‘You should have said, “At least I don’t look like my step-sister’s afterbirth,” ’ Shannon had told her when she’d heard.
Kelly had laughed. That would have been too mean to say, but it was funny.
She picked up Shannon’s big bra and held it up to herself. ‘I’ll never have cleavage,’ she said, with a sigh.
‘Yeah, and I’ll never see my feet again.’ Shannon grinned.
Shannon sometimes wished she was thin and beautiful and smart like Kelly. Boys only talked to Shannon’s chest, which was insulting. Shannon liked her curves and she knew boys did too, but there were loads of cool clothes she couldn’t wear because her boobs were too big. Then again, she might not be book smart, but she wouldn’t let some stupid little snob push her around. Kelly was too nice and too worried about everyone else’s feelings. She was obsessed with making her mother happy. Shannon reckoned it was because Kelly had no dad and felt bad for Lucy being abandoned and all. She felt sorry for Lucy too, but there was a limit to how much you had to sacrifice because your wanker of a father left your mother.
But whenever Shannon gave out about it to her mum, Sarah said that Lucy had been on the road to a huge career and would have been seriously successful, but then the guy left her, broke Lucy’s heart and crushed her dreams.
Shannon felt for her, it was a crap thing to happen, but surely seventeen years later Lucy should be over it and Kelly shouldn’t still have to be doing everything to be the perfect child to make up for her dad being a loser. Why couldn’t Lucy go to therapy or take Xanax, chill the hell out and stop putting so much pressure on Kelly? She thought the whole thing was way too unfair. Mind you, it did make her really thankful for her great dad. Although Darren could be embarrassing at times, he was a brilliant dad and Shannon knew how much he loved her.
All through her childhood Darren had told Shannon she was his princess, he was proud of her, she was gorgeous and funny, and any boy would be lucky to have her. He was a terrific hugger too. Shannon knew Darren adored her and that he’d do anything for her. It made her feel all warm inside. She felt bad for Kelly that she had never had that.
Shannon put more eyeshadow on. ‘Thank God I have you, Kelly. You’re the sister I’ll never have.’
‘Me too. Brothers are great, but there’s a lot you can’t talk to them about.’
Shannon snorted. ‘I can’t talk to Ollie about anything. He’s deranged.’
‘Dylan’s good usually, but since he met Taylor he’s just been out with her all the time. I’m worried – he’s drinking and sneaking out at night. Mum said he played badly last week. I know it’s because he got home really late. I had to let him in. If Mum finds out, she’ll absolutely freak. If he plays badly and gets dropped from the team, he could lose the scholarship and Mum will die. Literally. You know how much she adores Dylan and how perfect she thinks he is.’
Shannon turned away from the mirror. ‘For the love of Jesus, Kelly, will you stop worrying about everyone and obsessing about losing that bloody scholarship? Dylan is allowed to have a good time and you’re allowed to defend yourself from bullies. From what I can see, this scholarship is ruining everyone’s life.’
Kelly looked out of the window into the garden, where Ollie was digging a huge hole in the middle of the grass. The scholarship did feel like a noose around her neck, but her mum was so happy and proud. She had to make sure that neither she nor Dylan ruined it. They owed this to Lucy. She’d stick out St Jude’s for her mother’s sake, but she wasn’t giving up Sean. No way.
29
Dylan sat hunched over his cereal bowl while Kelly played with her toast. Lucy was standing at the counter cutting fruit into a bowl and Billy was making coffee. The kitchen door opened and Jenny came in. ‘Hey, I’m out of coffee and food, so I thought I’d call over. One of the many good things about living so close by is I can feed myself here.’ Jenny plonked herself down between Dylan and Kelly.
‘I told you to take some bread and coffee home with you yesterday when you called into the shop,’ Billy grumbled.
‘Yes, but I’d much rather call in and have it served to me.’ Jenny winked at him. ‘If you had a coffee machine you could sell really amazing coffee and make a huge profit.’
‘Not this again.’ Billy sighed. ‘She’s been tormenting me all week about it,’ he said, pointing at Lucy.
Jenny pretended to be surprised. ‘Really?’
‘It’s been non-stop about the bloody coffee machine.’
