by Erin Osborne
I shake my head no. The first thing I want to know is what’s going on. What happened to me because I can’t remember a single thing. I try to figure out what happened when Steel leans down and kisses my forehead softly. There’s tears in his eyes that he’s trying to hide from me, but I can see the glossiness. As is usual for the man showing me a side not many people see right now, Steel is trying to be strong and not let me see his feelings. This is part of the reason I didn’t let things progress further when I was in Dander Falls. He let me in more than I did for him, but he still held me at arm’s length.
“W-What h-happened to me?” I ask, letting the confusion take over.
“I don’t know. I got a call from Kim sayin’ you didn’t come home and that she was to call me if anythin’ ever happened to you,” he says, kissing my hand and holding it against his face. “You don’t remember anythin’?”
I pause and try to think about the last thing I can remember. There was a phone call while I was working. Frank tried to get me to go home early and I refused. All of a sudden the memories come flooding back and I see Alan and what he did to me. The beating, the threat that I was going to go with him, fear for Quinn and me, and the man pulling into the parking lot. I can feel my body shaking at the memories and an overwhelming sense of fear consumes me not knowing where my daughter is.
“A-Alan,” I say, looking up at Steel and letting him see the blatant fear in my eyes. “W-Where’s Quinn?”
“It’s okay angel. She’s with Kim and Maddie at Kim’s apartment. Shadow is there and Tank, Tech, and Crash are here with me. They’re standin’ guard so no one is gettin’ to either of my girls,” he says, rubbing his hand down the side of my face like he’s done a few times and I believe him. He’s going to do what he has to in order to make sure that Quinn and I are safe from my brother. “I’m goin’ to get a doctor so we can find out what’s goin’ to happen now.”
Steel reaches over and pushes a button laying on the other side of me. “Can I help you?” a woman’s voice comes out of nowhere.
“She’s awake finally,” Steel answers for me, taking control of the situation.
“I’ll let the doctor know immediately,” she replies, and the silence surrounds us again.
“How long have I been here?” I ask, taking another small sip of the ice water cooling my sore throat down.
“I’ve been here three days. So, I’m goin’ to say you’ve been here four dependin’ on when you were brought in,” he says, sitting back as the doctor makes his way in the room with a chart in his hand and glasses resting on the top of his head. He honestly looks more like a gym rat than any doctor I’ve ever seen before.
The doctor checks my vitals and asks me a ton of questions. I can see Steel out of the corner of my eye paying extremely close attention to everything going on right now. When the doctor begins to list my injuries, the air in the room becomes thick with tension and the rage pouring from the man sitting by my side. I’ve got a sprained wrist, bruises and cuts along my upper body, a nasty gash on the back of my head that they thought they were going to have to cut open to take care of the bleeding. I can’t believe that Alan did all this shit to me. Apparently at one point, they thought I had internal bleeding, but that was ruled out. Now, I just want to get the hell out of here and go home with my baby.
“So, doc, when can she break out of here?” Steel asks, sensing the question on my mind right now.
“I’d like to keep her overnight for observation while she’s awake. If everything looks good today, it could be tomorrow or the day after,” the doctor responds, looking down at his chart.
Fuck! I don’t want to be in this place any longer than I have to. Even though I’ve been knocked out, the time I’ve already spent here is too long. I’m too vulnerable and know that Alan can get to me whenever he wants to. Steel senses the direction my thoughts have gone down, and I see his mind whirling with ways to get me out of here sooner. As long as I’m safe and not in any more harm.
“Doc, we live a long way from here. Is there any way we can get her out of here in the mornin’ so that we can head back home? I promise to keep an eye on her and stop at a hospital if I think anythin’ is wrong with her. Once we get back home, I’ll have a doctor check her over and make sure that she’s okay,” Steel says, well more like commands, as he moves his chair closer to me again. He takes my hand in his and waits while the doctor thinks about what Steel just told him.
