Cochran, Mark (44)—White. Married, no children. Nominee for Best Special Effects for The Return of the Zoid.
Cohen, Harry (23)—Jewish. Actor. Star of television sitcom The Rabbi and Me wherein Cohen plays feckless high school kid who solves mysteries with the help of a wise old rabbi, crimes that always originate with evil white racists or Muslims. Charges of obtaining a false medical exemption from the draft dropped, influence of Sid Glick.
Cohen, Todd (36)—Jewish. Casting director, Paradigm Studios. Subject of repeated sexual harassment suits from aspiring actresses and studio employees.
Colbert, Kaneisha (24)—Mulatto. Actress. Nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her role as a Strong Womyn African-American freedom fighter in the epic Southern anti-slavery movie Eagleton Plantation, for which she had already received the Best Actress award from the Black Film Actors’ Guild. Ms. Colbert was not shot, but trampled to death by her fellow glitterati trying to escape.
Concasseur, Ti-Jean (35)—Black. Centurion security officer. Former UN-trained Haitian police officer, former Port-au-Prince gangster and enforcer for outlawed Lavalas party.
Daniels, Ray (42)—White. Actor. Nominated for Best Actor for Let’s Go Home, wherein Vietnam vet returns to reunite with his Saigon bargirl lover and his mixed-race child and fights against the Communists and then wicked racist American immigration law to bring them into the United States.
Dickstein, Morris (39)—Jewish. Golden Globe award-winning actor and stand-up comedian. Chairman of the Hollywood-Israel Friendship Society. Two arrests for pedophilia, suppressed by influence of unknown persons.
Fiegenbaum, Yossele (70)—Jewish. President, MGM Studios. Member of Anti-Defamation League’s national Board of Directors. Reputed to have private room in his Beverly Hills mansion stocked with drugs, sex toys, pornography, and Satanic ritual objects.
Franken, Andrea (38)—Jewish. Co-scriptwriter for Great White North. Police broke into her apartment when neighbors heard screams and found Franken bound in leather restraints and apparently being raped and beaten by James Waterson, 26, Hell’s Angels gang member with prominent Swastika and white racist tattoos. Charges dropped when Franken admitted the acts were consensual and Waterson was paid for them.
Galvez, Ramon (28)—Hispanic. Centurion security officer.
Ganz, Allen (32)—Jewish. Head of script department at FoxFlix Productions. Heroin addict.
Gelblum, Emmanuel (54)—Jewish. Chairman of the Board of Directors of World Artists Studios. Approved recent project Great White North. Son heroin addict, daughter in mental institution in room next to her mother. Gelblum was a shochet, a kosher slaughter man, not out of religious obligation but because he simply enjoyed killing animals.
Glick, Shlomo (53)—Jewish. Head of Mammoth Productions. Scheduled producer of Homeland. Reputed to be drug addict and insane. Stabbed a secretary with a pair of scissors in his office, released after thirty days’ court-ordered psychiatric observation. Scandal ensued when it was revealed that Glick only spent one day in observation and was actually at work and at home when alleged observation was supposed to be taking place. Story killed on order of his brother, Sid Glick.
Glick, Sidney (58)—Jewish. President, Paradigm Studios. Known as “Mr. Hollywood,” Glick was renowned as the most powerful Jew in the motion picture industry since Louis B. Mayer’s time. Driving force behind Homeland project.
Goldblum, Ari (56)—Jewish. Israeli-born head of largest talent agency in Hollywood. Famed as first Hollywood manager actually to write a casting couch clause for actresses into his contracts, known as the “personal services” clause.
Goldblume, Jerry (42)—Jewish. Actor-director. Arrests for rape, bestiality, and stock fraud, all suppressed through the influence of Sid Glick.
Goram, Rafi (31)—Jewish. Bodyguard to Sid Glick. Ex-Israeli Mossad. Goram was wanted by the United Nations War Crimes Committee for the murder of over 100 elderly Palestinians in a nursing home burned to the ground during an Israeli army incursion into Ramallah.