‘Well, she’s right. Think of the profit you could make. Everyone wants good take-out coffee now,’ Jenny said.
Lucy could have kissed her sister.
‘She has a point, Granddad. Even kids my age would buy cappuccinos and lattes,’ Kelly said.
Lucy wanted to kiss Kelly too.
‘Cappuccinos at your age? It’s ridiculous.’
‘Maybe, but it’s how things are today,’ Lucy said. ‘I guarantee you’ll be jumping for joy after a month when you see the profits, Dad.’
Billy turned to Dylan. ‘What do you think?’
Dylan shrugged. ‘Whatever.’
Lucy looked at him. ‘Whatever? Is that all you have to contribute?’
Dylan went back to his cereal.
‘Someone’s got out of the wrong side of bed today,’ Jenny said. ‘What’s up with you?’
‘Nothing,’ Dylan muttered.
‘Are you all right, pet? You look exhausted.’ Lucy was worried about him. He’d been in rotten form since the match last week. She knew he hated playing badly, but this was much worse than normal: he’d barely spoken in the last few days.
‘Do you feel ill?’ She put her hand to his forehead.
He pulled away. ‘I’m fine, leave it.’
‘It’s probably a girl,’ Billy said, pouring himself a coffee. ‘Girls are usually the root of teenage-boy problems.’
‘And boys are the root of all teenage-girl problems.’ Jenny smirked at her father.
‘Is that it, Dylan?’ Lucy asked. ‘Is it girl trouble?’
‘Jesus, Mum, I said I’m fine.’ Dylan stood up and stormed out of the room.
In shock, Lucy watched him go. He’d never snapped at her like that. Dylan was the easy-going child, the one who never answered back.
‘Jeez, whatever it is, he’s taken it badly,’ Jenny said.
‘I’m worried about him. He’s in terrible form.’
Billy patted Lucy’s shoulder. ‘Relax, sure it’s only hormones. Some silly girlfriend problem, I reckon.’
‘But he doesn’t have a girlfriend,’ Lucy said.
Jenny laughed. ‘Judging by the amount of aftershave he’s been wearing lately, I’d say he does.’
Lucy decided to ask the one person who would know. ‘Kelly, is Dylan seeing someone?’
‘Uhm, I’m not sure,’ she lied. The last thing Kelly wanted was to get into a conversation about Taylor. She knew her mother would think she was unsuitable because she was a party girl. To be fair, she’d be right. Taylor was bad for Dylan, but Kelly wasn’t going to snitch on her brother. They always had each other’s backs. Well … they used to. Anyway, she wasn’t going to fail him now.
But her mother wasn’t letting it go. ‘Well, have you heard anything? Has he said anything to you? Have you seen him in school with anyone? I wonder if it’s that blonde girl I saw at the football match.’
Kelly got up and rinsed her plate. ‘I don’t know, Mum. I don’t really see Dylan in school. We’re in different classes for everything.’ She wanted to get out of the kitchen and away from all the questions. It was funny that her mum was so worried about Dylan, Kelly thought bitterly, when she herself was the one being bullied relentlessly.
‘Will you talk to him and find out?’ Lucy asked her. ‘I hate to see him upset.’
I’m upset too, Kelly wanted to shout. Instead she said, ‘Okay,’ and left the kitchen.
Billy sniffed. ‘You were the same when you were his age, always some kind of drama about a boy.’<
br />
‘No, there wasn’t!’ Lucy protested.
‘I was,’ Jenny said. ‘I had lots of boyfriend drama.’
Billy rolled his eyes. ‘Sure there was nothing but drama with you. You were always getting into trouble. I never had a day’s trouble with Lucy, but you …’
Except when she got pregnant and dropped out of college, Jenny wanted to say, but she bit her tongue. It was amazing that, even after everything that had happened with Lucy, Billy still saw Jenny as the difficult child.
Mind you, it was the same with Dylan. It was like history repeating itself. Dylan was perfect in Lucy’s eyes and Kelly could do nothing right. It pained Jenny to see her sister being so hard on Kelly. It reminded her of how her dad had been with her. Maybe that was just what happened with kids: you had one you naturally loved more.