“Well, I’d really like to see her stay here,” he begins to tell us, finally looking up from the chart in his hands.
“Listen, there’s someone after her and I’m not goin’ to risk this happenin’ to her again. I’ve already talked to the cops, but if this person doesn’t want to be found, he’s not goin’ to be. I know you can’t guarantee her safety and you really don’t want to see what will happen to you if this person gets in here to finish the job he started already. So, I’m askin’ again if Harley can leave in the mornin’ and I’ll make sure she’s taken care of until we get home,” Steel says, standing from the chair and letting go of my hand to place both of his fists on the bed next to my body. His stance screams dominance and the force that he is. I wouldn’t want to go up against him if I didn’t know him the way that I do.
“If you promise to do everything you’ve said, then I’ll release her in the morning. Does that work for you?” the doctor asks, taking a few steps closer to the door so he can make a hasty retreat.
“Thank you,” I finally say, reaching out to grab Steel’s arm. He needs to calm down and I don’t know any other way to get him to do that.
Once the doctor leaves the room, Steel and I talk about random stuff until he gets a call and steps into the attached bathroom, so I can’t overhear him. Hopefully someone has found my brother so that he doesn’t come after Quinn and me. I glance out the window while I wait for him to make his way back in the room. I’m not sure that I’m ready to go back to Dander Falls with Steel, but he took the option of staying here away from me. Well, if I’m honest, Alan took that option away from me when he found me and beat the fuck out of me. Quinn is an unknown to him at this point, and I want to keep it that way.
“I gotta run in a few minutes, angel,” Steel says, sitting down next to me. “Maddie is goin’ to come sit with you while I’m gone. Do you want me to bring anythin’ back to you?”
“No. Just you coming back here safe is all I need. Quinn needs to get to know her dad,” I tell him, not bothering to filter my response to him.
“I can do that,” he answers, holding my hand again and watching the nonsense on the TV.
There’s so much that needs to be said between us but lying in a hospital bed isn’t the right time to do that. We’ll have plenty of time to talk and clear the air on the way back to Dander Falls. He needs to know my reasoning for leaving and keeping Quinn from him. Although I did send him the letter, that’s not good enough. I should’ve talked to him in person as soon as I found out. My fear of Alan overrode all common sense though. Especially once I laid eyes on the beautiful angel that we created together. Steel also has to tell me why he never responded in any way when he read the letter. I know that Tech could’ve found me if Steel put him on it. It’s not like I tried overly hard to hide myself.
I’m not saying that I didn’t take any precautions to stay hidden from Alan, because I did. But, he also doesn’t have a motorcycle club backing him, and he doesn’t have a guy like Tech to find those that don’t want to be found. So, why didn’t he find me? Why didn’t he want to get to know his daughter? Is he going to be an absentee dad, only showing up for the easy parts of his daughter’s life? So many questions and possibilities float through my mind as Steel and I sit in a comfortable silence with only the sound from the TV in the room. We’re both lost in our own thoughts until a knock sounds on the door and I see Maddie poking her head inside.
“Tank and the guys are waitin’ for you downstairs,” she says, walking in and taking the seat that Steel just vacated.
>
We sit in silence for a few minutes. I’m not sure what to say to the woman sitting next to me. She’s from Clifton Falls and we really haven’t had a chance to interact. I make it a habit not to interact with any of the old ladies, accept for the day that Keegan, Darcy, and Riley paid me a visit at Steel’s apartment. It’s not a habit of mine to go out of my way to talk to anyone. The only exception for that is Kim. She’s become a friend of sorts and I haven’t filled her in about everything going on with me.
