As she drew closer, he saw how pale she was. And she’d lost weight. He immediately had the urge to take her home and feed her, make her put her feet up and rest. But he didn’t have the right to insist she take care. Not yet.
Her eyes had been wary as she’d stared around, taking everything in. He didn’t like that she was without his protection. If she wanted to come to clubs like this, then from now on she would be on his arm.
Within five minutes of her arrival, the first vulture approached her. Brax watched, waiting. He’d interfere if necessary. Luckily, she shook her head, refusing whatever the other man offered. Relief made him light-headed, but he pulled himself together as he strode over, giving the other Dom a hard look.
The other man didn’t back down. Good for him. He wasn’t going to win, but Brax gave him kudos for trying. Holly turned, her curious gaze turning to one of shock as she saw him. Then she shut down, a mask coming over her face.
God, he had done this to her. Holly was so open, so free with her emotions, he couldn’t stand that she felt she had to shut them away to protect herself. From him.
She should always feel safe with him. Should always be able to come to him with whatever she needed.
It would take patience and time to build her trust in him, to make her understand that he would do anything to be with her. She needed gentleness and care, yes. But she also needed someone firm, a guiding hand. Part of her wanted to submit. She was looking for someone to take charge.
And Brax was determined to be that someone.
“Brax! What are you doing here?”
“I came here to see you.”
“But how?” She glanced over at Derrick. “Derrick told you I would be here, didn’t he? Why?” A flash of pain brightened her eyes.
“Don’t blame Derrick. He just wants what’s best for you and he swore to make my life hell if I hurt you again. I’m here because I need to apologize. Because I need to talk to you. I’m here because I need you.”
Pain filled her eyes before she closed herself down. He longed to take her into his arms, to keep her close and help rid her of that shuttered look, the defensive way she held herself.
“Holly, come with me. Please.” He held out his hand, opened himself up for rejection.
The other man stepped forward, placing his hand on her shoulder. Brax glared.
“You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to, Holly,” he spoke in a low rumble.
“She already said no to you,” Brax told him calmly, dropping his hand. He didn’t want to draw more attention to them and there were already a few people looking over, wondering what was happening. “You need to move on.”
The other man moved even closer. Holly stepped away; clearly she didn’t want the other man that close.
“I’m not leaving her alone with you,” the other guy said forcefully.
Brax never got involved in an argument over a sub. He always walked away. But not when it came to Holly. No more running.
Holly turned to smile at the other guy. “It’s okay, Andy, I know him. He’s an, umm, work colleague.”
Brax winced. He didn’t even merit friend. But her reassurances were enough to have Andy leaving so Brax didn’t protest.
“Holly, please.” He held out his hand again. Thankfully, she reached out and took his hand, letting him lead her to one of the quieter seating areas.
As they moved across the room, he took note of where her gaze rested. Interesting. She flinched away from the whips, looked terrified by wax and blood play yet her gaze lingered on any scene involving a sub being spanked. Or pleasured.
He sat on the sofa, bringing her to sit next to him. He allowed her some space. But not much.
“What are you doing here, Brax? I don’t understand.”
“I’m here to see you. I couldn’t get you to answer your phone or see me. I need to apologize.”
“You could have sent a text.”
He raised his brows. “No. This is a conversation I need to have face-to-face. It’s the only way to convince you to give me another chance.”
“Another chance to do what?”
“To tell you how I feel about you. I was an idiot, sweetheart. Worse than that, I hurt you. I’ve missed you terribly, Holly. I haven’t been able to think of anything else.”
She opened her mouth, but he placed a finger over her lips.
“Let me finish, I need to say this. I know I blew things, I’m only hoping you have it in your heart to give me a second chance. I lashed out at you that last night because I was so scared. You terrified me. I’m so used to controlling everything around me. But you wouldn’t let me take care of you. And I don’t blame you. I wasn’t willing to listen to what my heart was telling me.”
He brushed his fingers down her cheek, making her shiver.
“I hurt you, pushed you away and you had no reason to trust in me. I had my life planned out and I’m so stubborn I couldn’t see how stupid I was being. That it didn’t matter if things weren’t happening how I thought they should. I couldn’t see that I that the woman of my dreams was standing right before me.”
She gaped at him, her mouth opening and shutting. He smiled and placed a finger beneath her chin, pushing it up gently.
“I know this might be hard to believe but I love you. You terrify me, though,” he added more sternly. “You need a keeper, young lady, you just run around with no consideration to your safety. It’s no excuse, but I let my fear morph into anger.”
“I wasn’t trying to manipulate you that night,” she insisted. “I would never go seeking your attention that way. I knew you didn’t feel anything for me—”
He placed a finger on her mouth. “Hush, honey. I know. I was wrong to accuse you of seeking out my attention that way. These last few weeks have been torture. I hated being apart from you.”
She dropped her head as he sat there, worrying.
Then she looked at him, her eyes filled with tears. His breath caught in his throat.
