William Shakespeare's Jedi the Last

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William Shakespeare's Jedi the Last Page 4

by Ian Doescher


  Shall light my way unto my dear friend, Rey.

  If Rey comes hither, though, what she shall she find?

  Destruction, devastation of our fleet.

  Our aspiration-fill’d Resistance torn

  Asunder, trail’d by fiendish enemies.

  Fie! I’ll not lure her into such a trap.

  Instead, I’ll take a pod and flee away,

  Not thus to save myself—to save my Rey.

  [Exit.

  SCENE 1.

  On Ahch-To.

  Enter CHEWBACCA and various PORGS, near the Millennium Falcon.

  Enter R2-D2, concealed inside the Falcon.

  CHEWBAC. Egh, auugh, egh, egh.4

  PORG —Porg!

  CHEWBAC. —Auugh!5

  [Exeunt all but one porg.

  PORG —Porg!

  CHEWBAC. —Auugh, egh, auugh!6

  [Exeunt Chewbacca and final porg severally.

  Enter LUKE SKYWALKER inside the Millennium Falcon.

  LUKE Unparallel’d: the grand Millenn’um Falcon.

  O, ship methought I’d never see again.

  This cockpit is with memories replete—

  Mos Eisley we did flee in this small space,

  So young was I, and inexperienc’d.

  Herein we first did spy the Death Star with

  Eyes unbelieving what we did observe.

  Here Han and I did Leia once discuss,

  When still we knew so little of what Fate

  Would weave for our still unfamiliar trio.

  O Han, brave Han, kind Han, most clever Han,

  The scoundrel whom I did a brother call.

  Thine only son did turn on thee in th’end,

  Did kill thee even as thou offer’dst love.

  How I do miss our friendship, and the times—

  Yea, even times of danger—we did share.

  Thou twice didst save my life, and I did thine,

  Yet could not save thee from the wayward youth

  Whom I did fail and who turn’d to the dark.

  These dice of thine I’ll take as souvenir

  Of he who taught me what true courage is.

  Forgive me, Han, pray say thou wilt forgive,

  E’en as thou tak’st the rest that never ends.

  [Luke leaves the cockpit and sits at the holochess board.

  R2-D2 [aside:] My master, Luke, come hither to the ship!

  Joy fills my droidly spirit at the sight.

  [To Luke:] Beep, meep, beep, squeak!

  LUKE —R2?

  R2-D2 —Squeak, meep!

  LUKE —R2!

  R2-D2 Meep, whistle, hoo, beep, whistle, whistle, nee.

  LUKE Yes, yes, I know. I have been told.

  R2-D2 —Beep, whee!

  LUKE The sacred island, R2, watch thy language.

  Thou ever wert a sharp-tongu’d droid, old friend.

  I would that I could make thee understand

  Why I shall not fly hence and join the fight.

  I’ll not come back with thee, R2, I’m sorry.

  Naught doth exist which could my mind change.

  Enter YOUNG PRINCESS LEIA, in hologram projected by R2-D2.

  LEIA —Years

  Ago thou serv’d my noble father in

  The Clone Wars. Now, he beggeth thee to come

  Again and aid him in his struggle with

  The Empire. Sadly may I not be there

  With thee in person, my request to give.

  LUKE This was a spiteful trick, thou naughty droid.

  LEIA My ship of late hath fallen under siege

  And thus my mission—bringing thee unto

  My cherish’d planet Alderaan—hath fail’d.

  The desp’rate hour is now upon us—please,

  I beg thee, sir. O help me, Obi-Wan

  Kenobi, help. Thou art mine only hope.

  [Exit Princess Leia.

  LUKE Thou hast my conscience prick’d, my little friend.

  Ho, Rey! I say, Rey, come, for thou art bid!

  Enter REY.

  Tomorrow morn at dawn, with me arise.

  Three lessons I shall give thee—all thou need’st.

