Sunsets at Seaside

by Addison Cole

  “Where are you rushing off to?” Vera asked from behind him.

  “Going for a run.” He had never been a very good liar.

  “With a paper bag, and dressed like that?”

  Jamie closed his eyes, his back to his grandmother. “I have a breakfast date with Jessica.”

  “Well, don’t you want to bring something a little nicer? Muffins, maybe?” He heard the smile in her voice. “I could make some for you.”

  He heard her shuffling toward the kitchen in her slippers. Jamie turned, knowing she’d see right through him, the same way she’d known the first time he snuck out of the house to meet a girl when he was sixteen.

  “Thanks, Gram, but I think she likes bagels.”

  She crossed the cozy cottage in her pink housecoat, a smile on her thin lips and love in her eyes. Vera reached up and brushed his hair from above his eyes.

  “You worked until very early this morning.”

  “I kept you up? I’m sorry. I’ll try to be quieter.” He was trying his best not to sound anxious, but he wanted to see Jessica more than he wanted anything else in the world.

  She took his hand and led him to the couch. “Sit with me a second before you rush out. I’ll only take a moment.”

  He’d do anything for her, but at that moment, every second felt interminable. He sat beside her and tried not to seem too anxious. The paper bag crinkled in his grip.

  Vera patted his hand. “I like her, Jamie. She’s just like your mother was.”

  That sucked the wind from his sails. They rarely talked about his parents. There wasn’t a reason, that he could remember, or a time when they suddenly stopped talking about them, but they’d somehow faded into the background of their lives. It was strange how that happened. One day he was consumed with grief, and a year later, he had shaped and molded that grief into something he could shift to the side in order to continue living.

  “She is? I don’t remember Mom very well. The images in my mind feel like they’re pieces of pictures you’ve shown me rather than real memories.”

  “Your mother was in love with love, Jamie. She was so in love with your father that it seeped from her pores, and you? You were her very heart and soul.”

  His throat thickened at her words.

  “She used to watch you when you were sleeping, and she’d brush your hair from your forehead in that way that mothers do.”

  “You do that to me.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

  “Yes.” She nodded. “I do. And I did it to her when she was just a girl, too. It’s love, Jamie. There’s nothing more powerful than the draw of the heart.”

  He dropped his eyes to keep her from seeing the emotion in them.

  “There’s a glimmer in someone’s eyes when they’re in love. Your grandfather had it the first time he met me. I wanted to savor that look and put it in my pocket. You know that feeling when you want to remember something until the day you die?”

  Vera had a way with words that cut to the chase. “I think I do now.”

  “He looked at me like that every morning for the rest of his life. Oh, he had his moments. The ice-cream-before-dinner moments.” She laughed. “But when something is as right as rain, no umbrella in the world can keep you from getting drenched. Don’t expect it to be all flowers and prettiness. Real love isn’t like that. Love is painful and beautiful at the same time. Sometimes it grips your lungs so tight you’re sure you’ll die for lack of air, and then it drags you down and beats you until you wish you would die. And just as quickly, it fills your lungs with helium and you think you might float away. And eventually, when you’ve paid your dues and knocked down the walls that kept the sweet, soft middle of your heart safe for all these years, that’s when you settle into togetherness.”

  “Why are you telling me this now, Gram?”

  “Because you’re a careful man. You see women a few times, and then you bury your feelings in the computer. It’s time to break that cycle and let yourself love and be loved. This is your summer, sweetheart. I can feel it in my bones. I see that glimmer in your eyes, and that little honeybee up there with the beautiful smile and eyes that look at you like you’re a gift of the sweetest nectar she’s ever encountered? I have a feeling it’s her summer, too. Go. Be happy.”

  Jamie hadn’t thought he needed his grandmother’s approval to allow himself to let his feelings come forth, but as he ascended the stairs to Jessica’s apartment, he realized that there was a piece of him that hadn’t wanted to spread himself too thin, for fear of not being there for Vera. How could she have known that when he hadn’t had a clue?

