“Is everything okay?” he said. “It’s like you’re here, but you’re not really here.”
At least if she told him, she wouldn’t be the only one crawling out of her skin. “When I was at the grocery store today, I went down the feminine products aisle.”
He frowned. “Is this something I really want to know about?”
She rolled her eyes. “The pregnancy test aisle, Nick.”
“I thought we had to wait until your period was due to test.”
“So did I, but the directions said you can take the test as early as four days before your period is due.”
“When is that?”
“Today. But it was too late in the day, so I can’t test until tomorrow morning.”
“How early?” he asked, and it was hard to tell if he was excited, or nervous, or really didn’t give a crap. His face gave nothing away.
“As soon as I wake up.”
He pulled his phone from his poc
ket and started to fiddle with it.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m setting my alarm for tomorrow morning.”
“For what time?”
He looked at her and grinned. “Five.”
Twelve
Nick paced outside the bathroom door, like an expectant father waiting for news on the birth of his child, not the result of a pregnancy test. And what was taking so long? Weren’t they supposed to give results in minutes?
The door opened and Terri stepped out, still in her pajamas.
“Well?” he said.
“It’s still marinating. I just couldn’t stand there watching it.”
“How much longer?”
She looked at her watch. “Three minutes.”
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’ll be positive.”
“You realize that if it is, that’s it. For the rest of your life, it will no longer be about you, you’ll always have this person depending on you.”
Hadn’t they been over this before? Why did he get the feeling she was trying to scare him? Or maybe she was the one who was scared. She had to carry the baby for nine months. The one making the most sacrifices. “I’m ready,” he assured her. “And I’m here for you. For whatever you need. No matter what the results are.”
“Meaning, if it’s negative, you still want to try again?”
“Terri, I’m in this for the long haul.”
“For the money.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little late in the game to be questioning my motives?”
She sighed. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I guess I’m just nervous.”
“We’re in this together. If you don’t trust me—”
“I do. I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe I’m hormonal.”
She looked at her watch again and said, “It’s time.”
Here we go.
She took a step into the bathroom, then stopped. “I can’t do it. I’m too nervous. You look at it.”
“What am I looking for?”
“A plus sign is positive, a minus sign negative.”
“Okay, here goes.” He stepped into the bathroom and picked up the little stick off the counter. He turned it over and looked in the indicator window for a plus sign…
Damn.
“Well?” she asked hopefully from the doorway.
Damn, damn, damn.
He looked up at her and shook his head, watched her face fall. “Are you sure you did it right?”
“Yes, I’m sure. It’s not as if it’s the only one I’ve ever taken.”
That surprised him. “Really?”
She nodded. “I had a few scares in college.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What difference does it make?” she snapped, and he realized he was being insensitive.
“I’m sorry. Come here.” He held out his arms and she walked into them, laying her head against his chest. “Is there anything I can do?”
She shook her head. “The directions do say that I could get a false negative taking the test this early. They say to try again the day my period is due.”
“So, you could still be pregnant?”
“There’s only a twelve percent chance, so more than likely, I’m not.”
“Twelve percent is better than zero percent. You’ll test again Tuesday and then we’ll know for sure.”
Nick tried to keep a positive attitude all day, tried to keep Terri’s mind off anything having to do with pregnancy or babies, did everything he could think of to cheer her up. He made her favorite dinner, but she only picked at it. Then he suggested they rent the chick flick she’d been bugging him about, but she looked so lost in thought, she probably hadn’t absorbed the plot.
They said good-night at eleven, and it was almost midnight when Terri appeared in Nick’s bedroom doorway. “Nick? Are you awake?” she whispered.
He sat up. “Yeah. Are you okay?”
She took a few steps into the room. “Can’t sleep. Would it be okay, just for tonight, if I sleep with you? And I mean, actually sleep, not—”
“I get it.” He pulled back the covers on the opposite side of the bed. “Hop in.”
She climbed in beside him and he laid back down, facing her.
“Sorry about this,” she said, shivering and burrowing under the covers. It did seem particularly cold, which meant she had probably been messing with the thermostat again. At her condo, she kept her thermostat at a balmy sixty-three degrees. He could swear she’d been an eskimo in a past life. Or a reptile.
“Don’t apologize. I like sleeping with you.”
“For years I’ve managed to fall asleep just fine on my own,” she said, sounding disgusted with herself.
