by Anna Katmore
The bloody wretch wouldn’t even turn in my direction.
“Dammit, Julian, would you please look at me?”
First, only his eyes switched to mine, but then his head angled and he gazed at me directly. However, his lips remained sealed.
“Why don’t we just pretend that little nothing which happened Sunday morning really was nothing and we go back to what we were before?” I rubbed my hands over my face. “I really could do with a friend here, you know.”
As my words sunk in, his puzzled expression began to relax, as did the distance he’d put between us. Slowly, he skirted the bed to my right. He slumped down and leaned against the headboard. Arms crossed over his chest and legs stretched out on the mattress, he studied the far wall. “I didn’t make it very easy for you to feel at home here, did I?” The socks on his feet swayed like a metronome.
I gazed at him over my shoulder. “You did brilliantly until Sunday morning.”
“Is it too late to say I’m sorry?” His deep blue eyes reflected the honesty of his words.
A smile crept to my mouth faster than I could stop it. “I’d die to hear those words from you for once.”
“Ah, God forbid I say them twice.” His mocking laugh filled both the room and me with joy. Hand cupping my neck, he pulled me toward him. Astonished but without hesitation, I nestled on his chest and let his hand rest softly on my shoulder.
Oh. My. God.
Okay, he seemingly agreed to be friends again. And body contact between friends was absolutely fine. No need to go hysterical over it. Deep breaths, Jona. And—oh, he smelled so bloody delicious.
I went rigid in his arms, concentrating on staying calm. But with my fevered heart pounding in my ears it was hard to even hear the music coming from the iPod.
“Can I ask you something?” Whiskers tickled my skin when his chin rubbed against my forehead as he spoke.
“Shoot.” My voice cracked at this one little word.
“What did you and Valentine talk about yesterday?” He emphasized each word separately.
“Oh, you don’t want to know.” Laughing, I twisted in his hold to gaze at his face.
From under his lashes, he regarded me with intrigued eyes. But he accepted my answer. The strong beat of his heart resonated in a calm rhythm against my palm. He must have been used to girls lying in his arms, because obviously I didn’t make him nervous one bit. Unlike me, an agitated shooting star, he seemed the quiet center of my galaxy. And with just as many secrets.
I figured this was the right moment for some investigation. “Do I get a free question now?”
“Mm-hm.” Underneath his sweater, firm abs twitched with the word.
“Have you always cared for people like my mother?”
“Yes.”
“And do you always stay with them until they die?”
Blinking twice, he seemed to contemplate his answer. “With some of them. Others I attended to for only a few weeks.”
“Until they recovered from their illness?”
“Until they got on with their situations.” Julian bent one knee and put one arm behind his head. “It’s not always terminal care I do. In fact, cases like your mother are the exception.”
Oh. So, my mother was a special case.
“What’s your employing agency called?” Maybe I could find some information about it on the Internet. On the ancient computer in the orphanage, I had learned how to Google things.
His lips curved on one side and he twitched his brows once as if to say, you would so like to know that, wouldn’t you?
“So?” I pressed.
“So, it’s not really an agency. It’s more, let’s say… an association. We like to call ourselves Supporters.”
“The Supporters Association. I guess that name fits, considering how you’re kind of playing angels for ill people.”
The second half of his mouth curled up, too, and he rolled his eyes sweetly.
“Do you like your boss?” Somehow, I envisioned the head of the society like a nun, all in black-and-white penguin wear.
“He’s a very charismatic guy.”
“And is the headquarters here in France?”
“You have a lot of questions, young lady.” His mocking tone of scolding ignited a sensual shiver down my back.
“Yeah, I know. Sorry.” I flashed my cutest grin. “Now, is it?”
His chuckle shook me on his chest and reverberated through my head. “No. It’s farther north.”
My curiosity rose. “England?”
“Way farther up.”
“That could be any of a million places, including the North Pole. So, where is it?”
