by Janis Mackay
‘I don’t need to relax.’
‘Gee, I wish you would. You make me nervous, fidgeting and tapping your foot constantly. Look, Niilo, you did good work. And when we do good work, we get rewarded with little breaks. That’s what I’m giving you. A little break.’ Aleksi laughed, but not in the warm and open way that Hannu had laughed. This was more of an aren’t-I-the-funny-man laugh. It made me sick, but I kept a smile tugging my lips up. It was getting harder and harder. And Scarface had started to frown at me, like I had turned colours. I felt exhausted with it all. I squatted down at the end of the field.
‘That doesn’t exactly look relaxing,’ Aleksi shouted, pointing to my awkward-looking position.
‘I’m relaxed,’ I said too sharply, then thought I’d better add something nice. ‘It’s fine, honestly. I like sitting like this. Thanks for being so concerned.’
Aleksi shook his head, looked like he was ready to make another comment, then let it go. He flipped a hand in the direction of the new boy called Kari who had arrived three days before. Kari had his hands in his pockets and he’d already kicked over his basket. ‘Hey, Kari!’ Aleksi shouted over to him. ‘They tell me Niilo here was just like you. Now look at him! Fastest berry-picker in Finland!’ Aleksi laughed and sauntered over to where I was hunched down. Lowering his voice he said, ‘Kari’s finding it really hard. His parents died in a motorbike crash and he couldn’t cope. You can’t blame him, poor guy. And it seems his grandparents don’t want him.’ Aleksi looked back at the new boy. ‘Hey, no pressure, Kari,’ he called over to the glum-looking boy, digging a hole in the earth with the toe of his boot. ‘Don’t feel you have to do anything, okay?’
‘Wish my parents had died in a crash,’ I said. Nice had just snapped.
‘Jesus!’ Aleksi shook his head. ‘I can’t believe you said that.’
‘I said it.’
‘Well, forget what I said about relaxing in the sun. Get up and take those strawberries into the kitchen, whip off the stalks and wash any flies off them. Then if we’re lucky we’ll have strawberries and cream for supper. Hand them over to the cook, then come straight back, okay?’
‘Okay,’ I mumbled, lifting up the basket of strawberries and trying to think of something really morbid so that the huge smile threatening to break open my face wouldn’t give the game away. I had either been locked in my room or under surveillance constantly since I’d arrived on the island, and here was Aleksi telling me to go off ‘on my own’ and wash the strawberries!
I strolled off, whistling, and resisted the temptation to break into a run. I took the path that followed the nature trail, round by the pine trees. I had Riku’s grease with me. It was kind of awkward, stuffed inside my shirt, but ever since he had given it to me I carried it on me, just in case.
Once behind the dark trees I dropped my basket of strawberries. The red berries spilled down onto the grass. Then I ran. I tugged at my shirt, buttons snapping. There was something great about that ripping snapping sound. One tug and the shirt fell to the ground. I held the jar of grease and kicked off my shoes, then paused, thinking I might need them. For a second I stared down at my prized red Converse shoes. They cost a fortune. And they would come in handy. Quickly I tied the laces together and slung them round my neck. I ran on, my shoes bobbing up and down. I ran faster and faster. Only one thing was worth treasuring now: freedom.
My heart pounded against my ribs. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I kept into the shadows and ran barefoot without making a sound. In moments I was down on the sloping rocks by the sea. The sun shimmered on the surface and small waves sang.
‘Come, Niilo, come in.’ That’s what they were singing. ‘This way freedom. Come!’
I shot a glance back over my shoulder. No one was coming after me. I unscrewed the jar and started plastering the grease all over me. It felt slimy and weird but I smeared it all over till I was covered. It was like a skin, a seal skin! Then I hurled the empty jar into the bracken, snatched in a deep breath, held my shoes and jumped from the rocks down onto the small sandy beach. One stride, two, three and my feet were in the water. After the shock of cold the sea felt tingling. Warm, even. Maybe it was the grease? I waded further in, trying not to splash up water. I couldn’t believe my luck – there wasn’t even a boat out to blot the blue horizon.
