by T. G. Ayer
Though I worried I may have disturbed her, when Darcy moved next, two hours had passed and the muscles in both my arms and legs ached. Darcy must have felt worse considering the constant strain she’d shown.
She gave a shuddering sigh, her torso jerking sharply back against the chair. So sharp the fragile seat gave a frightening squeak and I tensed, expecting to have to pick Darcy up from the floor.
Thankfully, she opened her eyes and groaned, leaning forward onto the mattress with the look of a drunk about to hurl a week’s worth of dinners. Thankfully, she didn’t.
Instead she bent and rested her forehead on Logan’s arm. She inhaled slowly and I waited, holding my own breath.
When she finally shifted her head to look at me, I asked, “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
She shook her head and straightened, wiping a hand over her forehead. She frowned and gave her fingers a strange, confused look. Then her hand went to her neck where it brushed against the coarse weave of the towel.
When she looked at me, a small smile erupted at the corners of her mouth. “Thank you. I’m usually soaked through when I return.”
I smirked. “I could hardly allow you to melt all over our good wood floors.” She grinned, her eyes sparkling. “Can I get you something? Water? Coffee?”
Darcy nodded. “Water, please. Coffee isn’t a good idea.”
I was moving toward the door when Darcy touched my arm. She hesitated, then looked back at Logan, her expression filled with guilt.
“Are you okay? Is something wrong with Logan?”
She shook her head then gave a dry, almost heartless laugh. “Something is wrong with him.”
Then she shifted in the chair to face me. I heard the fabric rustle, watched a stray bead of perspiration drip from the edge of her collarbone and trickle into the hollow at the front of her neck.
Something told me that what she was about to tell me wasn’t good.
Chapter 13
Odd how things seemed to slow down just when your gut tells you that bad news was about to hit you like a ton of bricks.
“Kai, I haven’t been totally honest with you.” Then she laughed again, harshly, angrily. “Come to think of it, I haven’t been honest with you at all. I owe you the truth, especially since . . .”
“Since what?” I asked, anger burgeoning like a storm cloud. I disliked dishonesty.
Then I tamped down my outrage. Who the heck was I to talk about dishonesty when I’d never told Logan about Justin, his offer or his kiss? That was dishonesty right there.
“I’m not so sure that now is the time for either self-blame or pointing fingers.” I sighed, feeling the burden of something bigger weigh down on me. “What did you want to tell me?”
“It was me.” Darcy got up and walked to the window, staring out into the black night. The moon was low and curved, a half smile that, like me, didn’t appreciate the gravity of Darcy’s words.
“What do you mean?” I filled dead air with a question. Darcy seemed to need some impetus.
With her eyes on the moon she said, “In my time inside people’s minds, I’ve seen a million different memories of the moon. Memories are tainted with a person’s own state of mind, with the feelings one experiences at the time of the memory.”
“So if someone unknowingly says something harsh to you, the memory of that moment is colored with the hurt of it, while the speaker’s memory is clear of any negativity.” I nodded.
“That’s it exactly.” She didn’t remove her eyes from the moon. “It’s so massive, so influential. I’ve seen benevolent moons, cold unfeeling moons, magical, powerful and powerless moons. There is no end to our interpretation of that ethereal sphere. It’s like multiple interpretations of the mind. I’m not sure what human scientists would take away if I had to explain to them how exactly the mind works.”
I let her talk.
“The mind is built up of layers and layers of thoughts and experiences and learnings. Everything is coiled together, and it all looks like one big jumble, but it’s compartmentalized, organized so well that if you know what you are doing you can go within a person’s mind and take from them their most precious memories and they’d never even know they’d had them in the first place.”
Darcy was rambling and though I’d heard something similar a while ago she seemed to need to get this off her chest so I let her speak.
“The beauty of our memories is that they each have a tenuous link. Like Logan’s memories. The ones that are missing all have a common factor that links them all together. Chocolate cake, an empty swing, and table in a diner where a milkshake stands waiting for its owner.
“All linked together by a thread that a mind-melder can access and use to navigate that mind.” She took a breath, a shaky shuddering sound that made it seem like Darcy was going to keel over. “My job with Omega, and Sentinel I might add, was to help them retrieve important pieces of information from the minds of criminals and victims alike. The criminal’s mind confirms what they were doing, or going to do or have already done, while victims give confirmation one way or the other. Omega hired me to either remove or mask memories. Most of the time the reasons made sense to me. Make a man forget the face of the person who gave evidence against him; for the safety of the witness. Make a killer-for-hire forget the face of the president in case someone ever pays him to take POTUS out. Make a bomber forget how to create anything bomb-like.
“But then the jobs became stranger. Make this High Council member forget that he was ever wronged by a particular man. Make this mage forget he has a family so he’ll stay with Omega forever.
“Make this boy think that he was the one to decimate an entire diner so that he’d think himself saved. Make him forget that he’d been innocent. Make him forget that he’d had a sister. A sister more powerful than him. Make him forget all about her because her safety was at risk. Because she’s so powerful that she could be used as a pawn if people knew she existed.”