“You never give up, do you?”
“And you never give a straight answer. Do you?” I liked how he laughed at that. But his evasion of my questions irritated me. What was so confidential about the location of this association? Maybe I would need to Google it after all. If an Internet connection existed in this house, anyway.
Because we both fell silent and I already missed the sound of him talking, I came up with a new question. “What did you do before you joined the group?”
Julian sniffed then cleared his throat. “The usual.”
And that would be what? “Like school and college and stuff?”
“Yeah. And stuff.”
Was I getting this wrong, or was he suddenly trying to stop me from prodding? An awkward annoyance gripped me as I strained to hear more about his life. “How old are you?”
“How old do you think I am?”
“Hm.” I thoroughly studied his face. “Twenty-one?”
Julian held my gaze for a second, a grin coming to the surface that had little to do with amusement. “Good guess.”
Taking this for a yes, I snuggled deeper into his hold and his arm tightened around me. “Was there ever a moment in your life where you felt utterly comfortable, with no thought about the rest of the world, or what life still held for you?”
“Many,” he replied. “What about you? Have you ever had such a special moment?”
Apart from now? “There was only one time.” The sound of waves rushing to the shore filled my mind while my toes curled in the memory of digging into the soft, warm sand. The wind that had wafted my hair around my shoulders had carried the cry of a seagull, drifting low above the ocean.
“Want to tell me about it?” Julian’s whisper broke through to me like the echo of the waves.
“It was when I stared out at the infinite sea.” I breathed a sigh. “Once, Miss Mulligan took us to the beach.”
“Your warden?” he asked, only a notch louder than before.
“Yeah, the one with the mousy face. She was at the hearing last week.”
“I didn’t pay attention to her so much.”
“No?” I teased.
“No.” He laughed. “Your spectacular fight with the deputies captured me completely.”
“Yeah, I can handle the cops,” I said with a smug grin to myself. “It’s just the handcuffs that irritate me sometimes.”
He ruffled my hair. “You didn’t seem all too happy when I came to spring you from the cuffs.”
A cozy pink cloud of warmth settled around me at this particular memory. “You put a shitload of trust in me when you left me alone in the corridor. No one else would have done that.”
“True.” The muscles in his abdomen moved as he leaned his head closer to my ear and whispered, “But I guess no one else has ever been lying with you like this either, having an open conversation like we are.”
Not that I would remember.
“You need to put some trust first into those who you want to trust you in return.” His voice slightly trailed off. “Some people are like cats. You cannot train them to do anything. You just show them you mean no harm and wait until they come to you of their own free will.”
“Oh, is that your tactic?” I shifted my gaze to his face, my chin deliberately digging between two of his ribs. “You think I can’t be trained?”
Julian wiggled underneath me, exploding with laughter. “Nope, you’re too stubborn. You know, if you pee on my floor I’ll have to rub your face in it.”
Eyes wide, my jaw dropped. “I beg your pardon?” I found more of his ticklish spots. To make him laugh was like playing a sweet melody on a human body.
“Will you please stop that?” His fingers curled around my wrists, gently but firm.
I stood no chance against his strength, even when he held me with only one hand. The other he planted on my neck and made me shift into the comfortable position of before. It was my pleasure to obey.
When his calm breathing together with the soothing music drifting from the iPod were the only sounds in the room again, I admitted in a whisper, “But it was nice of you to set me free in the courthouse.”
“You had a strange way of showing your gratitude. If I remember it right, you damned me to hell.”
Maybe because hell was the only place I knew and even back then I wanted him near me. With my eyes closed, I listened to his heartbeat.
Minutes ticked by.
The slow beat lulled me into a comfortable state of half dozing. And when Julian’s fingers started to skim in circles over my shoulder, I was lost completely.
My tense muscles relaxed, my breaths slowed to deep satisfied intervals.