“I’ve hated being apart from you, too. But I still don’t understand. Nothing has changed. I haven’t changed.”
“But I have.” He grabbed her hand. “And I’m willing to do more. To be what you need. We have some talking to do. I’ve been told by a few people that my communication skills need working on. I need to talk to you about what sort of relationship we both want. Things like where we live and what we do isn’t as important as what we mean to each other.”
He cupped her face. “You’ve lost weight, haven’t you been eating properly?”
Holly shook her head. “I haven’t felt like eating.”
“Well, that’s going to stop. I’m going to make sure you take of yourself. I know you’re a fully independent, self-sufficient woman and I admire the hell out of you. I don’t want you to be anything other than who you are. I hope you feel the same about me. There aren’t many women who would put up with my demands and the last thing I want is to scare you off.”
She stared at him intently.
“I’m not a child to be ordered around,” she warned him. “You’re not scaring me, but I wouldn’t let you take over my life.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I can’t just turn off who I am at the bedroom door. I will push you, but I expect you to let me know your limits.”
“Fair enough. I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t you.”
She loved him. Thank God.
“Even if I sometimes roast your butt?”
“Especially then. For a long time I’ve longed for a take-charge man, someone who I could just relax around and be me because I know I’m safe with him. I feel that way around you, Brax. You make me feel as though nothing could ever harm me, that I can trust you. But it was horrible when you pushed me away, I felt rejected just like…”
Matt. He had rejected her, just as her husband had.
“Honey look at me.” He waited until those beautiful eyes were fixed on him. “I’m not perfect, far from it. I will make mistakes. I want you to kn
ow, though, that I mean every word I say. Once I make a commitment I stick to it. I don’t have a lot to offer you. I own a small, rundown house and my business is just keeping itself afloat. But I promise to always be there for you.”
“I don’t need a lot and I’m perfectly capable of earning my own money.” She frowned. “It may take me a while to find a job in Waco, though.”
“Or it may take me a while to find one here.”
She leaned back, staring at him. “What?”
“If you want to stay here, I won’t make you move. I admit the city isn’t my first choice to live, but you like it here.”
“You’d move here for me?”
“In a heartbeat.”
Suddenly, she was in his lap, her arms around his neck, squeezing tight.
“Thank you. You can’t know how much it means to me that you’d do that.” She leaned back and clasped his face in her hands, planting a soft kiss on his lips. “But you don’t need to do that. I’m happy to move. I’m happy wherever I am as long as I’m with you.”
“Me too.”
They held each other for a long while.
“So,” he glanced around the club, “what would you like to try?”
“What do you mean?”
Brax narrowed his gaze, staring at her thoughtfully. “Derrick told me you’ve only been watching up until now, but you must have some idea of what you’d like to try.”
Licking her lips, Holly stared around the room. Everything in here kind of scared her, well no, that wasn’t true. Some of it scared her, other things intrigued her.
The time had finally come for her to make a decision. Could she really do this?
Brax’s eyes gentled, filling with understanding. “We can just go home if you want, baby, sit in front of the TV, maybe watch a movie with some popcorn.”
Tears filled her eyes at his understanding. But at the very least she wanted to give this a try. This was part of who Brax was and she wanted to experience it.
Be brave.
“Can I take a rain check on that?”
He looked confused for a moment before his eyes lit up.
“You sure?”
She nodded. “I-I’m kind of nervous, especially with everyone watching, but I want to try.”
Brax clasped her face with his hands. “Don’t think about anyone else. Just concentrate on me, okay?”
She nodded.
He held out his hand and she took it, her own hand cold with nerves. Brax led her around, stopping them at different areas, holding her in front of him as they watched other couples.
When they got to one of the spanking benches, Holly refused to move away. He turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised and she blushed slightly before turning to look at the bench once more. It was a scene she’d had stuck in her head for a while, where she was tied to the bench, completely helpless, legs split, arms tied in front of her, allowing Brax to do whatever he wished.
“You’re sure?” he whispered as the others walked away, leaving the bench free.
“Yes, Sir,” she replied quietly, pleased as his face lit up in pleasure. He cupped her cheek with his hand.
“Brave girl.” He led her closer.
Holly fought the nerves attacking her stomach, threatening to make her puke.
“Brax?” a deep voice called out.
She looked over as Derrick spoke from behind them.
Brax turned and looked at her best friend. “Yes, Derrick?”
“You’ve read her list of limits?”
Behind her, Brax stiffened and she tensed, worried an argument was going to develop.
Brax ran his hand down her arm. “Calm down, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay,” he whispered huskily, sending a shiver up her spine.
He turned back to Derrick. “I have. I am going to look after her.”
The tense look on Derrick’s face eased. “Good. Didn’t mean any insult.”
“You’ve been taking care of her for a long time, I understand.”
Holly frowned. She wasn’t a pet that needed to be handed from owner to owner. Although she liked the idea of belonging to someone, that person would belong to her just as much.
