I wasn’t going to let that happen.
Earth had been lonely and quiet. So far, Bardawulf had been loud and messy, and I loved everything about it—the lack of solitude, the half-dozen people bossing me around and trying to babysit me everywhere I went, even the haters, like Kent. This was the life meant for me and that made it irreplaceable. I would face anything if it meant protecting these people—even if the enemy I had to face was myself.
Dawn broke cold and gray. It was the first overcast day I’d seen since arriving, but I dressed for battle and slipped out the door, anyway. If it rained on me, so be it. Today was here, rain or shine, and I had a monster to learn how to kill.
Xander had been dozing on the couch when I left, but I made sure to leave a note with specific details about where I’d gone. I wasn’t in the mood to argue about my absence again, but I also didn’t want anyone to worry if their sleep-deprived brains forgot about my training with Dominik.
Besides, I needed someone to stay with Peter. Xander understood that.
The gray morning was quiet, the streets empty. I spotted more than a few cracks in the foundations of the houses I passed thanks to the quakes last night. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be difficult to repair. But it was another reminder that this place wasn’t our home. Not really.
And it was never meant to be permanent.
I wondered what Kent would think now. Or any of the others that wanted to just bury their heads in the sand and forget about the war waging out there.
By the time I reached the field, I’d worked my temper up high enough to hopefully keep me in one piece when this Dominik came at me. Or maybe he’d be easier, like Xander said. A good teacher rather than a provoking bully.
Not that I’d ever call Eamon any of that to his face. I swiped absently at the sleeve still covering the bandage on my arm. I’d have to be careful of that today. At least my ankle was feeling better.
Something dark and furry flashed on my left.
I moved out of the way just in time to see a paw whiz by my head. Sharp claws extended from the paw, narrowly missing my cheek. I stumbled backward and straightened as the wolf spun and faced me.
My mouth fell open.
Not a wolf. A bear. A wolf-bear.
“Holy shit,” I breathed. He was huge. Easily bigger than Eamon, and I hadn’t seen a wolf in town come close to his size. But this one was at least a head taller and definitely heavier. I assumed weight equaled strength when it came to wolves, but I wasn’t sure. And with all that extra body mass, he was probably slower.
He gave a throaty growl, flashing canines in the process, and came at me.
I yelped and jumped sideways, but he wasn’t easily tricked and twisted around to meet me. His teeth snapped dangerously close to my fingers, and I jerked my hand back.
Our eyes met, and he pulled his lips back in a menacing smile. Or possibly a threatening snarl. It could have been either one.
“I thought this was supposed to be a training session,” I said, already backing away at the look in his eyes.
“It is,” he said and took a step toward me.
“I already did the attempted murder thing with Eamon,” I said.
He stopped and crouched, coiled to spring. “Looks like he failed.”
My eyes narrowed. “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?”
The words sounded haughty, even to me, but I couldn’t help it. This was not what I’d had in mind.
Dominik only laughed—except that it sounded like a wheezy growl. “I know exactly you who are, your highness.” He spat the last two words as if they were an insult. Then his eyes narrowed. “I also knew your father. He was the only Zorovian to ever walk away from me without a scratch. I’ve waited a long time to see if his daughter can do the same.”
He sprang again, and I lurched into motion, dodging him and twisting out of reach as he continued to come, jaws snapping and claws outstretched. One of his claws caught on the fabric of my shirt and ripped clean through, tearing the sleeve to shreds. I paused long enough to glance at the bandage it had revealed. Dominik did the same, his yellow eyes honing in on the fresh gauze. When our eyes met again, I hardened my gaze, daring him to ask about it.
He didn’t.
Instead, he renewed his attempts to claw and bite me.
Despite his massive size, he was impossibly fast. It was a near-miss every time and took everything I had to stay ahead of him. There was no room for thought or even doubt. Everything else dropped away, and I threw myself into staying out of his reach.
My temper simmered just below the surface though. I had asked for help and this was what I got? It wasn’t helping anyone, least of all me. If he wanted a fight, he was going to get it.
Somewhere between another slashing claw nearly ripping into my hip and a snapping canine dangerously close to my cheek, I lost the last hold I had on my control. Before I understood what had shifted—or even how—I stopped simply holding him off and started attacking him back.
The next time his paw swung out at me, I ducked rather than jumping clear. When I came up again, I swung my fist out and made contact with his jaw. The blow drove him sideways, but he recovered way too quickly. And now he was too damn close.
His shoulder hit me in the ribs, and I stumbled and went down on my ass.
“Ugh,” I grunted, and the air whooshed out of my lungs.
Dominik lunged and a massive paw landed on my chest, knocking me flat on my back and pinning me to the ground.
I winced at the pressure of his weight, fully aware that if he bore down on me, he’d crush me long before his teeth or claws did any real damage.
“You are holding back,” he said, peering down at me with large, yellow eyes.
“No shit,” I muttered. “Why do you think I’m here?”
His paw lifted away, and he backed up, still studying me. “I have no idea,” he admitted. “Clearly, your combat skills need work, but you didn’t bother to engage any of your other gifts. I’m confused.”
