“Dinner?”
“You don’t want to fix something?” He’d been making her watch him cook every night, yet she hadn’t tested out what she’d been learning.
“Would you prefer a microwave frozen dinner, or burnt grilled cheese and tomato soup?”
“Fine, I’ll pick up dinner. Thai okay?”
“Sounds delicious.”
She kissed him goodbye. What shouldn’t have been more that a quick peck, lingered. Then her arms went around his neck and her tongue was in his mouth, as one of her legs slid between his.
“Hey!” he said, pulling away. “That was an illegal move, lady. Two more days.”
She flashed him a wicked smile. “Just keeping you on your toes.”
He opened the door to leave, looking at their pathetic excuse for a tree. “Are you sure you don’t mind having this tiny fake thing? You always get a real tree.”
“So we’ll get a real one next year,” she said. “Drive safe.”
Nick was in the elevator, on his way down to his car before Terri’s words finally sank in.
So we’ll get a real one next year….
Did that mean she was planning on them having a next year? That she thought they would still be married? Did she want to stay married? He’d been considering bringing up the subject, just to test the waters, but he hadn’t yet figured out what he wanted to say. Was this it, handed to him on a silver platter?
And now that he knew she was thinking about it, too, how did he feel?
Nick got in his car and sat there for several minutes, thinking about what it would mean to both of them to make this a real marriage. To spend the rest of their lives together.
That was a really long time.
He drove to his mom’s condo on autopilot, but as he turned the wheel to park in the driveway, he saw it was already occupied. By his dad’s car.
Aw, hell, this couldn’t be good.
Hackles up, Nick hopped out of his Mercedes and jogged through an inch of fresh snow to the door. He rang the bell, and when she didn’t answer, he knocked briskly. Still no answer.
This was really not good.
He used his key and opened the door. He stepped inside, expecting to hear shouting, or furniture crashing. Instead, he heard the faint sound of a radio playing a classic rock song—which his mother favored—then a muffled moan of pain, all coming from the back of the condo.
Oh, hell, they’ve gone and done it now, he thought, picturing one of them with an actual hatchet in their back. Or possibly missing a limb or, God forbid, some other protruding part.
He rushed down the hall, tracking snow all the way. Realizing the noise was coming from his mom’s bedroom, he burst through the partially closed door. And when he got an eyeful of his dad’s bare rear end, he realized that no one was feeling any pain. At least, nothing they didn’t want to feel.
Nick cursed and covered his eyes, realizing that he’d just walked in on every child’s worst nightmare—his parents in bed doing it.
He heard the rustle of the covers and then his mom said, “Nick, what on earth are you doing here?”
He dared move his hand, relieved to find that they had covered themselves, and were in a less compromising position.
“What am I doing here? What is he doing here? And why in God’s name were you…” He couldn’t even say the words. He knew the memory of the whole gruesome scene would be eternally burned in his memory, and would haunt him until the day he died. “What the hell is going on?”
“What do you think is going on?” his mom asked, sounding infuriatingly reasonable. “We’re having sex.”
Ugh, it was bad enough to see it, but to have verbal confirmation was just too much. “You can’t do this.”
“Obviously, we can,” his dad said, looking amused.
“Nicky, we’re two single, consenting adults. We can do whatever we want. Within the boundaries of the law,” she said, giving Nick’s dad a wink.
Nick sniffed, catching just a hint of something that had been burning…. “What the… Have you been smoking marijuana?”
“Like you never have,” his mom said. “Besides, it’s medicinal, for your father’s back.”
The nightmare just kept getting worse. “You hate each other.”
“We’ve certainly had our differences, I won’t deny that, but we don’t hate each other. And though we may have had a bad marriage, we had a good sex life.”
He always knew that his mom’s mother-earth, hippie-child attitude would come back to bite him. And speaking of that, were those teeth marks on his dad’s left biceps…?
He closed his eyes, wishing the vision away.
“Why don’t you put on the kettle for tea,” his mother said. “We’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“Sure,” Nick said, hoping they weren’t planning to finish what they started.
He headed to the kitchen, shrugging out of his coat and draping it across a chair. Then he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Jess’s number. When she answered, he could hear the kids screaming in the background, and Jess sounded more than a little exasperated. “What’s up?” she shouted over the noise.
“I need to talk to you,” he said, keeping his voice low so his parents wouldn’t hear.
“What?” she shouted. “You need what?” She paused then said, “Hold on, lemme go somewhere quieter.”
While he waited, Nick filled the kettle and set the burner on high. The screaming on the other end of the line faded, and Jess said, “Okay, now I can talk.”
“Where did you go?”
“Front hall closet, so it’s only a matter of time before they find me or I run out of oxygen.”
“I just walked in on Mom and Dad doing it. And they were smoking pot.”
She was silent for a several seconds, then said, “Together?”
“Yes, together.”
“How did you manage that?”