“I can hear you thinking from here,” Brax whispered. “He has been taking care of you and I’m grateful. Left by yourself you’d have tried to watch out for everyone else without looking after yourself.”
She tried to turn to see his face, but he kept her back firmly against his front.
“I’m not going to watch. Holly, you’re sure?” Derrick asked her.
Brax stiffened again, but he needn’t have worried, she might feel some trepidation, but she trusted Brax. Her initial fear was slowly waning.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
Derrick nodded and walked away. Brax turned her around. He cupped one side of her face. “You make me so happy,” he told her.
Leaning down, he took her mouth in a deep kiss. His lips claimed hers, branded their ownership on her and she relished every second. When he pulled back, she was breathless, swaying slightly.
“Strip off for me, baby.”
Brax watched Holly, saw the moment her arousal dissipated and fear took over.
“W-what?”
“Strip. I want you naked.” This time he injected some steel into his voice. He didn’t want to scare her, but it was important she follow his commands. He needed her to trust him.
She bit her lip. “Everyone will see.”
He knew what she was talking about. “Look at me.”
Waiting patiently until she raised her gaze, he ran his finger down her cheek. “Do you know what they’ll see? A beautiful, amazing woman who has been through so much and come out the other side with her head held high. There is no shame here, you walk with your shoulders back and head high, understand?”
“I-I’ll try, but it’s not that easy.”
The worry in her eyes made his heart ache, and he found himself relenting. Those eyes of hers had the ability to turn him into a pile of mush. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for her.
“Do you have underwear on?” he asked her.
Her jaw dropped slightly. “Of course.”
He chuckled. She was in a club filled with naked men and women and she was outraged that he’d asked if she had underwear on.
Brax brushed her hair off her face. “Since this is so new to you, I’m going to let you keep your panties and bra on, but the rest comes off, Holly.”
There was no flexibility in his voice.
Holly stared at him for a moment longer and he kept his face firm as he waited patiently.
Finally, hands trembling slightly, she reached for her top, dragging it off, over her head.
Smooth, olive skin was revealed inch by inch until she was standing topless before him, breathing heavily. Her breasts, cupped by a bright pink bra, moved up and down with each breath.
“Now the pants,” he half-growled, his cock pressing against his pants. He was starting to wonder if this had been a bad idea, perhaps he should have insisted on the movie. His control was shot. The need to bend her over the bench and take her pounded through him.
She undid her pants then glanced up at him, obviously hoping for a reprieve and he nearly relented. He knew how hard this was for her, felt her pain, but it was time she got past this shame she felt about her body. He wanted her to feel as beautiful as she truly was.
So he simply raised an eyebrow and continued to watch on, his body relaxed. Her worry helped him push back his arousal. She needed him in control of himself.
Holly pushed her pants down. Brax crouched to help her out of them. “Hold onto me,” he ordered as she raised one foot then the other. “Brace off as well.”
A shudder rushed through her, but she obeyed him, taking off the brace. Brax stood then circled her, taking in every delicious inch.
“Shoulders back, honey. Chin up. You’re so beautiful.” She was. He meant every word. He ignored the people watching, although he knew they were there.
>
Tonight wasn’t for him, not really. He hated the shame she felt, that she thought herself less beautiful than others because of her scars.
“You’re mine now, baby,” he told her, running his fingers through her hair then down her face and neck, between her breasts. “All mine. I’m not ever letting you go now.”
Her gaze shot to his, her eyes fierce. “And you’re mine,” she replied.
A surprised smile crossed his face, even as his heart tightened, falling deeper for her.
“Yes, I am. All yours. Now, do you remember what to say if you want everything to stop?”
“Red.”
“To slow things down?”
“Yellow.”
“Very good. I’m going help you onto the bench now. No talking unless I ask you a question or you need to use one of those words. Understand?”
Biting her lip, she nodded. A little worry was a good thing, but he’d be monitoring her carefully to make sure she wasn’t too frightened.
That was the very last thing he wanted.
When he was with her, Holly had to know that he would always protect her.
The bench was more like a saw horse that they used in gymnastics. It was solid and wooden except for the padded leather top, leg and arm rests.
Brax lifted her on, watching for any signs that this position was hurting her leg.
He brushed her hair back as he crouched before her. “Baby, listen to me.”
She opened those gorgeous blue eyes to stare at him.
“If you feel any discomfit I want you to let me know straight away, okay?”
Her brow crinkled. “Isn’t that why I’m here? So you can whack on my butt? Pretty sure that will be discomfiting.”
Brax tried to keep his face stern, but couldn’t keep his lips from twitching at her sassy comeback. “You know what I’m talking about, brat. I want that butt to be the only part of you hurting, understand?” This time he managed to interject some steel into his voice and she nodded.
“Answer me out loud.”
“Yes, Sir,” she replied.
“Good girl.”
Standing, he took note of how tense she was. That wouldn’t do. Brax ran his hands over her back, rubbing gently, soothingly, until he felt her relax, tension melting away.
His Old-Fashioned Love (Old-Fashioned Series) Page 12