I waded deeper till water swirled round my waist, then rose up to my shoulders. I glanced over my shoulder. Nobody was coming. A gull swooped low. I fell forward and took the first stroke to freedom. Goodbye Wild School. I swam fast, cutting through the sea with hardly a sound. The shoes slung round my neck got in the way. So I threw them off me. Two red shoes bobbed, then sank. I kicked back my heels. This was it. Escape!
For the first time in a long time the future called like a thrilling adventure. I passed the rock where Hannu first told me about finding his wild song. I swam fast now. Soon I was far out. I wanted to yell, I wanted to kick back water and cheer at the top of my voice. But I kept the yelling locked inside. Further and further out I swam and with every stroke grew stronger. I kept going, slicing my arms through the water. I felt so strong, like I could take on the ocean.
By this time I was farther out than I’d ever been. I was a natural. I swam like a seal. I twisted onto my back and watched the Wild School island shrink. ‘Freedom,’ I murmured, twisting round and reaching forward through the water. Then I said it louder. Who would hear? No one. I was alone. Me and the wide blue sea. I threw up a spray of water. The word burst from my lungs. ‘Freedom!’
Chapter Fifteen
I swam like an Olympian. Further and further I swam. Sometimes I flipped round onto my back and kicked my feet. It gave me a rest, and I liked watching the Wild School island grow smaller and smaller. Then I turned and swam on … and on. I felt great. This felt way more exciting than filching wallets, but why did no one come to look for me? Why was there no rescue boat? Could it be my escape hadn’t been discovered? Was Aleksi so daft that he’d forgotten I was on his team? Like, how long does it take to wash strawberries?
I spun round and swam on, making for another island. The archipelago was littered with islands, and I saw a few dark dents break the endless blue. Hannu would have said they were all like Finland’s dark beautiful jewels, scattered far and wide. I batted thoughts of Hannu away. If Hannu knew I was missing, he’d send out a search party. Probably he’d dive into the sea and swim after me. But the other staff, they didn’t care. Probably they would be glad to see the back of me.
I kept swimming. When I felt my muscles ache I floated on my back and gazed up at the blue sky. I couldn’t believe how easy this was. Why didn’t everybody swim away? What about Scarface? Why didn’t he escape? I rolled back onto my front and swam on. And on. I wondered where Hannu had gone? It felt lonely out here. I was a drop in the ocean. But I kept going. I planned not to let up until I couldn’t see the Wild School island any more. I glanced back over my shoulder. The island was tiny now, but I could still see it. I wanted to put it behind me. Like Hannu and his scar.
For what felt like hours I swam on, but my arms didn’t zip through the water now and my legs didn’t kick back so strongly. At least the weather was okay. I watched the sun pass over me in the huge blue sky. Then I saw it slowly slip downwards. I had been swimming all afternoon and I could feel the beginnings of a pain across my chest.
Keep swimming, Niilo, I spoke to myself. I panted hard. Keep going.
Every stroke now was a massive effort. My chest felt fit to burst and my arms and legs ached, heavy as lead. And worse than that, the fear was creeping back. It was like it had never gone away, just gone to sleep. Now it was waking up and saying – where the hell are you? Jesus, this is the sea. The sea!! Have you any idea what’s under you? Skeletons. Sharks. Killer whales. Are you mad? Monsters too. Are you totally insane? And what about the drowning nightmare? What about the waves that any minute now are going to turn into hungry mouths and swallow you?
The fear started small and grew
. It grew fast. It sucked my strength away until I could hardly take another stroke. I had to think of Hannu. If I didn’t, I’d drown. Or I really would go crazy. I imagined a story Hannu would tell, of how the people of Ahtola would scoop me up into their arms and guide me to safety through the waves. I imagined the wise old Vainamoinen, singing on his kantele and looking, looking, always looking, for a bride. I imagined the beautiful young Aino, pursued by the ancient Vainamoinen. I pictured her long hair flowing, her sandaled feet pounding down as she fled through the woods. I pictured her fleeing into the sea, and changing into a salmon, and leaving old Vainamoinen alone by the edge of the sea. Now she was the angel of the sea. She was looking after me.
That’s when I saw the seal. It lifted its sleek black head out of the water, hardly a stone’s throw away, and looked at me. I thought I was seeing things, like I had conjured my own magic. I thought I really had gone crazy – I was bringing Hannu’s stories to life.