  It wasn’t yet six thirty when he knocked on Jessica’s door, paper bag in hand, as transparent a ruse as Saran Wrap.

  The door opened just a crack, and Jessica peered up at him. A smile spread across her lips and filled her eyes.

  “Hi.”

  Her voice had that sleepy, sexy, just waking up sound, and it made him want to gather her in his arms and become one with her while her body was still warm from the sheets. He couldn’t even begin to pretend otherwise.

  “I…”

  She opened the door and leaned her shoulder against it, her legs crossed at the ankle, her back slightly arched. Her hair was tousled, cascading over the silky, spaghetti-strap camisole that stopped just short of her belly button, exposing a path of skin that Jamie knew intimately. His mouth watered at the memory of how sweet and hot her skin was against his lips, how responsive her body was to him. His eyes slid lower, to the lace panties she had on, and he was a goner.

  “I brought our third date. I mean, breakfast.”

  Her dimples came with her smile as she pushed open the screen door and he closed the distance between them. She smelled like a springtime afternoon—only warmer. With the bag in one hand, he leaned down and kissed her. She circled his neck with her arms and he kicked the door shut behind him. Holy smokes, he lost all control around her. He should take her out for a three-course champagne breakfast. She deserved it, but as the bag slid from his hand and he caught the edge of it and set it on the floor, it was all he could do to remember to breathe. With one strong arm around her waist, he lifted her to him, and her legs naturally circled him as he deepened the kiss and backed her up against the closed door. She tangled her fingers in his hair and held on tight—damn, that amped up the heat—and she slicked her tongue along his lower lip, pulling a hungry moan from his lungs.

  “Is this our third date?” Her eyes darkened, narrowed seductively.

  “Oh, yes. Hungry?”

  “Only for you.” She pressed her lips together and smiled that Cupid-like smile that shot straight to his heart and nearly killed him every time.

  He settled his mouth over the pulse point on her neck, feeling the quickening beneath his tongue. She fisted her hand in his hair and held him to her. He kissed and sucked a path along her collarbone, up along her jaw, to her mouth once again. The urgent kiss was rough and greedy. He needed her more than he’d needed her five seconds earlier. He drew her camisole over her head and tossed it away.

  “You’re so beautiful.”

  “I need more, Jamie. Bedroom,” she said in a heated breath.

  He carried her into the bedroom, but before lying her on the bed, he cupped the back of her neck and gazed into her eyes. “I want more than this with you, Jess. So much more. More than a day, more than a night. More than just sex.”

  “I do, too. But, go slow, Jamie. I’ve only been with one other man.”

  Oh, dear Lord. “One?” Guilt coiled deep in his belly. She deserved slow loving, and despite how badly he wanted her, he didn’t want to rush her.

  She must have seen it in his eyes, because she reached up with both hands and touched his cheeks. She was smiling, and the depth of emotion in her eyes brought his forehead to hers.

  “I want this with you. This is exactly what I dreamed it would be like with you.” She touched her lips to his. “Love me, Jamie. All of me.”

  JAMIE HAD THOUGHT
about making love to Jessica since the first time their eyes met, and now, afterward, there was a peace that overtook him, a desire to be closer than he’d ever felt with another woman. He usually rolled off and his mind moved on to other things. With Jessica, he didn’t want to move away.

  “Please don’t move. I’ve dreamed of being in your arms for days. Please don’t go.”

  They were so in sync. “I’m not going anywhere, but I have to know, Jess. You’ve only been with one man. Why me? Why so fast? We could have waited.”

  Her fingers moved lightly along his skin, up and down his back, and when she spoke, her eyes filled with seriousness, laced with emotion so deep he could fall into them.

  “I always thought I’d know when the right man came into my life. The man I’d want to give myself over to completely. The first time I…did that was when I was very young. I was trying to fit in during my sophomore year in high school. We never even dated. It was like I dared myself to do it. I met him after school and we did it in his bedroom while his parents were at work.” A shadow of sadness washed over her eyes and just as quickly disappeared. “I was rebelling in the stupidest way imaginable.”

