by Shirley Jump
Colton should have been pleased with the work he had done, the changes he had brought to this little corner of the world, but something was missing. No, not something. Someone.
Was he really going to wait for her to come to him? Or was he just going to go take the risk, tell Rachel how he felt and then see where it went from there?
A few minutes later he was standing outside Rachel’s apartment door. He knocked then waited, as nervous as a seventh grader heading to his first dance. She pulled open the door, looking sexier than he’d ever seen her in a pair of yoga pants and an oversize tee that hid her curves, but left his memory to fill in the blanks. “Sorry for coming by so late, but I really wanted to see you.”
“It’s fine.” She smiled that dazzling smile that nearly took his breath away. “Do you want to come in?”
“I do. Very much.” He pulled his hand out from behind his back. “These are for you. They’re not as nice as the ones I got from the flower shop, but I picked these myself. I’m hoping they weren’t anyone’s in particular, or you are going to have a very angry Stone Gap resident on your door in the morning.”
“They’re beautiful.” She took the bouquet of wildflowers, a jumble of pinks and purples and yellows, and brought it to her nose. “Where did you find them?”
“Remember that old, abandoned haunted house you showed me? I had seen them in the back of the house that night, and I thought that if flowers could grow in a place like that, one that had been neglected for so long, that maybe there was hope for anything to grow in this place. Or anyone. Like me.” He stepped inside her apartment and nudged the door shut. He decided to just get straight to why he was there. No more delaying—hadn’t he put everything on hold long enough? “I’ve gone a long time with just...standing still. I want more, Rachel.”
“More? Like what more?”
“Like a future with you. I know it’s too soon, and too fast, and a thousand other things, but I started falling for you hard from the very first day. I mean, how many women does a man meet who are beautiful, talented at fishing and fabulous shortstops?” He grinned. “You’re one of a kind, Rachel Morris.”
He’d realized on the way over here that he didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t, in fact, want to spend another day without her. He loved the way she lit his heart when she smiled, the way she asked more out of him and made him expect more of himself, the way she surprised him with things like the tour of the town or a little-known fact about herself. She was everything he’d always been looking for—even if he didn’t realize that until he found it.
“A future?” Her eyes were wide, and she was shaking her head. “You’re right. This is too soon and too fast and—”
“And what are you afraid of?”
She let out a gust. “There you go again, assuming everything is about me being afraid.”
“Fight or flight, isn’t that the old adage? Most of us either fight against what we don’t want or run from it, but in almost all cases, that comes out of fear.” He took her hands in his. “I’m scared as hell that I am going to screw this up with you. That you’re going to look at me and think, What am I doing with this clown?”
She laughed. “I could never think that. For one, you don’t have a red nose.”
That made him laugh, too. It eased the tension in the room and all this seriousness of his. “I’m pretty sure I can buy one, if that’s your thing.”
“I have more of a thing for firefighters.” A teasing grin lit her face, her eyes. “Especially ones who know how to fish.”
“Whoops. Guess that rules me out.” He held tight to her hands and inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume. “Unless you’re okay with a slightly damaged firefighter who is eager to learn how to fish?”
She smiled up at him, one of those hundreds of smiles that he could draw in his sleep. “That could work.”
“Good.” He swept her into his arms and kissed her. A long, sweet kiss that seemed to make time stop. She tasted of vanilla and chocolate, like a candy that he had been long denied. And when she curved against his body, it was as if the missing piece he’d been looking for was fitting right there against his heart. Damn, he was falling, and falling hard for Rachel.
“So, what do you say we start the future simply?” he said. “Come with me to Bobby and Della’s anniversary party tomorrow night. It’s a casual thing, just close family and friends at the Sea Shanty.”
She pulled out of his arms and crossed the room. “Colton, I don’t know if we should have a future. I mean, you’re right, this is moving fast and I am afraid. Who wouldn’t be? We barely know each other. What if it doesn’t work out? Do you know how many weddings I’ve gone to, only to see the divorce announcement in the paper before the year is up?”
“But how many have you gone to and that didn’t happen?” he asked. “Rachel, there are no guarantees in life. There’s only taking a chance.”
“I don’t like taking chances. I like to know what is coming tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that.” She let out a breath. “It’s why...it’s why I stayed at the store instead of keeping my business going. Part of that was for my dad, yes, but part of it was because I was scared that I could fail.”
“Me, too, Rachel. I’m just as scared as you. But I’m tired of letting that fear rule all my decisions. Life is short,” he said softly. “I don’t want to live another minute of it being afraid.”
“I know that, and tell myself I feel the same way, but when it comes to actually moving past those fears...” She bit her lip. “Working for yourself means taking a risk every single day. For me, that was like jumping out of a building every day. It scared me, and when I had a chance to stop doing that...I took it. Now I’m looking at being able to go back to my business, and frankly I’m scared as hell.”
“Scared of succeeding? Or scared of failure?”
