‘No. It’s not about us. It’s about Lucy. You are not going to believe this.’ Sarah pulled her phone out of her pocket and showed Darren the message.
‘What the hell?’ Darren’s mouth hung open like a fish’s.
‘I know.’ Sarah sat down opposite him. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘So he never knew?’
‘Looks that way.’
‘All these years he had two kids and he never knew. Jesus, that’s terrible. The poor fella must be demented.’
‘I don’t think he realizes Dylan is his. He just recognized Kelly because she obviously looks like him.’
‘That Gabriel is some bastard, telling him Lucy had the abortion.’
‘Yes, but Tom should never have run away like that. He should have stayed with Lucy and then he’d have known she’d changed her mind. He was a spineless git.’
‘I know what he did was really low but, come on, Sarah. Look at it from his point of view. He wasn’t able to have kids, his marriage broke down and then he goes on Facebook and sees his daughter looking back at him. I can’t even imagine what that must feel like. I’d die if I found out I had kids I hadn’t known for seventeen years. I actually feel sorry for him. He’s missed out on their whole lives.’
Darren was right. It must be devastating for Tom, such a shock. But he should never have run away and abandoned Lucy like that. Still, what Gabriel had done was despicable. Lying to his own son about his kids.
‘What am I going to do?’
‘You’ll have to tell him the truth.’
‘Should I call Lucy?’ Sarah asked.
Darren chewed his lip. ‘I don’t think so. Not yet. Tell him that he has two kids – that’ll probably be enough to give the poor fella a heart attack. You’ll have to explain that Lucy thinks he knew about the kids and didn’t care.’
‘What’s Lucy going to say? This will kill her. He did leave her, Darren, whether he knew or not, he left her alone.’
‘But the fact is, he’s their dad and he deserves to know. I’d want to know.’
Sarah nodded. Tom should be told. Oh, God, what a mess. How was she going to tell Lucy?
‘One step at a time, Sarah. Tell him he has two kids. Tell him Lucy thinks he knew all along and that he abandoned them all. Explain to him that he has to take this really, really slowly.’
Sarah sat down and began to compose her reply.
Dear Tom, this will come as a shock to you, but you do have children. Lucy couldn’t go through with the abortion and gave birth to twins – Kelly and Dylan (who is the boy standing beside her in the photo). Running away like you did was unforgivable. You left Lucy alone to make all of these decisions. She thinks you know about the kids. She has no idea your father lied to you. Lucy has raised the twins alone and done an incredible job. She will not be happy to know I have been in touch with you. She feels betrayed by you. But I felt you should know the truth. I will not be giving you Lucy’s number. She will not want to hear from you. I realize this is a huge shock to you, but it will be an even bigger shock to Lucy and the kids. They have to be protected from any hurt or distress. You need to think about what I’ve told you and take this very, very slowly. There are two innocent children involved here who must not be upset. Lucy is my best friend. I will not let you hurt her again. Sarah
Sarah’s hand shook as she pressed Send. She had a horrible feeling things were never going to be the same again.
25
Lucy typed in the last figure and printed out the sheet. The shop was doing well, but she was keen for Billy to invest in a good coffee machine. The mark-up on hot drinks was huge, and as the only shop in a mile radius, with a huge footfall of locals passing on their way to the bus stop or railway station for work, or mothers heading to the park with young children or school kids coming in for coffees or hot chocolates, she reckoned they could make easy money.
But Billy was resistant to change. He said fancy coffee was a ‘fad’ and that he had no time for all that ‘grande latte’ nonsense. If Lucy had her way, she’d have a little deli counter in the shop selling takeout coffees, scones and rolls. They’d clean up. But Billy liked things the way they were, newspapers and groceries. She’d have to get Jenny and Sarah to help persuade him.
Lucy locked the shop and went upstairs to get changed. She was looking forward to seeing Damien. It was her little lifeline, and the sex wasn’t bad either. She put on her red lacy underwear and the black dress that made her feel good.