  “Oh, babe. I’m sorry. High school boys can be such jerks.” He kissed her softly and shifted so his thigh was over hers, his arm draped over her chest. He imagined some jerky kid sweet-talking her into giving up her virginity, and it pissed him off. He felt protective of her and wanted her to feel safe.

  “It’s okay. It was a good lesson, actually, and it was my choice. I wasn’t forced or anything. I wanted to be normal badly enough that I believed that might do it. It didn’t, but it wasn’t horrible. It was kind of like when you try a food you don’t love, but maybe if someone else had cooked it you would try it again, because you know it’s supposed to be really good. Anyway, after that night I decided that rebelling would have to happen in safer ways, and it made me realize that sex was in no way tied to not feeling lonely. I still felt lonely. But that, I realized, came from within. I learned how to deal with the loneliness, and I rebelled by playing the music I wanted instead of what my mother chose. I’m lame, a nerd, whatever. I know, but it served the purpose.”

  “But, Jess, all these years? Didn’t you miss being touched?” He was a sensual man, and Jamie loved being touched as much as he enjoyed touching. He couldn’t imagine going all those years without being intimate with a woman.

  “I don’t think you understand how focused I’ve been all these years. Dating wasn’t ever part of my daily life. In Juilliard I practiced nonstop, graduated top of my class, and after…” She shrugged. “It’s not like I’m a saint, Jamie. I went out with a few guys, but I never felt anything for them, so they never got past second base.” Her cheeks pinked up. “And now here I am.”

  “So was this…was I…some sort of rebellion?”

  She ran her finger over his lips. “No. I’m past rebellion. I’ve moved on to self-discovery. When I arrived here the week before I met you, I was hit on by guys. Several over the course of that week, actually. If this were rebellion, any of them would have done. I told you, I don’t rebel with my body any longer. I’m twenty-seven, Jamie, and in all those years, I’ve never felt drawn to a man like I was, like I am, with you.” She inhaled deeply and blew it out slowly. “Besides, I never knew what I was missing. I imagined what it might be like to make love with someone I cared about, and I hoped it would be like this, but before …what we did on the beach, I hadn’t, you know.”

  He blinked several times, wondering if she was saying what he thought she was. “You never had an orgasm?”

  She shook her head.

  “You’ve never pleasured yourself?”

  She bit her lip and shook her head. “Never even considered it.”

  If I had your body, I’d never stop touching it. “But you were so open with me. You knew just what to do, how to act.” He’d never met anyone like her, so pure and honest. So openly loving.

  She shifted so they were nose to nose. “That’s because it wasn’t an act. I finally allowed myself to let go of what I’d been taught about how to act and of right and wrong. You know, they didn’t cover proper orgasm etiquette at Juilliard.” She laughed, a sweet, sensuous laugh that he wanted to always remember. “I just let myself feel, accepted what you had to give, and I gave what I wanted to share.”

  He drew her body against him, wanting to take care of her and show her all the ways she deserved to be loved and cherished.

  “Was it okay for you?” she asked just above a whisper.

  He leaned back and met her gaze. “Being with you before we made love was never just okay. You make me think and feel and want in ways I never have before. I’ve never felt closer to anyone in my life.”

  And I doubt I ever will.

  Chapter Nine

  AFTER MAKING LOVE again and finally eating those bagels, they spent the day with Vera and the others down by the pool. Jamie, Caden, Kurt, and Tony sat at one of the round tables, playing poker beneath an umbrella. Bella brought a radio, tuned to a top forties station. Jessica, Bella, Jenna, and Amy were lying in the sun on lounge chairs. Leanna was still at the flea market, and Vera was reading beneath an umbrella close to the girls.

  Jamie’s head was still spinning from making love to Jessica earlier in the day. He couldn’t get over how trusting she was. Not that he couldn’t be trusted. He was a trustworthy guy, but with Jessica he had nearly zero control. She barely knew him. He could have been a jerk. Maybe he was one. How would he know? Would a jerk have continued making love to her when he realized he was only the second man she’d ever been with? He couldn’t have stopped if his life had depended on it. She had a crazy hold over his emotions, and it became stronger with every second they were together. He’d been a breath away from asking her to shower with him, and he’d forced himself to back off, because he knew if he saw all those naked, luscious curves glistening wet beneath the shower spray, the memory of how good she felt would be too fresh. He’d go back for more without thinking. Instead, he’d rinsed off alone, smelling her scent all around him in the small bathroom.

