by C. E. Wilson
“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” Brynne replied in a happy murmur. She wriggled in his grip, angling herself so she had access to his face hanging overhead. She reached up and cupped his chin with both hands, her arms completely outstretched. “I’m glad I found you.” Her minuscule fingers stroked over his skin. “I keep thinking to myself, I don’t know what’s going to happen with us in the long run. I won’t get my hopes up too high. I think, I mean I want you to know…” She took a breath and pushed away, looking him directly in the eye. “No matter what happens, you’ll always be my angel.”
Carter flushed harder and deeper than he thought was ever possible. He cleared his throat awkwardly and tried to choke out a laugh. It was half-hearted. “O-Oh,” he stammered. “Is that right? I’m that great, huh? You’re not so bad yourself.” He dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head before he pulled her away, still somewhat embarrassed and getting used to the fact that an elf could have such an effect on him.
“Here,” he said. “Try out the bed and let me know what you think. Aunt Heather is obsessed with Christmas so that explains the flannel sheets and Christmas tree quilt.” He laughed awkwardly as she fluffed the closest pillow. “I’ll admit, this is a pretty big bed for an elf.”
“Carter,” Brynne said, said as she walked across the massive bed towards him.
“Hmm… what?”
“Did I say something to make you uncomfortable?”
“No! Why would you think that?” He reached over and started to pull the sheet and quilt away from the bed so she could snuggle herself in.
“Because you’re being weird.”
“I’m not!” Carter stammered. “I’m trying to help you, uh, get ready for bed. We can watch a movie tonight if you’d like. Anything you like. Aunt Heather keeps all the holiday movies in the family room. You have to tell me what you’d like.”
“Carter.”
“I’ll just go grab a few—”
“Carter!”
He froze and slowly turned to look at her. “What?” When Brynne merely arched a brow, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry,” he blurted. “This is a lot to take in. You living here with my aunt and uncle. Meeting you finally. Being in here alone with you in a bedroom with a bed. And then you called me an angel...” he trailed off as he collapsed to his knees in front of the bed.
He felt childish and embarrassed for voicing his worries, but he wanted to believe that for all the times he hadn’t judged her, Brynne wouldn’t judge him.
“You think I’m so great and I don’t ever want to let you down,” he murmured into his arms. “And I’m still getting used to the fact that you’re an elf.” He clenched his fists.
“Carter—”
“And there’s more.”
“More?”
He nodded into the quilt. “I want to kiss you and I’m not even sure how,” Carter muttered, forcing Brynne’s eyes to widen. “Like a real kiss. Ugh! Ignore me, I’m such an embarrassing letdown.”
With quiet steps that barely disturbed the ripples of blankets, Brynne approached Carter’s hunched form. She rested one hand on his folded arm, the other tentatively running through a section of his fluffy chestnut hair. She continued the motion, trying to be the one to lend comfort, instead of the other way around.
“Carter,” she spoke after a few minutes of this. “You couldn’t let me down. Not after all you’ve done for me. You went out of your way for an elf – one of Santa’s Rejects. You saved me from freezing to death.”
Carter’s shoulders visibly tensed.
“Brynne, I—”
“You saved me from loneliness,” she said over him. “You’ve gone out of your way to help me, to cheer me up, to make me feel special. You haven’t let me down in any way.”
He inhaled and exhaled loudly when those tentative fingertips brushed through his thick, overly long hair. Her warm words washed over him and meant more than anything else he could have ever imagined. She wasn’t fawning over him, she believed that he was a good person, and he felt like a fool for making her feel like anything less than how he saw her.
Brynne continued in a timid voice. “It’s such a shame people have the hardest time finding the best in themselves. I’m not putting you on a pedestal here. So you can relax.”
Brynne couldn’t see the smile that crossed his face.
“So if I’m relaxed, does that mean I can try?” he asked into his crossed arms. The stroking through his hair came to an abrupt halt.
