by Liz Bower
“Why? Gabi told me she ran through practice questions with you. Everyone always thinks an interview or an exam didn’t go well, only to get the job or ace it. It’s usually when you think you’ve done well that it turns out you didn’t.”
I unfolded my arms and grabbed the tub of ice cream. His words didn’t reassure me. I took another spoonful and licked the spoon clean before offering him the tub.
He shook his head. “I wouldn’t dream of getting between a girl and her ice cream.”
His lips quirked up on one side and then he flashed me that cocky grin. The one I thought I hated, but I didn’t. Not even a little. I fought the smile threatening to answer his, shoving another spoonful into my mouth instead. I sucked the spoon for a moment but Marco didn’t say anything else.
I huffed out a breath and said, “I don’t know. It took me ages to answer their questions, and I sounded really nervous. Alex asked me the ‘where do you see yourself in five years’ time’ question and my mind went blank.”
I snuck a look at Marco; he was studying me intently, his expression soft and seemingly interested, so I carried on. “Gabi helped me work out this answer that would blow them away and instead I said ‘being happy.’ It was so lame. The room went silent after that except for the scratch of Alex’s posh pen. I tried to come up with a better answer when Alex asked me another question. But I was still thinking about the last one, so I just started rambling.” I blew out a loud breath that lifted my fringe away from my face. It was quite possibly the worst interview I’d ever had. I glanced at Marco but saw no trace of amusement on his face. “It just spiralled downwards from there.”
He shifted on the sofa to face me, which brought us close enough for our legs to press together. His hand brushed against my forearm. Goosebumps broke out behind the trail of his touch as the hairs on the back of my neck lifted.
“I’m sure they’ll take into account that you were nervous. You were fantastic at the client dinner we went to. Surely they have to take that into consideration. And your boss knows you, knows how hard you work, and how much you want this job. He’d be a fool not to hire you. Even if you did have a little wobble in the interview.”
At his words, the memory of me brandishing spreadsheets in Alex’s face came to mind. I looked at Marco long and hard, trying to work him out. Was this Marco who was trying to reassure me the same one who spent most of my teenage years tormenting me? As he leaned back against the sofa, I realised I was making him uncomfortable with my scrutiny and looked away.
“Thanks, Marco. I guess you’re right. I just needed someone to tell me what I already knew deep down.”
“Anytime,” he said.
His hand dropped to my thigh. Not low enough to be just a friendly gesture, yet not quite high enough to be intimate. Then he gave it a gentle squeeze.
I jerked away from his touch when the front door opened and Gabi strolled in.
She hung her coat and bag on the hooks and looked over her shoulder at us. “Well, you two look happy.”
My cheeks heated and I couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Jo had her interview today,” Marco said.
Gabi walked over to the coffee table and sat on it opposite me. “I take it it didn’t go well from the dent in the ice cream you’ve made.”
I shrugged. “It could have gone better.”
Gabi leaned over to press a hand against my leg, just above my knee and definitely in the friendly territory. Unlike Marco’s. “I’m sure it went better than you think. We did loads of prep for it. Why don’t we go out to the pub and you can tell me how it went?”
Half an hour later, the three of us walked into the Bay Horse and I was regretting it already. I’d spent so many lunchtimes there that I couldn’t help but think of work as my heels clipped across the stone floors. Gabi and I made our way out to the courtyard at the back while Marco ordered the drinks.
“So tell me, why do you think it didn’t go well?”
I told her the lowlights of the interview before Marco sat down next to her, placing three bottles of beer on the table.
By the time I was working my way through my third bottle of the night, I started to relax. Maybe it hadn’t gone as badly as I thought. There was nothing I could do about it anyway. By ten I had drunk far too much for a work night and was feeling more than a little tipsy. I suggested we head home, as I remembered what happened the last time I drank too much when I had work the next day.
Gabi let us into the house. “Night, you two,” she said and then left both of us downstairs. I slouched across most of the sofa. Marco lifted my head so he could sit down and placed my head back on his shoulder. My hand rested on his chest—his firm, muscled chest—and I felt the steady beat of his heart beneath it. I lifted my head and stared straight into his eyes that were focused on me.
He had beautiful eyes framed with dark, thick lashes. “I thought you had green eyes, but in the right light, they look almost grey. They’re beautiful.”
He sucked in a loud breath. My gaze dropped to his lips that were still parted and I licked my own. Would his stubble feel rough against my skin? I lifted my hand and ran a finger across the bit that framed his top lip.
I stopped when his tongue darted out and then licked along my finger. His lips parted farther and he sucked it between them. The warmth of his mouth surrounded my whole finger. I lifted my gaze back to his and tried to swallow as he stroked his knuckles across my cheek. I was lost in his gaze, all thoughts fleeing my fuzzy mind. My body heated like I had a fever. His hand slid around until his fingers wrapped around my neck. He released my finger from his mouth, and I brushed it across his full lower lip. So soft.
His fingers tightened slightly around my neck, and the rapid throb of my pulse was obvious beneath his touch. His eyes fluttered shut, and I waited, wondering if he would kiss me that time. I bit down on my lip as I held my breath.