All those years ago in college, when she was nice to him because she felt sorry for him, she’d never have imagined he’d end up being her casual-sex person. She’d never fancied him – she was far too busy ogling Tom and his green eyes, stupid girl that she was. She’d have been better off going out with Damien, marrying him, and them becoming the two top barristers in Dublin. Instead, she’d got herself pregnant and trapped in a corner shop while Damien had gone on to have a glittering career and was hugely respected in the legal field. She’d make damn sure that Kelly ended up with a smart man who was kind and decent and going places, not a pathetic coward who shirked his responsibilities.
When she’d left college to have the babies and never gone back, she’d hidden herself away, ashamed at her failure. She didn’t want to keep in touch with her old classmates and hear how well they were doing. She was heartbroken, and devastated by her stupidity and failure. She’d wanted to cocoon herself in her new world of motherhood and nursing her dying mother.
Damien had tried to reach out to her, but she’d pushed him away. Then, five years ago, when she was celebrating her birthday in a bar in town with Sarah and Jenny, she’d bumped into him. Literally. She’d been on her way to the Ladies when she’d bumped into a tall, dark man in an expensive suit. He’d apologized and had turned to let her pass when he’d said her name.
Lucy had looked up and there was Damien. The same, but different. More confident, more self-assured. Not better-looking, but more groomed. They’d got chatting. Lucy was a bit drunk and lapped up his attention. She could see he still fancied her. He kept complimenting her. It was like rain during a drought. Lucy had gone for so long without male attention and affection that she didn’t realize how much she craved it. She flirted and giggled and touched his arm. At one in the morning when he’d asked her to come home with him, she’d gone willingly. The sex had been good. Lucy wasn’t looking for the universe to shake, she just wanted decent sex and companionship.
Damien was single, incredibly busy, and happy to have Lucy in his life. He didn’t want a wife or nagging girlfriend, he wanted Lucy.
Lucy loved listening to Damien talk about his cases. She soaked up the world he lived in, the one she’d wanted so badly. He sometimes asked her advice, which made her feel ten feet tall, and as if she was still a tiny bit involved in the legal world.
Lucy looked at her roots in the mirror. She’d need to book in with Sarah next week: the grey was beginning to show. She heard Dylan walking down the stairs, and put her head around the door. ‘Hey, where are you off to?’
‘Just meeting some of the lads.’
‘From the football team?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Okay, but you’ve got a match tomorrow. Make sure you’re home early.’
‘Relax, Mum. It’s fine.’
Dylan raced down the stairs, almost knocking Jenny over.
‘Easy there, tiger, where’s the rush?’
‘Sorry,’ he said, giving her a peck on the cheek. ‘I’m late.’
‘Don’t let me keep you from whoever she is,’ Jenny said.
Dylan raced out of the door without replying.
Lucy was putting on her mascara when Jenny came in. ‘Who’s the girl?’ Jenny asked.
‘What girl?’
‘The girl Dylan’s gone to meet.’
Lucy frowned. ‘He’s just seeing some of the football guys.’
Jenny snorted. ‘Yeah, right. With half a bottle of aftershave on him, I doubt it.’
L
ucy ignored her sister. Jenny didn’t have a clue. Dylan was at the age where boys overdid the aftershave all the time. It was new to them and they hadn’t learnt the art of subtlety. Besides, Dylan never lied to her.
Kelly, on the other hand, had been lying. Mrs Moran, the nosy cow, had come into the shop and told Lucy she’d seen Kelly with Sean at the cinema.
Lucy applied some more lipstick. Jenny took it from her and threw it in the wastepaper basket.
‘Stop that. I like it.’
‘Your lipstick is something a granny would wear. Put this on instead.’ She handed her sister a red one. ‘I got loads of new stuff in New York – I’ll bring some over tomorrow.’
‘Fine. Am I okay or do you need to change my whole face?’
Jenny looked her up and down. ‘You’re pretty good for a thirty-eight-year-old mother of twins.’
‘Gee, thanks.’
‘Tell me why I’m babysitting a seventeen-year-old again? I love Kelly, but isn’t she old enough to stay at home for a few hours by herself?’ Jenny asked.
‘I found out she’s been lying to me about seeing Sean Whelan. I don’t like him. His brother is wild – he got caught selling drugs in a nightclub and ended up in prison. I don’t want her getting involved with anyone who will lead her astray.’
