by T. G. Ayer
“And all died?”
I nodded. “He had some sort of power but he didn’t appear to be paranormal. He obliterated the entire group within seconds, then disappeared.”
Silence hovered over our table like a cloud while Anjelo absorbed yet more bad news. I’d given him enough to understand the deaths had been brutal. I didn’t plan to elaborate further.
Suddenly he lifted his chin, his shoulders tensing as his grief transitioned into anger at me. “Why the hell did you make this blood promise in the first place?”
I controlled my expression, maintaining outward serenity. “Because it was the only way to save Greer.”
“Greer.” Anjelo snorted. “Why am I not surprised?” His eyes narrowed. I knew what he was thinking, could see he was holding back.
“I know you didn’t like her,” I said. “But, if it makes you feel any better, she said she was sorry. She asked me to forgive her.” I smiled and reached out to hold his hand. “I forgave her.”
“She had a lot of problems,” said Lily softly. Lily understood Greer more than we all did. “She was struggling with some pretty big emotional weight.”
Anjelo waved it away. “That’s no excuse.”
“I know. It isn’t. I don’t take my frustrations out on people. But not everyone who can’t shift can control their emotions.”
Anjelo’s eyebrows rose. “Greer was Pariah?”
My turn to be surprised. “Did you not know?”
His eyes shifted to me. “How would I know if nobody told me?”
I looked from him to Lily. “You didn’t fill him in?”
Lily shrugged. “It wasn’t my story to tell. I knew you would tell him sooner or later. And besides, he’s had his own burdens to bear.”
“He’s sitting right here,” snapped Anjelo, his golden eyes glowing a little as his panther stirred. “And what burdens are those?”
“Illyria.”
He stiffened. “She’s not my burden.”
“Then stop making her one.”
“She isn’t my burden. My actions are.”
“What actions?” I snapped. “Trusting the person who saved your life? She deceived you, yes. She deceived me too. I trusted her until she stuck her blade into my gut. Do you see me living with everlasting guilt?”
Anjelo shook his head. “You wouldn’t have trusted her if I hadn’t vouched for her.”
“Don’t be stupid. What about Cassie? She could have confirmed that Illyria was a two-faced bitch. But even Cassie was fooled. We were all smart enough. Illyria just happened to be a high-level psycho. She had everyone fooled. Even Wren’do didn’t know and he was in love with her. He remained as her second in command thinking she cared.”
Anjelo stared at me for a long moment, seeming to consider my words as if the truths had never occurred to him.
Maybe they hadn’t. “Have you really been blaming yourself all along?”
He blinked. “She stabbed you. She gave your mother to Omega to be tortured.”
“Ah. I see.” I nodded, understanding now. “You feel responsible for what happened to my mom?”
His head shifted so slightly that I almost didn’t recognize it as a nod.
“Anjelo, can you please stop with all the self-blame. This is all on Illyria. Even Mom knows that.” I sighed and smiled. “Have you spoken to her?”
“Who? Illyria?”
“No. She’s dead.”
“Oh, your mom.”
“Yes, Anjelo. My Mom.”
Even Lily was smiling and shaking her head.
“What makes you think she’d want to see me?” he asked. “It’s not like I did anything to save her.”
Did he really believe that, too?
“Mom remained alive and safe because of your determination to find her. Illyria had her agenda, but she needed you too, so she kept Mom alive. Whatever you did while you were there worked to keep Mom alive and well.” My eyes narrowed. “Are you sure this isn’t an ego thing?”
“Ego thing?”
“Yeah. She made the big, strong guy look stupid.” My voice was cooler than I’d intended but it seemed to do the trick.
“Of course not. What the hell do you take me for?”
“Well, then. We have it all resolved. It’s not your ego. You did everything to help. Mom’s alive and healthy because of you. You’re normal just like all of us who were tricked, and Illyria is dead for her troubles.”
He stared at me.
“So is that all wrapped up now?”
He didn’t move.
“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. No more moping. No more woe-is-me?”
He nodded.
“Good. If you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, we now need to figure out how we’re going to tackle this case.”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t respond. Instead, he patted Lily’s hand where it had sat encircling his arm all through the conversation.
“Right.” He took a breath. “Let’s catch this bastard.”
Chapter 17
I KNEW EVEN BEFORE I slipped my key into the lock that Mom and Grams were home.
Both watched me with strained expressions as I came in and tossed my bag under the coat rack behind the door.
“What did I do now?” I said.
“Kids.” Mom smirked as she played with the crumbs on her plate. “Everything’s always about you.”
I went over to her, grabbed the plate, placed it on the coffee table, and then sank against her.
She squeezed me tight and sighed.
Tilting my head up, I studied her closely. “This new guy in your life, he giving you a hard time?” I narrowed my eyes. “I know where he lives. I could break a few bones for you.”
Grams snorted and Mom smiled. “I’ll let you know if it ever comes to that.” Although she spoke to me, I got the feeling she wasn’t really with us, her mind was off somewhere, probably concentrating on the High Council and their shenanigans.
“So. Anything I need to know?”
Mom shook her head. “Not a peep from the council, though your father and his friends have a good idea of who the mole is.”