  I shall instruct you in the Jedi way,

  And wherefore they must end without delay.

  [Exeunt.

  4 Editor’s translation: A treat, to rest awhile here by the fire,

  And sup upon this meal I caught and cook’d.

  This trip lasts longer than we did expect,

  With Luke resisting all our cries for help.

  Thus we make do with food we did not bring—

  This meat must be a banquet for a Wookiee.

  5 Editor’s translation: Get hence, you foolish feather’d furry imps.

  I care not if this was some kin of yours.

  6 Editor’s translation: O, twist thy face not so. Fly quickly off,

  Or thy new home shall be a Wookiee’s mouth.

  Upsetting beasts! I’ve lost mine appetite.

  SCENE 2.

  Aboard the Raddus.

  Enter VICE ADMIRAL AMILYN HOLDO, COMMANDER D’ACY, POE DAMERON, FINN, LIEUTENANT CONNIX, C-3PO, and other RESISTANCE SOLDIERS and PILOTS, in conference.

  D’ACY Our General Organa, even Leia,

  Doth lie unconscious, yet recovering.

  That is, methinks, mine only word of cheer.

  Kind Adm’ral Ackbar, all our leaders, too—

  They all are dead, for Leia only did

  Survive the sack and ruin of our bridge.

  C-3PO O dear, how shall th’Resistance e’en go on?

  D’ACY If she were here, addressing each of us,

  She would that we our sorrow save until

  The fight is o’er. My friends, the fight’s not o’er.

  Thus, listen: our command chain is quite clear—

  The heir apparent who shall take her place—

  Vice Adm’ral Holdo of the cruiser Ninka.

  HOLDO My thanks, Commander. Soldiers, friends, and comrades:

  Four hundred of us borne on three small ships—

  We are the last of our Resistance true,

  All that remains—yet we are not alone.

  In ev’ry corner of the galaxy,

  Those who have been downtrodden and oppress’d—

  Perhaps the victims of some tyranny,

  Perhaps repress’d by prejudice and pow’r,

  Perhaps made poor by unjust schemes and wars,

  Perhaps the prey of those who should be leaders—

  E’en these do look, with hope, toward our symbol.

  We are the spark that, catching, lights the fire,

  Which shall anon restore th’Republic firm.

  That spark—e’en this Resistance—must survive,

  Must live to see this day, the next, and more.

  This is our mission true. Now, to your stations,

  And ever may the Force remain with us.

  [The group is dismissed, each to their own work.

  POE [aside:] ’Tis Adm’ral Holdo? Clash of Chyron Belt?

  E’en she, the selfsame person? I confess,

  The woman hath not fit mine expectation.

  Her countenance evinces ingenu’ty.

  [To Holdo:] Vice Admiral, Commander Dameron

  Am I. Considering our fuel consumption,

  The present rate at which our ship doth burn’t,

  We have but little time that we’ll remain

  Beyond the range of those bleak Star Destroyers

  That still pursue us doggedly. Dost see?

  HOLDO ’Tis kind of thee, this knowledge to impart.

  How could a mere vice adm�
��ral know such things?

  POE Let me endeavor, please, to lead you, step

  By step, to the conception I intend.

  We need to make escape ere we can find

  A base wherein we shall be safe enow.

  What is thy plan? I’ll tell thee if ’tis right.

  HOLDO Our plan, young captain—captain, not commander—

  ’Twas Leia’s final act thee to demote,

  Because of thine imprudent Dreadnought plan,

  Whereon our bombing fleet was lost entirely.

  Was I told true about thy history?

  POE A captain or commander, as thou will’st—

  Call me whatever appellation suiteth—

  I yet would know what will befall, for time

  Doth pass, and swiftly bears away with it

  The final shadow that remains of hope.

  HOLDO Of course thou gladly wouldst discover all.

  I understand thy plea and thy desire.