“Harley, I’m sorry that this happened to you,” Maddie says, muting the TV and putting her full attention on me. “I know that we don’t know one another. Just like I heard about your visit from the other girls. I’m not here to ‘fix’ you as they were trying to do. What I’m going to do is let you know what you’re missing out on. Steel is an amazing guy. He goes to any lengths to protect those he cares about. He’s loyal as hell to his brothers in the club, the old ladies, even the club girls. But, he’s picky as fuck about where he sticks his dick. I’ve never heard about him as torn up over someone as he was when you took off. He’s been lost for so long now. You need to either decide to be all in with him or walk away and make sure he knows that you can’t give him what he’s looking for. Or he was until he found out you left and took his heart with you.
“I was in the same spot you were at one point. The single mom of a baby girl, an abusive ex who controlled me and turned me into his slave. My ex decided to not claim our daughter as his, calling me a slut, whore, and any other name he could think of. When I first met Tank and moved to Clifton Falls from Dander Falls, I didn’t know what to do. I was so used to everyone leaving, the abuse, and being in solitude that I was overwhelmed and scared to reach out. I’m guessing that’s where you’re at right now. That’s why you act like such a hard bitch and don’t let anyone close to you. Am I right?”
“Yes,” I reply in a whisper, tears shining from my eyes. “Alan has managed to take everything, including our parents, away from me. I don’t see a point in getting close to anyone when sooner or later they’ll leave me. That includes Steel. Trust me, I know that he’s a great guy. I’ve spent time in his bed for years now. I can’t let it go farther than that though.”
“Why? Alan is going to be taken care of and then what are you going to do? You’ll have no one by your side to help with your beautiful daughter. When you want to share something with someone, who are you going to do that with? Or what happens if you get sick and need help with Quinn? When you go to bed at night or just want some adult company? No one will be there because you’re holding us all at arm’s length. It’s not just Steel that you need to let in. We all want to be here for you. Alan can’t hurt us all, no one will let him get close to us. He was able to get to you because you ran and didn’t trust in the club. Didn’t trust in Steel,” Maddie responds, placing her hand over mine. “Trust me, when I met Bailey, Tank, and everyone else, I was skeptical as hell about the help they were offering me. I didn’t believe they were going to accept me as I was after what my ex put me through. Tank hasn’t left my side though. And neither has anyone else in the club. Give us a chance. And if you ever need anyone else to talk to, Tank is a good one to go to. Don’t be surprised if you randomly find him on your doorstep either. He knows when one of us need him.”
I lay my head back and think about everything Maddie has told me. Can I really take that chance and let these people in? Will Steel still want me once we get back to his clubhouse? There’s so much I have to think about and I don’t even know where to begin with the thoughts swirling around my head. I’m starting to get a headache with all the thoughts and feelings going through me and I just want to get some more sleep.
“I think I’m going to try to take a nap while Steel is gone. I’ll take what you’ve said into consideration, Maddie, I promise. My intention isn’t to hurt Steel, that’s why I told him the score before we got started,” I say, laying back down and closing my eyes.
Waking up in the middle of the night, I see Steel sitting next to me. His head is laying on the bed by my side. One arm is stretched out down the bed while his other arm is half under his head, so he can hold my hand again. Since I’ve woken up, Steel has had his hands on me in one way or another. If he hasn’t been touching me, he’s made sure he’s as close to me as he can get. He has shown repeatedly how much he wants to be there for me, be by my side, support me, protect me, and just be in the same place I am. I’m trying to remember again why I’ve been fighting this thing between us for so long. I don’t think I have it in me to fight anymore. And not just with Steel, with everyone surrounding me on a daily basis.
“You’re up,” Steel suddenly murmurs, sleep lacing his voice making it low and growly. “Sorry my business took longer than I thought. Did you and Maddie have a good afternoon?”
“Surprisingly we did,” I answer, running my fingers through Steel’s hair.
“I’m glad. Why don’t you get some more rest? We have a big day today between gettin’ you out of here and then goin’ home. You are comin’ home with me. You and Quinn belong where I am. I’m not missin’ anymore of her life,” Steel says, the command and dominance strong through his voice. He’s letting me know that I’m not going to be given a choice in the matter.