Billy wasn’t going to change now. Lucy would always be his favourite, no matter what Jenny achieved in her life. She’d given up trying to impress him.
‘Nothing wrong with a bit of drama. Dylan will be fine, Lucy. He’s probably just had a fight with the girl he’s seeing, or maybe he got dumped. He’ll bounce back. Sure they’ll be queuing up to go out with him – gorgeous and a superstar.’
‘I suppose so. I’m probably fussing. I just hate to see him down – he’s always so sunny.’
‘He’ll be grand. He’s a great fellow,’ Billy said. ‘Right, I’m off to open the shop. I’ll get a bag of groceries for you to take home, Jenny.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’
‘If you had a husband, he’d look after you. How did I end up looking after everyone?’
‘You love it,’ Jenny said.
‘My arse I do. I should be gardening or playing golf.’
‘You hate gardening and golf. We know you love that shop,’ Lucy said. ‘Sure it’s your third child.’
‘And the only one who never answers me back.’
‘Now,’ Jenny said, ‘on to something more important than coffee machines. What are we doing for your sixty-fifth?’
‘Dinner here with the family is plenty,’ Billy said.
Jenny sighed. ‘Come on. It’s a chance for a night out. Live a little. How about dinner out?’
‘I don’t want a fuss.’
‘If I promise not to book a stripper, can we go out to dinner?’
‘Okay, but if you found a stripper who looked like Ursula Andress in the bikini in James Bond, I’d be fine with it.’ Billy winked at her.
‘I’ll see what I can do.’
Billy unlocked the door into the shop and disappeared.
‘I’ll book Chez Marco – he likes it there and it’s got a family vibe. That suit you?’
Lucy spread some jam on her toast. ‘Sounds great. Will we say it to Sarah and Darren and the kids?’
‘Yeah.’ Jenny paused. ‘Does that mean Ollie too?’
Lucy smiled. ‘Maybe, but I’d say Sarah will probably leave him at home with a babysitter. Actually, Dad and Ollie have become quite the pals. Ollie has been calling into the shed and hanging out for hours making things out of wood. Dad’s great with him.’
‘That’s nice to hear, as long as Ollie doesn’t lose control of the nail gun and shoot Dad in the heart,’ Jenny said.
Lucy laughed. ‘I was a bit worried about all the tools in there. Dad did say there was a hairy moment the first night Ollie called in where he nearly sawed Dad’s arm off.’
They cracked up laughing. ‘I hope Dad knows what he’s doing. Of all the places for a hyper accident-prone kid to hang out, a shed full of tools seems nuts,’ Jenny said. Her phone beeped. She read the message and gasped. ‘Oh, shit.’
‘What’s wrong?’
‘Frank’s wife found out he’s got another woman.’
‘Oh, God, Jenny.’
‘He said she’s gone totally ape-shit and broken every plate and glass in the house.’
‘Well, you can hardly be surprised that she’s upset.’
‘Damn it.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘He said he’ll be in touch when things calm down.’
Lucy put down her mug of coffee. ‘I’m sorry, Jenny. I never approved, but I know you liked him.’
Jenny sighed. ‘If anyone can talk his way out of something, it’s Frank. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens.’
Lucy was secretly glad. Maybe now Jenny could meet a nice man, single, devoted to her. She deserved it, and Lucy wanted only the best for her little sister.
30
Kelly was getting really worried about Dylan. She’d tried talking to him and asking him what was wrong, but he kept fobbing her off and saying he was fine. It hurt, because they’d always been so close in the past.
Kelly and Dylan, Dylan and Kelly. Peas in a pod. It was Kelly’s hand that Dylan had reached for when the teacher asked them to make a Father’s Day card, aged five. He’d squeezed it so tight, it hurt. Kelly had put up her hand and asked, ‘Can we make one for our granddad instead?’ It was on Kelly’s bed that Dylan had cried when one of the guys on the opposition football team had called him an illegitimate bastard before he was about to take a penalty to win the match. It was Kelly whom Dylan had come to aged thirteen when he’d felt sudden blind rage at his father for leaving them. It was Kelly who had calmed him down and told him not to ask Lucy for information. Kelly had made him see that Lucy didn’t want them to ask about their father.
