Gazing down at a valley from a mountaintop; feeling the wind through your hair as you run to get to
someone you love; closing your eyes to listen to music that calms your soul; watching your baby sit up for the first time; opening up to the possibility of falling in love. These are the things that make life worth-living. And, yet, those things are rare enough to think at times that you’ve only imagined them.
I stand at the hangar with my helmet in my right hand waiting for the space pod to dock. Theo
sits in a corner a few feet away, helmet on, playing with his touchpad and communication devices.
Kroll stands next to me nodding quietly as I leave him instructions for the next two days that I will be gone. I know it probably sounds completely wrong but it’s rather nice to talk to someone who always
listens attentively and never objects to anything.
The space pod clicks into its position and at the same time we are informed through the speakers
that take-off will take place in approximately fifteen minutes.
“Time to go,” I say and lift the helmet to put it on.
“Will be there in a second,” Theo says punching commands on the keys of the touchpad.
“I know you are worried,” Kroll says.
I put the helmet back down and raise my eyes to his perfectly calm face. There is no strain in his
features, no wrinkles, no lines, no imperfections. Nothing that would give away the fact that he has
been walking and fighting on Earth for almost 40 years. “Many things worry me,” I confess.
“No, this is different. It has cast a very dark shadow over your spirit,” he says without changing
expression or twitching a single muscle. “Whatever it is, I will fight it for you. I will be your shield.”
“You’re very dramatic and sincere. It’s admirable considering the fact that I’ve given you no
choice.”
“You didn’t do this,” he says. “The one who lives in shadows did. She gave me two different
spirits. I prefer the one that serves you.”
“I prefer that one too,” I say rather intrigued. “What is it that makes serving me more
appealing?”
“That you shed a tear when Wudak and Gritu died,” he says as he clicks his boots together and
takes his leave.
*
THE TENTS IN THE CAMP are tall and black like sharp triangles of doom. I have visited the
Dark Legion quarters before but it’s always been with the sun high in the sky. Now with dusk setting
in, the camp takes on an eerie quality of absolute silence and stillness. I should have stayed in Spring Town to review the facts Theo and I have collected one more time but the desire to talk with Damian
was too great.
I have created various different scenarios in my head. In one of them, I go from tent to tent and
ring to ring but he’s nowhere to be found. In another, he’s so absorbed in training that he has no time to talk to me. In a third one, he’s not glad to see me turn up like that and asks me to leave. The only possibility I haven’t entertained is that I would find him sleeping. But here he is, shirtless, sweaty, lying on his stomach in a cot that’s so small for him that his arms and legs hang over the edges like muscular tentacles.
I linger at the entrance for a while before I decide it’d be better to go and let him rest. Who
knows what strenuous training he’s been through to pass out like that before the sun went down.
“Stay where you are,” he whispers before I can get one foot out of the tent. He sits up and stares
at me for a few seconds with squinting eyes. “Freya,” he says. “Am I dreaming?”
“No, it’s me,” I say. “I’m sorry to wake you.”
“It’s okay,” he says rubbing his eyes. “Why are you here?”
“I was in Spring Town with Theo and thought I’d drop by to see you.”
“Give me a moment,” he says. He walks to the sink and pours water all over his face and neck.
“Tough day?” I say.
“Guard duty last night and then training all day. Honest work.”
“I should have given you some warning. You need to rest,” I say as I realize the extent of my
foolishness.
“Not at all,” he says. “You being here will be the highlight of the week.”
“That’s not saying much for your week,” I say. “But I still think I should let you get back to
sleep.”
He leans over and gently takes my arm. “Stay,” he says. “It’s early.”
I search for a place to sit but I can’t find anything that resembles a chair.
Damian turns on a green lamp that runs on batteries. “Here,” he says as he shoves away a pile of
clothes to reveal a fat cushion. I can’t help but wonder where he got that thing.
I plop down on the cushion and fold my knees to the side. Damian sits back on the cot and gulps
down water out of a small canteen.
“Tell me something interesting,” he says and I realize I have no real reason for being here. I
visited on an impulse and now that I have him in front of me, I have no idea what to say.
“Have you had your dinner yet?” he says in an obvious attempt to break the silence.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I say. A few seconds later, I start to feel claustrophobic so I get up. “I don’t
know why I’m here.” I regret the words right away.
“Sit,” he says locking his eyes with mine. “You don’t need a reason.”
I have no idea why I obey but I do. Maybe I’m too tired of fighting my feelings for him. It’s not
such a bad thing to resign to your fate.
“I was the one who broke everything,” he says.
“They say everything heals in time.”
“No one says that, Freya.” he says. “Not in this world. There are more deaths than the final
one.”
I look at him with my cheeks all flushed, my breathing fast and uneven. “What’s happening with
you, Damian?”