But this creature didn’t vanish into thin air. It swam towards me. All the fear that was in me focused on this strange creature heading towards me, on its yellow eyes! I felt terrified, but weirdly calm at the same time. I forgot about sharks and monsters and skeletons. Even the exhaustion vanished. I heard a whimper in my throat. Then the mysterious creature slipped under the water. I waited for it to brush against me, or come up behind me, or right in front of me. It was like some torture game. But then I saw the seal way ahead. It swivelled its head to look at me. And maybe I really was mad, but I got the feeling the seal wanted me to follow it. And the way it looked at me didn’t feel scary. And I could see, beyond the seal, a dark shape. There was another island ahead.
I thought maybe I’d been swimming in a big circle and this island ahead was the Wild School island. But I looked over my shoulder and I could still see the Wild School … if that dark rock in the distance was the Wild School. But there were lots of distant rocks, lots of small islands. I wasn’t sure which one was the Wild School. I felt dizzy and I didn’t know what was happening.
I was in the sea, and I was following a black seal.
I was escaping.
I was exhausted.
I didn’t know where I was going, but I just kept swimming, pushing my arms forwards and pulling the sea back.
Sometimes the seal looked back, like he was checking I was still with him. I didn’t know too much about seals, but they weren’t scary like sharks, and the pictures of seals in books made them look cute. I didn’t even know if this creature was a seal. It could have been a dolphin, or a walrus. Maybe it was one of the creatures from Ahtola? Maybe it was a human with a seal skin on? Maybe I was dead and this was some kind of afterlife?
But the sea felt like water. The sky looked like sky. And I was panting hard. I didn’t feel dead. I don’t think I had ever felt so alive. I kept swimming … and the island ahead grew bigger. I could see trees now, and a small hill. I swam closer. The seal had reached the island. It rocked up onto a flat rock that jutted out from the island, used its flippers like hands to raise itself up, then turned to watch me.
I wasn’t scared of the seal now. I mean, not terrified. It was okay. It was helping me. Humans don’t care about me, but animals do. Hannu was right. Animals watch over us. I slowed down swimming to the island and looked carefully. I couldn’t see any signs of boats. There was no building behind the trees. No curl of smoke drifting into the sky. This was it, my own place. My own island. I kicked back my heels and swam the last bit, exhausted.
In those last few strokes I was panting like I’d run an ultra-marathon. I could make out trees, bushes, sandy beaches and sloping rocks. There was no sign of life. No boat. No summerhouse. I would rest here. I had to. I couldn’t go on. If the Wild School staff came searching for me, I’d see them coming and I would hide. I was ace at hiding. I could crouch down and not move, not make a sound. I could slip into shadowy places. I could climb into trees. Trees made great hiding places – people never looked up.
In the next stroke my toes scraped over stones. I yelled out in relief. I’d made it! I wasn’t going to drown. The people of Ahtola wouldn’t cart my soul off to Tuonela: the land of the dead. By now I was on my feet, panting in agony – I thought my chest would snap in two. I waded to the shore, ploughing back armfuls of ocean, reached the beach and fell headlong onto the sand, crying out in pain and exhaustion. I dragged myself up the sand and slumped forward.
Behind me, I heard a loud splash. I was too weary to be scared but looked round to see the seal’s head rise from the water. It was watching me … then it slipped under the sea and vanished. My arms buckled under me and I collapsed onto the sand again. Every bone in my body was like jelly. Everything in me wanted to sleep for days, but this beach was too exposed. Even totally exhausted I had the wits to hide. So I dragged myself further up the beach on my belly and wriggled under a bush. I didn’t care that it scratched me. I hardly noticed. I slumped my head down and plunged into a black sleep.
I slept in fits, maybe for hours, maybe minutes, I don’t know. Feverish dreams haunted me. I could hear the drone of a giant wasp. Swarms of them coming closer. And men shouting. I could feel the ground under me move, like the sea. When I woke my throat was on fire with thirst and my mind jumpy with fear of being discovered. I had to find a better hiding place. And I had to find water. If it wasn’t such agony it would be funny – boy stages incredible escape from Wild School only to die of thirst!