My lungs constricted, air escaped my mouth in a soundless gust. I tried to inhale but nothing happened. I stared at Darcy, fury and grief battling for supremacy. And all through it I couldn’t say a single word.
She turned to face me. “I couldn’t refuse. I knew what Omega was capable of. My grandparents . . . their lives were at risk, my uncle . . . Omega would have taken him out without a single moment’s hesitation. It doesn’t make what I did right. But I tried to help the best way I knew how.”
She stared at me, her eyes wide and glassy. “I broke the rules and helped him. Jess was in the room with me, and she never said a thing. She was meant to be there to watch and ensure I did as was instructed, but she let me do whatever I wanted. To this day I have no idea why.”
Her gaze skittered away from my face, guilty and forlorn. My rage simmered, for Logan’s pain at her hand. But her own pain shone through and I waited, afraid that if I should open my mouth, if I should ask the wrong questions, that I would break ties that were beginning to bind her to our family, to our lives.
Her mention of Jess had helped temper me too.
I let out a soft breath. “Jess was here to help Logan. She told me on more than one occasion that her sole task on this plane was to ensure his safety.”
Darcy’s breath shuddered out of her body. “One thing to be thankful for, then.” She shook her head, as if the action would erase her own memories. But I couldn’t find it in my heart to feel entirely sorry for her. Not until she told me the whole story.
“What did you do?” I asked, doing nothing to soften the harshness in my voice.
“I did the only thing I could do and still escape detection.” Darcy left the window and went back to Logan’s side. She stared down at him, her expression so sad. “I was instructed to remove all memories of his sister. Going back to his earliest memories.”
I came to stand beside her, a part of me feeling like she needed comfort. The hollow tone of her voice was my undoing. So yeah, maybe I was feeling sorry for her now. “I’m
still not sure I totally understand the whole process but keep going. Maybe it’s best if you get it all out.”
Darcy looked at me, doubt filling her eyes along with her tears. “Don’t you hate me for what I did?”
I hesitated and then decided honesty was the best option. “I don’t know yet how I feel, Darcy. I still don’t really know what it is that you did. Why don’t you explain it and we’ll go from there, okay?”
Although she was a few years older than me, it felt like I was dealing with a child. She seemed so lost. And it made me angry that I could not be angry with her.
Chapter 14
I waited while Darcy collected her thoughts.
“I was supposed to do an intensive wipe . . . remove all traces of his sister including every memory that he had which had a connection to her. It’s more complicated than the people who give the orders really understand. All they knew was they had a list of things I needed to do and that I had to do it.
“But when I delved into his mind, I discovered what a delightful child he was, so kind and loving. And what he had to go through with his awful beast of a father. Both Logan and his sister were helpless until they began to grow into their powers. From his memories I saw how they cowered under his hand . . . how they’d begun to protect their mother.
“They did it in subtle ways. Small things. Making his plate so hot he burned his fingers. Bath water, iced drinks, even his chair. His father at first suspected evil possession but after calling in people to exorcise the house he inadvertently alerted the paranormal agencies, there was a minor battle between the two agencies. Sentinel should have taken the children into their fold but Omega offered the father money and he agreed.
“But it backfired on him. Pardon the pun. The day he went to take the girl, because Omega decided they wanted her first, she lost control of her power. From Logan’s memory, she panicked. She’d always been terrified of her father but Logan had feared her power more. He’d stayed at her side trying to protect her when their father stormed the diner and demanded to take her.
“And she panicked . . . just reacted. Only Logan and his sister survived the inferno. And when Omega arrived, because obviously they were waiting outside, they found both children in shock. They took the opportunity and left with both kids . . . only they wiped Logan’s memories, so he’d stay with Omega for two reasons.”
“They wanted his power and they didn’t want him to go looking for her,” I said softly. Logan lay still on the bed, oblivious to Darcy as she recounted his past, a past he had no recollection of.
Darcy nodded. “Only I didn’t exactly do what I was asked, and Jess for whatever reason covered for me.”
“You left behind the connected memories.”
Darcy nodded and smiled pensively. “He was so young, not that much younger than me. I was sixteen to his twelve. I felt like I had to protect him . . . I just didn’t have the heart to do such a cruel thing to him.
“His sister though . . . Well she was another story altogether.”
“How do you mean?” I stiffened. Had Darcy completely erased his sister’s memory?
“Omega separated them immediately. They went to two completely different facilities. Logan was sent to Washington. I never knew where they took the girl.”
“So Logan is beginning to remember because you left the connected memories?”
Darcy nodded then tilted her head. “I wasn’t allowed to leave whole memories so I planted some. When Logan recalled eating a peach with his sister he’d remember the taste of peanut butter. Small things like that which would make him feel like there was something wrong in his mind. I’d deliberately used a weaker, less permanent technique so that if examined by another mind-melder it would appear that I’d done the job. In reality, it was temporary. But only if and when Logan rediscovered his memories on his own.”