A little later, Julian said my name in his ever-soft voice and stirred beneath me. But I clasped his shirt and nestled a little tighter against him, wanting him to let me stay.
“Jona, you’re pressing on my arm.” His whisper caressed my ear. But I didn’t care. I felt utterly comfortable and no way in hell was I going to move.
Eventually, he gave up and shoved slightly downward, so his head would sink into the pillow. I scooted down with him, but that was the most comfort I would grant him at the moment.
A blanket was pulled over my hips and the volume of the music turned down several notches. How he managed with the remote sitting on the desk, I didn’t understand, but I was also too tired to think about it.
His wonderful smell carried me to the land of dreams.
I couldn’t say what time of night it was when I woke, because the lamp was turned off. The little light the moon cast through the windows wouldn’t be enough to decipher the face of my watch. It didn’t matter, because my wristwatch was trapped underneath me together with my right hand, and I didn’t dare move. If I had, Julian might have woken up—and pulled away his hand which covered mine on his chest. His left hand was shoved into my hair, creating a sensual tingle at the back of my neck.
I breathed in deeply, fighting a very content smile. No, I wouldn’t have moved an inch for the life of me.
But the darkness irritated me slightly. Dead certain that Julian hadn’t detangled from my clasp while I’d slept, I wondered how he’d switched off the lamp at my side of the bed. Come to think of it, the music had stopped playing as well. If Julian was one to fall asleep easily, he might’ve set those things on a timer. The iPod might have had that function, but the light? It seemed like a simple lamp.
Don’t think so much. Enjoy. And as if on command, Julian’s thumb started to smooth small circles around my knuckles. Every earlier thought dropped from my mind and, keeping still, I utterly surrendered to his touch. Hoping that this night would never end, I closed my eyes.
As a new sunny morning broke, I found myself shifted to the side, facing the French door and tucked softly under the blankets. Although completely snuggly and warm, I missed being held by gentle arms.
A stretch followed my yawn, and the blanket slipped away from my shoulders.
“You do like to sleep in, don’t you?”
My head snapped around to find Julian lounging on a low sofa. A white t-shirt replaced the dark sweater he wore last night and light blue jeans hugged his legs, which he’d planted fairly apart. Despite my wide eyes, his lips twitched to a friendly smirk. “Hi.”
“I didn’t notice you getting up.”
“Ugh, yeah. I had to roll you to the side.” His shiny teeth appeared as his grin spread wider. “I needed to check on your mother. And then I really, really needed to use the bathroom.”
I scooted backward to lean against the headboard with the blanket wrapped around my middle. The fact that he would leave me alone in his room for the sake of my mother gnawed at me. But I absolutely understood the issue with the toilet when my bursting bladder reminded me of the urgency.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” I wouldn’t have let you get out of bed then.
“You were too sweet, lost in peaceful sleep.”
With him running through my dreams, no wonder I didn’t want to wake up. I narrowed my eyes and glanced at him from the side. “How long have you been sitting there and watching me?”
“Half an hour.” His shoulder lifted with a shrug. “Maybe a little longer.”
Please God, I hope I didn’t snore. Warmth seared my face, and I lowered my gaze to my clenched hands on the blue comforter.
A fresh breeze coming through the open balcony door brushed my hair but did little to cool the heat in my cheeks. “What time is it?”
“Time to get up and hurry downstairs if you want to eat breakfast before we head out to the vineyard.”
If Marie and Albert were still sitting in the kitchen sipping their morning coffees, it couldn’t be later than seven. I swung my legs out of bed and slipped into my boots. Waving at him, I crossed to the balcony door.
Bad habit.
A blow of August wind slapped me in the face and fear stopped me in my tracks. I almost walked out onto the balcony like there wasn’t an abyss waiting for me underneath. “Dear God, where are my thoughts?”
“Where indeed?” His purred jibe made the hairs on my neck stand on end.
I spun on my heel, stuck my tongue out at his amused face, and trudged to the door.