I forced myself to get out from under the bush. Wobbling, scratched and groggy, I got to my feet and headed away from the sea. It was a major effort to put one foot in front of the other, but I kept going, towards some trees, staggering like I was drunk. A gull screeched. I ducked. Then another bird swooped down. I shielded my head with my hands and yelled at them. That woke me up proper.
I hurried now, tramping over the heather, dodging dive-bombing sea birds and scanning the island for water. My senses were alert like a wolf. I had to drink. My mind spun. What time was it? The sun was rising. It could be three in the morning. I must have slept for hours under that bush. And what was the date? Suddenly it seemed important but I could hardly remember. The fifteenth of July, or the sixteenth? Something like that. My throat was parched. I sniffed the air, sure I could smell fresh water.
Suddenly there it was by the trees, like a silver thread in the moss: a small stream. Maybe this was a mirage. It shimmered like it wasn’t real. Maybe thirst does this to you. Maybe swimming for kilometres does this. You want something so bad you imagine it.
I crept towards the stream, thinking with every trembling step how it would vanish before my crazy eyes. But it didn’t. I got closer. Bracken and gorse bushes grazed my legs. I passed a clump of birch trees. The stream was still there, gurgling, sparkling, welling up from the ground and spilling fresh water into a small pool.
I fell headlong into the pool and drank. I drank loudly, like a dog, lapping up the water. It tasted fantastic. I drank and drank. I scooped up water and flung it into the air. I whooped. I yelled.
Then I heard something behind me.
Chapter Sixteen
I froze. I felt like a wild animal. The front half of me was sprawled in the pool. Someone was behind me, I was convinced. Like a soldier in a jungle I dragged myself backward, not making a sound – I didn’t want to be discovered with my face in a pool. Water dripped from my chin and I was scratched all over from the bushes that I had been lying in. I wanted to jump up, turn and run, but my body refused to move. Maybe whoever was behind me hadn’t seen me. I pushed down so I was right in the heather and bushes, camouflaged. I lay like that for ages, not breathing hardly, not moving, my heart thumping.
Then I heard this awful howl. It burst out of the silence and cut right through me. That was no human. The howl sounded so sad – I have never heard anything like it. I turned round and there it was, the black seal, dragging itself over the heather. It was coming straight for me.
Now I saw how huge it was. Maybe it wasn’t a seal. Maybe I’d landed
up on an island of monsters. Its haunting howl terrified me and I let out a strangled kind of cry – I couldn’t help it. The creature kept coming, dragging its huge body, rocking over the heather, wailing like a ghost. If this was a seal it was massive.
I scrambled to my feet. Whimpering, I bolted away like I’d been hit by lightning, turning and running over the heather, away from the creature. My legs felt like jelly – I had swum for hours – and I was exhausted, petrified. I was starving. So I don’t know where I found the energy. But I did. I fled. I had bare feet. They were cut. Thorns tore at my legs. I crashed through the bracken, not daring to look back in case the creature was right behind. I lunged for a tree and in a flash I scaled it, my heart a drum in my ribs. I was pretty sure the seal, or walrus or whatever it was, wouldn’t be able to climb a tree. Just to make sure, I climbed right to the top. I was like an acrobat. Or a monkey. The branches creaked. I clung on and peered down.
Through the green leaves I could make out the creature. It was now basking in the early morning sun, lounging on a rock near the sea. It seemed to have forgotten me, thank God! I drew a branch back for a better look. It was black all over, and sleek. It had a smooth round head and a fat long body. And it was thudding its tail thing up and down on the rock, making a dull slapping sound. The huge creature looked like the seals in my books, and things I had read in those books came to me in a flash, like – seals are curious creatures. Seals will move towards humans, unlike many other wild animals.
Then I remembered Hannu’s stories, about the man with the seal skin, and about the human and the seal being buried together. I felt like I’d landed in a magical world and a cold shiver crept over my skin.
I stayed in the tree. The seal stayed on the rock. It had stopped thudding its tail and nodding its head. Maybe it was asleep? I was dizzy with hunger. Maybe none of this was happening? Maybe I was imagining everything? I slapped my face, and it didn’t hurt much. I scratched the back of my hand, wobbled a bit then grasped the branch.