“Mole? Ooh.” I wriggled my eyebrows. “Sounds very cloak-and-dagger.”
“It is,” Grams said. “The bastards are out to ruin our families.” She sat back, studying my face as if she just realized something. “You know this will affect you too, right?”
I shrugged. “Not as if I care about being alpha.”
Mom shook her head. “Honey, I don’t think you should be so blasé about this.”
“But why should it bother me?” I asked, genuinely confused. “If Dad doesn’t stay an alpha, Iain will take his place. I don’t think I’ll even be considered as a possible successor.”
Grams leaned forward. “This is where I will have to agree with your mother. You can deny it, because you’ve never liked the idea of leading, but it’s your blood you’re talking about.”
I snorted. “Half-blood, you mean?” I asked, belatedly glancing at Mom’s face. “No offense.”
Mom laughed. “None at all. You’re the half-breed, not me.”
“Mom.” I cried, feigning hurt, then let out a sputtering laugh which totally spoiled the effect. Then I sobered. “I know you’re worried about me—me and Logan—and I understand, but it’s not a problem.”
“How is it not a problem?” asked Mom, the warmth in her voice dropping a few degrees. “What are you planning?”
They both stared me down and I shifted in my seat.
“Kailin Odel, you aren’t going to leave that boy, are you?”
I didn’t respond.
Leaving Logan had been my intention all along, but I hadn’t faced it head on until now. Says a lot for one’s subconscious.
“You are.” Mom did not look impressed. “Now it makes total sense why you’ve been so calm about all this. Cutting and running as soon as the going gets hot?”
I wanted to say ‘look who’s talking’, wanted to say she’d d
one the same thing to us, but from the look in her eyes she knew exactly what was going through my mind.
So I didn’t say a word. I knew what she’d sacrificed and why. She’d left to keep us safe. Us. Not herself.
I sighed, leaning my head against the back of the couch and staring up at the ceiling. “I haven’t really thought about it too much. After that first high council meeting, with all the threats of expulsion for fraternizing with non-walkers, not to mention everything Logan has going on that’s way less important than my problems, I guess I’d already half decided.”
Grams pursed her lips. “So all this nonsense about not wanting to be an alpha has been posturing?”
“Not always.” I had finally admitted it. “It hasn’t been a lie for most of my life. It’s how I felt. But recently, things have happened that changed me, changed my perspective. We’d all trusted Uncle Niko, but his behavior, his experiments, his lack of care for his family, his experimentation on Mom—he killed that trust. Then Greer. We’d never gotten along, never seen eye-to-eye, but she’d had her own demons to deal with, her own horrors. And in the end, she was my sister who died admitting she really did love me.”
The silence in the room was a living breathing thing, holding the women of my family in suspense as they waited for me to break it.
“All those incidents made me realize that as much as I’ve been running from my responsibilities as alpha, I keep on doing things that make me responsible for others.”
I gave a short laugh. “Did you know that Anjelo and Lily have both declared me their Alpha?”
Grams raised her eyebrows but didn’t look shocked.
“Not entirely surprising,” said Mom. “Both work with you, trust you, care about you.”
I nodded. “Yeah. They certainly have contributed to my troubles.”
“And where does Logan fit in?”
I shrugged. “Maybe he doesn’t.”
“Does he know he might not fit, and why?”
I shook my head. “He’s struggling with his own issues. The last thing I want is for him to be bothered by my problems.”
Mom laughed. “Really? This is how you think relationships work?” She sounded annoyed. “You finally accept that you are an alpha, that you can handle responsibility, and then you go and do something like this?”
Like what? “What? What did I just do?”
“You’re finding reasons to bail on your relationship.” Grams sounded as unimpressed as Mom. “Is there another man?”
I thought of Justin, but I hadn’t given him much thought since Greer’s funeral. I shook my head. “Nope. Nobody else.”
“You sure?” asked Mom, her dark eyes piercing.
“What do you know?” I asked, finally suspicious.
“Justin came to see your father.”
She had to be kidding. “And that was enough for you to think he was in the picture?”
“It was when he came to ask for your hand in marriage.”
“For Ailuros’ sake, Mom,” I snapped, losing all patience. “That was premature of him. One conversation weeks ago and suddenly he pops the question? And to Dad not me?”
“When did you talk?”
“Greer’s funeral.”
Grams shook her head. “That boy certainly has bad timing,”
Mom smiled. “I know you had feelings for him.”
“A teenage crush, Mom.” I said, and stopped short. “How did you know about it?”
Mom opened her mouth, then closed it, her eyes flicking to Grams.
“Should have known,” I grumbled, glaring at Grams. “What else did you tell her?”
Grams lifted her chin. “Whatever she needed to know.”
I turned to Mom. “Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have a mother-in-law like her?” I jabbed a thumb in Grams’ direction.
The two women shared a warm smile, but neither said a word. They didn’t need to. Amid all the frustration and worry they shared a moment of happiness and I was there to witness it.
“So, can you get Dad to tell Justin to back off?” I asked, changing the subject.
“Already done.”
“Huh?”
“When I heard, I told your father what I thought.”