Greenwood, Michelle (25)—White. “Aspiring actress” actually employed by escort service, accompanying Saul Steinberg of Twenty-First Century Fox to ceremonies that night.
Gunderson, Robert (43)—White. Bodyguard to Sid Glick. Former FBI agent. Dismissed from Bureau for selling information to Colombian drug lords.
Gutierrez, Pablo (32)—Hispanic. Hotel Royale control room guard.
Halter, Yossi (34)—Jewish. Just appointed youngest studio Vice President in history at Mammoth Productions. Reputedly blackmailed entire board of directors with six months’ worth of secret surveillance tapes of their assorted sexual and financial peccadilloes. “This young man will go far,” said Mammoth on announcing his appointment in the media.
Hirschfield, Albert (50)—Jewish. Editor of Variety Online. Suspected of poisoning his elderly mother with strychnine some years ago in order to get a large insurance settlement.
Horowitz, Joshua (30)—Jewish. Scriptwriter for Great White North. Had bribery arrangement with California Department of Corrections wherein he was occasionally admitted to correctional institutions and left alone with “white supremacist” inmates who were handcuffed and restrained, and allowed to beat them with a baton. It is not known whether he was ever allowed to flagellate his co-writer Andrea Franken (see above).
Hudson, Mary Anne (27)—White. “Aspiring actress” actually employed by escort agency. Accompanied Irving Kirschbaum to the ceremonies that night.
Jones, Lamont (29)—Black. Bodyguard to Yossele Fiegenbaum. Karate black belt, ex-Marine Corps. Cocaine addict.
Katz, David (52)—Jewish. Director and independent producer. Producer of Great White North. Two counts of rape dismissed through influence of persons unknown.
Kirschbaum, Irving (58)—Jewish. Producer of over seventy major motion pictures, including four Academy Awards for Best Picture and one personally for Lifetime Achievement. Widely believed in the industry to be insane. Claimed to be accompanied always by Angel Gabriel and conducted long conversations with said divine being at various inappropriate times such as board meetings, etc.
Kirschner, Marion (56)—Jewish. Specialized in wise and salty Jewish mother roles, including her latest television series where she portrayed a wisecracking Yiddishe mama who was also a federal judge, sentencing evil white racists and Muslims to prison every week. Found dead at her VIP table, face down in a bowl of her own trademark chicken soup.
Landauer, Hyman (49)—Jewish. Senior Vice President in charge of Production, World Artists studios, in charge of proposed film Great White North. Arrested in legal Nevada brothel after being found under influence of drugs in bed with strangled prostitute. No charges filed.
Mandel, Peter (75)—Jewish. President of Global Studios. A raging sex maniac who once engaged in coitus with two dozen aspiring starlets in one twenty-four hour period to win a bet, one per hour, after which he fired them all and had them hounded out of town by the LAPD because “Nobody nails my leftovers.”
Martinez, Rafael (26)—Hispanic. Centurion security officer.
Nussbaum, Philip (48)—Jewish. Producer and director, mostly for Paradigm. Killed three members of the Riordan family of San Diego, including two children, while driving the wrong way up an exit ramp on Interstate Five at eighty miles an hour in his Maserati, with a blood alcohol level of .16. Charges reduced to straight DUI, license suspended for ninety days.
Padilla, Juan (30)—Hispanic. Centurion security officer.
Pechter, Rabbi Leo (48)—Jewish. Southern California regional director, Anti-Defamation League of B’nai B’rith. Served as interrogator in U.S. Army, investigated by JAG for torture of Arab prisoners going even beyond the Dershowitz Protocols, quietly discharged, and immediately employed by ADL.
Ratner, Lew (54)—Jewish. “Attorney to the Stars.” Main legal troubleshooter for Hollywood establishment under Generalissimo Sid Glick. Once got black athlete and aspiring actor Tyrone Fowler acquitted for rape and murder of Russian hotel maid,
a homicide that was cam corded in it entirety by paparazzi lurking on balcony and introduced into evidence. Fowler was nominated for this year’s awards as Best Supporting Actor for Blood on the Basket but was found dead in his Mercedes of a drug overdose before awards night.