  Well vers’d am I in pilots such as thee,

  The trigger-happy, errant flyboy sort.

  Ye are the same—impulsive, arrogant,

  And dangerous—the worst type for us now,

  Of which we’ve little need and less. Take heed:

  Maintain thy post, and follow thou mine orders.

  [Exeunt all but Finn.

  FINN Now shall I to it and be off at once,

  Take all I need and find a waiting pod.

  Enter ROSE TICO, aside, crying.

  ROSE [aside:] My sister, Paige, in Dreadnought’s blaze consum’d,

  A bomber pilot she, yet so much more—

  A fellow soldier, friend, and family.

  This steel medallion, held within my hand—

  The match to which she carried with her always—

  Shall hold her mem’ry ever in my heart.

  The pendant I’ll embrace, in place of her.

  I would be blind with weeping, sick with groans,

  Look pale as primrose with blood-drinking sighs,

  And all to have my sister sweet alive.

  [Rose sees Finn opening an escape pod and placing his bag inside.

  What art thou doing, sirrah, near this pod?

  FINN I fain would…er, I was…how should I say?

  ROSE Thou art Finn, verily—the Finn!

  FINN —The Finn?

  ROSE For this, my stutter’d speech, apologies.

  All day, I work behind the pipes and walls,

  Needs do arise, and I respond at once—

  My trade is but generic maintenance.

  It’s not my practice to ply talking with

  Resistance heroes such as thy fine self.

  Lips, cease thy prattle. O, spake I “ply talking”?

  I am call’d Rose, a gentle, humble Rose,

  No more, no less than Rose, this she am I,

  Good e’en to you; I now shall hold my peace.

  FINN Breathe easy, Rose. No hero of the brave

  Resistance find’st thou here. But fare thee well,

  Enjoy the wonders of this pleasant day.

  And also: may the Force be with thee e’er.

  ROSE Zounds! Such a greeting—such a one as this!

  Thou, too, good Finn. Yet hear me further, please:

  Thou art a worthy hero, by my troth!

  Thou who forsook’st the odious First Order,

  Think on thy deeds upon Starkiller Base!

  When my sweet sister Paige and I did hear

  Of all thine exploits and thy bravery,

  She said, “Hark, Rose—such is a hero, see?

  One who shall never flee when trouble comes.”

  Art thou aware, this very morningtide,

  I have kept three afeard and fragile souls

  From using this escape pod to depart?

  They had th’intention thus to run away!

  FINN Disgraceful and unworthy wretches, those.

  ROSE Forsooth!

  FINN —In faith, ’twas well to meet thee, Rose,

  Yet now I’m bound to finish my task here.

  ROSE What was thy task?

  FINN —To fix, or check, or scan—

  ROSE To check th’escape pod, eh, such was thy task?

  FINN “Routine check” were the words for which I sought.

  ROSE Yea: check, then board, and pack a bag as well.

  FINN Nay, listen to me, kind and thoughtful Rose…

  [Rose strikes Finn with her electro-shock prod. He falls unconscious.

  ROSE No foul deserter leaves upon my watch.

  I shall convey him, carried on this cart,

  And put him where he’ll make no trouble more.

  [Rose puts Finn on a cart and begins pushing it.

  FINN [waking:] I cannot move. Help, foh! I cannot move!

  ROSE I know thou canst not move—such was my plan.

  FINN What hath befallen? Where convey’st thou me?

  ROSE We hasten to the brig, where I shall give

  Thee over as a common, rank deserter.

  FINN Nay, no deserter I! For thus I said—

  ROSE My sister died in th’air above D’Qar,

  Protecting our strong fleet and ev’rything

  The virtuous Resistance standeth for.

  Thou, though, thou knave, wouldst run away, wouldst flee.

  FINN Apologies. Now hear: this fleet is doom’d,

  And should my friend return, she too is doom’d.

  Such consequence I’d not cause her to suffer.