“Maybe it’s Tobi,” he contemplates. “He’s so vulnerable. I think of his sweet face. He doesn’t
know of the evils in this world. It’s as if I can feel him, his heartbeat, his feelings for you.”
His voice is steady; the meaning of his words unequivocal. I know that it’s dangerous to take the
bait but I can’t help it. A flood of emotion spills through me. Unless I say something fast to release the pressure, I’m sure I’ll start to cry. “You are finding your way back,” I say looking at my hands on the ground.
“Freya, can you tell me the truth?” he says. “You keeping Kroll around you at all times, it’s not
like you. You would tell me if Tobi was in any kind of danger, wouldn’t you?”
Here we are then. I’ve known that he would figure everything out in the end. He’s tremendously
intelligent in a way that can be intimidating. He knows how to read me like an open book. I take a
deep breath in.
“It is tempting to unload all my problems on you and let you take care of them for me,” I say
lifting my eyes.
“Why fight it? I would carry the load happily for as long as you need it carried. You and Tobi
give me purpose.”
“Is that all we are to you? Purposes?”
He stares at me a long time. “I can feel your hearts beat,” he says. “And if they ever stopped
beating so would mine.”
He’s left me no option. “I don’t think Tobi is in any immediate danger,” I say. “But I am worried
about him being kidnapped again. I have nightmares and I wake up in a sweat. I sleep better knowing
Kroll is outside my door. He could take on any nightmare.”
He considers my words trying to see through them.
“But Tobi is perfectly safe, isn’t he? Security
measures have been taken on Exodus to ensure his safety, we both know that.”
“Tobi will never be safe,” I say. “Not if the Empress knows what I know.”
“What do you know, Freya?” he says. He sounds concerned and impatient at the same time.
I can’t lie anymore. “Tobi is like me,” I say. “He can handle a receptor. Who knows what else
he can do.”
Damian’s eyes grow darker. Creases appear across his forehead and around his eyes. “How
long have you known?”
“A few weeks. Shortly after you left the station.”
“You should have come to me,” he says disappointed.
“Come to you? And then what? It was your choice to leave and I’ll be damned if I’ll use fear to
get you to come back.”
The silence between us is full of unanswered questions.
“Do you want me on Exodus?” he says.
“How can you ask me that? Of course I want you to come back. I told you why I put Torik in
charge of the Dark Legion instead of you. I want you to be free to choose where you belong.”
He listens quietly trying to decipher my words. I can feel the weight of his thoughts. “You’re so
funny, Freya,” he says. “You give me the freedom to choose and then you choose for me. I will come
back.”
“I haven’t told you everything,” I mutter.
Damian sighs. “Of course you haven’t.”
I explain everything I know about the force field and the shield, the possibility of a traitor among
us, Zolkon’s possible involvement.
When I’m done, I feel lighter and calmer than I have in a while. Like the time when he was
leading the Saviors and we could rely on him to make the tough choices for everyone. I see glimpses
of the old Damian and I feel relieved that I have opened up to him despite my initial hesitation.
“You have done the right thing by keeping this quiet,” he says. “We’ll figure it all out. We need
to have a meeting with the Saviors. Unless you think there might be a traitor among us.”
His eyes are teasing but I still feel like I have to clear the air where the Saviors are concerned.
“What? Of course not,” I say. “I don’t want anyone panicking or overreacting, that’s all.”
“I wouldn’t rule anything out,” he continues in a joking fashion. “We have no idea what’s in our
genes or what we’re capable of. But no Savior could ever escape my scrutiny. I’ll smash them down
like ants.”
“Will you give it a rest? What about Tobi?” I say. “Don’t you think that Kroll should stay where
he is?”
“Tobi is my priority,” he says. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. I hope you know that. If
you want Kroll to stay, he’ll stay.”
I walk over to the cot and loop my arms around his neck. I can feel how my touch puts his
muscles in shock by the way he tenses them. “Your heart is a muscle, too,” I whisper in his ear and a second later, his body relaxes and his arms start coiling around me.
He rests his forehead against mine. His hand caresses the back of my neck as he stares deep into
my eyes. “What is it about you that makes me want to be a better person?” he says.
“Maybe you want to be a better person so I can love you,” I say.
His smile is short-lived. “I wouldn’t wish that on you,” he says.
“Why? Why can’t we just be together?” I say.
“I don’t even know anymore,” he says. “But I have to be cautious and take things slowly. I can
barely control my moods and I have trouble staying focused for long. It’s a daily battle for me to
remain human, Freya.”
He leans back putting some distance between us.
“Don’t assume you know what I want or need,” I say.
“I’m only telling you what I need,” he says. “Your touch might make me more beast than man.”
The batteries in the lamp go dead and we find ourselves in the dark with only a few rays of
moonlight creeping in through the heavy fabric of the tent. In a split second I have my hands on his
face and my lips pressing on his. He doesn’t fight me. He stays in the kiss for a while and rests his hands on the small of my back.