Lucy always got this really awful look on her face whenever anyone mentioned their father. When someone asked if Kelly looked like ‘her dad’, Lucy’s face would kind of crumple. Kelly always held her breath when it happened. She could see how hard her mother struggled with it. There was no way Dylan could go in and demand to know what his dad’s name was so he could track him down and tell him how much he hated him. Kelly wanted to ask him why he’d left them, why he’d never cared or wanted to know them. But she knew that asking Lucy for his name would make her face crumple and Kelly didn’t want that to happen. She wanted to protect her mum from all the pain.
It was Kelly who had sat up with Dylan late into the night, going over every single second of the all-Ireland final that his team had won last year. But just as she had been there for him, so he had been for her. Dylan had punched John Long when he’d called Kelly ‘skinny freak’ in third class. Dylan had handed her tissues and held her hand when the headmistress gave the maths prize to the girl who had come second in the exams. It was Dylan who’d always acted as the mediator when she argued with Mum.
Kelly hardly saw him now – he was busier than ever. She missed her brother. She felt left out. While he was thriving at St Jude’s, she was drowning. They were drifting apart and it frightened her.
Kelly knew that either football or Taylor was upsetting Dylan. It was Melissa who ended up telling her the truth.
‘Thank God Taylor’s finally free of your brother. She can get a decent boyfriend now, not some charity-case footballer.’
‘I can’t believe he dumped her. Is he insane or blind?’ Alicia asked Kelly.
Melissa glared at her friend. ‘My sister did not get dumped,’ she hissed.
Wow, Kelly thought. Dylan had dumped Taylor. But he’d seemed so into her. And if he was the one who broke up with her, then why was he so miserable?
Kelly spent the day trying to catch sight of Dylan. After lunch she saw him. He went over to talk to Taylor in the corridor, but she completely blanked him. She looked straight through him as if he didn’t exist. Kelly could see he was crushed. Why had he broken up with her if he still liked her? Kelly didn’t get it.
That night, Kelly waited in Dylan’s bedroom for him to get home from training.
‘What are you doing?’ he snapped, when he saw her sitting on his bed.
‘Waiting to talk to you about Taylor. I heard you broke up with her.’
‘Yeah, and it fucking sucks.’
‘Why did you do it?’
Dylan wiped sweat from his face with a towel and threw himself into the cha
ir beside his desk. ‘Because, as you know, she’s a party girl and I was staying out late and drinking and playing badly. Jordan pulled me aside and told me I was risking everything and to cop on. He said he’d drop me if I turned up and played badly again. He knew I was hung-over. I can’t let him down. I love training under him.’
Kelly felt her stomach drop – risking everything? He must have played really badly. ‘You did the right thing. To be honest, I’m relieved. I was worried about all the late nights and lying to Mum. You know she’d go insane if she knew you were drinking till all hours.’
Dylan wrapped the towel around his neck. ‘Yes, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I still have to see Taylor every day in school and it’s killing me.’
‘Try to avoid her.’
‘I go to the gym at lunchtime and pump weights so I don’t have to see her in the canteen. But I can’t totally avoid her. She’s in three of my classes.’
‘There are always ways to avoid people,’ Kelly said quietly. She could tell him lots of places to hide. Kelly was an expert at being invisible in school.
‘I don’t want to avoid her. I like seeing her. I want to see her. I want … God, I don’t know.’
‘She’s not worth it, Dylan. Focus on your football and school. You can’t mess up. St Dylan can’t blow this.’
‘Stop calling me that.’ Dylan threw the towel at his sister.
‘You know how proud Mum is of you and how much this scholarship means to her.’
‘I do.’ Dylan stared up at the ceiling. ‘Sometimes I wish it didn’t mean so much.’
‘Tell me about it.’ Kelly exhaled deeply. She wished every bloody day that the scholarship had never happened. ‘I wish Mum could be happy with her life, like Sarah. Why is she so obsessed with us being successful?’
Dylan moved over and lay down on his bed, groaning as his aching muscles sank into the mattress. ‘I guess she had to give up her life for us when our dad buggered off and she wants us to have a better life.’
‘Do you ever wonder what he’s like? Where he is? If he had other kids?’
Our Secrets and Lies Page 20