Jenny laughed. ‘Come on, Lucy, she’s seventeen. We all lied at seventeen and dated boys our parents might not have approved of. Besides, just because Sean’s brother is wild doesn’t mean he is. I’ve seen him around and he seems like a nice kid.’
‘I don’t like her lying to me, Jenny. She never used to lie. He’s obviously a bad influence. I need to protect her. I don’t want her to make any stupid mistakes.’
Jenny put her hands up. ‘Fine. But don’t be too hard on her, she’s a great kid. Now off you go and get laid. You need it. It’ll de-stress you.’
‘Do I look okay?’
‘You look gorgeous. Enjoy yourself. Try not to let him talk too much about boring law.’
Lucy laughed. ‘I like talking about boring law.’
‘If that’s your idea of foreplay, go for it. Just make sure you leave time for sex.’
‘We always do.’ Lucy winked.
‘Woo-hoo, my sister’s libido is alive.’ Jenny grinned.
‘Sssh, Kelly might hear you.’
‘And what? Die of shock that her mother has occasional sex? Lucy, you’re a grown-up, you’re allowed to have a sex life.’
Lucy rolled her eyes. ‘I’m off. Remember, Kelly is not allowed out, not even to Shannon’s because it’s probably a lie and she’ll go and meet Sean.’
‘Fine. Just go and get naked.’
While Lucy went downstairs, Jenny knocked on Kelly’s door. It was her own old bedroom. ‘Open up. It’s me, Jenny.’
No answer. Jenny tried again. Nothing. Jenny took out a credit card and shimmied the door open – it was a trick she’d used as a teenager. Kelly wasn’t in her room and her window was open.
Damn. Jenny texted her. I’m in ur bedroom, yr mum doesn’t know uv snuck out. Get your arse back here now b4 she finds out. I’ll cover for u. Text me when you get back in.
A text came straight back. F**k, I locked the door.
It used to be my room. I know how to break in.
On way home now. Tx for covering.
No prob, but don’t do it again. I’ll try to talk to your mum about Sean.
Pleeeeeease do, he’s really great.
Is he nice to u? Does he treat u like the rock star u are?
YES, he really does.
OK then. U’ve 30 mins to get home.
Jenny went downstairs to make herself a coffee. She’d say nothing to Lucy. Kelly was a normal teenage girl, and Lucy was over-protective. Jenny understood Lucy’s motives, but it was hard on Kelly. Her sister needed to lighten up or the already fragile relationship she had with her daughter would break.
She hoped Lucy would have lots of sex tonight. She needed to relax and have some fun. She was always so stressed about the kids. They were amazing, she’d done an incredible job, but now she needed to get a life for herself. Mind you, that Damien wasn’t very sexy. Jenny reckoned Lucy could do a lot better. But, then, Lucy thought Jenny’s love life was wrong.
In the beginning, Lucy had begged her to stop seeing Frank. She’d kept reminding her that he was married with a son. But he was the sexiest, most confident man Jenny had ever met, and the richest too. They’d met a year ago when she’d gone to Cannes to do make-up for an Irish actress who was starring in one of the nominated movies. Frank had been staying in the same hotel. Jenny had met him in the bar and sparks had flown.
In the first six months he’d wined and dined her. Weekends in Paris and London, hotel suites, vintage champagne. Jenny had loved it. It was the high life with none of the hassle. But Lucy had kept at her: it was wrong, it was immoral, he was using her, she deserved better …
Life with Frank was so much more fun than without. She wanted adventure and excitement and he gave it to her.
Jenny heard a noise from upstairs. She went up to the bedroom. Kelly was closing the window. ‘You could have come in the front door. Your mum’s gone out and Billy’s in the pub.’
‘I was afraid she might have changed her mind or gone out later.’
‘You can’t climb out of the window at night, Kelly. Your mum will freak if she finds out.’
Kelly bit her thumbnail. ‘I can’t do anything right anyway.’
‘Come on, you know she loves you and she’s just a bit over-protective.’
‘She’s a jailer. She wants to lock me up until I’m thirty. All she cares about is my exam results and fitting in at bloody St Jude’s.’
‘I take it it’s not going any better?’