He explained everything, expecting her to express the same horror he was experiencing. Instead, she started to laugh.
Irritated, he said, “It’s not funny. It was…horrifying.”
“No. It’s pretty funny.”
“I think you’re missing the point. Mom and Dad are sleeping together.”
“No, I got that. I’m just not sure why you’re so freaked out. Would you rather have walked in on Dad chopping Mom into little pieces?”
“No, but…they hate each other.”
“All evidence to the contrary. And you should be happy that they’re getting along.”
“And if he hurts her again?”
“Do you really think she was the only one who was hurt when they divorced?”
That’s the way Nick remembered it, but before he could say so, his dad walked into the kitchen.
“I have to go,” Nick told Jess. “I’ll call you later.” He hung up and asked, “Where is Mom?”
“You mother is getting dressed.”
Nick’s dad walked past him to the sink, pulled down a glass from the cupboard and filled it with tap water. He seemed to know his way around pretty well, which led Nick to believe that this wasn’t the first time he’d been here. How long had this thing been going on?
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked his dad.
“Getting a glass of water,” he said, taking a swallow. “Would you like one?”
“You know what I mean. After what you did to Mom, what you did to me and the girls, you have no right.”
He dumped the rest of the water down the drain, set the glass in the sink then turned to Nick and said, “You’re twenty-nine years old, son. Don’t you think it’s time you grew up?”
The words struck Nick like a slap in the face, rendering him speechless.
“I realize I wasn’t the greatest father and I was a pretty lousy husband, but you’ve been holding this grudge for twenty years. Enough already. Let it go. Everyone else has.”
Nick was at a loss. Anything he could say at this point would just come off as
immature and petty.
The kettle began to howl as his mom walked into the kitchen, dressed in hot-pink workout gear. “Who would like a cup of tea?” she asked, sounding infuriatingly cheerful. Who wouldn’t be cheerful after an afternoon of sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll?
“Rain check,” his dad said, then gave Nick’s mom a kiss. It was disturbing to watch, but almost…natural in a weird way. They seemed like two people who were perfectly comfortable with each other, and happy to be so.
When the hell had that happened? And how had he missed it?
Fourteen
“Tea?” his mom asked Nick after his dad left.
“Sure,” he said when what he really needed was a stiff drink.
“Have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the kitchen table. He sat down and watched as she got out the sugar and cream and placed them on the table. When the tea was ready, she set a cup in front of him, then sat down across from him with her own. “So, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?”
For a minute he couldn’t remember why he was there, then he remembered. “Decorations for our ugly little tree.”
“Well, for future reference, if you ring the bell and I don’t answer, come back later.”
Yeah, he’d learned that lesson the hard way. “I’m sorry. It was inappropriate of me to barge in like that. But when I saw Dad’s car, I was concerned.”
“About what? You didn’t honestly believe that I was in some sort of danger? That your father would hurt me?”
When she said it that way, it did sound sort of stupid. “I guess I didn’t know what to think. Everything has gotten so…jumbled up lately. I don’t know what to think about anything anymore.”
“Oh, honey.” She reached out to cover his hand with her own. “Are you and Terri having problems?”
“Not exactly.”
She gave his hand a firm squeeze. “Take it from someone who knows. Marriage is tough. You have to keep the lines of communication open. You have to really work at it.”
“And if it’s going too well?”
Confused, she said, “Too well?”
He should shut his mouth now, since she was never supposed to know about this, but who else could he talk to?
“Despite what everyone believes, my marriage to Terri was never supposed to last.”
She blinked. “I don’t understand.”
“Terri wanted a baby, and she was going to use a donor.”
“I know. She and I discussed it.”
“Well, the gist of it was, why use a donor and not be sure what she was getting, when she could use someone she knew? Specifically me. That way the baby would have lots of family, and if something were ever to happen to Terri, she knows he will be well taken care of.”
He didn’t dare tell her about the ten million. He could live with the entire family knowing about their baby arrangement, but if his mom blabbed about Nonno’s offer, he was a dead man.
“Well,” she said stiffly. “It sounds as if you have it all figured out.”
“You’re angry?”
“No… Yes.” She stood so fast her chair almost fell over backward. It teetered on two legs, then landed with a thunk upright.
“Mom—”
“I’m mad. I’m disappointed.” She paced back and forth behind him, her puny little hands balled up, as if she might haul off and pop him one. Which would probably hurt her more than it would hurt him. “How could you lie to your family that way?”
“It’s not as if I could tell everyone the truth.”
That’s when he felt it, a firm crack against the back of his head so hard he could swear he heard his brain rattle. She must have been channeling Nonni for that one.
“Jeez, Mom.” He rubbed the still-stinging part of his head.
His mom sat back down, looking much calmer. “I feel better now.”
“I’m sorry, okay? We didn’t do it to hurt anyone. You know how much Terri wanted a baby. And you’ve said a million times that you love her like a daughter. Would you prefer her baby be your grandchild or the product of some random sperm donor?”