I sat up and eyed him. “What makes you think I have other gifts?”
“You are your father’s daughter. And every time you open your mouth, all I hear is your mother’s fire. You cannot possibly be Alina Leone and not have gifts.” He blinked and added, “Besides that, I’ve seen them.”
My gaze sharpened at the way he’d said the last part. “You saw them when?”
“When you knew who you were.”
“I knew you before the invasion?” I said.
He nodded.
When he didn’t say more, I sat up straighter, no longer quite as afraid. If he were going to hurt me or even continue our fight, he would have done it already. Instead, the moment I’d gone down, he’d backed off.
“What kind of gifts did I have?” I asked.
“Shouldn’t you already know that?” he asked.
I bit my lip, letting my gaze drop to the shredded sleeve hanging from my arm.
“Your father used to yell at me for ruining his clothes,” he said, but there was more amusement than remorse.
I looked up at him again, letting the shredded sleeve fall from my fingertips. “Peter used to yell at me for burning his clothes.”
Dominik’s huge eyes danced in quiet amusement. “It wouldn’t have been the first time.”
“What do you mean?”
“You once singed the pants off your tutor, Javier.”
“I did?” My eyes went wide with disbelief. It was the first I’d heard of this story—or of my heat being used at all before we’d fled to Earth. “Wait, I had the ability to do that before the invasion?”
“It was new,” he said quietly. “Your parents thought it best to keep it quiet until you learned to control it.”
Something about the way he said it made me think…
“And to keep Tharos from finding out,” I added.
“Yes.”
I studied him, willing any memory of even familiarity to spark. Nothing did. “I wish I could remember,
” I said.
“You will.”
His words were absolutely certain, and I stilled. “What do you mean?”
His gaze flicked to something over my shoulder. I turned and spotted a female figure coming up the path. “Who is that?” I asked.
“Your past,” he said simply, and then he rose and started walking away.
“Wait!” I jumped up and ran after him. “Where are you going? We’re supposed to have a training lesson.”
“Until you remove the block on your mind, I cannot help you improve beyond what you just did to me.”
“But my gifts. The heat… I didn’t even get to use it.”
“Yes, and whose fault is that?” he challenged. I opened my mouth to answer but no sound came. “You could have called it at anytime but you didn’t. Why not?”
“I… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
He snorted then started walking again. Behind me, the woman was getting closer, but I ignored her and chased after Dominik again. “You can’t just leave. Can we at least make an appointment to train again?”
“Go make peace with your past first. Then we’ll talk.”
At that, I gave up chasing him and watched him go, confused and frustrated. This was not how this morning was supposed to go.
I hadn’t made a single inch of progress in my fighting ability. Instead, my trainer had ruined my shirt, and then he’d just walked off. This wasn’t shaping up to be a winning sort of day, and no part of me wanted to go home to tell Peter I’d lost so quickly. Or worse, tell Xander.
Footsteps behind me made me turn quickly.
I sighed in relief at the sight of the woman. I’d almost forgotten about her, but now I was curious. “Beck? What are you doing out here? Is everything okay? Is it Ben?”
“Ben’s fine,” she assured me.
“Xander’s at home with Peter,” I said.
She smiled. “I know. I came here to find you.”
“Me?” I frowned. “Why?”
“There’s something I’d like to do for you. Something I promised your mother.” Her smile was soft, but at the mention of my mother, my heart constricted.
“My mother?” I repeated.
She nodded and the way she looked at me… I trusted Beck. The openness in her expression, like a soft promise that was constantly offered, put me at ease in a way no one else ever had. Especially after only knowing her for a couple of days. I knew she wouldn’t hurt me, but there was something about her words—about what she was offering—that made me pause.
Whatever she was about to say, it was important.
“Your mother loved you so much, Alina. Words are not enough to express… She understood the threat against us better than anyone, and she believed in you—in what you would someday do for us.”
I shook my head, confused at the tears gathering in her eyes that warred with the happy smile on her lips. “I don’t understand. What did you promise her?”
“She knew taking your memories was the only way to protect your future,” Beck said. “But she also knew the wisdom of preserving your past. And now, here you are, delivered back to us after all this time. There is hope in that. So much hope. But you are not whole, and so it is time for the second part of your mother’s plan.”
“What’s the second part?” I asked.
“Returning your memories,” she answered. “I’ve come to give you back your past.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
I watched as Beck moved around her kitchen gathering items. Already, the counter was covered in various spices, a large bottle, and a mortar and pestle. I hadn’t asked what she was making or what a recipe had to do with her words out on that field, because from the moment she’d said she could give my memories back to me, words had been harder to form than I wanted to admit. It was everything I’d always wanted—so why was I completely terrified?
“You know, I appreciate your offer to help restore my memories, but are you sure this is the best time?” I asked. “Eamon’s recon team should be back soon with a report on any trail the Ngili might have left last night. I should be available for that in case they need me.”
“You will be,” she assured me easily. “It won’t take long.”