  Fix thou thine eyes upon this beacon here:

  If not myself, it must at least be gone,

  Be far from here, from danger, from demise—

  Where’er may be, she’ll find it and be safe.

  ROSE Thou art a selfish motley-minded traitor.

  FINN We’ll ne’er outrun the sly First Order’s fleet!

  ROSE Nay, say not so: we shall to lightspeed jump.

  FINN Fie, hast not heard? They track’d us through lightspeed.

  ROSE They track’d us through lightspeed? An ill report.

  FINN Indeed. Thou dost begin to see—if we

  Do make the jump, some thirty seconds after

  The rank First Order shall appear again.

  Then shall we have expended precious fuel,

  Which is already lessening forthwith.

  ROSE They track’d us through lightspeed?

  FINN —Forsooth, and they—

  What is this feeling? I sense not my teeth!

  What guileful witchcraft didst thou ply on me?

  ROSE To track through hyperspace is something recent:

  Experimental, new technology.

  It doth employ a system similar

  To that of active trackers, meaning this:

  They—

  BOTH —Only track us from the forward ship.

  ROSE Yet we shall ne’er the guarded tracker reach.

  An A-class process ’tis, a vital system,

  Which only from the bridge could be controll’d.

  FINN Yet ev’ry A-class process would fain have—

  BOTH A final, dedicated power breaker.

  ROSE ’Tis well. Yet who would know where one may find

  The power breakers on a Star Destroyer?

  FINN The man who once did clean its very surface.

  O Rose, if I can get thee thereupon—

  ROSE I verily shall shut the tracker down.

  FINN We must at once unfold our plan to Poe.

  He’ll proffer understanding and advice.

  O Poe, fine Poe! Art thou nearby? Hark, Poe!

  Enter POE DAMERON with C-3PO and BB-8.


  Well met, forsooth—conveniently thou comest.

  We have a plan, to sneak aboard the foul

  First Order’s Star Destroyer lead, thereon

  To find and to disable that which tracks us.

  POE Pray, say again what is this plan of yours?

  From th’wreck and chaos of the usu’l senses,

  It seemeth something worthy hath arisen.

  Yet say it simply—thus I’ll understand.

  FINN The rank First Order doth but track us from

  A single Star Destroyer at the front.

  POE We then shall blow it up? That is your plan?

  ’Twill satisfy my sorrow, weariness,

  And my disgust with all of humankind,

  And longing after solitude. Indeed?

  FINN I like the turning of thy mind, but nay,

  For then they would but track us once again,

  Yet from another ship. If we, though, sneak

  Aboard the forward ship, annihilate

  The tracker, sans their knowledge, it doth follow—

  ROSE They shall not know ’tis gone for one whole cycle—

  Belike six minutes total, thereabouts.

  Six minutes wherewith we may save ourselves,

  Six minutes to restore Resistance hope.

  Three hundred sixty seconds of a chance.

  FINN Thus, to sum up: we sneak aboard the first

  Large ship, defeat the tracker held thereon,

  And our fleet makes escape ere they do know.

  POE Yea, let us hasten to the ramparts, Finn;

  This plan may work. Yet, how did you two meet?

  ROSE ’Twas fortune.

  FINN [aside:] —Fortunately for my status.

  POE Was’t fortune good or bad? This answer I

  Find vague and formless, and indefinite.

  ROSE If good or bad, we cannot say as yet.

  FINN Poe, we must carry forth this per’lous plan:

  We can the fleet save, also save my Rey.

  C-3PO This business is well ended, I believe.

  My noble captain, to expostulate

  What deference should be, what duty is,

  Why day is day, night is night, time is time,

  Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time—

  Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,

  And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,

  I will be brief. I speak with reason’s voice:

  Vice Adm’ral Holdo never shall agree

  To this most dangerous, audacious plan.

  POE Thou hast it right, C-3PO, as e’er:

  This plan is need-to-know, which, simply put,

 

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