“But you two seem so happy, so in love. You can’t fake that.”
“Maybe we weren’t.”
“You love her?”
“I think I do.”
“And how does Terri feel?”
“That you can never depend on anyone, because eventually they’ll let you down.”
She sucked in a quiet breath. “Oh, that’s not good. But I’m not surprised. She’s been hurt a lot.”
“But since she said it, things have been really great. And today she was making plans for next Christmas, so I’m thinking maybe that means she wants to stay married, too. I just want to be sure of my own feelings before I make a move, because two years from now, I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I’ve made a terrible mistake. Because I will have lost my wife and my best friend.”
“Not all marriages go bad, Nicky.”
“Mom, you can’t deny that our family hasn’t exactly had an impressive track record when it comes to successful marriages. You and Dad were a disaster. Jess is miserable.”
“There’s a reason for that, you know.”
“A Caroselli family curse?”
“Nicky, what you have to understand is that your dad and I, we were never friends. When it came to sexual compatibility, we were off the charts, but you can’t base a marriage on sex. It just doesn’t work. At least, not long past the honeymoon. And your sister, she was so determined to prove that she was different than her parents, that she would never make the same mistakes, she rushed into a relationship before she was ready. And when it started to go south, she didn’t have the skills to know how to fix it. Which unfortunately, is partly my fault. I wasn’t much of a role model. It’s taken me until very recently to get my head together and realize what a real relationship should be. And you know who helped me?”
He shook his head.
“You and Terri.”
“Seriously?”
“Maybe you two don’t see what everyone else does, but you really are perfectly matched.”
“Maybe this is a stupid question, but if your marriage was that bad, and you were that unhappy, why have kids?”
“Because you think it will change things, bring you closer together. And it does for a while. Which is why, when things get bad again, you have another baby, and then another.”
Which explained why Jess had four kids of her own, he supposed. “So what you’re saying is, you only had us kids to save your marriage?”
“Of course not. I was thrilled when I found out I was pregnant with all three of you. You kids were the light of my life, and sometimes the only thing that kept me going, when I thought I couldn’t take another second of being miserable.” She reached up, touched his cheek. “You and your sisters always made me happy.”
“If you were so miserable, why did you stay married for so long?”
“I came from a broken home, and I wanted better for you. I thought that if I couldn’t be happy, the least I could do was give you kids a stable home with two parents.”
“Our home was anything but stable, Mom.”
She sighed. “I know. But I had to try. And you will never know how sorry I am for what I put you kids through. And so is your father. We were both doing the best we could, or what we thought was best.”
“And what you two are doing now, is that for the best, too?”
She shrugged. “All I know is, we have fun together. We talk and we laugh, and he seems to understand me in a way no one else ever has. And the sex—”
Nick held up a hand to stop her. “TMI, Mom.”
She grinned. “The point is, right now, he makes me happy. Maybe it will last, maybe it won’t. Maybe we both just needed to grow up. Who knows? What I do know is that after all this time, we’ve finally become friends. With you and Terri, it’s different. You’re already friends. What you have to decide now is if you love her.”
“We’ve been
friends for twenty years. Of course I love her.”
“But are you in love with her?”
He shrugged. “I guess I don’t know the difference.”
She looked at him like he was a moron. And she was probably right. Maybe what he needed was another good hard whack in the head.
“Okay, let me ask you this. Who is the first person you think of in the morning when you wake up?”
That was easy. “Terri.”
“And when you’re not with her, how often do you think about her?”
Lately, too many times to count. “If there was a way I could be with her twenty-four hours a day, I would do it.”
“Now, think about when you’re with her and find a single word to describe how she makes you feel.”
He thought that would be a tough one, since she made him feel so many things lately. But with barely any thought, the perfect word came to him. “Complete,” he said. “When I’m with her I feel complete.”
“And has anyone else ever made you feel that way?”
“Never,” he admitted. Not even close.
“Now, imagine her with someone else.”
There was no one else good enough for her. No one who knew her the way he did. Who could ever love her as much…
The answer must have been written all over his face, because his mom smiled. “What do you think that means, Nicky?”
What it meant was, he didn’t just love Terri, he was in love with her. Looking back, there was hardly a time when he hadn’t been. He sighed and shook his head at the depth of his own stupidity. “I am such an idiot.”
His mom patted his hand. “When it comes to relationships, most men are, sweetheart.”
“What if Terri is still afraid to trust me? How do I convince Terri that I love her, and that I won’t let her down? How do I make her trust me?”
She shrugged. “It may take some sort of grand gesture to convince her. But if you know her as well as I think you do, you’ll figure it out.”
When it came to things like grand gestures, he was clueless. He could barely get his own head straight, and now he was supposed to figure her out, too?
“And while you’re at it,” his mom said. “Maybe you could cut your dad a little slack. Everyone makes mistakes.”
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