Robertson, Frederick (40)—White. Centurion security officer. Married, two children.
Rodriguez, Manuel (22)—Hispanic. Centurion security officer.
Rosenberg, Abe (45)—Jewish. Senior in-house legal counsel to Paradigm Studios. Found with almost a full gigabyte of child pornography on his company computer and a whole secret viewing room full of such material in his Carmel, California home. No charges filed.
Rubinstein, Jennifer (40)—Jewish. Gossip columnist and reviewer for Variety. Alleged to have driven actresses Jenny Kraft and Mila Bellarov to suicide after ruining their careers.
Rudin, Marty—(36) Jewish. Homosexual. Joint winner of Best Screenplay award for The Color of Love.
Salazar, Ramon (27)—Hispanic. Centurion security officer.
Shmulevitz, Rabbi Samuel (62)—Jewish. Director of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles. Personal friend of Hillary Clinton.
Stanford, Jenna (26)—White. Actress. Star of several interracial films including a Mafia version of Othello, the consensual incest movie Brother Beloved wherein a teenaged Stanford seduces her ten year-old brother, as well as engaging in one of the grottiest lesbian scenes ever filmed during the movie version of Sappho.
Steinberg, Saul (59)—Jewish. Executive vice president, Twenty-First Century Fox. Known associate of organized crime figures, suspected of money laundering, reputed to be unofficial Mossad station chief for Hollywood.
Steinfeld, Bert (43)—Jewish. Actor. Specialized in macho martial arts roles beating up on Arabs, Nazis, Frenchmen, and other villainous characters. Rifle bullet entered anus while Siegel was crawling on floor and exited his brain.
Stern, Avrohom (63)—Jewish. Israeli independent director and producer. Imported over ten thousand black Africans from Guinea-Bissau and Senegal into Florida to use as extras for an African war movie he was making. Movie lost financing, and so Stern simply opened the compound one morning and turned the Africans loose, resulting in several dozen murders and over two hundred rapes of local residents, as well as over a thousand separate lawsuits, all of which were dismissed due to unknown influence.
Thomas, Nathan Turner (31)—Black. Homosexual. Joint winner of Best Screenplay award for The Color of Love. Arrested for child molestation three years ago, charges dropped through influence of persons unknown.
Tostigsdottir, Ingrid (21)—White. Icelandic supermodel, escorting Hyman Landauer to the Oscar ceremonies.
Washington, Bo-Bo (47)—Black. Centurion security officer.
Weinberg, Bruce (54)—President, Star Crown Motion Pictures, Inc. Investigated by the SEC for securities fraud and by the DEA for allegedly arranging “in-house” narcotics supplies to his actors and executives, and collecting cut of the profits. No charges filed.
Weinstein, Abe (60)—Jewish. Senior vice president for Finance for Universe Studios. Investigated for “creatively financing” many films with laundered drug money and for statutory rape of a minor. No charges filed.
Woltz, Louis (70)—Jewish. CEO of Excelsior Studios. Multi-millionaire. In his younger days as an agent he was charged with embezzling clients’ money, mail fraud, drug trafficking, and suspicion of murder when actress Jill Considine died under mysterious circumstances in her home just after filing a multi-million dollar lawsuit against Woltz to recover money he stole from her over a five-year period.
XXII
Send Off The Clowns
Oh God! That one might read the book of fate
And see the revolution of the times
Make mountains level, and the continent,
Weary of solid firmness, melt itself into the sea!
King Henry IV, Second Part—Act III, Scene 1
The response to the Oscar Night Massacre was immediate, on the part of both the Hollywood establishment and the United States government.