When he opened his eyes, I could see my own desire reflected in them. He released his hold on my neck and pulled my lip free from between my teeth with his thumb. I shifted closer to him and could feel the heat radiating through his T-shirt. A T-shirt that was in the way right then. I dragged my hand down his chest until I reached the hem and slipped my fingers beneath it. My lips lifted into a slight smile when his muscles clenched at my touch and I skated my fingers higher. He leaned in, brushing his nose across my cheek until his lips met mine. Gently he kissed their edges, but I wanted more than that.
“Jo? Did you lock the front door?”
At Gabi’s shout from the top of the stairs, I leaped off the sofa, staring wide-eyed at Marco. He didn’t seem in the least bothered that Gabi could have caught us.
“Jo?”
My heart was pounding as I tried to take in a deep breath. I stepped towards the front door, but Gabi had already reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Did you not hear me?” When I just stared at her, she asked, “Everything okay?”
I glanced at Marco but he had his head bent over his phone, so I just nodded. “I’m just gonna …” I hitched my thumb over my shoulder towards the stairs. “Go to bed. Night.”
Not waiting for Gabi to respond, I ran up the stairs and locked myself in the bathroom, leaning back against the door and closing my eyes. What would she have said if she caught us? I pressed my fingertips to my lips, remembering the soft press of Marco’s lips against mine, and let out a sigh.
This was Marco. My … friend? But gazing into his eyes, he hadn’t felt like a friend.
I’d wanted to kiss him.
And then some.
CHAPTER NINE
The next morning I cracked open my eyes with a groan. I stared at a dark spot on the ceiling, then closed them again as memories of the previous night assaulted me, making my stomach flip.
I’d kissed Marco.
I didn’t do shit like that. I’d sworn to myself that after Josh I would find a guy who was different. Someone dependable and faithful.
I grabbed the pillow
from beneath my head and covered my face with it. Marco was the last person I should start something with. He was just like Josh.
Okay, maybe not as bad as Josh. I didn’t think he’d be sleeping with half of Gartdale behind my back. But then again, I hadn’t thought Josh would either. I assumed Marco at the least had managed to stay faithful to Lily.
Oh my God, Lily. Was I Marco’s rebound fling? Or just another notch on his bedpost like all the girls from high school? He might as well have fitted a revolving door in his bedroom with the number of girls I’d seen him with back then. And I didn’t even want to think about what his mum would say. Although, I had to be an improvement on Lily as his mum’s words came back to me: “I always thought you could do better than her.” But what if Regina and Gabi thought Marco could do better than me too?
With a moan, I removed the pillow from over my face. Maybe if I pretended it had never happened, then Marco would never mention it. I glanced at the alarm clock and rolled over to cancel the alarm before it went off in ten minutes. As I lay on my side, I listened for any signs of movement in the house, but all was quiet. I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
When I reached the bottom of the stairs into the living room, I discovered that Marco had already left for the day. There was no trace of what had happened. No pile of sheets on the sofa like normal. I trailed a hand across the arm of the sofa, staring at the empty cushions, then blinked as my eyes prickled, giving myself a mental shake. It was just a kiss. It wasn’t a big deal. It definitely wouldn’t be a big deal to Marco.
Absently I wondered how many women he’d already kissed since he’d split with Lily. The thought that I was just one of many was like a slap in the face. Marco probably wouldn’t give it another thought and there I was obsessing over a kiss. It was only a bloody kiss.
***
At work, time seemed to be dragging. The clock on my computer read half past four, and I had checked my email at least a thousand times. I’d reorganised my in-tray—twice—and tidied both my desk and drawers. As I swung my chair from side to side, I didn’t know if it was a good thing or not that I hadn’t heard from Alex yet. I drummed my fingers against the desktop. Then I reminded myself that he’d said he’d give me his decision by the end of the day. I spun my chair round to face his office, but I couldn’t see anything through his closed blinds.
My interview had been the last Alex had done, the few external applicants who had applied having been interviewed before me. I swivelled my chair back towards the desk and almost knocked Toby over in the process. “Sorry. I didn’t realise you were there.”
“That’s okay,” he said, nodding at me. As he did, one dark curl fell across his forehead into his blue eyes.
“Did you need me for something?”
His thin, pale lips curved up into an almost smile. I fought the urge to push my chair away as I craned my neck back to look up at him and waited for him to say something. After a long moment, he looked over my shoulder, then shook his head and wandered off towards the stairs.
“Jo, do you have a moment?”
At the sound of Alex’s voice, I stood and wiped my hands down my grey trousers. I plastered a smile on my face. “Of course.” I followed him into his office and took a seat facing his desk. The sound of his muffled footsteps on the carpet and the ticking of the wall clock seemed too loud as I waited for him to sit down. He adjusted the pile of papers on his desk and straightened his pen. I slipped my lip beneath my teeth, wishing he would just get it over with quickly and in one go, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“First of all, I’d like to thank you for applying for the position and the sterling job you did with the Lakeside Holiday dinner.”
I nodded, trying to keep the smile in place because I sensed a ‘but’ coming.
“Your knowledge of our software is a huge asset to this firm, and I hope you are aware of that. However, I think you know the interview could have gone better.”