‘I hate it.’
‘It can’t be that bad, and you hated Woodside at first too.’
‘This is different. I only hated Woodside cos I missed Dylan. I hate St Jude’s because the girls are bitches.’
‘Is that Melissa cow still giving you hassle?’
‘Yes, and it’s worse now because Dylan told her to leave me alone.’
‘Oh, God, bad idea.’
‘Yeah, and he’s going out with her step-sister, Taylor. They’re all over each other. I think Melissa is jealous, so she’s even more vicious to me.’
‘Fight back. Don’t take any crap from her.’
‘I can’t. If I get into trouble in school, Mum will kill me. She keeps banging on about how important it is that I behave impeccably and not put a foot wrong or I’ll jeopardize the scholarship and let the family down, blah-blah-blah. She’s obsessed with this stupid school. Did she want to go there when she was a kid or something?’
If only you knew, Jenny thought. Your dickhead of a father and bastard of a grandfather went there. ‘Uhm, no. She just wants them to see how great you are. Look, you’re entitled to defend yourself, so if Melissa is being mean to you, you’re allowed to fight back and no one is going to blame you. Just don’t punch her or send any mad texts. Do it verbally so it’s your word against hers.’
‘Sean’s the only good thing in my life.’
‘How long have you been seeing him?’
‘Three weeks.’
Jenny grinned. ‘And it’s love?’
Kelly blushed. ‘No, well … I mean … maybe … I really like him and he’s really nice to me and right now I need that, Jenny. School is so horrible. Will you talk to Mum and see if you can make her understand that it’s okay for me to see Sean? Please?’
Jenny smiled. ‘I’ll try, but you know how stubborn Lucy is.’
Kelly sighed. ‘I certainly do.’
‘Do you want to hear good news?’ Jenny asked.
‘Obvs.’
‘I wore the dress you made me and everyone on the shoot in New York was asking me where I got it. It’s really gorgeous. You’re very creative as well as being intelligent – you lucky thing. It’s rare to get both.’
‘Did they really?’ Kelly was
clearly thrilled.
‘Yes.’
‘Cool, thanks, Jenny.’
‘You’re welcome. Now, come on downstairs and watch a movie with me.’
‘Okay, but I’m not watching Magic Mike again.’
‘But they’re all so hot.’
‘We’ve watched it tons of times. I’m choosing tonight.’
‘No mushy rom-coms,’ Jenny pleaded. ‘By the way, what’s up with your Facebook page? You never post anything, and when you do it’s really boring. You need to shake it up a bit … or is it a cover?’
‘Of course it’s not my real Facebook page. I have a different one, a proper one. The boring one is to keep Mum from snooping into my life.’
‘Will you accept me as your friend on your real one?’
‘No. It’s private. I’m seventeen and I need some privacy, Jenny!’
‘Fair enough. I thought I was your cool aunt.’
‘You are, but you’re still old and Mum’s sister.’
‘Right, that’s it. We’re watching Magic Mike.’
‘Nooooo!’ Kelly laughed and threw a cushion at her.
Halfway through the movie, Kelly looked at Jenny. ‘Can I ask you something?’
Jenny paused the film. ‘Sure.’
‘I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot lately. I don’t know why, I guess maybe when things aren’t great you start thinking about stuff more. Anyway, I really want to try to find him when I turn eighteen. I’ll be an adult and Mum can’t stop me. I need to know who he is. You can track anyone down if you know their full name. Do you think Mum will ever tell me his name?’
Jenny swallowed. ‘To be honest, Kelly, I don’t think she will. Look, I know it’s really hard on you not having a dad or even knowing who he is. It must hurt like hell that he left you before you were even born, but I think he made it kind of clear that he didn’t want to be a father. He’s never come looking for you. I’m sorry, Kelly. I know you want to find him, but even I don’t know his name, and if you did persuade Lucy to tell you, all you’d find is heartache. You may not have a dad, but you have a family who adore you. I really think you need to find a way to make peace with that.’ Jenny reached over and put her arm around Kelly. ‘I love you and I think you rock. Try focusing on this hot new guy Sean. Show me a photo of him – I want to see him close up.’
Our Secrets and Lies Page 17