“Try?” Brynne sputtered. “Try what?”
“Can I try to kiss you again?” he said, making sure his face was hidden. “Please?”
“I’d like that.” she said, wishing she could be dashing instead of shy, and Carter raised his head all the same.
She stepped over his crossed arms and sat on them facing him. They lingered at a breath’s distance, testing the intimacy. Brynne lifted her head, and shut her eyes to surrender to the moment.
She kissed him gently, and suddenly she was warm.
The kiss was far from unnatural or strange. It felt right in a way.
“Thank you,” he said, pulling back for a moment.
“For what?” Brynne breathed.
“Hold still a moment,” Carter muttered. He started to move his arms a bit. “I want to try holding you when we kiss.”
“Alright,” Brynne said, her voice as hushed as ever. She steadied herself as Carter pulled his hands away and cupped one hand around her waist and the other behind her head. His thumbs smoothed over her shirt, pushing the fabric away so he could touch her skin. Brynne shuddered.
“Is that okay?” Carter asked again. “I’m sorry I keep asking—”
“No, please don’t be sorry,” Brynne said, swallowing hard. “I’m glad you do.” She wrapped her hands around Carter’s thumb as it smoothed across her smooth and porcelain-like cheeks. “And it feels...”
“Okay?” Carter asked, leaning closer again. The tip of one thumb brushed her lips as he licked his own.
“It – it feels incredible!” Brynne exclaimed in a breathless whisper.
“You can tell me what you want. What I can do to make this better.” He smiled as he closed his eyes, barely touching his forehead to hers. “I think we’re still getting used to this, but I’d like to keep getting used to it. Tell me what you want.”
Brynne’s mind reeled as Carter grew more confident. Had he touched other girls like this before? He certainly seemed to have a better mind about such romantic notions than she did. She arched her back as his fingers closed more around her middle, making her feel tiny and oh-so-wanted at the same time.
She leaned her head back, exposing more of her pale skin to him. “Just keep doing what you’re doing,” she urged gently, clutching his thumb.
“Bossy,” Carter said with a chuckle. He wanted to make a comment about how cute he found it, but he wasn’t sure how she would react to such a compliment. He wanted to make her feel like a woman. Hell, even he was trying to remind himself that she was a woman and not some fragile being who needed to be treated like glass. He smiled as he closed his eyes and his lips found the thin and delicate skin over her throat.
“I am not,” Brynne squealed as she writhed in his grasp.
“Nothing wrong with being a little bossy,” he said, kissing her again.
His hands wrapped more securely around her waist and he rose up to his knees on the floor. He arched his neck and chin downward so he could surround her completely and cupped her back to edge her into his embrace. With his eyes closed and her lips pressed against his, he could almost imagine that the girl he was holding wasn’t an elf.
“What does it even matter?” he grunted as Brynne’s feet suddenly left the surface of the bed and she was airborne.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing,” Carter murmured. He held her close to his chest so he could stand and he dipped and kissed her wherever his lips found purchase. “You really are beautiful,” he whispered, adding a ki
ss with each word. “So. Freaking. Beautiful.”
“Sorry I took so long—” a woman’s voice broke in then broke off suddenly.
Carter made a sound between a grunt and a cough and almost dropped the small girl, who yelped. He turned slowly to find a red-faced Heather standing in the doorway with a large basket of fabric in her heavy arms.
“I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I thought you were looking at the room! I didn’t think!”
“No Aunt Heather, I’m sorry!” Carter cried, setting Brynne down and running to take the basket from her arms. “It was nothing. Here! Let me help you.” He took the basket from her unresisting arms. “I was showing Brynne, uh...” His eyes trailed over to Brynne’s, begging for help explaining things, but Brynne was standing rigidly on the bed, her face alternating between very pale and very red. She looked at him and her mouth started to work.