From Washington, D.C. came a televised address to the nation from President Hillary Clinton. The skin of the old woman’s face was stretched so taut by repeated plastic surgeries that her translucent cheeks and chin actually gleamed white in the camera lights from the bone beneath, despite the best makeup, skillfully applied. Her eyes glistened as well, sparkling with near insanity at these uppity white boys. Her whole manner and address seemed a bit unhinged, a fact not lost on viewers and commentators. The President spent the first 20 minutes delivering a maudlin eulogy of the Jewish victims of this “unspeakable act of bloodthirsty and unquenchable hatred.” (“She got that right,” snarled Charlie Randall as he watched the broadcast in the Culver City apartment.) Hillary’s grief for the dead of Oscar Night wasn’t completely feigned; many of the dead Jews had been significantly responsible for elevating her to the Presidency in exchange for selling her soul to Israel, and the unswerving support of the Hollywood media establishment had been instrumental in keeping her there, especially in beating her impeachment by the House of Representatives and her subsequent trial in the Senate for allegedly ordering the murder of several of her more vocal political opponents and critics.
Hillary concluded by announcing that “the patience of the American people with racism and terrorism is at an end, and we are going to crush these evil men like the insects they are.” She announced that a new paramilitary force, the Federal Anti-Terrorist Police Organization (FATPO) would be immediately deployed into the Pacific Northwest and that they would operate under “special rules of engagement” that would allow for the “complete eradication of terror, and at long last mete out the condign punishment that should long ago have been applied to every manifestation of racism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, nativism, and sexism.”
“You forgot thoughtcrime, bitch,” sneered Cat Lockhart.
“Oh, no, she didn’t. Neat move,” commented Hill after the special Presidential address had been concluded. “We’ve known her little Army of Darkness was on the way for at least a year, but some of the last holdouts of the old way in D.C. were worried about whatever legal or constitutional fig leaf she was going to use to justify creating what is basically her own private militia. This way she avoids having to declare martial law throughout the Northwest, which the United States military has repeatedly told her they cannot possibly enforce while they’re scattered all over the globe grabbing oil wells and chasing Muslims and protecting Israel’s ass. Not to mention making a mockery of her own professed liberalism for all time. No martial law, oh, no heaven forbid! She just unleashes her little private army of thugs and killers on the population of an entire region with ‘special rules of engagement.’ That will give them the power to go berserk and slaughter anyone they suspect of supporting the NVA or even of thinking unwholesome racial thoughts.”
“Hell, these people have been sidestepping the Constitution and due process for decades, ever since her husband was in power,” commented Christina Ekstrom.
“I thought they weren’t going to bring in those goons until sometime this summer?” asked Lockhart.
“That was the original plan, yes,” replied Hill with a nod. “We’ve forced their hand, compelled them to react to us, and that’s always good.”
The surviving members of Tinsel Town’s Hebrew and homo movie-making élite assembled a huge press conference in the auditorium of 21st Century Fox studios four days after the slaughter. They were obviously shaken and paranoid, seeing NVA assassins behind every bush and under their beds. The conference was surrounded by hundreds of LAPD and private security contractors who were armed and equipped better than most military units fighting in the deserts of the Middle East. It took the press reporters and television crews five hours to pass all the security checks to get into the auditorium, as they were searched and X-rayed and their equipment taken to pieces by Kevlar-covered muscle-men bristling with a panoply of automatic weapons, sniffer dog team
s, holographic facial profiling computer systems, fingerprint and retinal scanners, metal and chemical detectors, snipers on every elevation and helicopter gunships hovering overhead. The participants at the conference, all Jewish, including six studio heads, six major producers, and four world-renowned directors, were seated at a long table behind a clear screen of special bulletproof Plexiglas-type material. An obviously twitchy and nervous Arnold Blaustein, who had taken over Paradigm on the demise of Sid Glick, announced the establishment of a special private “justice fund” by the movie industry, which offered a reward of five million dollars per head for information leading to the apprehension alive of any terrorist who could be shown to have participated in the events of Oscar Night in any way—and ten million dollars dead. Then the conference ended and all of the participants dispersed, surrounded by bodyguards, to a variety of undisclosed locations.
“Beautiful,” commented Randall when he heard of the reward offer. “Now we’re going to have every bounty-hunting criminal and scumbag in the world who thinks he’s some kind of hotshot coming here trying to track us down, as well as all the cops and FBI and whatnot.”
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