“I know we are. I’m tired of being away from Dander Falls. I just don’t want Alan to know I’m back there,” I tell him, letting a little of my fears out in the open.
“Let me worry about that twatwaffle,” is Steel’s only response.
Laying back against the pillows, I let sleep claim me once more. Thoughts of my daughter and moving back home fill my head. There’s so much I’m going to have to do when we get back. I’ll have to find an apartment, a job, someone to help me out with Quinn while I’m working, and so much more. It’s going to be a busy few weeks.
Chapter Six
Harley
THIS MORNING HAS BEEN A WHIRLWIND OF ACTIVITY. If I wasn’t pretty much stuck on the couch with my daughter, I think my head would be spinning more than it already is. When we got back to the apartment, I walked in to find that my entire place was trashed. There was nothing salvageable at all, including everything of Quinn’s. Steel flipped his shit and threw some more stuff around my already demolished house. I was quickly ushered back to Kim’s place along with Maddie. The guys are going through everything to see if they can figure out who did this to me. I don’t need them to tell me that it was my brother. This also means that Alan now knows about the baby. My fear ratchets up to a level I’ve never known at this knowledge.
So, once Steel calmed down we were taken out to the SUV and we started our journey back to Dander Falls. I hate leaving Kim and the goodbye was extremely tearful on my behalf. She promised to call all the time and once we’re settled in she’s going to come and visit us. My hope is that I can eventually convince her to move there, but time will tell. Kim is used to doing her own thing and I know that she’ll dig her heels in if she doesn’t want to do something.
Steel is riding with Quinn and me while Tank and Maddie are on his bike. If she gets tired or too sore, she’ll get in here with us. We really need to start talking about things but I’m not sure I’m ready to go down that road. Quinn is starting to doze off and I know that this is the perfect opportunity to talk. I’m just getting up the nerve to begin when Steel beats me to it.
“You know I’m not happy at all with you for hidin’ the fact that we have a daughter, right?” he asks, glancing at me before turning his attention back to the road.
“I know. I was going to tell you but then I didn’t hear anything from you after I sent you the letter. Don’t tell me that Tech couldn’t have found me if you wanted him to. I know better than that. So, I figured that you weren’t interested, and I left it alone,” I respond, taking in his features that look so tense and angry right now as I shift in my seat, so I can look at the man quickly capturing my heart.
“I just recently read the letter. I was so pissed off that you just took off the way
that you did and wanted no part in hearin’ any excuses about why. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to open it so many times and read what you had to say, but I couldn’t do it. I’ve wanted so much more from you for so long and I don’t think that’s ever goin’ to happen. Is it Harley?” he asks, pain and hesitation clearly marring his handsome face.
“I want to, Steel. More than you could possibly know. When you go through life havin’ everyone leave you, that’s what your used to. It won’t matter how many times and how many ways someone shows you different, you stick with what you know. Right now, I want to be with you, build a life, and see where this takes us. But, it’s going to take time,” I respond, letting him know what I’m feeling for the first time in my life.
“We both have to work on some things. Because it’s not fair for me to expect you to open up with me when I won’t give you the same respect. So, I can’t believe I’m goin’ to fuckin’ say this, we can’t have sex again until we’re sure about where we’re goin’ from here. I’ll tell you now that I lost my shit when you disappeared and fucked anythin’ with a pussy. I’m done doin’ that and won’t touch anyone that’s not you,” he says, letting me know that he wasn’t a monk the last year I was gone.
“It hurts to hear that, but I can’t blame you when I wasn’t there. I agree that we shouldn’t do anything while we’re figuring this shit out. It will do nothing but further complicate an already complicated situation,” I answer, turning in my seat to look out the window for a few minutes watching the scenery fly by as I try to get my thoughts together. “Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know. I guess we spend time together and I get to know my daughter. We get to know one another as people instead of just fuck buddies,” Steel says, glancing from me to the rearview mirror to look at our daughter sleeping in her car seat. “We’ll figure it out as we go.”
