by T. K. Chapin
Coming out the front door, Kayla asked, “Did you know there’s an attic with a bunch of dusty stuff in there?”
“Oh, cool. Hey, since you’re here, come say hello to these people from the church.”
“Okay.” There was a hint of a whine to her voice, but she obliged. Arriving to my side, she smiled and waved along with me. “How long do I have to hang around?”
Continuing with my smile and wave, I leaned toward her. “Don’t start with the attitude. We’ve had a pleasant time on the road and getting here.”
“I just forgot that this is forever, and I am mad about it.”
The truck pulled up to us and shut off.
Turning to her, I said, “Don’t embarrass me. Be nice.”
Three guys got out and approached us.
“You must be Hannah and Kayla. I’m Pastor Charlie, and I brought with me some extra hands. Owen and Kirk.”
“Nice to meet you.” Shaking all of their hands, I glanced at the U-Haul. “There’s not a whole lot left, just heavy stuff.”
“That’s why we’re here,” Kirk said with a smile as he and Owen walked over and jumped into the back of the moving truck.
“You two relax. We got this,” Owen added as he walked by.
Pastor Charlie walked with me toward the guest house.
“I’m going to work on my room.” Kayla went in ahead of us, and the pastor stopped short of the front door of the guest house.
Lowering his voice, he said, “What brings you out to our little community besides helping out Mac?”
“Kayla and I needed a new start.”
He nodded. “I hope you find what you’re looking for out here. You know our church has a great youth group?”
Coming in closer, so Kayla couldn’t hear, I said, “I want to get this out now. I know it’s forward, but you should know. She’s pregnant. Long story. But I’m not sure she’ll be too into a youth group for a while.”
“Okay, but believe me when I say this—all those teenagers in the youth group are sinners.”
We both laughed.
Then he continued. “She’s welcome to come regardless of the pregnancy, and I’m sure they’d be happy to have her. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.” Handing me a business card for the Inn at the Lake, he continued. “That’s our residence and our inn my wife and I run.”
“Neat! Thank you.”
Kirk and Owen were carrying my dresser down the ramp and were approaching us near the door. Kirk asked, “Where to?”
“My room. I’ll show you the way.”
Charlie went over to the moving truck and I led them inside.
I had them set it directly below the window that pointed toward the mountain. They left the room, and I went over to the boxes in my room near the closet. Opening up the first box, I pulled out a framed picture of Kayla and me when she was only a newborn. I was sitting in the rocking chair beside her crib in her room, and she was asleep on my chest. Jonathan had snapped the picture of the two of us.
Setting the picture frame on the dresser, I thought of Kayla and the baby that was now growing inside her. The future was uncertain for all three of us. I wasn’t ready to help my daughter be a mother at this point in my life. My eyes watering, I lowered my head and prayed silently. God . . . I don’t know what You’re doing, but if You can shed a little light on the situation, I’d appreciate it.
“Mom?” My daughter’s voice behind me in the doorway brought me out of my prayer. Wiping my eyes, I turned to her.
“Yeah?”
She crossed the wood floor over to me. “Remember this?”
Looking down, I saw a picture of our family vacation we had taken to the Grand Canyon when she was ten, six years ago. My heart flinched with pain.
“Yeah. That was a fun trip.”
The reality was that she didn’t understand how much pain was laced within the memories of her father for me. She didn’t understand that for every happy memory I had with him, there were three more stories circling nearby that I knew were connected to his other family. The ‘emergency’ business meeting in Florida halfway through our family vacation wasn’t something that Kayla most likely even recalled.
Her eyes were downcast, so I asked, “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head.
“You can tell me.”
She started to cry. Biting her lip, she sighed. “I know you hate him, but I miss him, Mom.”
My heart broke hearing her say it. Pulling her in close, I hugged her tightly. “I know you do, and it’s okay to feel that way. Everything is going to be okay, Kayla. God has a plan and is working out things for good. We must wait upon Him and put our trust in Him.”
Chapter 10-Luke
PULLING UP BEHIND A SILVER mid-sized sedan, I parked and tossed my Bluetooth into the passenger seat. Peering out the windows, I tried to see if anyone was out and about. Glancing toward the guest house, I took a deep breath as I prayed that my dad wasn’t too harsh with her already. The last gal we had out on the ranch didn’t last a full forty-eight hours before burning rubber in the middle of the night. My father was resistant to the idea of a caretaker. He’d lived on this ranch for over forty years without a lick of help. I suspected that for him to admit he needed it would be a blow not only to his ego, but to his understanding of himself as a man.
Getting out, I headed over to the guest house and knocked.
Hannah’s teenage daughter, Kayla, answered the door.
“Hi. My name’s Luke. You must be Kayla?”
She nodded but had a shyness about her.
“Is your mother around?”
“Hello,” Hannah said, coming up from behind Kayla. “It’s almost seven. I thought you’d be here earlier.”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I got tied up at work.”
“It’s all right. Come in.” Kayla headed to the second bedroom, which I assumed was the one she took. Meanwhile, Hannah and I took seats on the couch. She had already hung up pictures, set up the television on the entertainment stand, and made the place look like she had been living there for years.