“I-it just happened! I – we were just – I mean – sorry,” she babbled, then fell back into silence and looked at her feet.
Aunt Heather let out a long sigh. “It’s been a while since I walked in on that.” She looked between the two of them.
Carter followed his aunt’s expression with a beet red face. “Aunt Heather,” he stammered. “I’m sorry—”
“We both are!” Brynne chimed in. “Please! Don’t throw me out—”
“Throw you out?” Now Aunt Heather was the one who looked mortified.
“Yes… please don’t. I swear, it won’t happen again.”
“Brynne, what kind of woman to you think I am?” Heather’s frown grew more pronounced as she took a seat on the end of the bed and patted the spot next to her.
Brynne eyed the motion, understanding immediately what she wanted and swallowed hard. With trembling hands, she did as the older woman wordlessly requested and sat on the opposite end of the king size bed and looked over. “Mrs. Holly, I’m sorry again.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Heather said quietly. “I told you, I was just surprised. I had a feeling you and Carter were more than friends.” A blush crossed her full cheeks. “Am I right to think that?”
“Aunt Heather—” Carter started.
“Carter, I asked Brynne. Why don’t you run down and gather up some movies for our guest, hmm? I believe you were the one who said she didn’t like too much quiet. Feel free to take your time.”
Carter faltered, but her tone left no room for argument. “Yes. I’ll be right back.” He spared a quick apologetic looks towards Brynne before he left the room, leaving the two women.
As Brynne watched him leave, anxiety gripped her chest so tightly that her breathing became difficult. She fiddled with her hands on her lap, nervously glancing up at Heather.
“You’re not mad at me?” Brynne finally asked.
“What exactly would I be mad about?” Her voice was calm. “I raised four boys. I’ve walked in on them doing much worse, trust me.”
“Carter is your nephew,” Brynne said.
“I don’t think that changes much.” Her eyebrows pushed together. “Is there something else you’re worried about that you’re not telling me?”
“It’s just… I swear I don’t have magic, I didn’t bewitch him or anything. We just like each other, I think.” A large warm hand rested gently on her back.
“He’s old enough to be doing a little kissing,” Heather said. “And you’re sweeter than any girl I could’ve hoped to catch his eye. Much nicer than some of the girls my own picked out.”
Brynne felt her voice become small. “I just don’t want you to hate me because I’m an elf. I’m not human like those other girls and I never will be.”
“I’m not an ogre, Brynne,” Heather said with what she hoped was a kind look. “And I know this is a lot to take in. For what it’s worth, I’m not about to stop you from finding some happiness hidden in the darkness. I know a thing or two about hopelessness and despair, and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.” Her eyes turned a slight bit sad and she smoothed her thumb up and down Brynne’s slender back.
“Did something happen to you?” Brynne croaked.
“You need to eat more,” Heather said. “I can feel your spine.” Her eyes grew distant as she looked at the wall. “It was about eight years ago I found out I was going to have another child. I didn’t think it was possible. I was over forty! I thought my child bearing days were over and I had mixed feelings about the whole thing until I found out I was having a girl. After four sons, God had finally blessed me with a daughter.” She smiled to herself as she removed her hand from Brynne’s back.
“I named her Ethel,” she said. “Horrible name for a girl, but it was after my grandmother. She had six girls and I wanted to pay an honor to her. Pregnancy was a nightmare, but Ethel was the best girl I could have ever asked for. Especially with my boys flexing their wings, I had someone who needed my constant love and attention other than Jeremy, of course.” She shook her head. “It was right around this time of year when it happened. I suppose I was never meant to have a daughter.” She flinched as something brushed against the outside of her thigh. She glanced down with surprise to notice Brynne had, at some point during her story, slid closer to her.
“You don’t have to say anymore,” Brynne said. “Please, Heather. You don’t have to say anymore.”
“It gives you a perspective on life. Life and happiness and what it all means. We’ve only got one, and holding back does nothing but waste the gift that we’ve been given.”