She let out a breath. “Both. And now you want me to take a chance with my heart. That’s...even more fragile. And even scarier.”
“You can’t know, Rachel, if this will work out between us or not, if you don’t take that chance.” He took her hands again and drew her closer. “So take that chance with me.”
* * *
Rachel had made up an excuse to avoid answering Colton’s question, and to get him out of her apartment. Okay, yeah, it was the coward’s way out, but she just needed some room to breathe, to think. She could see everything she’d ever wanted—ever dreamed of—within reach, yet she hesitated on going after it? What the heck was wrong with her?
“You’re an idiot,” Melissa said later that night, while she wrangled her squirmy baby back into a seated position and tried to give her son a bottle. He batted it away. “And I mean that in the nicest way.”
“Gee, thanks.” Rachel picked up one of the tiny T-shirts in the basket of clean laundry beside the armchair and folded it. Melissa’s house was a comfortable mess, the kind of place that said home, with toys on the floor and a box of Cheerios on the counter, and the kids playing a video game on the TV across the room. “What made you say yes when Jason proposed?”
“Between you and me? A really good bottle of Chardonnay. I was just a tad—” she lowered her voice “—tipsy when he proposed. The next morning I woke up with a hangover and a total panic attack.”
“You did? You never told me that.” Rachel kept on folding. There was something cathartic about watching the jumbled laundry become straight, even piles.
“I did, indeed. I was a mess for about twenty-four hours,” Melissa said. “I was so sure Jason and I would end up—” she lowered her voice again “—d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d, like my parents. And there was no way I wanted to go through that.”
“Then what made you change your mind?”
“A Post-it note.” Melissa let out a little laugh. “Jason had left me a note on my car the next morning, on a Post-it note, and
he said sometimes the best things came out of what seemed like the biggest mistakes. And he told me to look up the story of those little sticky notes.”
“Really?”
Melissa held up a hand. “Cross my heart. So I did it. And do you know that the guy who invented them was actually trying to mix up a batch of glue, when he failed, or so he thought, and made an adhesive that could be applied and reapplied. It took him a bit, but then he thought of putting that glue on a piece of paper, and voilà, the sticky note was born. He took a risk, and it worked out pretty darn well for him.”
“You got married because of that?”
“Well, that and the fact that Jason has a hot body and can—” she glanced at her kids “—uh, make me...happy like it’s an Olympic sport.” Melissa winked.
Rachel laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s that last one that swayed you the most.”
“Honestly? It was the note. I had turned him down when he first proposed, but that man kept coming back. He refused to give up. He told me that we were meant to be, and he was going to spend the rest of his life proving it.”
And he had, given how happy Melissa seemed. Yes, they had their stresses with the kids and the mortgage and life in general, but Rachel couldn’t remember a day when she hadn’t seen Melissa smiling. Every time her friend spoke about her husband, it was with that special little smile, the one that said she’d entered an exclusive club.
“That firefighter is a genuinely nice guy,” Melissa said. “And he’s worth a hundred sticky notes, if you ask me.”
“But is it the right time?” Rachel started folding faster, as if increasing the pile of T-shirts and leggings would make the rest of her worried mind fall into order, too. “I’m debating whether to relaunch my business. I have Ginny’s wedding, if I want to take that on, but what if that takes too much of my time or it fails or—”
Melissa put a hand on top of Rachel’s, halting the furious folding. “There’s always going to be a but and a what-if,” she said. “And as much as I love the fact that you are taking care of my laundry tonight, I think you need to quit worrying and start doing. Because I think your biggest problem—and I mean this in the nicest way...”
“What?” Rachel prompted.
“You don’t believe in the very thing you are creating.” Melissa gave Rachel a wry smile. “You have to believe in happily-ever-after to pull it off successfully. Both for others and for yourself.”
“I do believe in...” Rachel paused. “Okay, maybe I don’t. I mean, look at my parents. Married for almost thirty years, and I don’t know if they were ever truly happy. The Barlows—everyone would call Bobby and Della the happiest couple in this town, yet they went through a period where Bobby had someone else.”
“But he came back to Della and has made a wonderful family here. He made a mistake. That’s all.”
“How many happy couples do we know, Melissa? Even in my business, at least a third of them end up divorced.”
“That’s not your fault.”
“No, but it doesn’t exactly make me believe that a ring is any kind of guarantee.”
“It isn’t.” Melissa shrugged. “That’s the truth of it. No ring or piece of paper or vow in front of a priest is any guarantee that your life together will be happy or that your marriage will last. All you can do is take that leap, have faith and then work like hell—” she glanced at her kids “—I mean, heck, at keeping it together.”
Faith. It was what Rachel had told Colton to have. What she had seen in Winona and Charles’s story. And the one thing it seemed she lacked. So she went on folding shirts and leggings and pretending that she wasn’t mostly afraid that she was going to miss out on something wonderful if she didn’t take that leap.