As I surveyed the living room, I turned to her. “Wow. You’ve been busy. Looks like you’ve lived here for a while already.”
“I don’t like living out of boxes.”
Raising an eyebrow, I said, “Fair enough. Sorry again about not getting out here sooner. I really meant to.”
“Don’t worry about it. I understand how life is. Where do you work?”
“Young’s. I’m an investment banker. But let’s not talk about me. I want to know how things are going. Did you get a chance to meet Mac?”
“You mean your dad? Yes.” Her lips tightened, and I could sense it wasn’t a very pleasant meeting.
“I warned you.”
She nodded slowly. “You did warn me. I’ll give you that.”
Laughing out of nervousness, I said, “He was never the same after he lost my mother to cancer.”
“That’s sad. I bet he loved her.”
“That he did. Did the pastor come out and help?”
“Sure did. He showed up with two dudes who did all the heavy lifting for us. Such a blessing. Do you go to the church out here?”
“Off and on. I live in town, so I mostly attend a church by my house. Charlie’s a good man, though. If you’re looking for a church family, that’s a good one.” Glancing toward Kayla’s bedroom door, I continued. “Great youth program. They just went to Mexico not too long ago.”
Her countenance fell and her voice quieted. “I don’t think Kayla will be attending.”
Confused, I asked, “How come?”
Whispering, she leaned toward me, giving me a whiff of the perfume she was wearing, thus only confusing my mind even more than it already was. “She’s pregnant.”
“Oh, wow.”
Leaning back, she seemed to be relaxed after getting it off her chest. Peering over at me, she said, “You know that question in the back of every parent's mind? Wonderin
g if you messed up your children or not? I don’t have the question there anymore. I know I botched it.”
“You can’t blame it on yourself.”
“Yeah, I can.”
“Care to explain?”
She shook her head. “Do you have kids?”
“No, I don’t.”
My heart flinched at the question. I knew it was odd to be in my thirties and still have no kids, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I wasn’t able to have kids. I had found out this fact from a doctor years ago. I would never know the feeling she mentioned.
“Did you bring the key?” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the keychain with three keys on it, along with one of my credit cards. “This one is for the main house, this one the guest house, and then this one is for the shed.”
“Shed?”
“Yeah, it’s around back of the main house, down the hill by the creek. It doesn’t have much in there. Some old gardening equipment of my mother’s, and then a snow shovel and the lawn mower. It was on the keyring, so I left it. So for Mac’s meals, it’s pretty basic. Bacon and eggs for breakfast at seven, a sandwich around noon, and then whatever you can find around the house for dinner. Here’s a credit card of mine for groceries. Buy whatever you need for food but keep the receipts.”
“Okay. Great.” Taking the keys and credit card in her hand, she stood up from the couch.
Taking the cue, I stood up with her. I caught another wonderful whiff of that perfume she was wearing, and I acted without thinking. “I can take you and Kayla around Spokane and show you the city sometime. Maybe grab a bite at the Clinkerdagger, this great restaurant we have.”
She shook her head and took a step further away. “Thanks for the offer, Luke, truly, but I think we’ll be okay.”
I regretted the offer immediately. “Okay.”
Kayla walked out into the living room. “Mom. I don’t feel so good. Nausea.”
Turning her head to Kayla, she said, “Okay. Give me a second.”
She walked me to the door. “Thanks again for everything, Luke.”
“You’re welcome. Take care.”
Chapter 11-Hannah
BLINKING MY EYES OPEN THE next morning, it took a full second to realize we weren’t still in Flagstaff. The absence of sirens or traffic just outside the window was welcoming. No conversations taking place out on balconies of the residences next door. The silence was not only welcoming, but a pleasant change as I awoke.
Turning my head, I saw it was 6:45am on the alarm clock. I sat up and then got out of bed. Without a care about my appearance, I grabbed the keys off the key hook that Luke had given me and ventured outside the guest house and over to Mac’s to start on breakfast.
After making the coffee, I pulled out a frying pan and put it on the stove over medium heat. Grabbing the eggs and bacon from the fridge, I took them over to the stove and set them down. As I did, I caught sight of the salt and pepper shakers. They were the same ones my parents had back when I was a child. Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper porcelain characters. I thought about Mac losing his wife and my heart felt a sting of pain for him.
After the eggs were done, I cooked the bacon. As the bacon was frying on the stove, the door that led out to the back opened.
It was Kayla.
With one eye still shut, she sat down at the table and tightened her robe around her frame.
“That smells so good.”
Smiling, I flipped the bacon over with the fork. “Grab a plate from the cupboard.”
After dishing her up, I took a plate down the hallway in search of Mac’s bedroom. Finding the door, I opened it a fraction and saw him sitting up on his bed with his lamp on. He had his nose in a western novel and set it down upon my entering.
He smiled and said, “Thank you,” as I set the plate down on his lap.
“Oh, wait. Your bandage.”
“I already took care of it. Remember? I don’t need help, just food. Could you get me a cup of coffee?”
“Sure. How do you like it?”
“Black.”