My shoulders dropped as I waited for the inevitable confirmation of my worst fears.
“It was still a close call between you and one other woman. In the end, her numerous years of experience in this type of role made the decision for me. I’m sorry, Jo, but this time you weren’t successful.”
My teeth nipped the inside of my lip hard enough to draw blood and I winced. “I understand, Alex. Obviously I’d like to thank you for the opportunity.” I didn’t know what else to say; I just blinked rapidly and willed the tears stinging my eyes not to fall.
“Should another position arise in the future, I’d be happy to consider you for the role. Like I said, you are an asset to this company.”
I stood and held out my hand. Alex’s eyebrows drew together as he looked towards my outstretched hand. Finally, he wrapped his fingers around my palm, briefly shaking it before dropping it like he might catch something if he held on too long.
“Thank you,” I said again, then turned to leave his office. With a shake of my head, I quietly closed the door behind me. A handshake? I trudged back to my desk and sank into the chair. Well, that was that. I swiped a finger across the side of my eye and shut down my computer.
Not wanting to navigate my way through the crowded high street, I took a detour on my walk home. I walked across the bridge, trailing my hands across the rough, mossy stones. Stopping halfway across to lean over the wall and watch the river tumble over the stones in its path, I let myself get lost in the flow of the water.
I swung my legs over the wall and dangled them high above the water. If I cocked my head to the side, it almost looked like I was standing on the water. That made me laugh. Walk on water? I can’t even get a job I know I could do blindfolded.
As I placed my hands on the wall behind me, I looked up at the perfectly clear blue sky. I knew it wasn’t the end of the world. My current job was good and I enjoyed it. I tilted my head towards the sun like a sunflower and closed my eyes. It was more that if I hadn’t screwed up, then Alex probably would have given it to me. I’d let myself down.
And my job was the part of my life where I thought I had it together. After scraping through my A levels and numerous crappy admin jobs, I’d ended up at Danver Solutions. It had been another temp job at the start, but then Donna had been complaining about all the test scripts she had to create, and I’d offered to help. It was boring as hell but still better than filing and typing up minutes of meetings, which I could do in my sleep.
When testing had started, Donna had asked Alex if she could borrow me a few days a week and I loved it. Donna had long left Danver Solutions, and I found myself in what had been her role of senior software tester. Not a client analyst though. Or anytime soon, it would seem.
I swung my legs over the water and watched the look of pure joy spread over a little girl’s face as she threw bread towards the ducks.
As I sat there contemplating my life, it was easy to find mine lacking in comparison to Gabi and Marco. It wasn’t that they thought they were better than me when it came to work. That was my hang-up. They both had degrees, had both known the careers they wanted. And they’d achieved it. Gabi had gone into journalism, and Marco had always been arty. With his graphic design degree, he had a great job creating online adverts for clients. And what did I have? A crappy business studies and English literature A level that wasn’t good for anything. Oh yeah, and my dream job if I hadn’t screwed up the opportunity.
I sat there until two boys joined me on the bridge and started to throw sticks into the river before racing to the other side to spot them. With a final look at the water, I swung my legs back over the wall and jumped down.
It was a slow walk home as I wasn’t looking forward to breaking the news to Gabi. It would make it seem all that more final once I told her.
I shut the door slowly behind me and threw my handbag on the floor beneath the rack. Dragging my feet, I stopped at the sight of Marco lounging on the sofa. All I could picture was the two of us in that spot as our lips met. Will he mention it? Shou
ld I?
Even though I had the urge to run upstairs, I made my way to the sofa instead. I curled up in my usual corner and Marco moved to crouch in front of me.
He placed a hand on each of my knees and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I turned away from his intense gaze. “Alex gave someone else the job.”
He pushed up to sit next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders. I tensed beneath his touch but he pulled me towards him anyway. He shifted until I was resting against his chest, and he ran his hand up and down my arm. At the gentle touch, I relaxed into him.
“I’m sorry. I know how much it meant to you.”
After a few moments of silence, I shrugged and pulled away from him. “I’ll get over it. I just really thought I was in with a shot. But Alex said he’d consider me in the future. I need more experience … and to improve my interview technique.”
We lapsed back into silence. It was uncomfortable and I tugged at the hem of my shirt.
If I bring up the kiss, will it be more awkward or clear the air?
I was still debating it when Marco asked, “Where’s Gabi?”
“She’s probably gone for drinks after work in Manchester.”
“With who?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. People from her office. Scott, probably.”
He shifted so he could see my face. “Who’s Scott?”
“A guy from work. They’re good friends.”
He snorted and his eyebrows lifted.
“What?” I asked.
“Men are never just ‘good friends’ with women. He’ll want to be more than her friend. Trust me.”
I stared at him and his gaze dropped to my pursed lips. “Never? We’re just friends.”
His gaze lifted from my lips, he cleared his throat and then looked away.
“Yeah. So I thought we could get a takeaway, maybe watch a movie?”
Wow. That was a real subtle subject change. Was he thinking about our almost kiss, or had he forgotten about it already? Or maybe he didn’t think we were friends.