“Clever. And, if Omega discovered that his memory had returned, they’d be unable to blame you because they’d certified the job you did in the first place.”
“Yes, the only problem for Omega was that very few people know the technique. It’s easy to wipe a memory and it’s fairly simple to do a temporary wipe. But to find that middle ground that does the least damage and remains undetectable for as long as possible . . . well that isn’t easy at all. Even now it’s still not a commonly used technique.”
“Because it’s difficult?”
“That and because it’s very taxing on the technician. My nose bled for days and I had a migraine for two weeks. The technician’s mind is very much involved in the wipe, no matter what the proponents would have you believe.”
I nodded, satisfied now that Darcy had done what she could, within the limitations of her job and the danger to her family.
“What made you think that Omega would target your family if you didn’t toe the line?”
“Because it’s what they do. For decades if not centuries, it’s one of the reasons that I’ve maintained a freelance contract. Because it gives me more freedom. But back then I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know how much a freelance contract would protect me. Working for Sentinel meant I was almost untouchable. Omega knew it and I learned slowly.”
“And you didn’t trust them?”
“Nope.”
“Why fix it now?” Did it have anything to do with Iain?
“Because when I linked with him a few weeks ago I saw something that shocked me.”
“Which was?”
“Logan is still connected to his sister. As twins-”
“Twins?” I asked, shocked. I shouldn’t have been surprised though, considering the strong connection between them.
Darcy replied, “They shared a bond. A mental connection that helped them protect each other. It’s very powerful and that link is now fully awakened.”
“And you think that his sister is attempting to access that connection.”
She nodded. “It’s possible, but we can’t make assumptions and go chasing after it blindly.”
“Because it could be a trap.” She nodded. “We need to be careful about tracing the connection back to her. So, how do we access those memories? He isn’t exactly able to share.”
Darcy sighed. “His mind is in the Graylands.”
“You said I couldn’t go there,” I said accusingly.
“And I was dead serious. I’m sure there is another way for you to talk to his consciousness.”
I nodded, annoyed yet relieved because she was right. “Yes, there is.”
“You know someone who can help?”
“Yes. And she’ll help me with whatever I ask.”
“I’m so glad.” She sighed. “I am so very sorry. I wish he was awake so that I could apologize.” She looked at Logan again.
“Why didn’t you just leave him a mental message while you were inside his mind?”
She grinned. “I did.”
“So what did you do inside there today?”
“I loosened things up a bit. Weakened the barriers keeping him from accessing his memories fully.”
I hesitated. “Will talking to him in the Graylands affect him in any way?”
“No,” she said firmly. “He’ll be perfectly fine. It’s you that I’m more concerned about.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t physically go there. As much as I’d like to be rebellious and go racing off to find my portal key, I know how I felt the last time I made the trip, and how long it took me to get back on my feet. I never want to feel that helpless again, thank you very much.”
“I’m glad. At least I don’t have to worry about you too.” She gave me a tentative smile.
But, as much as I wasn’t furious enough with her to rip open her jugular and let her bleed to death, I was still angry that she lied. “Why didn’t you tell us when we first brought you to Tukats?”
“Because Logan was Omega.” She paused. “Have you ever heard of mental tracking?”
“Like a SoulTracker?” I asked, thinking of Mel
“No. Like a
GPS tracker, but with sight and sound capability.”
“Damn. That doesn’t sound good.”
“Damn right it doesn’t. I had no idea if he was hooked up. For all I knew, one word from me would have gotten my family killed. But now, with Omega disbanded I’m in the clear.”
“Then thank you for helping him. I can’t pretend that I’m all fine with your involvement, and I don’t know what Logan will say if he sits up and finds out the truth. But for what it’s worth, I think you did what you could with his best interests at heart. And right now, our top priority is finding his sister.”
Darcy smiled somberly. “Then, let’s do this.”
Chapter 15
After Darcy left, I remained at Logan’s side, trying to process her revelation.
I was conflicted. First by Darcy’s obvious regret at what she’d had to do. Second, by my anger at what she’d done, and last, by my understanding of why she’d done it.
Logan looked peaceful, but I remembered his dreams. Those nights when he sat up soaked with sweat, terrified for this girl who haunted his dreams. And now I knew who the girl was.
And Logan was still caught within the throes of a nightmare from which he had no idea how to free himself.
My heart tightened and tears burned beneath my lids. I wanted so badly for him to wake up so that I could tell him that it would all be okay, that I was going to find her no matter what.
But he just lay there, still and silent as the dead.
I sighed and traced his cheek with my fingertips. Placing a kiss upon his lips I forced my muscles to comply and move me to my feet.
The hollow sound my heels made on the wood floor matched the echo in my heart. Downstairs, the living room was empty save for the fire, and I went to sit beside it. As I stared at the flames someone moved beside me but when I glanced around all that had appeared was a plate and a glass on the low table beside the sofa.