Smirking, he sank deeper into the couch and laced his fingers behind his neck. The small furniture creaked slightly. “See you outside, Jona.”
A slamming door was my answer to his mocking me.
On Julian’s advice, I hurtled down to grab the last croissant from the table and stuffed a big piece into my mouth. “Good morning,” I mumbled with my mouth full. Too late, I realized my mother lodged next to Marie in the corner seat. Never would I have included her in my general greeting deliberately.
Forcing the croissant down, I filled a glass of orange juice and, standing with my back to her, I emptied it in one draught.
“Chérie, what put you in such haste? Come and sit down with us.” My aunt’s friendly invitation didn’t sway me.
“I woke late again. Meet you outside.” Before I could think better of it, I bent down and pressed a brief kiss to her cheek. “Thanks for saving the last croissant for me.”
Three pairs of mystified eyes turned to me. Oh no, what had I done? My spine stiffened. Like a fish on dry land, I opened and closed my mouth. But honestly, how could you take back a kiss?
Lips tight in a confused frown, I turned on the spot and rushed up to my room to change for the day—and to clear my head. The aftermath of the happiness from your night in Julian’s arms, a small voice in my head chided. I couldn’t contradict it.
Anticipation brewed in my chest as I loped down again, taking two stairs at a time. At the bottom, my aunt and uncle welcomed me with a parental look, and Marie pulled me into a hug on the way out to the vineyard. Her warmth captured me, and my arm snaked up to wrap around her waist.
The rich, deep smell of growing plants grabbed my senses. A V-formation of wild geese sailed high above our heads, and I gazed after them, feeling equally free.
Happy to see Julian already dusting the roots with fertilizer and next to him a bucket of powder waiting for me, I cut a pleading glance at Marie. “See you later?”
Her arm released me. “Off you go, chérie.”
Untied boots pounded on the pebbled ground as I jogged down the path. My grin wouldn’t stay hidden behind tight lips. Another day of hard work la
y before me. But I didn’t care. Not with this gorgeous and mysterious man by my side.
DEAD DUCK – A SIGN OF LOVE?
ON THURSDAY, NOT a single cloud spoiled the metallic blue sky stretching as far as the eye could see. As the hours ticked away, the heat became more intense, and by late afternoon, sweat beaded on my forehead. Trudging behind Albert through the wide-open field, I mopped my face with the hem of my green and gray checkered shirt, while my uncle explained more about viniculture. I found it hard to concentrate, because my gaze kept drifting over to Julian in the distance.
Since last night, something had changed in his look. His brows pulled together, he had seemed to be chewing on a hard nut all day. But each time I’d asked what vexed him, he only shrugged and changed the subject.
Maybe for the best. A mist of uncertainty crept over me at the thought of how last night had changed my view of him. How the sweet moments together amplified my attraction to this man.
“Jona, are you listening?”
The French lilt of my uncle’s voice tore my gaze away from Julian, and I blinked against the sun. “Sorry, what did you say?” In fact, I hadn’t heard a word since he’d told me to listen carefully, for this was important.
Albert bestowed me with a sympathetic glance. “We better call it a day. It has been long enough for all of us, and I am sure your aunt has our dinner on the table.”
I gladly followed him to the house after giving Julian a sign with a flick of my head to indicate work was done for today. A single slight nod was his response.
Since I was the first to come into the kitchen after scrubbing the dirt off my hands, I met Marie alone. The pork filets and vegetables added a spicy smell to the air.
“Albert said you struggled to pay attention to him in the afternoon because you were distracted…with Julian,” Marie whispered behind me.
I gulped. “Did he?” My burning face was something I did not want her to see.
“I noticed it too this morning. You could hardly take your eyes off him.” Her warm fingers hooked my hair behind my ear. “But he couldn’t either. Is there something happening between the two of you?” Her green eyes glowed.
I choked on embarrassment. “No! Absolutely not.”