“I’m sorry,” Brynne breathed. A silence drew out, and she rubbed Heather’s leg reassuringly. “I can’t imagine your pain, but I know what it’s like to lose your family. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through… what you’re still going through.”
“Yes,” Heather said. “It took time and love to get through it. Losing a daughter was difficult, but I still have all my boys. I have my husband. I couldn’t imagine losing them all at once like you did with your family.”
“We don’t need to talk about that.”
“Not today, but I hope we can. Holding it in only works for so long. Carter’s led a charmed life, so he doesn’t understand loss or sadness. You and I, we do, and I want you to feel you can open up to me.”
Brynne nodded, barely believing her ears. Could humans and elves really understand each other like this? “I’d like that.”
Heather nodded, dabbing at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. “Can you believe this is better than I used to be? Just a few years ago, I couldn’t stand the holidays. I’m much better now, but it’s still hard. I can’t imagine losing it all at once, so please don’t think I don’t know how lucky I am. I have four wonderful boys who I love more than anything in the world. All my life I wanted a girl. I wanted a girl who I could shower with pink and purple and spoil rotten. I wanted to buy all the fluffy, girl clothing in the world and paint walls like cotton candy. I’ve spent my entire life going to football games, cleaning muddy faces and chasing frogs out of the kitchen. Ethel was my dream.”
“I completely understand,” Brynne said, pulling away to look up at her. “There’s nothing quite like a little girl.”
“No, there’s not,” Heather continued. “There’s also nothing quite like a family. Which is why I’m happy you’re here, Brynne. I think we can help each other, if that’s not being too forward.”
“It’s not,” Brynne breathed. “No. Not at all.”
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s wonderful to have you in my home. And though I know you’re not a child, I hope you’ll indulge me once in a while. Maybe we could go to the mall sometime and you could pick out some outfits you like. I’ll have you know I’m a fantastic sewer. I can make anything you like.”
“Oh, no!” Brynne squeaked. “You don’t have to do that, Heather. In public, no less. I couldn’t—”
“Brynne, I know how poorly made most elf clothes are, but I’ll not take no for an answer. You need some clothes that fit that don’t
have holes in them. This is not up for discussion.”
“I don’t want you to go through anymore hardships because of me.”
“You should just agree,” Carter called from the doorway.
They looked up to see him leaning on the door with a few movies in his hand.
“Once Heather wants to make something cutesy, there’s no stopping her. You should tell her what you like, Brynne. It’ll make everything easier for all of us.” He winked at the two of them.
“I don’t want to put you through any more trouble,” Brynne said, her resolve cracking.
Heather looked at Brynne with a serious expression. “You are a guest in my home right now, and anyone who stays under my roof is treated like family. No exceptions.”
Brynne looked up, her eyes glistening, and she smiled. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
Heather’s big, soft hands wrapped around her. Her embrace was nothing like Carter’s. Heather was as soft as a down feather pillow. Brynne was shocked to find herself relaxing in the gentle hold that smelled like apples, sugar, and butter. A warm glow, like firelight, seemed to flicker in the room.
After a time, Heather pulled her away and set her back on her feet upon the taut bedspread. The room seemed to darken.
“I’ll get you two some water for bedtime,” she said, rising to her feet. “Carter, help her set up the room.”
“Can do,” Carter said with a salute as his aunt shuffled past. He watched her with a smile as she left the room.
“She’s kind,” Brynne said.
“She likes you. I knew she would.”
“She wants to make me clothes.”
“I overheard. Heather’s real good at sewing.” He took a seat on the end of the bed.
Like a moth drawn to a flame, Brynne waded across the bed to sit next to him. Peering at the pile of movies, she tilted her head. “Are we going to watch one of those tonight?” she asked carefully.
“Hmm? Oh! Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you about something first.” He set the pile of movies behind him and sat up straight. “Brynne—”