“It’s been a rough couple of days. You don’t have to go through everything alone. We’re in this together, remember?”
“For now, but there could come a time when you’re not around, and I have to be able to stand on my own two feet.”
“Where is it you think I’m going?”
“Like my aunt used to tell me, if you don’t let yourself depend on people, they can’t let you down.”
Nick could hardly believe she’d just said that, that she would even think it. He knew she had trust issues but if she really believed that, her insecurities ran much deeper that he had ever imagined.
“Have I ever let you down?”
“No.”
Why did he get the feeling there was an unspoken “not yet” tacked to the end of that sentence? “So, who? Your parents? I really don’t imagine they wanted to die.”
“No, but they did.”
He sighed. “Terri—”
“I’m not wallowing in self-pity or looking for sympathy. It just is what it is. You never know what might happen, so it’s important to be self-sufficient. That’s all I’m saying.”
“‘’Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all,’” he said.
“And after you lose someone, see if you still believe that.”
She said it not as if it were a possibility, but a predestined event. He didn’t even know how to respond to that, what he could say to change her mind. If it was even possible to change it. But the real question, the thing he needed to decide first was, did he want to?
* * *
Unfortunately, they never needed that second pregnancy test. Terri started her period Monday morning. As long as he’d known her, he’d seen her cry maybe four or five times total, but when she called him that morning at work to tell him the bad news, she was beside herself.
“Do you want me to come home?”
“No,” she said with a sniff, her voice unsteady. “I’m being stupid. I knew this would happen, but I guess I was still hoping. I shouldn’t be this upset.”
“It’s okay to be upset. I’m disappointed, too. But we try again in a couple weeks, right?”
“You’re sure you want to do that?”
“Of course I’m sure.” He’d only told her that a dozen times since Saturday morning. Was she really worried that he would back out, or was she the one having second thoughts? “But you realize that means being stuck living with me for an extra month. Think you can handle that?”
“Well,” she said, her tone lighter, “you are pretty high maintenance.”
He laughed, because they both knew that couldn’t be farther from the truth. “So, when does act two start?”
“I haven’t figured that out yet. I’ll do that later today.”
“What sounds good for dinner? I’ll make or pick up anything you want.”
She paused for a second, then said, “Pizza. From the little Italian place around the corner. With ham, mushrooms and little hairy fish.”
“Pizza it is,” he said. He heard a knock and looked up to see his dad standing in the open doorway, and he didn’t look happy. Nick’s gut reaction was to immediately wonder what he’d done this time, but that was just a holdover from his childhood. He didn’t answer to hi
s father anymore, and sometimes he still forgot that, still got that sinking feeling when he walked into the room. “Terri, I have to let you go.”
“Okay. I…I love you.”
“I love you, too. I’ll see you around seven.” He hung up and looked over at his dad. “What’s up?”
“Sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you.”
“Come in.”
He stepped inside and shut the door behind him, which was probably not a good sign.
He took a seat across from Nick, his brow furrowed, far from the happy-go-lucky facade he wore most of the time. Even if he were smiling now, it would have no bearing on what he’d be doing five minutes from now. He had a hair-trigger temper and could turn on a dime.
“I’ve noticed something lately,” he said. “And I thought maybe you knew what was going on. That Tony and Rob may have mentioned something.”
“About what?”
“Your Uncle Tony and Uncle Demitrio.”
“No, they haven’t said anything. Why? Is something wrong?”
“All I know is that something feels…off. They hardly talk anymore, and when they do, it’s obvious there’s tension. I asked them both individually but they swear nothing is wrong.”
Nick debated telling him what Terri had seen at Nonno’s house, but it didn’t seem fair to drag her into this. “I don’t know, Dad. Have you talked to Rob or Tony?”
“You’re close with them. I thought it would be better if you did.”
Nick sighed. Unlike most of the rest of the family, Nick had no burning desire to stick his nose into someone else’s business. “No offense, but if there is something going on, I don’t want to be in the middle of it.”
“I’m not asking for much,” he said sharply.
“Maybe they told you everything is fine because they feel like, whatever is going on, it’s none of your business.”
“If it starts to affect this company it is.”
“You’re the CPA. Is it affecting the company?”
“Not yet, but—”
“Instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe you should just ride it out for a week or two and see what happens. Nonni used to tell us that when you and Tony and Demitrio were kids, you had fights all the time.”
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