Chapter Fifteen
Dinner with the Barlow family was, apparently, always an adventure. That was one thing Colton learned pretty quickly. The Sunday meal was held a little earlier than usual, due to the anniversary party scheduled for that evening, but that didn’t matter. And with Jack, Luke, Mac and Colton all in the same house, the entire event was raucous and loud and really gave Colton a feel for what it must have been like to have grown up in a house with dozens of siblings.
He loved every minute of it. He had seconds of the lasagna, he ate dessert and he joked with his brothers as if they had always been together.
Jack and Colton offered to wash the dishes while Mac and Luke cleaned up the dining room, leaving Bobby and Della to get ready for their party. Meri had left early, along with Luke and Mac’s fiancées, to finish decorating the Sea Shanty for the event.
Jack started the water running then glanced over his shoulder to see if his parents had left the room. “Did you think Dad and my mom seemed a little off tonight?”
Bobby had been distracted at dinner, and Della had barely talked to her husband. They’d each talked to the boys, but the easy camaraderie that he’d witnessed before with Bobby and Della wasn’t there. “Yeah. But then again, I don’t know them well enough to know what normal is.”
“Luke and Mac said Dad’s been kind of distant lately, and that they’ve hardly seen Mom.” Jack shook his head. “What happened in the week I was gone?”
“Nothing that I know of,” Colton said. “Except for...well, except for me showing up in town. I’m sure it’s been tough on your mother to have me around, a constant reminder of what happened years ago.”
“Yeah, that could be it, but I’m not so sure. I just hope...” Jack let out a breath, and started loading the dishes into the soapy water. “I hope they work it out. They’ve got more than three decades together.”
“You talking about Dad and Mom?” Luke said, as he set a pile of dirty plates on the counter. “Whatever’s up, neither one of them is talking about it. But I heard...”
“What?” Jack said when Luke didn’t finish.
“I don’t know if I should even say anything.” Luke let out a long breath.
“If you don’t, I’ll have to use the sprayer on you.” Jack brandished the black nozzle.
Luke feigned fear and put his hands up to protect his hair. “Oh, no, not that. Anything but the sprayer!”
Jack laughed and slid it back into place. “Okay, okay, your hairdo is safe with me, Elvis. What did you hear?”
The tease dropped from Luke’s face and his blue eyes filled with worry. “Mom has been talking to George Wilcox, the Realtor. She even went to see a few properties this week.”
If Colton could have packed up and left town right that second, he would have. This was all his fault—he never should have come to town and upset the apple cart. Now he’d taken a job in Stone Gap, which meant he’d be a constant reminder to Della of what Bobby had done three decades ago. If their marriage broke up because of his presence—
“Maybe I should skip the party tonight,” he said to his brothers.
“No, don’t do that,” Jack said. “I’m sure whatever this is with my parents will blow over before then. They’ve had fights before, but they always resolve them.”
“I hope you’re right,” Colton said. He picked up a dish and dried it, then replaced it in the cabinet. He’d come to Stone Gap to make a change in his own life, but it seemed everywhere he turned, he was causing changes in other people’s lives. And not necessarily the kind they wanted.
* * *
Bobby stood in the Sea Shanty and looked at his friends and his kids and wondered if he shouldn’t just send them all home. He was supposed to be celebrating his thirty-fifth wedding anniversary, but it felt more like a funeral of his marriage. Della had barely talked to him all weekend, and when they’d first arrived, she’d gone off to talk to the
local Realtor.
Bobby wasn’t a smart man, but he was no moron, either. He knew what it meant if Della was looking at real estate. Now he just needed to confront her on it, before this party got too far underway. The last thing he wanted to do was stand around for four hours, letting people congratulate him on a marriage that was over.
He found Della standing on the outdoor deck, looking out at the water. She looked stunning tonight, in a sequined navy blue dress that skimmed her knees. She’d put her hair up and little curls dusted along her neck. She had on a pair of dangly earrings that swayed a bit in the breeze. “You look beautiful, Della,” he said when he came up beside her.
She turned and smiled at him. “Why, thank you, Robert. You look dashing yourself. Exactly the same as the day we got married.”
“Well, maybe a little more of me than the day we got married.” He patted his belly beneath the button-down shirt and tie that felt more like a boa constrictor on his neck. But ties made Della happy, so he’d worn one without complaint.
“That’s fine,” she said. “There’s more of you to love.”
“Is there?” He screwed up his courage and let out a breath. “I saw you talking to George. I know you’re hiding something from me and if you’re leaving me, Della, then just tell me straight out so we don’t go through this sham—”
“I bought a house.”
Bobby’s heart shattered. He could have driven a samurai sword through his chest and it would have hurt less. “A...a house? When?”
“Yesterday. Don’t worry, I didn’t use our retirement savings. I used that money my mother left me when she died. I’ve had it in that CD for years, and it was just enough to buy the Richardson house.”
The Richardson house? That dilapidated piece of crap about ready to cave in? “Wait. The one that Gareth guy owned? The one that’s supposed to be haunted?”