Grabbing a mugful, I ventured back to his room. Upon entering, I saw that he was finishing a bite.
“So your daughter,” he started to say, then wiped his mouth with his napkin. “What’s her deal?”
Shaking my head, I shrugged. “What do you mean?”
“I saw her outside by the fence. She was holding a hand against her belly. She pregnant?”
“That’s observant of you to notice.” I handed him his cup of coffee. “Yes, she is.”
“She ought not to treat herself like a used car. She’ll end up with too many miles and nobody will want her.”
Swallowing my tongue, I flashed a fake smile. “She’s sixteen, Mac. She’s not a used car. It was one guy.” Letting out a sigh as I felt like I had to defend my daughter and my parenting, I continued. “I was not happy about it, trust me. That’s why we moved far away from the father.”
“Sure. Don’t let him be responsible for his own offspring. Sounds about right. Let the government take care of it. Right?”
Furrowing my eyebrows, I said, “Wait one minute. We don’t get any assistance from the government, and we won’t be starting either. Not that it’s any of your business, but she’s a good Christian girl and she just made a mistake.”
“Christian.” He scoffed. “You Christians are pathetic. You ignore the reality all around you and just cling to your crutch of faith like it’s going to save you. Tell me where your God is when you’re looking into your dying wife’s eyes as she fears the ever after. You tell me where he is!” His face was red with anger.
Pausing, I was careful not to say anything.
“What? Be straight with me. I’m straight with you.”
“You don’t believe in God?”
“No, I know He is real, but that doesn’t mean I like Him. He only picks and chooses what He cares about while the rest of us suffer.”
“Bad things happen in life, Mac, but it’s up to us how we react.”
“Nice cliché.” Taking a gulp of his coffee, he said, “You’d better keep boys off my property or I’ll shoot them. I’m a great shot and I’m not afraid to kill. I’m old. They can lock me up because I’m going to die soon anyway.”
“I got to go . . . do anything . . . but this.”
Excusing myself quickly from Mac’s room, I felt a knot in my chest. He was so pleasant at first when I came in that morning and things took a horrible turn. Returning to the kitchen, I opted to not speak an ill word about Mac to Kayla. I wasn’t going to gossip, and that was what it’d be if I spoke a word about the man.
“How’s Mac?” she asked, looking up from her eggs.
“He’s awake.” There. Truthful, yet not gossipy.
Pausing at the counter, I set my hand against the counter as I felt my body weakened from the conversation with Mac. I was going to need God’s help to get through the days with this man.
Chapter 12-Hannah
THAT AFTERNOON, I DECIDED TO venture out to the shed to see what was inside. Without a job outside of feeding the grumpy old man and making sure he hadn’t fallen every so often, I found myself with more time than I knew what to do with. Walking down the hill and to the old rickety shed, I unfastened the lock using the key Luke had given me.
Opening the doors, the smell of ‘old’ poured from the darkness. A thick layer of dirt and dust covered the entirety of the shed, only the light from between the boards of the roof shining in. Spotting a wheel barrow and also some basic gardening tools along with a bag of fertilizer, I maneuvered into the shed to retrieve them all. Grabbing the hoe, the gloves, and fertilizer, I loaded them into the wheel barrow.
“Mom?”
I jumped and turned at the sound of Kayla.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to work on that garden by the guest house.”
She smiled but didn’t say anything
about the garden. “I tried loading my school’s website online and I got an error.”
“Did you make sure to use the guest wireless?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m not dumb.”
“I’ll be there in a second.”
She went back up the hill. Shutting and locking the shed, I pushed the wheel barrow up the hill and parked it in front of the guest house. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I paused before proceeding inside to help Kayla. I took in a deep breath of the country air. I wasn’t sure how Mac could be that angry and bitter living on a property like this, but I knew I needed to focus on the good if I was going to make it through.
Once inside, I walked over to the desk. Kayla moved out of the way and I tried to connect to the wireless network.
Nothing.
Rebooting the computer, I tried again.
Nothing.
“I don’t know, dear. I’ll shoot a text to Luke and let him know.”
“Sweet. No school today. Can we go to town?”
“Newport or Spokane?”
“Newport. I want to see the little town. I was doing research the other day back in Flagstaff online and heard about this really cool statue they have in the middle of town.”
“We’ll go in a bit. I need seeds to plant anyway. Do you want to help weed the garden?”
She crinkled her nose. “I’m pregnant, Mom. I don’t know if that’s really good for me to be doing.”
I laughed. “You’re two months along. You’ll be fine! It’ll probably even be good for you. Help your mother. Will ya?”
“Okay.”
As we ventured outside, Kayla asked about Luke. “Why’d you turn him down for showing us around Spokane? It was obvious he was interested in you.”
“I know, but moving here was about me and you. It’s not about finding a guy. We need God and each other. Not Luke.”
She stopped. Grabbing my hand, she peered into my eyes. “Mom. I just don’t want you to be alone forever, and if it’s because of me, worried I’ll be hurt, just know I won’t be. I am okay with your moving on from dad. Dad was horrible to you, and a new guy might not be. And Luke seemed nice and cute. Just saying.”