  “Dude, you going to stare at her all day, or are you going to make a move?” Tony arched a brow.

  Double entendre noted, Jamie gave him one right back. “Can’t beat an ace in the hole.”

  “Unless you’re wielding a longer sword,” Kurt added with a smirk. “Come on, boys, put away your Mr. Happy’s and play your cards.”

  Jamie set down four aces. “I was talking about my cards.” And thinking about Jess.

  “Son of a gun.” Tony tossed down his cards. “I thought you were day dreaming.”

  Caden laid his cards facedown. “You guys are too hot for me today. I’ve got to pick up Evan at TGG. Anyone need anything in town?”

  “Condoms, Jamie?” Tony asked. “They sell ’em small.”

  “Yeah, that’s why I can’t buy them at the same places as you.” Jamie clasped his hands behind his head and relaxed back in his chair. “They don’t carry triple XL.”

  Kurt shook his head. He threw his cards on the table and leaned closer to the others. “I think Tony’s jealous.”

  “Pfft. I’ve got women coming out my butt.” Tony ran his hand along his muscular pecs.

  “That’s the problem.” Caden rose to his feet. “They’re not supposed to be coming out of anywhere, especially your butt. I’ll see you guys later.”

  Kurt pushed out from the table. “Hold up. I’ll walk with you. I have to get some writing done.”

  Jamie’s phone rang. He watched Jessica walk over to the pool steps and stick her toe in the water. She held on to the metal railing and stepped down onto the first stair, looking beyond sexy in her pink bathing suit. His phone rang again.

  “Get your phone, bud.” Tony pushed the ringing phone closer to Jamie.

  He answered the call from Mark, but his attention was focused on Tony as he joined Jessica on the steps of the pool. Tony’s dirty-blond hair had sun-kissed streaks of lighter blond.
His muscles glistened in the sun, and Jamie knew the way he was leaning against the concrete edge of the pool, his palms flat, elbows behind him, was a purposeful pose to pump up his enormous biceps. Bastard.

  “Sorry, Mark. What were you saying?” He’d been too busy watching Tony to catch what Mark had said.

  “Come on, Jamie. Focus. This is important. There’s something going on with the search engine, and it’s worse than we thought. A bug. Every time kids search for…” Jamie lost focus on Mark’s voice as Jessica walked into the water and Tony reached for her hand, drawing her deeper. What is he doing?

  “What do you think?” Mark asked.

  “What?” Jamie snapped, angry about Tony messing around when he knew Jamie was with Jessica. Tony never did stuff like this. Jamie didn’t know what was up with him today, but he was acting like he was looking for a fight.

  “Come on, Jamie. What are you doing? This vacation was a mistake. I told you it was. You should be here dealing with this headache,” Mark seethed.

  “It’s my first vacation in eight years, Mark.”

  Tony grabbed a raft and lifted Jessica onto it. His hands wrapped around her waist, and when she shifted, her butt was about an inch from his face. Jamie shot a look at Amy, who was scowling, unlike Bella and Jenna, who were rolling their eyes.

  “I’ve got to go, Mark. You can handle it however you see fit.” He ended the call, stalked to the deep end of the pool, and dove in. He broke the surface on the other side of Jessica’s raft and shot Tony a dark stare.

  Jessica reached for his hand. “Hi.”

  “Hey, babe. Enjoying the sun?” He shifted his eyes to Jessica. It was a good thing he was in the water, because he was getting turned on just looking at her, despite his annoyance at Tony, who swam away.

  “Yeah. It’s nice. Want to climb up with me?” She patted the raft.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  She wrinkled her brow; then her eyes bloomed wide as understanding dawned on her and she dropped her gaze to the pool with a sexy smile. “Oh.”