I laughed. “I’m guessing Justin was stupid enough to say I had no knowledge of his offer.”
Mom nodded.
Idiot. “He has zero skills.”
Mom nodded. “So you’re sure you aren’t interested in him.”
I gave a swift jerk of my head. “I’m sure.” I stared off into nothing for a moment, thinking about the kiss, thinking about the years I’d spent head-over-heels for him. “Another place, another time. Maybe. If Logan wasn’t in the picture. Sadly, I only have eyes for one guy.”
“Hah. I knew it,” said Mom, pointing her finger at me. “Then what’s all this about leaving him?”
The same things she’d walked away from Dad over, I supposed.
“I just want to protect him from all this drama. And . . . if I stay with him I can’t be alpha. Then, if my people need me, I won’t be able to help them.”
“So you’d sacrifice your relationship for the possibility of your people needing you.”
I groaned. “Mom you’re making my head hurt.”
She chuckled. “There is only one way to sort this out.”
“What’s that?”
“By ensuring the High Council doesn’t win. Our future is integration, even if it means just integration within the paranormal community for now.”
Mom leaned forward. “We’ve been inter-marrying for centuries. It’s always been accepted, even if it hasn’t been publicly acknowledged or encouraged. When I happened along it was accepted and people just lived with it. With paranormals, the genes aren’t watered down. They’re amplified by each other.”
Amplified genes. “Is that why I have both walker ability and tracking power?”
Mom nodded. “Omega managed to do some in-depth studies into gene-sharing. I guess the facility had its benefits.”
I gritted my teeth. “Don’t even joke about it.” Just the thought of what Mom had been through in that facility made my heart hurt. “I still can’t understand how Uncle Niko allowed it to happen.”
“He didn’t just allow it,” Mom said. “He performed any procedure himself. Said he didn’t trust the other scientists, that they’d likely hurt me in the process. And he always made me comfortable. Sedated me if something was going to cause pain, never left me badly hurt.”
“Stop it.” I glared at her. “I can’t believe you’re making excuses for him.” Even now she wasn’t sharing exactly what had happened.
“I’m just being honest, Kai,” Mom said. “Perhaps he had no choice. Perhaps he had to do it, so he treated me well. Whatever he did, he never caused me pain or discomfort. And he always seemed sorry.”
“Seemed.”
My tone was hard, and even when I realized that Grams was sitting across from us listening to us talk about her son, I didn’t apologize for my attitude.
He might have been my Uncle, but he’d hurt us all. And even though Mom’s words had struck me deeply—was there a possibility that Uncle Niko had done those awful deeds under duress?—I wasn’t ready to give him a pass.
“I know it upsets you to talk about him, honey.”
“I heard what he said about me,” I said softly. “When they captured me, drugged me. He stood at my bedside and spoke about me to Greer so impartially, as if having an alpha in his clutches was a strategic benefit to his research, never mind that the alpha happened to be his own flesh and blood.”
“He spoke to Greer?”
“Yes, they were the only two people in the room.”
Mom and Grams exchanged a long look. “Then,” Mom said, “have you considered that his comments to Greer would have been an act?”
I didn’t understand. “Why would he have been acting?”
“Because Greer was aligned with Brand and maybe even Widd’en?” Mo
m spoke softly, kindly, as if she knew that reminding me of my sister’s relationship with Brand, a notorious drug-peddler and walker of questionable sanity who believed himself free to feed on humans, would hurt.
And that Greer’s loyalty to the Wraith Lord would still be a raw wound. Widd’en had been intent on taking over the human world, and I’d spent my time killing wraiths who’d been taking over innocent humans. Little had I known that I’d merely been putting out brush fires, and that the firestarter himself had gotten my sister and uncle under his control.
“You want me to consider that Uncle Niko was being manipulated the entire time?”
“Maybe not the whole time. In the beginning maybe he was the instigator. But I suspect things got quickly out of hand.”
I remained silent, absorbing her theory. It was odd having my inner confusion turned into words, and by Mom of all people.
Then Grams broke the silence. “Forget the past for now. Let’s talk about the present. Where have you been?”
Reality check. “You’re not going to like it.”
“Do tell,” said Mom and they both leaned forward.
I told them about promises and massacres—both bloody—and of mind-melds and assassinations—both sickening. And when I finally finished, I waited.
“What the hell were you thinking?” demanded Mom, her face pale.
Grams made no comment and I knew why.
I faced Mom. “I needed to save Greer. The seal was the only way to reach the Graylands.”
Mom shifted her gaze from my face to Grams. “That reminds me. I still have to deal with you for giving Kai my seal in the first place.”
I bristled. “It’s not Grams’ fault, Mom.”
“Grams can defend herself thank you very much,” said Grams, a pleasant smile on her face. She seemed totally unaffected and not in the least bit guilty. She definitely didn’t need my help in her defense.
Mom ignored both of us. “And a blood promise? Do you even know how serious that is?”
“I do now,” I said drily. “I have to kill someone. And the fact that he’s someone I want to kill definitely makes this the easiest blood promise to fulfill.”
Mom sat back, troubled, her forehead creased, her skin pale, and I waited for the explosion.