“Freya,” he says as I rub my cheek against his. “I will come back to the space station. But you
have to give me time to process.”
“Whatever you need,” I say petting back his hair.
“My emotions don’t have the flexibility they used to have. It’s all or nothing for me now and it’s
not easy to switch modes. Can you promise that you will give me the time I need to find my way?”
I nod as he lifts my hands away from his face. What else can I do? Damian’s coming back with
me and I can feel an old fire coming alive in my blood. I stand with a smile for him and hope the cool night air on the journey back to Spring Town will manage to chill the heat coursing through my veins.
6
When Damian approaches the take-off area with his backpack and travel suit on, Theo realizes
immediately what it means. “No way, don’t tell me.”
“It’s true,” I say. “Damian’s going back with us.”
“To stay? For good?” Theo gushes giving Damian a half hug.
Damian smiles. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”
“That’s good enough for us,” Theo says as he winks at me. “We could use your experience.”
“Theo, Damian’s been briefed,” I say. “About the shield. His input is needed now more than
ever.”
“Like the good old days,” Theo says excited.
“Be honest, Theo, they were not always good,” Damian says. “I made my share of mistakes.”
“We’re the Saviors, Damian,” Theo says. “We make all our mistakes together and I wouldn’t
have it any other way.”
“Thanks, brother,” Damian says resting his hand on Theo’s shoulder.
I am suddenly overcome to see their connection reborn. “Let’s hope mistakes are things of our
past,” I say to escape my sentimentality.
There might be hope for the Saviors after all. We have to win this fight to fulfill our mission. We
must make sure Daphne and Doc didn’t die for nothing. My nostalgia mutates into pride. Our ragtag
group of escapees have found ourselves at the center of the fight to ensure humanity’s survival. And
with Damian back, strong and willing, the odds are ever rising.
In my blood I feel the birth of an unknown destiny. If Tobi and I had anything to do with his
latest transformation, then maybe all the pain and separation was worth it. Because there is no one
now breathing better suited to lead us to victory than Damian.
We exit Earth’s atmosphere. I smile when Damian jots down notes on a piece of paper. I had
forgotten how he likes to write things down. On paper, on blackboards, on napkins, anything he can
get his hands on. And it’s this small, meaningless detail from a past I thought had gone forever that reassures me he’s truly coming home to us.
*
WE ARE RIDING on the walkway to Sector Three where we are to have our first official
meeting as a team with Damian back in the fold. I break away from the group of Saviors when we
reach the end of the moving walkway as I spot Lainey and Ella walking toward the labs.
I lose sight of them as they go round a corner between the flight deck and the rows of
laboratories. I force myself to walk as fast as possible without giving the impression of running. I
don’t wan
t to draw attention to myself. But as I turn the corner, Lainey and Ella are standing in plain sight again outside the door of one of the biology labs.
Instinctively, I stop and look for a place to hide. That was not my intention when I set out to meet
them. As a matter of fact, I wanted to clear the air between us, but when they step into the lab, I walk to the door and linger for a few seconds before I make up my mind and open it.
I find no one in the waiting area. I wonder if it wouldn’t be best for everyone if I just turned
around and left. But then I hear voices coming from behind the door that leads to the lab chambers.
I open the door just a crack as slowly as humanly possible so I can make out the words that are
being exchanged without being noticed.
“It’s not true,” Lainey says. “I never said it would be easy or fair.”
“Or nice apparently,” Ella says. “I want things to be nice again.”
“Stay focused on the goal,” Lainey says. “There will be bumps on the way but you will prevail,
I promise you that.”
I can’t hear what Ella says in response. She must have whispered it. Maybe she’s figured out
there’s someone behind the door eavesdropping on them. But then Lainey’s voice comes back loud
and clear. “Finn will understand,” she says. “Yet I still don’t understand what you want with that
boy? You need a man. Every woman does.”
“We don’t choose who we love,” Ella says.
“Oh, gosh, don’t start on me with all those storybook clichés,” Lainey says.
“Anyway, he’s mad at me now and he has every right to be.”
I almost jump out of my skin when I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“Eavesdropping?”
I turn quickly and come face-to-face with Joshua. I put my hand over his mouth and drag him
outside of the lab. “You’re just the man I was looking for,” I say as soon as I close the door behind us.
“Well, I’m flattered,” Joshua says with a content smile on his freshly shaven face. “I knew you’d
come around.”
“Be serious,” I say. I stare at his chin. “What happened to your goatee?”
“Gone,” he says. “Zoe didn’t like it very much when I kissed her.”
“You kissed her?” I say.
“I did and I highly recommend it.”
“Look at you,” I say, “all blushing and happy.”
[scifan] plantation 04 - beyond the river of time Page 5