I frowned. “And Peter. He was pretty exhausted after last night. If he wakes and his energy is too low, it could weaken the shield force.”
She glanced over, one arm reaching for something on a high shelf. “All the more reason for you to be whole again.”
I sighed. She was right. And I was all out of excuses.
Beck finished gathering the ingredients and began dumping some of the spices into the wooden bowl. When she was done, she began crushing the herbs with the blunt end of the pestle. “There is nothing to fear, Alina.”
Her words startled me. Or, more accurately, the fact that she’d read me so well startled me. I blinked and lifted my chin. “I’m not afraid.”
She paused her efforts and offered a soft smile. “Amazing.”
“What?”
“You look so much like her. It’s almost as if she’s standing here with us now.”
I swallowed hard as I realized that before the day was out, I’d know what she meant about the resemblance. I’d be able to recall what my mother looked like. And my father. I’d remember what it was like to have a family. Suddenly, my heart soared at the prospect of what we were about to do.
Beck gave me a knowing look and went back to work, alternating between mixing and crushing. “Peter tells me you like tea, is that right?”
I licked my lips, practically tasting a strong cup of coffee in that moment. “It’s not my number one, but it’s better than nothing. Why?” I walked over and eyed the contents of the bowl. Dark tea leaves were mixed with mysterious herbs and spices.
“I’m making a special tea called mhuze. Your mother showed me how to make it a long time ago.”
“What’s in it?” I asked, peering over her shoulder to get a better look.
“Black tea leaves and wild pepper along with some other spices found in various plants native to Zorovia.”
I turned to her, surprised. “How did you get them here?”
“Some of them I brought with me when we fled. The rest… Eamon sneaked in a few years ago to check on things. He brought me back some spices.”
My eyes widened. Eamon had been to Zorovia since the invasion? And lived to tell about it? “How did he get in and out without being seen?”
“It was right after Neila did the Calling Ceremony and awakened the old magic.”
“So he used a tree? I mean, one of the ancient ones?”
She nodded. “The Shadows had burned all of the others. They must have thought they’d gotten this one too. It was charred, but not quite dead yet. Though, I’m sure by now it is. From what I understand, he had a close call trying to get back out again.”
I tried to picture Eamon sneaking around under the creepy watchful eyes of the Shadows and shuddered. “I don’t understand. Why would Eamon risk a trip back there for some spices?”
“It wasn’t for the spices,” she said, shuffling to the stove where she’d set a tea kettle on a burner to warm.
“Then what was it for?”
She opened her mouth as if to reply and then closed it again. After another beat, she said, “You’ll see.”
Before I could ask what that meant, the kettle began to whistle. Beck slid it off the burner and flipped the lid open. Then she reached for the bowl and poured the contents directly into the steaming kettle.
“We’ll give it a minute to steep, and then you can get started.”
My brows shot up. “That tea is going to give me my memories back?”
“Sort of.” She went back to shuffling through cabinets and came back a moment later with an empty mug.
Just one.
I eyed it skeptically.
“The tea will act as a tool, opening your mind and your heart to receive what was taken,” Beck explained.
“And once the t
ea opens me up?” I asked, eyeing the kettle like I would an opponent.
“The magic your mother left behind will do the rest. All you have to do is let it in.”
I frowned at that. I didn’t have a ton of experience with magic. Okay, none, really, but what she was saying didn’t make sense. “I don’t think there is any magic left,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, I would have known or noticed all this time, right?”
Beck smiled. Without a word, she poured me a cup of steaming tea and held it out. When I didn’t move to take it, she set it on the counter beside me.
“I promise you, there is nothing to be afraid of,” she said.
“What if…” I looked up at her, letting the raw uncertainty leak in as I said, “What if I don’t like who I used to be?”
Beck’s smile faded, and her expression softened. “Oh, darling, come here.” She reached for me, arms outstretched, and I let her pull me into a hug. “I understand your hesitation, but there is nothing waiting for you that you don’t already know about yourself. You are no different from then ‘til now.”
She squeezed once and then pulled back to look at me.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been hugged, especially by a mother. Any mother. Not just mine. It comforted me and also made me antsy to remember my own. “Really?” I asked.
“Really,” she echoed.
“Thanks,” I told her.
Beck nodded at the cup of tea still cooling. It sat on the counter in front of me, untouched. “Try it.”
With nervous fingers, I reached for the cup and took a sip. Just as quickly, I lowered it again and stared into the dark liquid as I swallowed. The moment my mouth was empty, I ran my tongue over my teeth. The tea tasted strange and exotic—like a summer breeze laced with citrus and lime.
It was unlike anything I’d ever tasted. “Not bad,” I said.
A second later, the flavor exploded in my chest like fireworks.
My head jerked up.
“The herbs work quickly,” Beck said.
I gasped as I began to feel the sensations from the tea throughout the rest of my body. The heat in my chest traveled with it—a sort of spark inside me that made it hard to be still. I looked over at Beck with wide eyes. “What’s happening to me?”
The Girl Who Called The Stars Page 22
